What do fat, middle aged women wear nowadays?!

[TwoBigNoisyBoys]

Sigh. I’m currently trying to lose weight, and I have a fair way to go. I’m 50, 5’2”, and around a size 18. Im not in the market for buying new clothes JUST yet…I’d like to drop a dress size first, and I have a wardrobe fit to burst, so that needs sorting. But I feel like I’ve lost my way with regards to fashion, and what even suits me any more. I’ve spent the last couple of years in leggings - I gained around 2/2.5 stone during year-long breast cancer treatment (which ended 14 months ago) and I’m only just starting to feel a bit more normal! As I worked from home then, I was fine to wear comfies, but I recently started a new job and so I’m out and about a lot more! Because I haven’t bought clothes (other than supermarket dresses) for a few years now, I was wondering where do you all get your inspiration and what are you all wearing that makes you feel fabulous?!

Regarding what I like…I used to wear a lot of dresses, boots, leather jackets, jeans, nice tops 😁 and heels…but my old clothes don’t fit me anymore and I don’t even know what suits me! Any ideas for where to get ideas from, please? TIA ☺️

@Abeona you've explained why wide leg doesn’t suit me - thank you!

How did the wardrobe sorting go @TwoBigNoisyBoys?

Following with interest. I struggle with bloating and IBS but work in a very masculine environment where the floaty dresses Lottie Drynan wears just don't work. I have no idea what suits me anymore. I'm also a natural redhead to add to being short and fat, so I cant find anyone out there to compare myself to.

Check out MMPersonal styling on YouTube.
Melissa features lots of different body types and show you how to dress to make your body look more hourglass shaped, no matter your height, size & shape.

Her latest video today I think shows how to elongate a shorter body (model on video is 5ft 1”), especially if you have a rounder tummy area.

@Jelliclecats 5 bin bags so far! And that was just the wardrobe 🙈 I still have a chest of drawers, 2 over the door hangers, a coat rack, shoe rack and my packed away ‘naice’ dresses to go …😩 it’s a hell of a job but the stuff in my wardrobe now are all clothes that fit me right now. I have a single wardrobe of things I want to get back into, but I’ve made a mental rule that if I’m not in them this year, then they’re going too.

Thanks so much for all your answers so far 🥰 it’s all really helpful!

Great dresses.

I wear straight leg trousers, from anywhere who has a short length in my size when I’m ready to buy (e.g. M&S, Next, Sainsbury) and tunic tops from Seasalt, White Stuff or FatFace.

@NoddyAndHisCar yes, great dresses. You mention that you accessorise with different jackets etc… but how? Surely a jacket/blazer won’t fit over the top of some of these quite architectural dresses (eg dress link one that juts out)? I end up never knowing how to change outfits around in the ways you describe. So wld really appreciate any further hints from you (maybe with images if doable?!) to show how you make your 10 dresses work in lots of different ways! Thank you!!

Stretchy leggings and skirts from snag tights website, are fabulous.

I am similar age and size to you op. If I am watching TV and someone has a dress/top etc I like I take a photo with my phone and go onto google photos, click on the lens button and it will bring up a shopping tab. Then you can find out where they brought it. I use this loads. Really useful when you find someone a similar build and height looking good. I have found some lovely things this way.

@donkeymcdonkface whaaaaaat!!??? I never knew you could do this!!! That’s brilliant, thank you!

I use it loads and have found some great clothes this way! 😊

yup this, wear it like this and act like you believe you're tall and willowy and it'll work.

Well done for getting through your treatment - and well done on the new job and your huge wardrobe sort out. Clearing out the stuff that doesn't fit (either to recycle or packed away somewhere) will help you see what you have and what you need to buy and stop your heart sinking every time you look at stuff that no longer fits. I think the secret of feeling fabulous is knowing which colours really suit you - and those should be the colours you wear close to your face coats, tops or even a scarf in one of those colours. I invariably get the most compliments when I'm wearing colour (I am not far off your size and have a pink trench coat and a green edge to edge coat which I wear over plain navy and people have literally come up to me in the street to say they love my outfit). Also invest in some supportive underwear so everything that goes on top looks better. And focus on your hair and make up. You don't have to wait until you've lost the weight to feel and look fabulous, but I do think you need take some time to go shopping and try stuff on. Unless you have a twin, you won't know if it will suit you by seeing it on someone else - I don't buy anything on-line for this reason. In a shop you can try on a size up or a size down, try different necklines, hemlines - what you invariably find is that stuff that looks good on the hanger doesn't necessarily look good on you and vice versa.

