If you're elegant (or close to someone who is), what's your daily/weekly routine?

[Tiffanyis]

I have just come back from a holiday where I was surrounded by groomed and elegant women of all ages, from 20s to 70s.

That kind of first-class cabin crew look iykwim, hair in a beautifully twisted bun, immaculate nails and clothes.

They weren't necessarily people who were super wealthy, but they clearly had a well-honed routine. I'm not talking obvious Botox and lip fillers, more of a quietly elegant look.

Did they learn it from their mums?

If this is you, or someone you know, can you share the secrets? How long does it take each day and what are the must-dos?

I'm clean and presentable with a decent income, but wasn't brought up with this kind of elegance. What does a post-menopausal woman like me need to do to transform into one of these butterflies?

^ this is not me btw. I sport more of the "bedraggled, rustic" aesthetic.

I think elegant is a slightly understated, expensive look. It helps to be thin with good bone structure and have good hair.

I can look very elegant when I wear my good clothes. The other day I wore a silk max mara blouse, wool trousers, cashmere/wool coat. cashmere scarf. expensive boots. All perfectly pressed, hair nicely blow dried, minimal make up and natural, nude polished nails. I looked fabulous. I felt fabulous, it made we walk tall and gave me that inner confidence.

Today, I'm wearing waterproof trousers, coat and a bobble hat, no make up, to walk the dog 😂 not looking fabulous.

It's the details, the quality of fabric, an expensive silk blouse, shines and looks so luxurious. Polyester is never giving the same look. You never feel fabulous or elegant in cheap, tatty, bobbly clothes.

Posture is the biggest thing. Strong core so you carry yourself well. Head up. At ease with yourself. Mindful of how you move through space.

Being slim makes it 10x easier. Not that you can’t be elegant at a larger size but it takes more work.

Being well-ordered and organised in your life makes it easier to be elegant- be on time so you’re not rushing around, have the things you need with you.

For grooming- build small things into your routine eg hand cream before bed. Put appointments for hair etc in your diary and take them as seriously as doctors and dentists. Don’t have a cut or colour you’ll struggle to maintain- go for something else. Take time to take care of your clothes- a well-groomed friend resews all the buttons on her clothes because she finds the quality of sewing on the high street isn’t good enough. She also gets things professionally adjusted. The Princess of Wales also does all this which is one of the reasons high street stuff looks so good on her.

I agree with PP.
Elegance can only be achieved through even and dignified behaviour.
It doesn't matter what you look like, if you are saying fuck every other word, or belching, you cannot be elegant.

I love this look… And always coveted it. I always think of these women as “ladies” (I’m 47 now!). I’ve never had it.

Princess Diana was my top person with this look, and I grew up gazing the pages of Hello! magazine. Much of it is innate.

There’s a new book about Carolyn Besette Kennedy detailing her ownership of this look. She was s good example!

I buy good clothes, never shop in Primark. Natural fabrics, leather shoes / bags. Nice make-up. I have good hair, not dyed.

But, I’m still a “Christmas tree”. Trying to pate it back as I get older, as I don’t want to be a “quirky silver boots woman” 😅

There was a book years ago, how to be more Hepburn than Hilton.

I think elegance is one of those elusive qualities that people just have or not.

I’m reminded of Caroline Bingley in Pride and Prejudice describing what constitutes an accomplished young woman

‘A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.’

Just one thing - how do people look elegant in cold weather?! I find it impossible to look elegant in a padded coat but that's what you need at this time of the year. Also, shoes need to be more sturdy (for me at least). Ir maybe it's just me?

TR888, my aunt achieves this look in winter. She just throws on a cashmere jumper. An expensive rain coat. An polished boots.

I dont say I look elegant but people tell me I am. I love vintage style so thats my look, smart vintage. I won't wear fast fashion - it's badly made/cut. Unflattering. I'd rather buy secondhand vintage that will last many years. I wear silk scarves around neck in a loose bow. Good shoes and boots, low or mid heel. Hair and nails always neat. Nice handbags only. I don't wear jeans or leggings. I have combat trousers, the proper ones not the flimsy copies I tend to see in shops.

I prefer nice trousers. Including some mens trousers, the right ones are flattering and smart on women too - & they have pockets, which I love. I do like a nice coat, my favourites are 2 wool & cashmere mix coats I have. & a smart trenchcoat.

I was a dance performer & tutor for years so my balance and posture are still pretty good. I've always looked after my skin and teeth, and taken daily vitamins for longer than I can remember. Elegance is different things to different people. I have a friend who is just so effortlessly stylish and elegant whatever she wears.

She does have very sleek and shiny hair.

My most elegant friend is trained in classical ballet and has beautiful posture. She wouldn’t dream of wearing what someone upthread described as toddler clothes.

