If you're elegant (or close to someone who is), what's your daily/weekly routine?

[Tiffanyis]

I have just come back from a holiday where I was surrounded by groomed and elegant women of all ages, from 20s to 70s.

That kind of first-class cabin crew look iykwim, hair in a beautifully twisted bun, immaculate nails and clothes.

They weren't necessarily people who were super wealthy, but they clearly had a well-honed routine. I'm not talking obvious Botox and lip fillers, more of a quietly elegant look.

Did they learn it from their mums?

If this is you, or someone you know, can you share the secrets? How long does it take each day and what are the must-dos?

I'm clean and presentable with a decent income, but wasn't brought up with this kind of elegance. What does a post-menopausal woman like me need to do to transform into one of these butterflies?

I'm not but follow Anna Bey on you tube,for the lols, her channel is full of rules on being elegant

I have some relatives who I consider elegant but I don’t think they look like first class cabin crew, I would say that was more groomed.

Just googled the above & again not my definition of elegant. I think of Kristen ST & Cate Blanchett. My relatives who fit the bill have good hair, some grey some not. Good skin & tend to wear quite classic clothes. I do think elegance is quite hard to achieve, it’s a particular look really so pretty hard to imitate.

Looking groomed is much easier just needs more maintenance. One of my colleagues is very groomed; always has professional blow dried hair, manicures, dresses quite glam, never wears flats etc.

I generally get told I'm elegant/well turned out and imo it's about clothes. I have an expensive camel coat and leather soled shoes, always pearl studs and a gold chain (very fine). I iron my trousers and jeans. I only wear neutral colours (black, blue, white, cream, sometimes a radical teal or dark purple). Neutral makeup, including a natural lipstick. Never get my nails done but they're always short and clean. Natural Auburn hair in a layered bob which is a bit of a faff but doesn't kill me.

However almost all my clothes are from charity shops/eBay, I don't earn much (trainee lawyer) and live very frugally.

My mum is incredibly well turned out and I live in constant admiration/irritation/imitation. She'll also still criticise my clothes and hair etc, probably has all my life and makes me try harder!

Looking groomed is much easier just needs more maintenance. One of my colleagues is very groomed; always has professional blow dried hair, manicures, dresses quite glam, never wears flats etc.

i think it's groomed I mean then. But comfortable shoes are a must, and that usually means flats for me!

So, let's rephrase, if you're groomed, what's your daily/weekly routine and how long does it take?

That's interesting - looking at these women, I wondered if they had learned the tips and tricks from childhood.

I generally get told I'm elegant/well turned out and imo it's about clothes.

to me elegance is just there or not. One of my aunts can be doing the gardening in whatever & just looks elegant eg how she’s clipped her hair or whatever.

So, let's rephrase, if you're groomed, what's your daily/weekly routine and how long does it take?

Im very ungroomed so not much help here!

I think it takes quite a lot of effort, hair (cut and colour), nails, eyelashes (subtle) done regularly. Probably various types of hair styling tools, maybe even extensions. Scrupulous skincare, perfect make up, maybe some light fake tan. Expensive and good quality clothing, bags and accessories, though some of this can be faked. Fashionable but not OTT and the choices have a certain longevity. Potentially a lot of dry cleaning to avoid clothes looking washed out or bobbly or misshapen.

Diet and exercise to keep a slim figure.

I think the easiest way in is very minimal choices in clothing and accessories. I’m a magpie and drawn to colourful and shiny things and will never be the person you are describing who is more likely to have a 4-5 colour palette, including beiges and camels. If you’re confronted with five tops, a yellow one, a light pink one, a green one, a blue and white striped one and a white one, you always pick the white one.

I think it can be particularly hard to carry all this off as you get older because we become invisible as it is, without blending in with classic clothing and subtle choices. I think as we age the cut of clothes is even more important, particularly nothing pulling or ill fitting, it all needs to look effortless.

I had a client who was incredibly elegant.

My theory is that she just pretty much prioritised it above all else as a matter of habit.

I once had to call her out for an emergency at 3 in the morning. The rest of the team were in office pretty quickly in rumpled trackies and hoodies with full on bed-hair.

She strolled in, within 20 minutes of that 3am phone call, with styled hair, full but subtle makeup, pressed smart jeans, crisp T-shirt, accessorised with matching leather belt, shoes and handbag. Full on boss-lady!

Bearing in mind that 20 minutes included travel time, so she pulled all of that together in less than 5 minutes after a surprise 3am call.

