What do fat, middle aged women wear nowadays?!

[TwoBigNoisyBoys]

Sigh. I’m currently trying to lose weight, and I have a fair way to go. I’m 50, 5’2”, and around a size 18. Im not in the market for buying new clothes JUST yet…I’d like to drop a dress size first, and I have a wardrobe fit to burst, so that needs sorting. But I feel like I’ve lost my way with regards to fashion, and what even suits me any more. I’ve spent the last couple of years in leggings - I gained around 2/2.5 stone during year-long breast cancer treatment (which ended 14 months ago) and I’m only just starting to feel a bit more normal! As I worked from home then, I was fine to wear comfies, but I recently started a new job and so I’m out and about a lot more! Because I haven’t bought clothes (other than supermarket dresses) for a few years now, I was wondering where do you all get your inspiration and what are you all wearing that makes you feel fabulous?!

Regarding what I like…I used to wear a lot of dresses, boots, leather jackets, jeans, nice tops 😁 and heels…but my old clothes don’t fit me anymore and I don’t even know what suits me! Any ideas for where to get ideas from, please? TIA ☺️

Well done on getting through your treatment and hope you will feel great again soon. ⭐

I've tried all sorts trying to find my style after dc and feeling like I should dress more like a grown up I ended up looking like I was dressing up as someone else. I've realised I'm drawn to the kind of jeans and a top outfits I loved as a teenager. I've bought some wide leg jeans and casual tshirts in nice fabrics and a new jacket and feel myself again. Think about some of your favourite styles that you felt comfortable wearing and choose a nice version of that for your new clothes.

I'm the same height, almost the same age as you. I would recommend looking at Instagram/Pinterest for ideas. I'd also recommend updating your wardrobe before weight loss. Looking and feeling better helps, in my opinion.

I'm 5'3" and a busty 16. I get most of my style inspo from Instagram. I follow accounts like dressedtothemax, fabfatand40plus, inpolife, rantsandbigpants who are all bigger but have, imo, a good sense of style.

Hey, I am 5.2 and 57 years young, worked in fashion for over 35 years as a designer for major brands, now branching as a wardeobe stylist this year. . Best advice you cannot go wrong with ALL things classic hands down. The french women do it well. As we age only good quality fabrics will do. Experiment with 2nd hand clothes. Bois cut skirts, and a tshirt, classic jackets. Trench coats. Go for neutrals and classic colours. Use pops of color in accessories and as for make up a good Lipstick is your weapon for a beautiful signature finish. Good luck x

Thanks for all your replies so far…I’ll have a look on Instagram as a starting point I think.

I just feel like I don’t even know what I want to look like anymore?!

French women (especially older ones) do not tend to be carrying much extra weight. The older women also tend to dress very conservatively, often in dark colours and darker neutrals, and can look downright dowdy IME.
And a trench coat! At 5'4" and a size 16-18 I look like a sack of potatoes tied up with string in one of those. They're great for the tall and willowy, of course, but for the vertically challenged and lumpy like me, not so much.

You could look at things you love instead of focussing on what you want to look like. Something in a fabric, print or colour you love.

A great pair of shoes can make me feel good, but with clothes I tend to look for things that hide my shape, whereas I should wear clothes that make me feel joyful.

I stopped following the 'fat and forty' types as I just find them all a bit meh . I like Trinny. She's bonkers and not at all my size/shape/budget but, she does do some clever stuff with clothing and proportions. Plus, she's 60, and looks amazing.
Over time I've created a capsule wardrobe, where everything can be mix and matched. Mostly in monochrome, with animal print (I'm not really a print/floral) person. I find sticking to this helps, I know whatever I pull out of the wardrobe looks OK
I also recommend culling everything g that doesn't feel like you anymore, doesn't fit, you don't like. Donate/sell and rud yourself of the image you don't want, it might be really obvious then what you do want.

Well today I'm in jeans, trainers and a Snoopy sweatshirt for a day out with the grandkids.
At work tomorrow I will be in work smart, so probably dress and jacket with ankle boots.
Basically I wear what I want for the occasion!

Instagram is great,.I had lost my way a bit with clothes as my job changed and I didn't need to wear such formal things and my out of work clothes were just boring. I dont follow things to the letter but it does give me ideas about how I could wear what I like but differently

Wear whatever the hell you like OP ❤️❤️
Don’t hide your body in clothes you don’t like because you’ve gained weight. Wear what makes you happy. I totally agree about Instagram there’s a couple I love.

itscourtneyhamilton and
itslaurensmithy

not older ladies but both have such great fashion ideas. One is size 14/16 ish and the other size 20 ish. Both totally gorgeous!

I actually think a trenchcoat is brilliant on me, and I'm a noticeably overweight apple shape. The secret is to WEAR IT OPEN and never do it up. Knot the belt at the back to stop it trailing around. It makes a very stylish and flattering layer.

