Underwear and Wedding outfit if overweight - just want to cry

[WeddingNight]

I’ve been unwell for a while and gained a lot of weight. My normal is 160lbs and I’m currently 190lbs. I’m 5 foot 8 and 25yo usually wear anywhere between a 14 and an 18 but usually 14 on the bottom and 16 on the top. I’m getting married next month and just want to call it all off.

I hate the way I look and don’t feel happy in anything. Now I’m feeling better I’m obviously making changes to my routine to help me lose weight but it won’t be fast enough for the wedding.

I was thinking some flattering, slightly special underwear may help (nothing OTT, no extra holes or anything) but have no idea where to look. Current bras are 32HH and fit quite well but are plain.

Additionally any advice for dresses? I’m not going for traditional and was considering something like this… https://www.phase-eight.com/product/julissa-ruffle-wrap-midi-dress-22180560008.html. Maybe in the green..
Budget of £500 ish. I’d do anything to feel slightly better

I’d second Rigby and Peller if you have the budget and can reach a store. When I wore my new R&P bra everyone thought I’d lost loads of weight .. It was just that everything was better positioned! A definite uplift in body and spirit and one that you can continue wearing after the wedding.

While the bridal dresses are significantly above budget her stuff is fire and made to be flattering to different body types. It seems she’s got ready to wear collection in Harrods now and the dresses are in different colours so could be reworn and will probably be cheaper. If you’re near London maybe you should have a look.

I take your point but the objection to polyester, dipped hem, waterfall wrap dresses has nothing to do with being 25 !

The dress is lovely but I think you need to get a bra that lifts your boobs up more so your waist doesn't disappear.

Bravissimo for a bra. For a dress it's trickier, most don't accommodate the larger sizes well (I'm in your situation but have a few months on my side). Have you tried any more traditional dresses? I was very surprised how flattering they were - I haven't bought yet but I tried on and was amazed, took many pounds off me! Wed 2 be were lovely in store too, not too expensive (£600 for the ones I liked, they had cheaper), friendly and you can take away the same day.

Otherwise try monsoon, book an appointment at a larger John Lewis or other department store?

I'd also look at ever pretty - do read the small print and sizing as returns are tricky but they show plus size models for many of their dresses which is so useful when like me you aren't a size 8! I've bought from them for my DD's but not myself

Have a look at here too. Now bear with it, in and amongst dresses that are questionable there are some gems. Many are pictured on plus size models, you just have to click a view all and scroll.

https://www.tadashishoji.com/shop/dresses?product_list_limit=all

They have quite a few variations of this one.

https://www.tadashishoji.com/copley-shoulder-drape-velvet-gown-plus-size

Not necessarily for under a dress but if you wanted some wedding night lingerie to change into, this is so flattering
I'm a size 18 and happy to post a pic if you want to see it on someone bigger, it makes me feel amazing and I bought it in 2 colours

www.curvykate.com/products/scantilly-indulgence-stretch-lace-body-ivory

If you like the teal colour but want a slightly more flattering shape then I find Scarlett and Jo very flattering and get lots of compliments when I wear dresses from them. I have big boobs and mainly that's what people see when I wear the dresses rather than the bits Od rather they didn't want to see!

www.scarlettandjo.com/collections/plus-size-dresses/products/isabelle-teal-float-sleeve-maxi-dress?variant=47050897129780

I think a sweetheart neckline would work best for you.

Have you thought about looking at prom dress shops? Quite a lot of wedding shops do prom dresses too so they aren't traditional bridal dresses but still have a really strong foundation to give a lovely shape. You'd need to buy off the beg from the sample sales at this stage I would think to avoid any long order lead times but would still have time for some alterations to get the fit perfect.

I agree that some new bras would be a cracking idea. Something with some side support. Bra style though, is ultimately going to be affected by which style dress you pick as to whether you need something strapless/multiway/plunge/balconette.

You're right about sweetheart/ wrapped bodice necklines. I prefer the sleeve style on these, but good shout.

