What do fat, middle aged women wear nowadays?!

[TwoBigNoisyBoys]

Sigh. I’m currently trying to lose weight, and I have a fair way to go. I’m 50, 5’2”, and around a size 18. Im not in the market for buying new clothes JUST yet…I’d like to drop a dress size first, and I have a wardrobe fit to burst, so that needs sorting. But I feel like I’ve lost my way with regards to fashion, and what even suits me any more. I’ve spent the last couple of years in leggings - I gained around 2/2.5 stone during year-long breast cancer treatment (which ended 14 months ago) and I’m only just starting to feel a bit more normal! As I worked from home then, I was fine to wear comfies, but I recently started a new job and so I’m out and about a lot more! Because I haven’t bought clothes (other than supermarket dresses) for a few years now, I was wondering where do you all get your inspiration and what are you all wearing that makes you feel fabulous?!

Regarding what I like…I used to wear a lot of dresses, boots, leather jackets, jeans, nice tops 😁 and heels…but my old clothes don’t fit me anymore and I don’t even know what suits me! Any ideas for where to get ideas from, please? TIA ☺️

I'm fat, 52 and 5'7 so a bit taller but an 18-20. I've been buying from TikTok shops! Sounds mad, not couture fashion but perfect because you can see ladies the same shape as you wearing the item.

I've bought things I wouldn't normally consider because of how good they look on women with a curve or six! I've been complimented many times. Even my DF whispered to my DM (thinking I couldn't hear) 'Hat looks nice' 😁.

I've never done it myself but had good reports of going to the personal shopper department of a large store like John Lewis. Friends who've been say they tried stuff they would never have chosen for themselves but had to admit some of it looked good. I think you pay a fee and if you buy anything they take the fee off the price. You could take photos of looks you like and then go through your own wardrobe to see if you can use any of it to emulate them. At least it might give you some new ideas.

I like Instagram for style stuff too. Unfortunately I have NO money, but I spend ages finding things on vinted and have managed to get some good ideas and recreate them on a budget.

No specific help because im a totally different shape, but find some people on Instagram who look like you and whose style you like and use that as a starting point. Vinted is great for low risk trying too - I bought loads of styles of jeans to try and just resell ones I can't make work for example.

Kaftans

@BristolBorn she talks about proportions etc, which is useful. I slso learnt to tuck my tops in, due to trinny. Hiding a belly under a baggy top means no shape at all. Plus she layers in ways I might not have thought about. I definitely don't share her wardrobe style, but the principles work.

There's no fee at John Lewis...I had an appointment recently! Totally pressure free, no hard sell, just a really nice atmosphere trying on stuff and seeing what worked and didn't. It was great!

I like plain dresses like this one:

https://www.damselinadress.com/product/nina-city-suit-dress-240553050.html

I like Cos and Hush, some Seasalt although I find their clothes a bit boring.

Also, 50s and also gained a lot of weight on chemo. Size 16 and 5’7 atm, was struggling to get in an 18 at times.

Cos is good because their clothes are a bit edgy even though a dress is £100+, they last well and tend to suit my pear shape.

My recent buys are these …. I literally have ten dresses I rotate with four different jackets, blazer, leather, tweeds x 2 with either boots or ankle boots.

Then I do it again in the summer with lighter weights.

Dress

Another dress

Third dress

I have a few pieces from Poetry. They wear extremely well! I’m 56, size 18.

Hi Op ,
And to the others who have successfully gone through treatment / have health issues .

I don't think it's as easy as saying wear what you want . As due to putting on weight there are many things that I would want to wear but try on and they look awful on me due to my now matronly size .

I also have a wardrobe full of things that don't suit me or things I bought which were a bit tight and was optimistic ( delusional ) that I would fit into them , but have put on rather than lost weight .

These include lovely jumpsuits and wide legged trousers . I am a bit taller than you but really haven't found wide legged trousers that suit my shape .

I am also not a classic /French style person and love patterns and colour .

