My face has changed and I feel sad

[SpongeBlobSquareFace]

I turned 54 a few days ago and felt really good. Of course I need to put down the Christmas chocs like everyone else but I'm in reasonable shape and everyone always said I look young for my age. Well, not any more. I saw pictures from yesterday and it looks like my visage has collapsed and I've suddenly got a square face. Really wide. I'm very upset. I realise this is shallow of me but I just want to mourn and moan a bit. Has anyone else had this?

Could it just be down to unflattering photography? I don’t think it can be that you’ve aged overnight.

I think it’s normal to sometimes see your reflection and realise that you really are aging. But no amount of Botox stops time marching on.

I am a few years younger than you, and don't photograph well. I have a square face, a sagging jaw, eyes which are getting smaller.... I sound attractive, don't I? But in real life, I think I look decent enough.

It's hard, but what can be done? I don't believe in surgery or Botox, so I live with it, and I focus more on health rather than my looks. Many of my friends have health issues, and I am lucky enough to have good health. However, none of this is easy. It helps that I was only ever average, not stunningly beautiful or anything.

Yes, very similar. Jawline just not as defined any more due to collagen loss. It's a natural, if not fun, part of moving through life.

https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-secrets/anti-aging/skin-care-during-menopause#:~:text=Studies%20show%20that%20women's%20skin,firmness%20and%20begins%20to%20sag.

I might try retinol skincare, but mainly I will stop looking in the mirror so often!

As we age the fat pads on our face reduced and the skin slips downward causing heaviness in the jawline (or as you described squareness)
A very small amount of filler will help to replace the volume loss in other areas of your face. It can be done in a very natural way.

I've changed in the last few years. Was never a beauty, but scrubbed up well, now look bad. I used to like, or accept happily, photos of myself, that this was what I looked like. but I can't even remember the last photo I saw where I didn't wince, and think God do I really look like that?

I use Tret and it's great for wrinkles, but does nothing for sagging. Perhaps the numerous Foreo bear type things that are suggested on here? Though I can't be bothered.

I do use retinol and it makes my skin so dry but I don't have loads of wrinkles. Just the hideous sagging. My friend has lots of wrinkles but no sag and she looks so beautiful. I would much rather have wrinkles than sag, wrinkles look lovely

Try facial exercises. I'm 55 and it's working for me. My dsis is a lot older an has amazing bone structure and looks so young. Just the luck of the draw.

I am sorry you feel so bad, OP. Ageing is hard for women. No doubt about it. I wouldn't call you shallow.

I have the problem that any tiny bit of excess fat goes to my tummy and my face, which is not flattering. DH ,meanwhile, is unbothered even though his face looks like it is made of wax!

My face has gone moon shaped rather than square, otherwise I've had much the same experience - not a huge number of wrinkles but loss of jawline and general definition. Yes I only see it in photos, not in the mirror and yes it's very disconcerting.

I agree with you that I'd far rather have wrinkles than sag. I get impatient sometimes when I hear talk about lines, wrinkles and number 11s as if they're the only symptom of ageing. Of course the beauty industry encourages this talk as it's low hanging fruit for them.

Anyway moan away.

I wonder if makeup makes any difference. I have gone some 52 years without wearing any, except for lipstick and eyeliner. Doesn't really suit my fairly casual lifestyle, but lately I have been thinking of going to MAC or John Lewis and trying some new stuff ( though I am Asian, so a lot of makeup really looks odd on my skin).

I can relate. I have been on a lot of steroids this year for various health reasons and saw a photo of myself yesterday and my head literally looks like an old football - so round and just intensely “old”. I was shocked. I don’t look like that to myself 🫣😆 but what can you do? I do all the right stuff health wise and skin care wise (used to work for Clinique for years so know all the right things to do). It’s just ageing and life unfortunately. I battled with myself over deleting the photo and going and living in a cave but I want my dc to have pics of me with them so I will embrace the moon head and go with it.

I have the problem that any tiny bit of excess fat goes to my tummy and my face, which is not flattering

I have the same issue lol

OP it’s understandable, I was horrified when I got a triple chin and my face ballooned during the pandemic when I put on weight in my mid 30s. I felt a bit silly since people were literally dying from covid and I was fortunate to be alive but I still felt bad about it although I’d never use Botox etc.

I was fortunate in that I’ve been able to move closer to how I looked before by losing weight and addressing my sleep issues, but I do remember the feeling of thinking yikes this is it. Perhaps that’s because I knew my weight had prematurely aged me/ changed my features. Not sure how I’ll feel in a couple of decades if it’s through more natural ageing.

We can be harsher on ourselves though, so your face may not have changed as much as you think.

My face has dropped . I don’t have many wrinkles because I really look after my skin, but I’m square now too. It upsets me.

Has anyone tried face yoga?

I’m another one who puts weight on on my face and stomach! I have to keep to a low weight / size 6 to look normal from the neck up. I envy curvy women with slim, defined faces.

Back to the OP, could it be the sugar you consumed over Christmas? I find that any sugar always bloats my face. Even ‘healthy’ sugar (e.g. fruit) does this. If sugar intolerance is a thing then I definitely have it!

Yes I have had so much sugar!!! I'm an all or nothing person so when I go for it I really go nuts. It could be bloating but I use the gua sha to move the lymph around. I won't have Botox or anything because, knowing my luck, it would go wrong. I used to put collagen in my tea but now I've decided to just eat extra protein.
It feels very silly and shallow to complain about this in real life so I'm glad there is a safe space here.

Would a facial massage stone help? The beauty editor at The Times swears by it. I use this one with a rosehip oil from The Ordinary.

https://hayoumethod.com/collections/the-jade-gua-sha-collection/products/jade-beauty-restorer

Sorry didn’t see your most recent post!!

I find wearing specs gives my face a bit more definition. Likewise lipstick - I can't be bothered with most make-up but lipstick only takes seconds to apply.

Do gua shas really work? A bit sceptical.

Same happened to me OP, always looked younger than my age and then quite suddenly in my mid 50s my face changed and I now look at least my age on a good day and probably older most if the time. It's taken some getting used to. Think I'm going to try some of the suggestions made here. Retinol doesn't seem to have helped.

51 here and yes I can look very square jawed and droopy if not careful. Exactly same as @Crushed23, I have to stay at size 6/8 to stop face and tummy being bloated. I would go as far as to say I have a 3 pound window to play in and over that, the jaw and tummy goes.

Things I do and that definitely help with “the sag” (not just jaw for me but also marionette area and eye bags -joy!) are the following
LED red mask - 5 minutes every day
Micro current daily
Microneedling 1-2 x month
Collagen building skincare - vit c, matrixyl, copper peptide, EGF, tretinoin
Face massage

Take a look at a YouTuber who has totally transformed herself with microneedling and skincare - she is unrecognisable from her pre glow up self - and says has had no fillers. She’s called GlowUpwithShelly and I find her videos really motivating when I’m having a “can’t be bothered” few days which can often happen after the festive slump.

Also don’t underestimate the impact of festive eating and drinking on ourselves - I know I’m looking more puffy and baggy right now due to salted nuts/chocolate/red wine/prosecco. I’m giving myself some grace until 8th Jan and then I am going to hit the health road hard!

I've been using a micro current device which does I think help a little with sagging. It pulses the facial muscles and tightens them up.
Mine is the magnitone one, wasn't expensive.