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Original poster

My face has changed and I feel sad

108 replies

SpongeBlobSquareFace · 31/12/2023 06:43

I turned 54 a few days ago and felt really good. Of course I need to put down the Christmas chocs like everyone else but I'm in reasonable shape and everyone always said I look young for my age. Well, not any more. I saw pictures from yesterday and it looks like my visage has collapsed and I've suddenly got a square face. Really wide. I'm very upset. I realise this is shallow of me but I just want to mourn and moan a bit. Has anyone else had this?

OP posts:
Original poster
SpongeBlobSquareFace · 31/12/2023 11:22

I definitely think it's worse when you've always had gasps when you've mentioned your age and shocked expressions and people saying no way!
Now they just nod and carry on with the conversation it's like a hammer blow to the heart. Yes it's inane and shallow and I'm so lucky to be alive but still. Thanks for the suggestions, I won't ever go under the knife but happy to try LED masks and micro current things. At least I can hide my neck with scarves and polo necks but can't cover my face tho once while wearing a face mask I tried to buy OTC sleeping pills cos of menopausal insomnia and the shop assistant said I didn't look old enough to be going through meno. A face covering it is then 😂

OP posts:
Sarahbumdaa · 31/12/2023 11:23

I'm 55 and have jowls the joy. But I've also notice under my cheeks bones ive lost definition, so they almost look black of darker anyway. I feel sad about it however this is me now. I also think camera angle is also something that can make you look awful of great. At the end of the day im not going to stop enjoying my life. But I also need to get my two front teeth fixed they look awful. I hope so much I can get this done.

SarahC50 · 31/12/2023 11:25

I hear you. I'm 52 and I swear I have aged in weeks. My neck is all crepey with a gizzard bit. Despite lathering moisturiser on it. My face like you I don't mind lines and wrinkles but it has fallen. It is jowly and droopy. I looked awful in photos. I look permanently tired and crumpled.

I don't think it is vain or shallow. It is quite an adjustment to make especially when my face seems to change and age on a daily basis x

Mercurysinretrograde · 31/12/2023 11:27

Pre-Covid I was looking jowly so I had some filler in my cheeks. It worked a treat and lifted everything in a subtle way, but you must go to a dr and not to a beautician or you can end up looking nasty.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 31/12/2023 11:34

I think I’ll try a stone thing (gua?) and facial yoga. How often do you need to use those?

I’m similar to you OP. I do get taken for 30s by people who don’t know me but I can see sagging around the jowls area. Makeup or none can make me look better. My DM and her Mum both had or have good face structure and DM even now at 82 has less sagging than most but doesn’t do retinol or anything else.

Blinkityblonk · 31/12/2023 11:35

Just about the teeth, I did Invisalign, and whilst they are not absolutely perfect or absolutely white, they are great and my own teeth. I would not have them filed down and veneers put on them or whatever they do in Turkey. I wanted something natural that would hold up in the old people's home, I had horrors of losing a veneer when aged 80 and not being able to get a replacement (if you are sick/old/unable to move yourself)! My mum had electrolysis on the same basis- she doesn't wear make up and has had no interventions at all, but didn't want a beard in the nursing home!

So, back to smiling it is!

Calliopespa · 31/12/2023 11:37

Blinkityblonk · 31/12/2023 11:15

Same here. I'm not having any work done so am focusing on smiling a lot to distract away from jowls! One thing I did do was get teeth fixed and this has helped with my smiling strategy. My friends all have the same, it's the fifties face droop but we have a lot of fun and still a lot to give so we are just getting on with it.

This was a lovely post! The smiling technique is very sweet and such a good attitude. Hope you have a HNY Blinkity and lots of fun with your friends. I’ll try to join you on the smiling 😊

Blinkityblonk · 31/12/2023 11:39

I also looked extremely young for my age for a very long time, photos of me in my early thirties I look quite similar to my late-teens, early twenties (or were the photos just quite blurry?) That's not the case now, I look the age I am which is a middle-aged lady. I like to think I look good anyway but I don't look 40 at 54 or whatever, and no-one does if you are this age and can see the people in real-life, partly due to the loss of collagen. Those on HRT don't seem to fare better in this department, or I haven't noticed it, but I still have lots of friends of this age and we look nice and go out and enjoy our lives now our kids are older, so it's not all bad.

Blinkityblonk · 31/12/2023 11:40

@Calliopespa thanks, you have a great time too!

pickledandpuzzled · 31/12/2023 11:55

The problem with the smiling strategy is the need to be highly animated and cheerful at all times when in public 😂 When you stop because you’re knackered everyone wonders what’s wrong 😂

usernother · 31/12/2023 11:58

I know what you mean. I've lost over 3 stone this year. Saw a photo of myself from yesterday and I'm still massive even though I'm not obese any more. Such a disappointment.

CHEESEY13 · 31/12/2023 12:05

A few years back the photo in the new passport made me cringe - I hadn't really noticed until then that I look like a stroke victim as the left side of my mouth is on a quite definite downward curve. The right side is fine. How could I not have seen this for all these years?
I've been hideously self-conscious ever since......

GinBlossom94 · 31/12/2023 12:09

I'm mid 40s and my issue is the fat pads on my cheeks seems to have left the building and I can look a bit hollow, makes me look really tired too. I really don't want to go down the fillers route, I'm a healthy weight, bit just don't know if there's any tricks for this?