I think there's a certain look to elegance too, I think it looks lovely - but alas for me I have curly hair and chubby cheeks , even on my beat days I don't think I could every be described as elegant

I'm not elegant at all but I do some minimal things that make me feel more polished. I love skincare, esp moisturiser, and I've been using a vitamin C serum lately that has really helped my skin, it looks brighter and the pores are minimised which helps me looks more polished when I leave the house. Makeup is always minimal, I don't have the kind of face that can take too much makeup anyway. I wear small gold 'huggie' earrings which I think look elegant without too much fuss.

I have a shower and moisturise every single day which really helps my skin - I have a Japanese wash cloth which makes my skin so soft it's unbelievable! My skin feels smooth all the time now, even my leg hairs are minimised (I don't bother to shave in winter).

I have naturally dry, frizzy hair but I've recently invested in a blowout brush, which is absolutely amazing, why did I not know about these things before?! I'm currently sitting in my pjs, no makeup but lovely shiny hair and feeling quite polished 😂.

I love to keep my nails short and buffed, so that they look like I have clear polish on. That includes my toenails, I never paint them in winter (no point), but with some buffing my toes still look nice and in good condition. The wash cloth is really good for keeping my feet soft too I've found (no hard skin).

I think good grooming is key, rather than expensive clothes, because you just feel better inside, even in sweats. Although of course clothes are part of it. I don't think plastic surgery, botox, filler, false lashes or nails or any other obvious fakery works - anything that doesn't look 'subtle' takes away from any sense of elegance, imo. A natural look, simple clear skin and shiny hair can go a long way, I think.

A good tailor can alter something to fit properly. It improves the look immeasurably if you don't have jacket cuffs draped over your knuckles and something too wide over the hips. It is of course easier to take in than let out and if the shoulders don't fit, don't buy it. Also just because you can do it up, doesn't mean it fits. If something looks a bit snug, try the next size up.

I'd love to know which vitamin C serum and which wash cloths you use.

I agree that CW looks a bit of a mess on Strictly, but in Traitors I love her clothes and her hair is lovely. She is a bit dishevelled looking, but it's an attractive dishevelled rather than 'I just walked the dog and I'm covered in mud' dishevelled. If you see what I mean. I prefer that to someone in a cashmere coat and designer handbag. I like quirky.

I was elegant

It was a lot of hard work

Had to stay very slim and pick clothes out the day before

I’ve had people say I always look elegant ( even though I can often look like an absolute scruff - they just don’t see me when I’m like that)
I tend to prefer being overdressed to underdressed, so I think that makes a difference (even though some people always look elegant in athleisure).

But tend to have a uniform. I spend money on smart, stylish coats and shoes, have a leather handbag, but not designer. Well fitting jeans. Because I wear the same stuff all the time, it’s quick to get ready and always works well together. wear the same jewellery all the time.

I’d also say that a dress or jumpsuit always looks smarter than separates for work. ( no shirt tails hanging out, things getting crumpled, twisted etc), but is easier to get ready in morning so less stress.

Avoid cagoules and opt for good coat and umbrella when wet.

Also - and this is a big thing…don’t keep anything ‘for best’ - wear it everyday. I prefer to have one or two outfits that I love and wear to death, rather than loads of clothes that look a bit tired for every day wear, and only making an effort when it’s a big meeting/ night out.

so buy less stuff, but wear it constantly. Then chuck it after a year or two, and get something new.

I care very much about how I look but it is limited to my size and how toned I am. I do a lot of the things mentioned on this thread like eat healthily, exercise and drink lots of water but it’s for the purpose of staying skinny and very toned.

Clothes / hair / make-up I am much more relaxed about.

So I don’t think caring a lot about how you look = more likely to be elegant.

I think you either have it or you don't and does not depend on what you wear or your skincare regime. It's to do with poise, posture and the way a woman moves.

I've been using this to start with, as it's very cheap. Like it so far but I've got my eye on Boots No7's one next.
https://www.boots.com/boots-vitamin-c-pro-brightening-booster-serum-15ml-10322365

This is the washcloth: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B008ET8FYW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Its simplicity. That's the key

I don't really know that many people who look that way in real life. I know women who have a very glamorous look but it is usually not what I would call elegant. Elegant air hostesses I see tend to just be very pretty, young women with good skin and a strict dress code.

Personally I find what most people consider to be elegant and classic to be pretty boring and unimaginative. I do like minimal make up if at all, emphasis nice skin, healthy natural looking hair and I dislike long or fake nails. I'm also not in to glamour as such. I just like to see a bit of creativity, colour and flair in how people dress, but that is just me.

Main thing is to focus on being fit and healthy, having the best hair and skin you can without going down the injection route and then you can do as you like from there.

"Claudia Winkleman looks polished"

I think that someone said this actually really illustrates what we see as elegant or polished i.e. straight shiny hair, very slender and tailored, grey scale dressing. Claudia has pretty awful make up in my opinion and has a ditzy manner, which is part of her professional persona I suppose. She isn't really elegant but the basics of her body and dress mean that for many she can be seen as such. VCM her friend has nicer make up and is usually well dressed and has lovely hair but her body type precludes her from being classed as elegant.

I agree that CW's make up is a mess.