Fat girl summer - let's slay 💅

[Lwrenn]

So, for those of us who are chunky yet funky, what's the plan ladies?

Shall we give no fucks and wear nice comfy summery clothes or do we worry about keeping every inch of us covered head to toe in black until we sweat so hard we melt? What's the plan?

Currently a size 20/22 myself, unlikely to get down to a magical size 14 by July so I'm looking at the nice comfy looking linen pants, few maxi dresses, shorts because I'm a wee chubby pale rebel and to really go wild a jumpsuit or two.

Simply be has some lovely things at the moment including shoes, asos curve is looking alright and vinted is my best pal.

I'm 35 for a few more months and don't want to have another summer in my 30s hating my body, so this year I'm going to embrace it. Anyone with me?

avoid shein. It looks nice in the photos but the fabric is awful and you’ll sweat like anything in them. The fit is awful too

Can I join too please? I’m 48, fat and knackered!! Size 22 with a big IBS tummy and an apron at the bottom. A ‘B belly’ if you will.

I’m getting better but due to having ME and fibro, I live in the same stretchy vests from next and stretchy wide leg trousers for comfort. And I look the same most days. I need to get away from that boring uniform look.

I’m actually better at not giving a chuff what anyone thinks but I still struggle with clothes. I’m probably better in the summer oddly. In the winter I like a jeans, t shirt and blazer combination but I always think it makes me look even bigger than I am.

To make it worse, my husband has lost lots of weight due to being diagnosed with T2 diabetes and getting fitter/eating better. Obviously it’s great for him and I’m pleased he’s got it under control but I constantly compare my bigness with his shrinking body and of course I never fare well.

I’ve been looking at the Manners London dress again as I’ve had my eye on it for ages. I wish I’d got it earlier as it was £125 at the beginning of the year!

Thanks OP for starting the thread. It’s a refreshing change for MN. 🥰

The actress Keira Knightley said something so interesting: she said that cameras favour skinny bodies, but that the images do not reflect reality. I also think that in our minds we are always comparing ourselves with an ideal and when we see images of ourselves we might seem miles and miles from that. My solution is to teach myself to love how I look right now or just avoid cameras and mirrors and focus on how I feel.

@Lwrenn Could you help me, please? I've been browsing the Manners site and am thinking of taking the plunge for an Asri dress. I'm 5' 6" and a size 24. Should I go for the XL or the XXL? Thanks for your advice.

This is a really lovely thread. I felt sweaty and anxious just sharing that I'm a size 24 and feel ashamed that I've let myself get so big. However, I'm trying to update my wardrobe with lovely things that I feel good in rather than just any old baggy cheap thing. I work to earn money and deserve to spend it on myself. (If I keep telling myself that regularly it will sink in.......).

Do you think I could get away with wearing this as a dress in the interests of feeling cool comfortable and wafty to a summer family BBQ with nude chub rubs on or do you think it is likely to be see through and definitely looks like a swimsuit honestly? I am getting desperate now.

https://www.jdwilliams.co.uk/shop/crinkle-kaftan-overhead-midi-dress/yc986/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=1010

@BollockstoThis1
I would absolutely wear that dress - I think the print on it is lovely. I've seen that myself previously. However - a lot of the larger sizes are sold out.

But just read the reviews and people are saying order a size or two smaller so you may be OK!

I think that is perfect for a bbq @BollockstoThis1 it looks like it will be cool too.

I've never used the manners site so I'm not sure about the sizing, but the clothes are so beautiful! I'd never heard of it until this thread!

Please don't feel that way about yourself, you deserve all the loveliness in the world, as you say you're working hard to earn the cash, you 100% should enjoy the clothes you wear. The reality is, some of us won't ever get to the size we so covet, what do we do in the mean time? Put ourselves in a mental prison due to a bit of weight? Sure we all know being big isn't ideal for us but making yourself sick with anxiety and succumbing to the negative thoughts your body doesn't deserve to be dressed nicely etc isn't ideal either.

And we shouldn't be dressing for anyone but ourselves.

I googled the lass that's been mentioned on this thread, Laura Adlington, she really dresses beautifully and looks great. She's about a size 24/26 I think and you know what, she's a perfect example of that saying, "man makes the clothes, not clothes make the man" and really that's true.

(This has been my favourite thread I've started since my Christmas food one, which may have contributed somewhat to being a wee bit bigger than I'd planned to be this year 😂)

The B belly is an absolute fucker! I have that if my belly flares up with my IBS too, (maybe ibs should stand for I've (a) B stomach!😂) does yours seem to go up and down with swelling depending on what you've eaten? Do you know what triggers mine and this is so weird, black pepper makes my top B swell, it's worse after a crack of black pepper that it is after anything else.

I'm glad this thread has taken off. Sad actually to think that we'd have all just felt a bit more anxious without the chatting here, almost giving each other permission to allow some excitement about summer!

