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Original poster

My face has changed and I feel sad

108 replies

SpongeBlobSquareFace · 31/12/2023 06:43

I turned 54 a few days ago and felt really good. Of course I need to put down the Christmas chocs like everyone else but I'm in reasonable shape and everyone always said I look young for my age. Well, not any more. I saw pictures from yesterday and it looks like my visage has collapsed and I've suddenly got a square face. Really wide. I'm very upset. I realise this is shallow of me but I just want to mourn and moan a bit. Has anyone else had this?

OP posts:
Floisme · 31/12/2023 09:29

While I'm sure there are over-the-counter treatments that can give a pleasing temporary effect, I am very sceptical that you can replace collagen, fat pads, restore jawline and cheekbones and basically halt the ageing process without serious interventions and shit loads of money. And even if you did manage it, another even more annoying symptom would pop up in its place within a couple of years.

I find the best treatment is a good moan every so often and then getting on with what's left of life.

Lentilweaver · 31/12/2023 09:31

I find the best treatment is a good moan every so often and then getting on with what's left of life.

This appeals to me. I have to say when I meet old and dear friends, I never notice that their faces are sagging or puffy. I only notice what they say or do.

Wherearemybooks · 31/12/2023 09:32

SpongeBlobSquareFace · 31/12/2023 08:19

I do use retinol and it makes my skin so dry but I don't have loads of wrinkles. Just the hideous sagging. My friend has lots of wrinkles but no sag and she looks so beautiful. I would much rather have wrinkles than sag, wrinkles look lovely

Same here.

I know what you mean. I thought I would be ok with ageing but I am not. I just don’t look like me anymore. I didn’t realise that your face actually changes. I thought I would look like me but older. But I just don’t look like me anymore. My face has completely changed.

Wherearemybooks · 31/12/2023 09:35

Ulysees · 31/12/2023 08:23

Try facial exercises. I'm 55 and it's working for me. My dsis is a lot older an has amazing bone structure and looks so young. Just the luck of the draw.

When did you start and what exercises do you do?

AndThatWasNY · 31/12/2023 09:37

I am similar but honestly am refusing to care. Two good friends of mine from school died in the last couple of years. I have lost others who will never get to worry about such trivia. I know it is a cliche but it's a privilege to get older. I was quite beautiful when young but didn't notice and so am trying not to notice as a grow jowls and lines. I notice that older women who have a Joie de Vie tend to be radiant in a different way so I am aiming for that , 😁

Electio7899 · 31/12/2023 09:39

I find a bit more effort helps you feel good, so earrings, lipstick, foundation and eye concealer etc, on top of hair cuts etc. under 35 hardly bothered with any of it.

But honestly @SpongeBlobSquareFace few of us are looking our best at this stage, I started the day with panettone in traditional Italian style.

we’ve got all of January for the hair shirt.

JMAngel1 · 31/12/2023 09:48

@Electio7899
I am just tucking in to panettone and cappuccino - still in bed listening to winter classical music - heaven.

DeniseLucy · 31/12/2023 09:50

JMAngel1 · 31/12/2023 09:48

@Electio7899
I am just tucking in to panettone and cappuccino - still in bed listening to winter classical music - heaven.

Sounds it! 😁

Electio7899 · 31/12/2023 09:50

That sounds like my kind of morning! All of this get outside in the light early…surely time for a bracing stroll later…

1983Louise · 31/12/2023 09:57

It probably the camera angle, I had one taken over Christmas, my chin looked so big, I looked like Bruce Forsyths love child 😁

DeniseLucy · 31/12/2023 10:00

Just read the whole thread and I feel the same, just thought I’d take a photo of myself sitting up in bed and was shocked at my turkey like neck😐I’m early 60s been lucky with wrinkles but am saggy faced.

some days it bothers me but most days I don’t think about it, I just look at the bits I do like, like my eyes and hair and bright skin and ignore the saggyness.

We are our own harshest critics 😱

User176386233 · 31/12/2023 10:01

Any recommendations for facial exercises? I'm managing to be both jowly and gaunt. Ugh

LivingInADifferentWorldFromYou · 31/12/2023 10:05

Pay no attention to it. Focus on what still looks good, and it's not about how you look, rather how you feel. I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin, l don't need anyone's approval but my own. That's the joy of being 55.

MistletoeandJd · 31/12/2023 10:07

My face shape has changed from very very round to heart-shaped no idea how or when but there we go. A good new style haircut can help massively just make sure you go with a stylist that knows face shape and what compliments each.

Soozikinzii · 31/12/2023 10:15

I have had a couple of those hifu treatments they're only about £60 and they kind of plumb up the skin . I still hate photographs of myself though !

pickledandpuzzled · 31/12/2023 10:15

My eyes have suddenly got even more hooded…
will the massage gadget help? I’m great at buying products, not so great at remembering to use them!

Mischance · 31/12/2023 10:16

I am older than you OP and am not mad about photos of me - they show up my thin lips and marionette lines. But day to day I do not care about any of it. I was a very pretty young woman - many people likened me to famous beauties - so losing that feels a bit of a pain - but it is alongside many other losses that go with ageing (OH died, back surgery, loss of pain free mobility). The only way forward is to accept that these are normal changes and there is nothing you can do but concentrate on the good things in your life.

I doubt whether any of my friends notice these things - I am busy organising fun things and sharing any talents I might have for the good of the village.

I think that you need to understand that this is only the first of many losses. You have two choices: embrace them as part of life, or waste energy trying to turn the clock back and being miserable about it all.

pickledandpuzzled · 31/12/2023 10:17

I see my mum when I look in the mirror!

notanothernana · 31/12/2023 10:25

Yes, I am soon turning 57 and my facey is starting to look jowlie.

BeatricetheBeautious · 31/12/2023 10:27

Yes op, I'm feeling the same! I've definitely been eating the wrong things over Christmas. I'm 40, so shouldn't look as old and double chinny as I do! It's horrible. In my case I think I'm puffy due to wine and sugar etc, so hoping I can remedy it.

GettingStuffed · 31/12/2023 10:39

When I was younger I had a heart shaped face, it's now decidedly oval.

Aging is a natural process and it's a pity that we're being told it's not positive and we need to keep looking young.

Wherearemybooks · 31/12/2023 11:09

notanothernana · 31/12/2023 10:25

Yes, I am soon turning 57 and my facey is starting to look jowlie.

You are very lucky if you are only starting to look jowlie now.

Blinkityblonk · 31/12/2023 11:15

Same here. I'm not having any work done so am focusing on smiling a lot to distract away from jowls! One thing I did do was get teeth fixed and this has helped with my smiling strategy. My friends all have the same, it's the fifties face droop but we have a lot of fun and still a lot to give so we are just getting on with it.

scrumpledtitskin · 31/12/2023 11:20

This all resonates with me so much. I don't notice day to day, but the jowly sag and and turkey neck are so obvious in photos😫👵🏻
I'm 52 and so far I've been using fake tan on the white bit of my neck to try and disguise it, but it's getting beyond that now 😭🤣

I do think though, that other people don't notice as much, and I'm a big believer in smiling as much and as often as possible which distracts me from it

scrumpledtitskin · 31/12/2023 11:21

Ooh, similar post @Blinkityblonk