MrsTwatInAHat · 31/12/2023 12:11

Yes… I’m another who used to look young for my age and now in my 50s the jowls and crinkly neck have arrived. I find if I’m looking in the mirror deliberately it’s not so bad, because my neck and jaw are more upright, but if I see myself looking down at a screen or get caught on camera with my chin down it’s jowls and wrinkles galore Sad

I’m not one for surgery or Botox etc partly because of the cost, partly because I think people can get addicted to it and end up looking really odd, partly because it just feels wrong. (for me. Not judging others)

I try to look at older role models who style out their jowls and wrinkles and just get on with having a full life and don’t see any need to give up on fun, fashion, etc. Judi Dench, Vivienne Westwood, Iris Apfel - and seeing Jilly Cooper on the news too, she’s 86 and the story isn’t about her looks but her success and what she’s up to. I’m trying to aim for that.

DeclineandFall · 31/12/2023 12:45

I'm 55 and I swear by microcurrent devices to stop the jowls and the sag. I used to do facial exercises for years and that helped but then needed something more. I have an Aldi one I picked up for £25 which is fine I got a Cloud 9 one for a steal when I bought by straighteners. Didn't think it would be much good but it turned out to be great I am buying a new one because I broke the last one. Boots are doing the Magnitone one for £60.
I really notice the difference if I don't use it for a week. You can buy ultrasound conductive gel on Amazon really cheap. You don't need the expensive stuff.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 31/12/2023 12:48

LivingInADifferentWorldFromYou · 31/12/2023 10:05

Pay no attention to it. Focus on what still looks good, and it's not about how you look, rather how you feel. I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin, l don't need anyone's approval but my own. That's the joy of being 55.

It's great that you feel like that - more power to you. But not everyone does. We all live in a society that judges women constantly for their appearance and that stigmatises ageing. It is perfectly understandable that women find that hard.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 31/12/2023 12:54

JMAngel1 · 31/12/2023 09:17

51 here and yes I can look very square jawed and droopy if not careful. Exactly same as @Crushed23, I have to stay at size 6/8 to stop face and tummy being bloated. I would go as far as to say I have a 3 pound window to play in and over that, the jaw and tummy goes.

Things I do and that definitely help with “the sag” (not just jaw for me but also marionette area and eye bags -joy!) are the following
LED red mask - 5 minutes every day
Micro current daily
Microneedling 1-2 x month
Collagen building skincare - vit c, matrixyl, copper peptide, EGF, tretinoin
Face massage

Take a look at a YouTuber who has totally transformed herself with microneedling and skincare - she is unrecognisable from her pre glow up self - and says has had no fillers. She’s called GlowUpwithShelly and I find her videos really motivating when I’m having a “can’t be bothered” few days which can often happen after the festive slump.

Also don’t underestimate the impact of festive eating and drinking on ourselves - I know I’m looking more puffy and baggy right now due to salted nuts/chocolate/red wine/prosecco. I’m giving myself some grace until 8th Jan and then I am going to hit the health road hard!

I just had a look at that Shelley woman and she looks wierd.

Original poster
SpongeBlobSquareFace · 31/12/2023 12:57

It's middle age spread on the face

OP posts:
Blinkityblonk · 31/12/2023 13:04

@JMAngel1 Shelley may not have had fillers (and at 47 that's probably a good call!) but she's had a hell lot of Botox, her forehead only moves very slightly when it tries...

I guess when it comes down to it, I can't be bothered to do anything daily. All this face yoga, I did do a video once and it took 10-20 min and was so boring and I just knew at that point I didn't want to do something that would just sag again if I stopped. Better to get everyone used to your new face.

I think there are things you can do, but they are not that effective and surgery would be, but I'm not prepared to do that, so it's jowls all the way.

@pickledandpuzzled I deploy smiling strategically. I can't be arsed to smile constantly!

Floisme · 31/12/2023 13:06

I have no intention of smiling unless I want to.

pinkhousesarebest · 31/12/2023 13:19

M’y mum was very pretty well into her 60’s. I remember her going on holiday with friends of the same age and she looked like their daughter. Three years later she had Alzheimer’s and the friends were taking her out for walks by the hand. That’s when I decided to jettison mourning about aging ( I was obsessed by my appearance and it did not make me happy)

     As my Grandma used to say, you’ll look back one day. And wish that you looked like you do today.
ThePoshUns · 31/12/2023 13:22

DeclineandFall · 31/12/2023 12:45

I'm 55 and I swear by microcurrent devices to stop the jowls and the sag. I used to do facial exercises for years and that helped but then needed something more. I have an Aldi one I picked up for £25 which is fine I got a Cloud 9 one for a steal when I bought by straighteners. Didn't think it would be much good but it turned out to be great I am buying a new one because I broke the last one. Boots are doing the Magnitone one for £60.
I really notice the difference if I don't use it for a week. You can buy ultrasound conductive gel on Amazon really cheap. You don't need the expensive stuff.

Yy I have the magnitone and a huge jar of gel off Amazon.
I usually do it on a Sunday. I've missed because of Christmas and can see I need to give myself a once over before heading out later.

MyFirstLittlePony · 31/12/2023 13:31

I feel your pain

at 52 I thought I was holding up ok, but my neck looks weird and stringy and my jaw line has weird sagging 😭

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 31/12/2023 14:21

Remember that no one actually looks like their photos, OP, because IRL our faces are constantly in motion.

Gunpla · 31/12/2023 14:26

I can relate. When I first noticed it I thought my chin had changed shape Grin. Then I slowly realised my face had collapsed around my chin. So shit.

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