If you're elegant (or close to someone who is), what's your daily/weekly routine?

[Tiffanyis]

I have just come back from a holiday where I was surrounded by groomed and elegant women of all ages, from 20s to 70s.

That kind of first-class cabin crew look iykwim, hair in a beautifully twisted bun, immaculate nails and clothes.

They weren't necessarily people who were super wealthy, but they clearly had a well-honed routine. I'm not talking obvious Botox and lip fillers, more of a quietly elegant look.

Did they learn it from their mums?

If this is you, or someone you know, can you share the secrets? How long does it take each day and what are the must-dos?

I'm clean and presentable with a decent income, but wasn't brought up with this kind of elegance. What does a post-menopausal woman like me need to do to transform into one of these butterflies?

Joanna Lumley - very elegant person.

She's done a program about going though India (i think it was) - even in dusty sweltering heat she managed to look elegant!

I agree with pp that often the way you move and carry yourself conveys more elegance that the clothes or the price of them.

I would risk saying it's easier to list what NOT to do/wear to look more polished.

Trainers (every day)
Track suit bottoms (every day)
Weird coloured/half grown out hair
chewed nails
chewing gum
too much fake tan
massive false eyelashes
bad bra
overweight
lots of cheap jewellery

My DM was stylish on a budget. She bought things in charity shops, change the buttons etc and made it look fabulous. She was a seamstress so knew what to look for, checked hems etc and wouldn’t buy rubbish fabric. She was always well groomed even in jeans and a shirt. One of her routines would always be to change out of smarter clothes when she got home, hang or fold them. She would hand wash woollens and repair things. Always painted her own nails and dyed her own hair. An every day style icon for me.

I used to be able to do elegant, then Bravissimo stopped making clothes.

Now I cannot get anything fitted that will go over the H cups. The one remaining suit jacket and shirt I have from them is carefully guarded from DCat and reserved for job interviews.

I think there are a few pillars to looking elegant.

1. posture/movement - head up, shoulders back, not looking down when walking moving around.
2. keeping up with fashion but not being a slave to it.
3. accessorising outfits. It makes such a difference to fairly average boring looking clothes having the right jewellery, handbags, belts, shoes, they can immediately change the tone of an outfit. 1/3 of your wardrobe should be accessories. Eg. A blazer, leather belt, structured leather bag and heels will look entirely different to a baggy cardigan, backpack and trainers paired with the same jeans and tshirt.
4. styling outfits, Just tucking in tops or pulling up sleeves, creating a column of colour when dressing, knowing how to accentuate your best bits. There are so many style hacks out there on instagram they are easy to learn.
5. Real not fake eg, nails, brows, eyelashes, leather not pleather, cashmere not acrylic
6. less is more, have a capsule wardrobe which works together. treat your wardrobe like a fridge, move on anything that looks a bit manky, hasn’t been used in a year and keep a shopping list of missing items on your phone when shopping.

A colleague of mine is elegant:
no visible labels (though I'd hazard a guess she shops on the High Street as she's not a high earner)
no creases or scuffs or bobbles
excellent coats
leather shoes and bags
nails are either bare or unchipped polish
no garish colours
she doesn't have a perfect figure but you don't notice because her clothes fit and the styles suit her shape
no visible roots
excellent posture, never swears

I have no idea of her routine but I'm sure she spends time looking after her clothes and face/hair/body. She always looks put together. She follows trends but only the ones that suit her. I'd say she's late 50s.

My mother is very "well groomed" and (I think!) passed some habits on to me:

• Always have your nails done (we both get BIAB/gel every 2-3 weeks)
• Pedicure monthly even in winter
• If coloured, hair appointment every 6-8 weeks without fail, worth spending money on a good salon
• Never go out in public with no makeup on, but does not need to be heavy, just enough to look put together (I do not always follow this rule, sometimes I just can't be bothered!)
• Clothes need not be expensive, but kept in good condition (never creased, bobbled etc)
• Spend money on good quality accessories (bags, shoes, jewellery) that will last years and enhance every outfit)
• Invest in well fitting underwear (we both have a large bust so this is crucial to ensure clothes fit properly!)

Self care, skin care and good quality clothing.

No brash manly laugh, show feminine behaviour and be respectful.

I've never met an elegant tomboy, or an elegant tracksuit wearer.

Um, Show feminine behaviour? What exactly is that?

And can't men be elegant? Because I certainly know elegant men.

I have been thinking about this recently - I am a bit of an old fashioned romanticist and love old films where everyone appears elegant, poised and well presented. I even found myself looking for "poise and etiquette" books on Amazon but not sure what are the best more modern/flexible ones for the modern day - I don't want anything too stuffy! Before she passed, I spent alot of time with my Grandmother who was from an era where you always turned yourself out well - even during war times the lipstick was always on!! My Grandmother never had much money but was always smart and well turned out and in her own words "never wore trousers" Even while working on the farm... it was always in a skirt or dress!!

Anyway I digress. I have been thinking recently how I would like to feel a little more "elegant/pulled together" Nothing major but i do feel better when not in my "comfies" with my hair scraped up and very pale with no make up on like I am right now (WFH) I am trying to instil little habits (I used to be really quite "image conscious" not in a vain way as such just that I made an effort when I went out OR stayed in - I would wear my perfume etc at home as it lifted me and I want to feel that way again.) So joining this thread (and others similar) with interest.

I am also trying to speak more eloquently (less swearing, working on my grammar etc as I have gotten too comfortable with text speech etc!!)

My gosh. I've met some very elegant tracksuit wearers. Gymnasts and their coaches, ballet dancers/teachers. It's not what you wear, it's the way that you wear it.

How appropriate that I should queue behind a very elegant woman at the shoe repair place a few days ago! She had a beautiful tweed coat, straight jeans, leather boots and a big scarf, with tied up curly hair and fab hoop earrings. She was getting two pairs of boots reheeled that most people would probably deem fine as they were.