Dressing to cover rather than style

[letsgoooo]

I see a lot of older women (I am nearly 60) who dress with the main intention being to cover up bits they don't like rather than to dress in a certain style that they do like.

Sleeves that reach the elbow to cover upper arm flab or loose capri pants that hide legs but are cooler than full length in summer. Waterfall cardigans to cover the bottom. Strange cut outs at the shoulder to show a little skin where they feel their skin isn't looking so aged.

I think this all results in frumpy looking old lady dressing style.

I don't think anyone else is really noticing a bit of a bingo wing or a wrinkly knee and dressing to cover bits of you just results in an overall unstylish look which everyone notices. I feel the discomfort at our aging bodies is leading women feel they need to cover things up even if it leaves them looking like stereotypical old ladies

Although shorts are generally not my favourite. I find them hard to style myself. I did like one pair in the 90s but they were printed and looked more like a skirt.

But I can imagine that yellow shorts and blouse combo looking absolutely dire on someone else. Myself included! 😂

I still agree with the OP. A few years ago I worked with a woman in her early sixties who favoured shorter dresses, by which I mean knee length or a bit shorter. She was/is quite petite so I think felt/feels they suited her better than a longer length. But she felt too exposed in them now that she was older so she wore knee length leggings under them, you know the kind, just a bit longer than the dress. This was bit of a thing a few years back (at least here in Sweden) and esp popular with women of her age or a bit older. Anyway, it was just really obvious that she didn’t feel that her knees could be out for some reason. It would have looked more stylish if she had owned the look.

I don’t dress as much as put clothes on these days so I’m not judging, it’s just observation. However I think a massive part of it is that there are no clever/nice clothes to buy. I am not surprised (as someone approaching 50 who has been surprised by a massive menopausal belly 😒) that women opt for those slightly a-line looser jersey tops that don’t cling to the belly and go out and live their lives.

Also I agree with a PP that people who do t think style should be discussed perhaps are on the wrong board.

I think women can wear all manner of fabulous stuff and no one will notice the bingo wing or wrinkly knee

I think this is one of those things that people (mostly women) like to pretend is true but definitely isn’t.

The thing is women over the age of 40 have had a lifetime of conditioning from the media, TV, social circle, older relatives and everywhere else that the best thing they can dress in is something that's flattering. A la Trinny and Susannah and who could forget Heat magazine pointing out celebrity wrinkly knees with the circle of shame...

So it's hardly surprising that a substantial number of women consider their clothing in that way. I hope the younger generation not subjected to 90s/00s body shaming will take a different view. But we are all just products of our environment

Its because of the very dressed up ‘evening’ nature of the top and shoes I think. They don’t go with the kind of shorts that my teen lad wears for football.

People do of course notice wrinkles and bags, but maybe the point is who cares if they do? Some bodies are wrinkly, doesn’t make them lesser.
Maybe the more women over 50 or 60 wear what they like the more normalised it becomes. Women used to hide pregnancy as it was considered not quite nice, now they embrace it in Lycra.
A couple of pp have referenced mastectomy- they make one cup bras now so if you don’t want to wear a prosthetic you don’t have to, and I think that’s cool. I get why some women wouldn’t want to do that but it shouldn’t be a thing to be ashamed of.

I don't actually think this is specifically about age, although I agree it crystalises as you hit middle and old age.

I think it's more an inevitable outcome of the view that's widely championed on S&B that the secret of style is to choose clothes that camouflage your 'flaws'.

It's a view I believed in myself this until I hit my 60s and all those 'flaws' began to multiply and magnify. I thought about my future wardrobe, decided this was not how I wanted to spend my twilight years and got out.

But it still stays with you - to this very day I insist on sleeves.

100 percent. And I would say it's about wearing what suits you not following rules.

You need the right colours, shape and attitude.

That said, if you are a shortie, 3/4 length sleeves make your arms look longer than short sleeves that end half way between your elbow and shoulder.

I don't remember Audrey Hepburn looking frumpy in pedal pushers either.

Never occur to some that some people like clothes that make them feel good even if they don't look stylish to you ?

Feeling good may be a colour you like ( not one that "suits" you) or soft fabrics and elastic waists not tight and tough , or styles that cover because that's what you like, or just you cba to shop for clothes because you have better things to do with what's left of your life

But instead we have people trying to persuade others to change how they like to dress to fit some arbitrary design rules

I was with you until you posted those awful pictures!