I agree with others about Instagram . I like Erica Davies style , she is younger and I think about size 14 . I have also found Cos to be good - but don't try to get inspiration from their website / ads as they tend to use models who are about 6 feet , wear clothes several sizes too big ( which look like tents ) and are surprisingly unflattering on them too .

Uniqlo are also good for basics and Anthropologie do have great discounts in their sales and do larger sizes . If you register with them you can get notified when the sales are due to start .

Good luck !

Height, proportion and leg length is key. It's all very well following the Instagram of someone who's 5'11" and a size 20 but it's height that makes all the difference. You have to have height or long legs to carry off wide trousers, from all I've seen. Long voluminous coats which look great on tall people can swamp a shorter woman because the proportions are wrong.

OP, I think as others have suggested it involves looking at images of women of a similar height, age and size to you and see if anyone dresses in a way you like and that leaves you thinking 'I could look good in that.' I see lots of women wearing things I like but I know they wouldn't suit me.

I lost a couple of stone and dropped a couple of dress sizes in 2021 but struggled with the idea of wearing something fitted. I'd spent a few years in big jumpers and boyfriend jeans and lived in fear of anything more fitted showing how big I was. But actually, something fitted and sharp really makes me look and feel better. I also think a PP was right about fabrics. Young people can carry off flimsy and cheap fabric but wobblier, less defined older bodies need a bit of structure in the fabric.

Have a trying-on day — maybe a quiet weekday when you can take several outfits into the changing room and swap tops and bottoms and jackets. Try things you wouldn't normally consider and find out what suits you. In some shops on a quiet day you find that assistants can be really helpful. There was an occasions in Hobbs when the assistant advised me against buying something I quite liked and said 'Hold on a minute' and came back with something so much better that I would never have looked at. She explained that it's her job to help people make the best choices for them. IIRC she said they receive training to enable them to look at you and analyse what would flatter you.

As a starting point I'd try to objectively work out which style of trouser suits you best. Then what neckline suits best? I know that my neck looks longer with a v-neck and my face looks rounder if I wear a crew neck, for example. Good luck.

I like trinny's sense of style and she is entertaining! but if you're 5'2'' don't follow her for ideas. I'm not carrying extra weight, although at 53 my shape is not what it used to be despite pilates three times a week, but I would look terrible in the outfits that look brilliant on Trinny. So, follow somebody with a different body !

Although fabfatand40plus (on Instagram) is super tall, I think her colour mixes are interesting, and she does regular charity shop hauls.

I am a similar shape to you, it isn’t easy to look elegant so I have gone for comfort, warmth and colours/prints that make me happy. I find shopping in person is more likely to be inspiring than online but the current trend for oversized, boxy, cropped neutrals is so very not me that I am struggling. Seasalt is probably my favourite in terms of prints and colours. I tend to live in jeggings with either a long shirt or tunic or jumper or some combination of layers. Accessories are not size specific so are a great way to add individuality.
Go to somewhere with a wide range of shapes and try things on!

@VictoriaPink I agree about leaving it open - great tip. I'm a short waisted busty 62yr old. Double breasted trench coats were never right for me, then I found this single breasted one in M&S in a kind of caramel colour - and it just works that bit better! https://www.marksandspencer.com/cotton-rich-belted-longline-trenchcoat/p/clp60634604#intid=pid_pg1pip33g4r3c1|prodflag_plp_ts_QP_13

Trinny is pear-shaped and dresses for this all the time, emphasising her slim top half and wearing skirts/trousers to swish about in, she is also tall (and rich and successful!)

I love Trinny, but I can't follow her exact advice as I'm short and apple-shaped, but her general spirit, which is fun, colourful and flattering is helpful!

Join the style me happy Facebook group. It’s such a good group and you can get a really affordable body shape and colour analysis from the lady who runs it to help you figure out what would suit you best. I had one when I was on maternity and had lost my style and it really helped me fall back in love with dressing.

I am a similar size, height and age to you! I am happy with my wardrobe. I mostly wear straight legged jeans and a nice top. An old classic but it works! I only buy tops that I love and that I am certain suit me, so no wardrobe loads of tat that I don’t feel good in. I know what colours, necklines and shapes work and stick to them. Nice jewellery and comfy shoes too.