Hi, firstly well done on getting through your treatment. I'm a year younger than you and I've just had a lumpectomy, followed by radiotherapy, now on the delightful Tamoxifen.

As one of the other posters said, rather than following rules for your age or size (whatever these rules might be), I would focus on finding colours/styles/patterns that you love. Have a good look round at different websites to get ideas. I personally favour younger/funkier styles. New Look has lots of nice dresses in different lengths, maybe accessorise with coloured tights (I love Snags despite their dodgy marketing). Its also worth looking on Vinted for ideas.

Also, the colours and styles that suit you depend on your colouring and body shape regardless of dress size. I'm pear shaped so tend to suit A-line skirts and dresses, tops with big sleeves, more fitted tops and baggy bottoms, wrap over skirts, ruching that sort of thing. Why not treat yourself to a girly shopping day (take a friend with you) and try on lots of things to get some ideas.

I’m five feet one, size 14 and I think an hour glass shape. My number one priority is comfort.
In the summer I wear midi dresses with flat sandals and in the winter I like cargo joggers with various tops and different jackets.
I am 55.
For evenings out in the winter I have lots of knee length or just about the knee dresses which I wear with ankle boots with a little heel and opaque tights.
I don’t suit wide leg trousers at all and hate jeans.
Last year I was size 18 and wore a lot of culottes in the spring/summer with bubble hem tops and leisure wear from Hush as well as midi dresses. For going out I had leather leggings with different blouses that I wore with a French tuck and my ankle boots.
I have lots of jewellery and other accessories as I feel like I’ve made an effort when I wear these.

The problem with looking on instagram is that the nicely put together influencers aren’t you. They don’t have your lifestyle or job or taste. I tried for a while to dress how I thought I should and ended up with a load of clothes that I didn’t feel like me in.

I hate neutrals, prints, any jeans except skinnies, and skirts. I like head to toe black, I like oversized sweatshirts, and I don’t care if not tucking things in makes me look fat.

At 50+ and 2 stone overweight due to medication and chronic illness, I wear what makes me feel comfortable, even if it’s not what a 5’6” size 14 is supposed to look good in.

Look up Lucy and Yak. Whatever size you are there is something. As 5ft 1 myself, I love the Ragan jumpsuit or Jenny cord dungarees. In winter with a roll neck under, and DMs/high tops. In summer with a t shirt under the Jennys and sandals. They have lovely fun prints (or more neutral if you prefer). Every time I’m out someone compliments them or asks where they are from. It’s a great boost even though I am also carrying some extra weight I want to lose. Plus they are a bit more flexible size wise, so I think I can still wear my Ragans even if I lose weight. Loads of inspiration on their Instagram or FB community group. Treat yourself now and it will spur you on :)

https://lucyandyak.com/collections/jumpsuits-boilersuits/products/ragan-jumpsuit-organic-cotton-maria

Also get some stuff on Vinted and use it to buy your new clothes! :)

OP, I was like you in my late forties. Everything was tight so, reluctantly, I went out to buy some new clothes. But everything looked awful, even in a size (or two) bigger.

I had a lightbulb moment in the shop. I decided to spend the money on weight loss instead of the clothes. My BMI is 21.3 now and I couldn't be happier . Money well spent.

Don't go down the slippery slope of buying bigger clothes. Join a weight loss programme. Be really focussed and you'll be surprised how quickly the weight will come off.

I like Lottie's ethos. She is a size 16 with a stomach, but she has some nice ideas, that may give you some inspiration.
https://www.instagram.com/lottiedrynan/

I think it’s about finding your own style and picking clothes you really love and that make you happy when you wear them and feel like ‘you’ - of course that’s much easier said than done.

I’m roughly the same age/height and size as you OP and really struggle with looking matronly. I’m not elegant enough to pull off the Parisian type look but I’m not keen on looking wacky just because I’m a bit fat and old. There has to be a balance but I struggle to find it too.

Have a look at Sahara. A bit pricey but lovely fabrics and colours and the shapes are likely to flatter your shape. Best wishes.

From what I've seen of Sahara clothes, they are nicer IRL than on screen.
They look nice on-line but they are drapey and work on different body shapes
Textured Square Jacquard Cowl Dress – Sahara (saharalondon.com)

Have a look at Melissa Murrell on You Tube. She does a lot of styling for people of all shapes and budget with buys from high street and online