I think it takes quite a lot of effort, hair (cut and colour), nails, eyelashes (subtle) done regularly. Probably various types of hair styling tools, maybe even extensions. Scrupulous skincare, perfect make up, maybe some light fake tan. Expensive and good quality clothing, bags and accessories, though some of this can be faked. Fashionable but not OTT and the choices have a certain longevity. Potentially a lot of dry cleaning to avoid clothes looking washed out or bobbly or misshapen.

I disagree. I think that the whole point is that it does not take effort or time. You either have it or you don’t.

i live in a posh part of French city, most of my neighbours are probably what you would call elegant. They :

Are thin / skinny - without exception.
Wear a lot of expensive looking clothes / shoes / accessories - wool, cashmere, silk, leather, linen only.
Wear classic clothes in neutral colours. Nothing particularly fashionable.
Always, always, always dress to go out: I’ve never seen any of them in anything remotely like ‘leisure wear’ unless they are actually exercising. They even wear long wool coats and leather shoes to take their grandchildren to the (muddy) park. If it’s raining, they take an umbrella - they do not chuck on a cagoule 😂.

i have absolutely no doubt they have been taught all this from childhood, and they will pass it onto their own children. Since my mum mostly lived in M&S, and wellies / gardening clothes, I haven’t a hope of matching them !

I think the main thing is they CARE about how they look. I don't have the time or organisational skills to do that day in day out. Money helps but as @GingerLiberalFeminist notes it's not essential. @owlsinthedaylight 's colleague appears to prioritise it over everything else.

It probably varies as to whether they have set out to purposefully be that way or whether it's learnt from their upbringing probably varies.

I'd love to look more groomed but have too many other responsibilities. I do love it when teen DS does a double take when I make the effort of getting ready to 'go out'
somewhere! 'You look nice mum!' - it's a shock to his system 😂

Skin care AM. Facial Routine. Wash my face. Apply Day cream, Snail mucin, Serum, I then let it all soak in while I have my herbal tea. Then I apply an ice cube wrapped in a piece of kitchen roll over my face.
I then apply Sun cream (all year round) and Primer.

PM. Cleanse and wash my face. Apply night cream snail mucin serum. Ice cube.

I do a facial at home every Sunday. Cleanse, wash face, Steam face, Apply egg oat and lemon mask. Leave on for 20 minutes. Wash it off . Apply toner to remove and excess reminents. I then a apply a,mud mask leave on until dry. I remove it with Face wash mixed with sugar and lemon juice for exfoliation. I then apply a moisturizing and calming sheet mask. I wash off with water and massage the reminents into my skin. I then apply night cream, Snail, mucin, Serum and an ice cube.

Make up routine. I'll either go for a full face make up, Subtle make (no make up make up) or 3 product make up.
Full face. Foundation, ContourBronzer, Blush, Highlighter, Eye shadow to either match or compliment what I'm wearing. Mascara, Lip, stick.

No make up make up. BB cream. Subtle bronzer, subtle blusher. Highlighter. Natural eye shadow, Mascara. and lip gloss.

3 product make up. Highlighter mascara and lip gloss.I usually do this on a Monday after my facial.

Shower each day. Sundays I exfoliate. ..Wash my hair around 3 times a week (it used need washing every day until i discovered oat meal and ice water shampoo and conditioner. I then apply conditioner comb it through and leave on get showered then rinse it off. I apply a hair mask once a week.

Clothes. and accessories.I only wear dresses, bags coats earrings and hair accessories to match. Nails are always painted and filed.

I do a pedicure every Sunday.

Thank you, this is the kind of information I was looking for. Do you only wear dresses around the house?

And do your own housework/gardening?

I think of posture before I think of clothes or grooming. Unfortunately mine is terrible.

I am a well groomed person. It's all about the foundations. Good hair, skin, nails, teeth.

My routine:

SKIN:

1. Double cleanse morning and night with foaming face wash

1. Moisturise night & day

1. Exfoliate every other night

1. Face mask fortnightly

1. Subtle fake tan once / twice a week

HAIR

1. Wash twice a week

1. Night before wash, massage scalp with rosemary oil

1. Use expensive shampoo and conditioning mask instead of conditioner

1. Apply pure argan oil to length of hair twice a daily

1. Allow to dry naturally after washing but then smooth, shape with heated styler

1. Always shampoo twice

TEETH

1. Invisalign

1. Regular whitening

1. Bonding to smooth irregularities

NAILS

1. Nightly application of cuticle oil

1. File when needed to maintain shape

1. No colour or natural colour

OTHER:

1. Slather body moisturiser all the time

1. Pedicure every 3 weeks

1. Always wear perfume/ nice smelling products

1. Clean, matching clothes even when at home

Am enjoying reading this thread. I get called elegant a fair bit by friends, family and industry colleagues. My mum is the most elegant woman I know. This perhaps aligns with what pp say about it's something you learn early on.