However, I do get what you’re trying to say and I am guilty of it myself. My arms are crepey and my knees have seen better days and it does influence to an extent how I dress.

I know this comes from the messages I absorbed as a child; DG always being very vocal about covering up as you got older and my DM would often mention someone who was ‘mutton dressed as lamb’. It’s hard to shake off these beliefs but hopefully as PP has already said, this younger generation won’t be subject to such rigid rules and are learning to accept their bodies in all shapes, sizes and crepey skin!

The smartest and most stylish woman I have ever seen must have been 90+, she had the fragile look of extreme old age. She was wearing a long dark military style coat with frogging, flat boots and her hair slightly showing under a hat that nodded to the military look without being fancy dress in any way. It was the middle of winter in M&S and she managed to look incredible while dressed in an entirely practical fashion.

I won't wear the clothes that gave me joy when I was 18, black strapless fitted LBD and killer heels included, because I would not look good in them now and they would make me anything but joyful. That is a fact. I think style can evolve and change with you but at the end of the day, it should make you happy and there is no crime in wearing exactly what you want to and feel comfortable in (in all respects)

The world does not need to see my bingo wings. It would not make me happy. Covering them makes me happy.😂

I don't love the looks either. I have said they aren't my cup of tea. But they are examples of outfits that were clearly picked for style (even if not my style) over the others which are clearly picked to just cover bits up.
I didn't want to pick stunningly awesome designer outfits as people would have rightly pointed out that most people don't have massive budgets so I chose very standard outfits

@ForGreyKoala

Well would you please enlighted us as to just how you know that people are dressing to hide their flaws, as opposed to dressing in what they find comfortable, and what they actually think looks good on them.
I've already answered this. Because there are threads after threads where people are asking where to buy t-shirts with sleeves that will cover arms, cardigans long enough to cover butts etc.

Is it even a real S&B thread if it’s not full of people saying

Nobody cares what anyone else wears

I never notice what anyone else wears

you’re so judgy op, why would you even care

etc etc ad nauseum

OP I know exactly what you mean.

Seriously who goes around noticing or caring that someone has heavy arms or wrinkly knees. Does anyone really notice? I don't. If for some unlikely reason I did, I wouldn't care.
I'm more likely to notice if someone dressed really well

I don’t like any of the photos, op- to me they all look boring and I’d assumed the first set were the ones you were criticising.

I do however agree that dressing just to hide “flaws” is a bit of a shame, likewise only choosing clothes which are “flattering” (for which read “make you look thinner”). I’d far rather wear things that I feel express who I am (or on other occasions, that are comfortable and practical) than things that have only one benefit which is to make me look like I take up less space than I actually do.

I'll say it again, none of the styles is my style but they are generic styles I figured many people could relate to.
The first set appear to have been thought out the second set appear to be very much finding clothes that cover bits with no thought about how the outfit looks

It would have been ridiculous to post images like this because very few people would relate

The people in the last photo are the only ones who aren’t ‘hiding’ their knees.

They're all very coveted up though. You are disproving your own point tbh...

I have always covered up AND always expressed my own personal style. Ridiculous to think more skin on show = high fashion. It categorically doesn't. Look at love island as an example

Covered*

I’m a size 8/10 and I wear really loose baggy clothes. It’s a comfort thing, though I think I manage to make it look good. I often wear men’s t shirts and jumpers because I prefer the length and width. A lot of women’s tops, I try sizing up a lot but still feel uncomfortable in. Around the house, I also choose mens pjs and joggers over women’s.

But they are examples of outfits that were clearly picked for style (even if not my style) over the others which are clearly picked to just cover bits up.
Or they're just picked for comfort or because the wearer thinks they look nice. Just because you think they look less stylish doesn't mean they have chosen those because they think they have to cover up or conform to the alleged over 60s uniform. Maybe rather than feeling they have to hide themselves as you assert and that you think they are cowed by society's options maybe it's the opposite and they actually care less than the more styled ones.

'll say it again, none of the styles is my style but they are generic styles I figured many people could relate to.

I know what you said- I’m disagreeing with you.

Much prefer the ones you’ve just posted.