I wasted decades avoiding trenchcoats because they looked so terrible on me when buttoned and belted.

I think its going to depend alot on your body shape. An apple will suit different things then an hourglass.
Although generally you could start with well cut trousers/jeans/skirts and classic styles of tops in whatever neutrals you like and build up from there.

I agree to take inspiration from Pinterest and Instagram, find someone with a style you like and similar shape and make a Pinterest board of looks. Then buy stuff maybe from vinted using the proceeds of stuff you sell on there that you don't want any more.

Once you get going and settle into your own style you can buy more expensive items if you want to.

Finding the colours that you like is a great place to start in my opinion, this will become obvious if you have a Pinterest board with your fave looks on it.

Personally I have stopped trying to look thinner, sexy or fashionable. I like to focus on colour and interesting shapes, nice fabrics and fun. I have gone from wanting to wear my PJs all day to being really excited to get dressed every day, even if I'm not leaving the house, and I feel way happier.

Try going to a cafe and people watching to see whose looks you like.

I like Trinny. She's bonkers

You’re not kidding! I just went to look on Instagram, there’s no way I could get away with any of her outfits in my small town, yet she looks really good in them. I do now have a microneedle in my basket though.

I really prefer the creative/bonkers vibe at this age. I agree that the classic French vibe doesn’t work on fat women - I just look like a drab undertaker. I’ve also returned to wearing the stuff I wore in the 90s - loads is back in fashion and my young adult dc always compliment me and steal my clothes. Currently in a floral miniskirt and red off the shoulder jumper with thick wool tights. Feel myself and happy. :)

Yeah that’s exactly the issue…whilst I agree that the classic styles look great on some, whenever I’ve ventured anywhere near that look I just look drab and dowdy. I don’t seem to have that finesse (or body shape!) to carry it off 🙈

Re my body shape…I’m not an Apple, as my legs are chunky. When I’m slimmer, I’m curvy, with big boobs and hips and a smaller waist, but my waist has spread now so I’m not really any shape now. And the big boobs juts give me a matronly look now. Sigh.

I’ve got a day off today. So I’m going to tackle the WARDROBE. I feel like I’m being berated every time I open it by the hordes of clothes that don’t fit me (and probably never will again!!) so I’ve decided…a huge sort out today, into 3 piles…
Keep - self explanatory 😂
On hold - the things that don’t fit me but I hope will in a few months, or the things that need adjusting (I was a seamstress in a former life so this isn’t an issue)
Dump - the things that are going to the clothes bank.

Having a wardrobe full of clothes I don’t/can’t wear is weirdly demoralising . By the end of today they will be sorted ot gone, I’m sure that’ll make me feel better 🥰

thanks so much everyone xx

@WishIMite thats what I plan to do, I think. Your outfit sounds great, and exactly the sort of thing I used to wear. Think I need a confidence reset!!

I've bought a few things from here thisisunfolded.com/collections/collection-09 as it's ethically made and they model the clothes on a variety of ages and sizes, so it's easier to see what you might look like in something.

Or maybe move to brands that specialise in more relaxed clothing www.gemini-woman.co.uk/. I haven't bought much from here as I feel it's more for an older age group ( although I am 53) .

I'm 59, large, and I do not dress like a 'French woman', whatever that means.

I like colour, I don't stick to drab black all the time. I did that when I was trying to disguise myself in my 20s and 30s. Now I think 'what's the point? It's fairly obvious what I look like, black is not 'flattering' if 'flattering' means 'makes you look thinner'.' I'm often very coordinated, I like interesting shapes, I enjoy clothes and patterns and design.

The secret is wearing things that actually fit you properly.

You say you've got clothes that don't currently fit - do you want that to still be your style? You could use Vinted and eBay to buy the same shapes and styles in a size that fits you now. Cheaper outlay for second-hand.

Instead of clothes bank you could also sell anything you don't want to wear now or later. That would fund future purchases! (And I really need to do this myself!)

Or you could book a personal styling appointment - John Lewis do them, if you have one you can get to relatively easily. It can be revelatory to see what shapes and styles suit that you wouldn't ordinarily have ever considered.

Find what you like and embrace it! We're here once, wear what makes you happy!

Great news on treatment. For going anywhere, I find stretch jersey wide legged trousers brilliant. Bought some in M&S and they go with anything and can allow for weight loss. Wrap tops, bubble hem & 3/4 sleeves, Empire line tops or dress too. I wesr long T shirt dress, also M&S are surprisingly flattering and v comfy. Having said that right now it's grey jersey jumpsuit, very stretchy and comfy and love it. Not going out today so all good.

Some of these are great and I love their style but what I struggle with is they don't seem to have my tummy - which looks like I am 5-6 pregnant thanks to my c-section apron. They always seem to look distributed and I'd love to wear jeans and trousers in the way they do but they look horrible on me because of my bulging lower tummy!