I was a similar size/shape/age- have lost a bit since. But I found either straight but not too wide leg jeans (i like seven for all mankind as they stretch)with longer oversized tops or sweatshirts from eg hush and casual trainers (327s) were a comfortable and casual look that worked. As people said, I tried not to wear too many dark colours as it gets depressing.

For work I mostly wore knee length dresses with cardigans or jumpers - found some good structured cardigans in zara that almost give same effect as soft suit jacket. Thicker chunky fabrics for dresses, Oliver bonas, nobodys child, joy London.

For fun, disturbia.

On legs, black tights and soft suede boots, or tights plus vans hi tops for spring, or just the vans for summer. Marks cycle short type underwear in summer for smoother lines and comfortable / especially with knee dresses. I love maxi dresses but as am 5ft they look odd on me.

A good coat or jacket really makes me feel pulled together, I'd spend more on this. And finding correct jeans for your shape is a game changer. Take a whole day and go somewhere with loads of shops!

Fat middle aged woman here. I'm customer facing at work, so like to go in relatively smart but casual. I've got into the habit of nice tunics (Adini, Seasalt, Mint Velvet) with tidy leggings or jeggings with a nice pair of knee high boots and a cashmere cardigan/jumper over. Sometimes just having the right accessories can lift a very mundane outfit. I've got some nice loose fit shirts recently too from M & S (think they were £22) and again, these are easily dressed up.

I'm 57 and a size 16 on top due to a large bust. I find uniqlo works well for me as it designs for a shorter frame so their clothes are a better proportion on me. I also have a very small head so most pattern overwhelms me whereas most uniqlo ones don't.

My day to day uniform is a very close fitting white tshirt with a slightly scooped neck worn under a black or navy v necked top - could be a jumper or a 1/4 zi worn open or a mock wrap - this is my favourite https://conquista-fashion.com/products/black-long-sleeve-faux-wrap-top-in-stretch-jersey-sustainable-fabric These give me the illusion of a longer neck and slim down the boobs whilst the t shirt underneath gives a bit of coverage to avoid the busty barmaid look. I have a few of them some in my size to balance out a wider bottom half and some a couple of sizes bigger for when I want a slouchier effect.

I usually wear either the ubiquitous "Me & Em" side stripe trousers in black or navy or I wear cropped wide legged trousers from uniqlo. I also have some thin jersey tube skirts that are nearly ankle length and work well with fairly chunky ankle boots.

If I want to look a bit smarter I have a couple of Wyse Aimee dresses - mine are plain but they come in a range of prints. I wear them open necked over a camisole or vest - I took my inspiration from Sophie Rayworth who wears them a lot to read the news. In fact she's quite a good style role model as although she has a lovely figure she isn't rail thin and flat chested. https://www.wyselondon.com/products/aimee-floral-dress-fir-multi?variant=40518092456025&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIwpuup53HhAMVnZtQBh27nAJREAQYASABEgIIvvD_BwE

Maybe do one of the colour seasons or body shape quizzes to give you a start? I found my colours were really good for me and I do refer to them when deciding on clothes.

Agree with pp's that finding a good neckline is tricky with a big bust. I suit v necks or loose crew necks, not keen on a big bust shelf which I get in very plain fronted tops

I've just bought a long sleeve knee length black jumper. It is so cosy. I plan to wear it with a chunky necklace, bright tights and DM boots.

It did occur to me that this may herald the start of my "Jo Brand in the 1990s" era but I don't mind that look.

Alternatively, I wear slightly mad bright coloured or patterned tops with jeans.

I’m 48, 5’3 and size 22.

I like fitted jeans or trousers with 3/4 sleeve, v neck, wrap over or swing tops, slightly fitted tunic dresses over leggings with knee high boots, and ‘wiggle’ dresses (with good support underwear) and heels and a jacket or 3/4 sleeve bolero for dressier times.

I find Joe Browns dresses fit really well, Next for jeans and Dorothy Perkins surprisingly good and their fits were really weird on me when I was slimmer but seem to work now.