Scarlet and Jo

Scarlet and Jo

Thanks everyone! Lots to look at. I don’t need to worry about photos as I won’t be in any as that’s my main wish. I also won’t be doing hair, nails, make up etc. I’d quite like it if it was a dress I could wear again (e.g. out for dinner)

No @mitogoshi I haven’t tried any of the traditional styles. I really don’t want a dress I can’t wear again and I don’t like white or the symbolism behind it. I just want to day to be as low key as possible, just a case of getting through it

Just to add I do have the budget to spend more than £500 if it was the most perfect dress. I could stretch to £2k and beyond but I just don’t want to :( especially for one wear. We aren’t doing flowers or anything either.

My partners outfit was £1100 but they’re pieces he can wear again

My plan is definitely to lose weight! I have been back up to walking around 11 miles a day already and don’t eat much at all actually usually around 1200.

I have an awful relationship with food and always have done so was trying to stop myself from becoming obsessed with food. For my teens and early 20s I actually sat around 100lbs so I’m almost double what I used to be. I know in the past I have managed 27lbs in the time I have by being very very strict. Maybe that is the secret? And sort out mindset after.. But then I wanted to get better this time and do it properly. It all came around so fast.

A few people have suggested just to lose weight so I think I will try that! Then take a day off work and pop to John Lewis or somewhere and pick a dress the day before?

Just to add the extra exercise is a very new thing and I have lost weight. Before this I was sedentary due to being unwell… so if I stick as I am I may lose more. I don’t drink alcohol anyway

The Phase Eight Kallie jumpsuit is fab in big and small sizes.

I have it in 20 and 18 and always feels good in it.

www.phase-eight.com/product/kallie-belted-jumpsuit-222214693.html#q=Kallie&is=true&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=222214693&pos=2

This is nice

gb.marinarinaldi.com/p-3221134106001-ancora-water

I was your size ( recently lost weight) and this shape of dress was the most flattering on me, it created more of a waist because it skimmed over everything.

Not this dress as they don't have your size!

https://www.ghost.co.uk/birdie-blue-gingham-crepe-midi-dress-d06g053-z99?pk_cid=7&pk_keyword=5059814181974&pk_medium=multifeeds&pk_campaign=FacebookUK&pk_source=FacebookUK&pk_content=ClothingAccessoriesClothingDresses&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=dpa&utm_campaign=remarketing&fbclid=IwAR0g1XqRqPayayE8-vLsnxLTAHzvlB0iQc6dlSz_Utumh0DTPDmOHAt1Rms_aem_AZBLGCa3TvnXnChlqK3AN-zEjBOsISzfbX2JQY4V9L3nNclZsuCkGjkZ2GwHKgMtYBVD1cySDhMIUVdFW6886Ut9

Thank you @kistanbul but we aren’t having any guests. I don’t want anyone to see me so we are just doing the legal bit. I just wanted to try and feel a bit nicer for myself, I don’t want the extra pressure of others

Hi sorry to hear your struggling....have a look at Bra-stop they cater for larger breasted ladies and have lovely lingerie sets at very reasonable prices xxx

I quite like the Florence waterfall one but I was thinking of maybe going for something bright? Like a purple or a pink but maybe something dark would be better. Argh I can’t decide! I will likely just wear trainers though so don’t want anything too too dressy

Just as an aside to the dress search, which I hope goes well. I highly recommend the book intuitive eating. I was able to heal my relationship with food thanks to that book and overcome a binge eating disorder.

I wore this in purple pink stripes to a wedding in September.. I'm size 14-18 36gg (weight varies with health) and I absolutely loved it. I wore it with a leather jacket and pink dm boots. I'm 5 6 and it was floor length on me. I added a black belt under the bust. So many compliments. Ill try add a photo later. Very very flattering but was wary as people complain about polyester. It was a fantastic choice though. Love it and will wear it again

Thank you @Nicole1111 I will definitely look at it. I don’t think I have an issue with binge eating, more the opposite. My ‘healthy’ was 160 when I feel like I was the best mentally. My normal is to slip close to the 100lb range. Unfortunately the illness causing me to gain weight is completely unrelated and unexpected. A physical injury that has taken almost a year to heal.