Help me find a perfect Step-Mother of the Groom outfit

[Wineisalwaysagoodidea]

The wedding will be held this coming winter. I am struggling to find something that is elegant but not frumpy - I am mid 40's (and would describe myself as quite stylish). Size 10. 5'9", dark haired. Absolutely want to avoid looking like I am trying to upstage his mother. HELP! Please...

There's the bonus of upstaging almost everyone in an outfit that can't actually be accused of being deliberately upstaging too.

A drama queen who likes everything to be about her. @Wineisalwaysagoodidea which she is probably going to do regardless. trust your instincts, dress how you wish and feel comfortable in.

You'll have to up your budget a bit but I was in your position last year and bought an incredible understated dark olive green Grecian style dress from Bottega Veneta. They change it slightly every season. It's understated but pure class.

To be honest I'm never sure what older women wear because my mum (late 70s) mainly wears AC/DC tshirts and jeans.

I'm pleased to hear we won't age into some of these options (shudder).

I guess you can conclude that each individual ‘older woman’ wears whatever suits her particular style?

I'm often aghast at the kind of shockers us older women are fobbed off with on this board. However I'm going to stick my neck out for Shibumi. I'm not a fan of most of the jackets but I think some of their coats are really quite interesting, although the styling can be dire. I'm also a bit of a pushover for a fancy waistcoat.

I’m not sure if people have missed that the OP is mid 40s. Way too young for a MOG style outfit. At your age/ size I’d just wear something lovely that I liked. And that budget will get you something very lovely.

Shibumi have stunning jackets you could team up with something plain? And you don't have to be older to wear their clothes! Even though an earlier post may imply such (they also have lovely wraps etc).

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When I was SM of the groom I had exactly the same concerns as you.

I checked what Mother of the groom was wearing so I didn’t end up wearing same / similar.

She was wearing a flowery dress, so I wore a plain jumpsuit.

The Shibumi coats are indeed much nicer than the jackets. Not dissimilar to the long silk jackets here.

https://www.jasperconran.com/products/edie-silk-full-skirt-shirt-dress?currency=GBP&variant=44175137800426&stkn=45f773f19ee5&gadsource=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwps-zBhAiEiwALwsVYYFgSj6q64gzgnheZUTSF42Ycybp0PiUDXxcb2wWhIttPVsicY3OBoCuscQAvD_BwE

I love Costarellos. They have the most amazing customer service and if you find a dress style you like they will custom make it for you if not in stock and will allow you to customise it at no extra cost - I choose a style and they let me pick from a range of colours

costarellos.com/collections/dresses/products/cavana-lurex-georgette-dress-lake-green

costarellos.com/collections/dresses/products/triss-silk-blend-jersey-dress-bronze

www.mytheresa.com/gb/en/women/costarellos-brennie-iridescent-georgette-gown-green-p00705818

This comes in lots of colours

www.temperleylondon.com/products/clove-velvet-jacket-fig

Just gorgeous!

@HolidayHappy123 those clothes seem to shout rather loudly for someone who wants a low key outfit? Apart from perhaps one blouse and a pair of black trousers I don’t see how they meet the brief for this particular wearer at this particular event?

(They might be perfect for an occasion when the OP actually wants to draw attention to herself.)

Well that’s awkward… I wore one of the shibumi silk slip dresses to a wedding only last week. I’m 30. Can’t say I ever remember the queen mother rocking one of those…

Red? I thought she didn't want to stand out as it were ?

Also comes in green and blue.

@FKAT

Your mum sounds cool!

I’d go with a sleeveless midi length dress with matching jacket (maybe 3/4 length sleeve) that you can take off for dancing. Plain, one colour, no prints so you don’t stand out in photos. Maybe a dark grey or navy, which you could then wear many other times. If you can, try to find out what colour the MoG is wearing so you don’t accidentally pick the same one! You can always add a bit of flair with a fabulous pair of shoes, which won’t show much in photos. Can also bring along a lovely wrap to wear with the sleeveless dress during the reception and dancing if it’s cold to add some more interest and colour.

My stepmum wore a gorgeous jewel coloured long sort of velour dress for our wedding (I think she looked better than my mum but my mum didn't so no issue - and they got on) Perhaps look at Sahara London?

When I was in the same position as you, I found the Spanis designer’s dresses and mob outfits just that bit less formal.

Carla Ruiz ( some here but not the Winter collection yet), Sonia Pena.

https://theweddingshop.uk/product-category/mother-of-bride/carla-ruiz/

https://www.jjshouse.com/a-line-square-asymmetrical-chiffon-mother-of-the-bride-dress-with-beading-sequins-pleated-008269033-g269033?currency=GBP&utm_term=269033&utm_size=10&country=GB&country=GB&currency=GBP&ggntk=x&ggkey=&ggtgt=8&ggplm=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwydSzBhBOEiwAj0XN4PqMJRVbbKdEKP8JoJYgAq7Rae4ILTyRK-HV7BsA5es7DHr6OaRniBoCuV0QAvD_BwE#/