I think ballet lessons when young and pilates/yoga now help(ed) with posture and bearing. I also have a decent eye for what suits me and beautiful clothes and jewellery are my weakness. I wear some neutrals but also love a strong coloured suit or bright red lip (I deliberately dress in a more striking way as a senior woman in a male dominated industry). Clothes are cashmere and silk and wool for the most part. I love crepe fabrics and happy with viscose.

I don't do nails or lashes or fake tan or filler and have never dyed my hair, but I do get my eyebrows threaded, have an excellent dermatologist, eat a (mostly) healthy diet and keep my hair (my most striking feature) in good nick.

I believe in little and often and building/maintaining habits that don't take much time per day or week but cumulatively make a difference (this is what I tell myself!). Take my vitamins most days, rub in foot and hand cream and cuticle oil every night. Nails filed and buffed whenever I think of it (kept short as I hate the sound of clicky nails when I play the piano). Regular sheet masks, esp in winter when I need extra hydration.

Definitely more to do eg I should drink more water and take up weight training. Also need to reduce processed meats. I love a bacon sandwich...

My mother is elegant. She did some modelling in her younger days and danced. What I learnt:

The best possible cut and colour
Good teeth
Excellent posture
Take off make-up - bit of moisturiser
Quality jewellery and not too much of it
Good shoes and handbag
Make-up to enhance - certainly no extensions, false lashes or nails
Neat nails and handcream
Neat toenails and no hard skin
Clothes that fit and hang well
Nothing with writing on it

Do all that and you can dress up or dress down. I do not have my mother's innate interest in clothes but am neat and tidy and well groomed.

I think the main thing is they CARE about how they look.

i suppose it depends on what look you favour though. I care about how I look & love clothes etc but like @TheOGCCL Im not in to tasteful & plain. plus camel doesn’t suit me! My french older relatives think i’m a scruff bag who doesn’t make the most of herself but I don’t want to look safe & “done”. I do like treatments & use expensive products, although a lot are gifts & cast offs.

Apparently I am always groomed and well turned out. It’s instinctive.

for example, today I’m just at home. I’m wearing some wide black joggers which fit perfectly and a light grey v neck cashmere jumper. I’ve washed and styled my hair and I’ve got Sunday make up on which is CC cream, a bit of blusher and mascara.

i am not fanatical about skin care, i wash moisture etc but without exception i have my roots done every 4 weeks, I style my hair properly every single time I wash it, I always have pedicured toes and short dark shellac nails every 2 weeks

I don’t ever wear slogans or pictures on my clothes and a stripe is pretty much my only variation on plain

I spend a lot of money on coats and jackets but everything else is high street. I’m not sure it’s elegant but my style is very similar to the fashion lift on IG

hair nails plain simple clothes and great simple accessories.

Thanks for this post. I found it very interesting. It makes me think that her clothes are always ready and clean, not hanging over the back of the chair to see if they can last another day before being washed. (like mine). Also that outfit must have already been planned out down to which shoes and belt went with it.
There are lots of posts highlighting hair and skincare but I’m wondering whether the condition of the clothing is also very important. You know how knitwear for example looks brilliant when new and then seems to go into a steady decline. These elegant types must not only maintain their clothes well but also cull them ruthlessly when they start to get tatty.

I see what you mean, but no, and I’ve only just realised that this was one of the things that was so striking. She NEVER wore jeans in the office. Only ever LK Bennett style dresses with heels. So she was immaculately turned out (as if going on a cruise) but clearly not the outfit she just had ready for the morning. I guess it was possible it was what she had on the previous evening?

But maybe that’s your point - that her wardrobe was a series of coordinated outfits she could choose from without effort.

All my life, I have laid out my clothes for the next day the night before: underwear, tights, trousers, top/dress, scarf if wearing. I have a big day tomorrow and have already hung a plain green dress, navy jacket, and got out my undies and slip. I always check my tights in advance. I shall wear it with navy loafers.

Jewellery is rarely changed. At the moment diamond studs (tiny), a necklace with a silver chain with a single pearl, classic steel bracelet watch, wedding ring, eternity and engagement ring.

Today I am wearing white stuff structured leggings which are ancient and an old cotton top. I have noticed today that the stitching on the thight of the leggings is coming undone. They will go through the wash and straight into the charity bag. I wear things out but I don't do shabby.

I say all my life but from my first week at work. Early starts and no time to faff.