Am I the only one that hates women’s swimwear/beachwear options?

[Mudonstairs]

A total first world problem…Just wanting a rant really. I have booked my first holiday since becoming a mum and am finding the bikini options quite depressing. I’ve never liked one piece swim suits so bikini/tankini is really my only option. I just find them all so revealing and I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing them. The tankini options tend to look so plain and unattractive and I find they are marketed at the plus size market so unavailable in my size sometimes. I am finding most styles are either too revealing or on the other end of the scale just frumpy 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just want something pretty that covers the bottom a bit better. I don’t want to have shave or wax while I’m away for two weeks so knickers are a bit too revealing. I feel annoyed that men don’t have to decide whether they want their pubes on show!!!

I am late thirties, a size 8 but I do go up a size or two on bottoms to get more coverage. Another rant: why do the bottoms only cover half a bum cheek?! 🤬 perhaps a lot of retailers believe that women want to bare as much flesh as possible, especially if they are of a smaller frame??? I don’t get it.

I have bought a skirted bottom from M&S online (can’t remember which brand) which is ok and still feminine without looking frumpy. But I can’t find anything else remotely pretty but still not too much flesh on the bottom area on show. People have suggested sarongs/cover ups but honestly I just want something I can go in and out of a pool without too much faffing. I will have a two year old to run after!

Sorry, rant over! Does anyone else feel my pain?

I expect Land's End comes in the Boden frump category, but I don't care any more. The Tugless do not budge at all, and that works for me.

I feel your pain!

I really liked this from Amazon:

RXRXCOCO Tummy Control Swimsuits for Women Plus Size Bathing Suit High Waisted Swimwear https://amzn.eu/d/00PIiyLU

I have it in 2 colours and it's very flattering on

Terrible quality.
Bloody awful actually.

I ordered two sets waitied ages for their shipping from China, wanted to return both, and asked them for their returns stuff.
They gave me an address in the states and I'd have to pay for postage which would have cost more than the sets.
I tried a charge back through PayPal as in my opinion, what was advertised and what I received were not the same, at all.
Funnily enough, my PayPal was then hacked (IP in China funnily enough) and I was locked out for the entire duration that PayPal were asking for more details regarding my claim.
So I ended up with two sets of bikinis that looked like they had been knocked together by a 3 year old with a sewing machine and very out of pocket.

Try Landsend. They have a range of board shorts in different leg lengths.

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads @ToBeOrNotToBee

Thank you! I'll avoid- shame as I like the look a lot.

Funikta Fast Legs is a good (kneesuit) option if you do fitness swimming and want good coverage. Need to drop a size as it comes up big.
www.allensswimwear.co.uk/funkita-ladies-still-black-fast-legs-one-piece-black#147=273&gclid=Cj0KCQjwsuSzBhCLARIsAIcdLm6Fbcd9-CBaN-LGYWn4xU7bOCvoW0bAw4Isq1vi_dxzgj9C6veRbO8aAnAOEALw_wcB

Steer clear of other Funkita styles if you don't do revealing - some leave very little to the imagination!

Thanks for explaining. You can tell I don’t swim. When I use the term swimwear, what I really mean is running around after a toddler in a splash park while trying to relax with a cocktail (and failing) wear 😂

I wish someone would do nice womens swim shorts of a reasonable length. It seems to be accepted that men don’t want their butts hanging out but for some reason women are supposed to still like it. I’m a lumpy pear and it’s a pain in the ass.

I completely understand this issue. You find a lovely flattering costume, then it is made for somebody with no bum or half a crotch. They need to learn that one size really doesn't fit all, and being thin doesn't mean that you lack curves !
I got a lovely adjustable monokini style suit, coverage great until the back of the pants don't pull up enough. I must have returned about 15 costumes lately!

Yeah, maybe selfishly, I’m not too fussed about the top half because I’m not so self conscious about my top half. I have small boobs and quite small on top so will easily be able to find a top somewhere. It’s my bottom half I’m more self conscious of. I am pear shaped and a bikini wax will last me a few days if I’m lucky so I see it as a waste of money. I did say in my OP that I don’t want to have to shave or worry about the hair on my holiday and men don’t even have to worry about this is more my point with men vs women. Didn’t mean it to take such a feminist tone but it is what it is I guess ha!

I have several Esther Williams bikinis (she was the swimming version of Ginger Rogers) - massive 50's style pants but very comfy and I get lots of compliments wearing them
https://www.bettylicious.co.uk

Lands End mix and match are popular with my sporty teens, who prefer shorts to knickers

I feel this way about underwear in general.

I want to buy hi rise cotton Lycra shorts with a wide-ish waistband and gusset in a pack of five and not pay the earth.

Or packs of basic vests. Kids get packs everywhere, men get packs but not women.

Socks - why are our socks so bloody short? I want socks to wear with trousers in winter that don't leave a gap when you sit down, so now I wear men's socks.

I agree about swimwear. I hate hoiking my gusset out of my genitalia. 🤣

https://uk.seafolly.com/products/seafolly-collective-boyleg-one-piece-10316-942-black

This might work

Amazon have bikini shorts that you can leave on to go in the water.

I wish they'd do high leg combined with high waist - prevents your arse looking massive.

Instead you get high waist and low leg, meaning your arse looks the size of Brazil.

I’ve had loads of swim shorts for this reason. Have you looked a surfing brand swimwear designed for people being active? I have Roxy shorts which are great and then I just wear a bikini top.

I really struggled to find a tankini this year. Lots of one pieces and bikinis but very little choice in tankinis.

I don’t like swimming costumes in general and it’s a large part of why I don’t go swimming. It’s weird because I think people would think I’m ashamed of my body or have low self esteem but that’s not true. I like my body and don’t have hang ups about undressing at home - I just don’t like being ‘on display’ at the swimming pool. I’m also hairy and find it a huge faff to try to make sure my bikini line looks acceptable. I will check out the links others have given on this thread as ideally I’d like to wear more of a t-shirt and shorts or leggings style swim suit.

Surf gear tends to provide more coverage. I’ve seen plenty of rash vets and longer shorts and swim leggings for more bottom half coverage.

I am also saying Lands End - great selection, mix and match in the bikinis and the ones I have a re good quality.

Last year I bought a few (lot of) swim suits as the idea of a bikini didn't appeal. Unfortunately I've either grown or they've got shorter in the body as only one fitted me without cutting me in half vertically. A second emergency purchase fitted me after I'd lost weight. I'm the only person who can go on an all inclusive and lose weight.

I've been prepared and have bought a bikini.

I also found the management of bikinis/holidays and pubic hair to be a proper pain in the bum when I was younger. I got laser hair removal in the area and it completely solved that headache. I’d really recommend looking into it. You’ll never need to wax again!

I appreciate this only addresses one of the issues you have raised but please take this in the spirit intended - a helpful suggestion hopefully.

Sweaty Betty shorts legs, no cut outs.

Deakin and Blue strive to make flattering but functional and fashionable swimwear.

I absolutely agree with you, OP. It enrages me that women have to have their bums hanging out as a standard thing for swimwear. As you say, it's totally accepted that men have looser short style items - imagine if men's swimwear was also an almost thong-style pair of knickers! I HATE that women have to show so much skin.