Chatting to other lasses will always be my favourite thing about the Internet, nobody cheers you on more than a stranger 😂

I'm an apple shape. So many of the styles are for pears! I've gotten loads of inspiration from this woman on YouTube who is an apple but she dresses really well I think. If u want some inspiration check her out her channel is "I'm just me Marleen". I don't know her at all just like watching her and she's given me confidence to not always be hiding under baggy shapeless clothes

I’d never have thought of black pepper. Though I don’t use it that much. Pretty much anything sets me off these days!😩 The B belly means I can’t wear a lot of the dresses around at the minute because they’re empire line and they make me look pregnant when they go in under the boobs.

I have a long waist too so I need things to be a bit longer on the top. I’m 5’6” and have a long body and short legs!

I did take up sewing with the idea of making my own wardbrobe. I’ve made a couple of things but, although I’m ok at the construction, fitting it to my own body is so difficult.

I follow a few fat positive people on socials, including Marleen who @spanieleyes22 mentions and she is good! Laura Adlington is just amazing too.

One issue I have is even though I see other fat people looking fantastic, I can’t feel the same about me. Like people on SM always have nice hair, maybe a tan, etc etc and I’m just pasty and tired looking!😂

@Lwrenn Thank you for your kind words. It's really sweet of you to take the time to reply. Rationally, I know that I am more than just the numbers on the scale but it's such a hard mindset to shake off. The irony is that I wouldn't judge or be harsh to someone purely on their appearance. So why oh why do I do it to myself?? Aaargh!!! And breathe....... I've just googled Laura Adlington and will have a good read through her recommendations for where to get clothes. I think nothing of spending £90 on a hoodie for my DD (well, not exactly nothing, but you get the drift!) so should treat myself as nicely.

@RobinEllacotStrike I realise it's you who posted about the Manners 'Asri' dresses. What is their sizing like? Not sure whether to go for the XL or the XXL. Thanks for your advice.

I am a size 18 /20 ,I just love dresses (esp sundresses) and loose tops over cotton trousers ,Wear what you like I say .As above PP says everyone is more worried about how they look! As long as you are comfy thats all that matters

Thanks for the Marleen suggestion, her middle looks quite a lot like mine so some good inspiration. Looking back through her posts says 2 main things to me - always tuck tops in and buy some new belts!

@Hecatoncheires I guess it depends on the garment.
For the fit and flare dress its all about the bust fit. I'm a 22 in the bust usually and a size XL fits me well. Its better to be on the snug size (beleive in the stratch) than too loose.

https://www.mannersldn.com/collections/dresses/products/asri-dress-petit-in-black

She does note this dress sizes big. I the tops I am more of an XXL

@RobinEllacotStrike Thanks for coming back to me. I think the Mumsnetter have bought the stock out as there are few left now! Only the size XXL in regular. Maybe I'll try the Izra neckline. I'm still sceptical about the lack of need for a bra. Mine are so far south that they could pick up a penguin..... But would be delighted to be proved wrong.

This is a lovely thread, and OP, you sound wonderful!

I've been very slim most of my life, but post lots of babies, I'm now a size 16, but I have lots of weight on my tummy. I have diastasis recti, an apron belly, and fibroids, all of which make me look varying stages of pregnant, depending on bloat! I'm current doing intermittent fasting, which I've only just started, but it seems to be helping with the bloat. I have loads of gorgeous clothes, most of which I try on, feel rubbish, and throw them back in the wardrobe. I'm going to try to change my attitude!

I was at an event yesterday in the sun, and everyone was in beautiful summer dresses. Hand on heart, I didn't think the slimmer women looked better than the larger women. Summer dresses suit everyone I think. And like a pp, I also think that hiding under baggy layers can be counter productive, and can make people look bigger than they actually are. My best friend is a size 24. She wore something more fitting for a wedding recently. I honestly thought she had dropped a few dress sizes. She hadn't at all! She just covers up usually.

I look around me and see all these people of all sizes looking fabulous, and I wish I could be less critical about myself!

I am loving the manners London website. Women with tummies and lumps and bumps! Even the slimmest women, they’re never normally allowed sticky out bits when modelling!

I tried on my new shorts today, I wanted baggy, but they are tight, so I wasn't sure i'd keep them, but they are super comfy so decided to give them a chance. Also I got the wirapa cycling short style knickers, they are lovely, soft and fit really well.

Exuse the pj top and slippers😂

Best thread I've read on mumsnet in a long time, thanks OP for starting it.
Any recommendations for a decent strapless bra??? It seems the makers of bras think if your fat you want to squash down your boobs, no thanks i want to make the most of them & push them up under my chin if possible:-)

Finally a style thread for me, i’m only mid 20s but after having my child and some health difficulties am now a size 16 after always being a size 8. I’m really struggling with what to wear and how to hid my muffin tops most of my weight seems to have gone to there and my thighs. I don’t want to spend summer sweating and hiding but honestly no clue what to wear with my size

I WISH my budget stretched that far (Asri dress) 😭Maybe next month

I hear you. Makes you wonder how their mother behaved, doesn't it?

I feel ok when I go out until I see my reflection in a window or a picture that one of the kids has taken then I feel disgusted.

Same. Then when you return home and look in the mirror you're back to looking okay again. What IS THAT all about??