Help me find a perfect Step-Mother of the Groom outfit

[Wineisalwaysagoodidea]

The wedding will be held this coming winter. I am struggling to find something that is elegant but not frumpy - I am mid 40's (and would describe myself as quite stylish). Size 10. 5'9", dark haired. Absolutely want to avoid looking like I am trying to upstage his mother. HELP! Please...

Kinda waiting for the MOG to turn up on S&B with three times the budget of her rival. It sounds as if her style is modestly Spartan - so I’m getting in first with this:

https://veronicadepiante.com/products/riya-dress-in-washed-silk-plum-1

Oh wow !!

Yup!

@Wineisalwaysagoodidea counters with either:

I am quite a few years younger

or

Definitely not upstaging anyone

Oh good call on Horror Vacui

This one looks a bit Nanny McFee to me.

Wear a dress suit, similar to a Chanel one. You can't go wrong with that and won't be accused of upstaging anyone

You’re looking at the wrong time of year mate

Lol at this

@Elsbetka and @FKAT - whole wedding will be held in a country hotel. Nice place but not OTT. My style is generally classic, and I think the layered approach would be better as likely to be warmer in the evening when everyone is dancing.
@Binman, I've given up trying to get on with her. I was nothing to do with their divorce, she had an affair and left but that's not stopped her just being downright nasty and unkind at times over the years. I suspect she's quite an insecure individual and as I respect that she's the mother of the groom, I don't want to be accused of being showy.
@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle - agree it's a big budget, I won't necessarily spend it, but as a classic dresser, I can have pieces in my wardrobe for years and years, so if it's something I love then I will spend it. The best one I've seen so far is £130 though, even better!

@Johnhasalongmoustache Totally agree, however, I have been looking for months and nothing has really jumped out at me.

I was going to suggest Suzannah of London - I wore one of their dresses for my daughter's wedding and was really happy with it, then I looked and saw how their prices have increased. Anyway, this is a bit over budget so is probably not at all helpful https://www.suzannah.com/collections/dresses/products/seattle-dress-stretch-crepe-magenta

Maybe have a look at this website for some inspiration? They offer MOB/G outfits but market themselves as being suitable for a number of occasions. They will make outfits in the colours of your choice so that the clothes are smart, classic but not necessarily MOB/G. I imagine it’s out of budget to have something made for you. But it may give you some ideas on the sort of silhouette you’re looking to achieve. I’ve linked to a coat / shift dress combi in 2 different colours to illustrate what they mean.

https://www.joyceyoungcollections.co.uk/collections/couture-occasion-wear/wool-crepe-coat-over-corded-metallic-lace-dress/

Suzannah London is a good shout. What about Anthropology? Nigel Rayment has a good selection- the Badgley Mishkas are fab

Appreciate you all - have so many avenues to check out now. I really couldn't think before!

@Wineisalwaysagoodidea don't wear red then if you don't want to attract attention to yourself.

@Wineisalwaysagoodidea you may find something on this site?

https://www.shibumistyle.com/collections/juna-jackets

I second what @beetr00 said - Shibumi is a hell of a shout - their maxi coats are to die for and can be really statement in a not overly showy way if that makes sense?

I think you can't go far wrong with a classic tailored look - a shift with a blazer or a spectacular shawl

This is a good idea, although I might be inclined to go for a more modern oversized trouser suit in a bright colour. Effortless, and will likely emphasise that you're younger and more stylish then MoG without trying...

Shift with a blazer and Shibumi are the wrong direction IMO... unless you want to look like the Queen Mother.

LK Bennett
Me+Em
The Fold

@innerdesign "Shift with a blazer and Shibumi are the wrong direction IMO... unless you want to look like the Queen Mother"

Heaven forfend 😉😂

I love this! As a tall slimmish brunette of similar vintage to OP, I can confirm I would look incredible in it. 😁Unfortunately DS shows no signs of settling down yet (year 5).

To me Shibumi and a lot of the suggestions here do not account for the OP being mid-40s, not mid-70s.

I would go for a trouser suit, can be effortless and very useful for the future, then you can take the jacket off for the evening event (silk t-shirt or maybe thin cashmere if you feel the cold). Maybe also look at The Fold?

@Wineisalwaysagoodidea Stretch your budget just a little and catch yourself a bargain - both pieces only available in an 8, but you’d look quietly serious and amazing:

https://veronicadepiante.com/products/stephanie-jacket-in-velvet-gunmetal-1

The Shibumi / MoG/MoB stuff is awful (usual disclaimer, all subjective/ personal taste etc,etc)

Why do you think it becomes not awful if you're over 70? I'll get back to you if I have a Damascene conversion in 5 years)