To think wearing, for instance, dresses with a high slit up the side eventually looks desperate?

[porridgeisbae]

I don't think women should have to dress frumpy with age, but at some point a face that's a little older above a revealing dress looks a bit wrong, even on the loveliest figure. Baps out is one thing, but the dresses with a high slit up the side don't look right.

AIBU?

Celebrities might do it on the red carpet but usually they've had lashings of botox, fillers etc.

It seems foul to me that woman would think this about other women. A real shame.

That a*

Some women in their 60s and 70s have fantastic legs. They look elegant in the dresses you describe. If they feel good in it, they should wear it.

Is this not an issue of processing one's own internalised misogyny and ageism, rather than outwardly musing about what other women should do and how 'desperate' it is.

Indeed.

Sexist and judgey!

I'm the same kind of age as the OP and I tend to dress in a very covered-up way. No baps out, no legs out, usually long sleeves and ankle-length hems. At the moment that's what I'm finding makes me feel comfortable and elegant, personally.

But each to their own and I do love to see the wide range of clothes styles that other people wear. One thing that I think has got a lot better over the last 30 years is the greater acceptance of "revealing" clothing for different body types. (And of course the greater availability of a range of clothes in different sizes!) When I see a funky outfit on a website modelled by an older model or a plus-size model, it warms my heart. The fashion world has generally become a freer, kinder, more varied place than it was when I was 20 and people are better able to express themselves through clothes. But it seems there are some exceptions to this kindness, unfortunately.

I think it's brilliant. I'm glad that women no longer feel like they should only wear twinsets after the age of 50. But can wear what they like; slit skirts or twinsets or whatever.

I don't like dresses with slits, regardless of what the wearer's legs are like. I've never seen one that I like.

Is that allowed? Or is it internalised misogyny?

You don’t like dresses with slits, so (assumably) you don’t wear them. That is fine.

Criticising someone else for wearing them, bringing their age and/or size of the wearer into the issue is internalised misogyny.

3/10 OP, must try harder.

I think women should wear whatever they feel good in but have to agree that I personally don’t like dresses with slits. I just don’t think they look nice.

I'm allowed to think "that's a horrible dress".

Because that's what I do think about them.

What am I reading? Do people still judge women in this manner? Christ on a bike. And a split skirt is desperate but cleavage isn’t?

women can wear what they want. None of it is desperate. They can do it at any age they please. You do you and stay away from other women.

I prefer a long front slit to boobs out for any age.

YABU to use the term baps 🤢

What’s it to you anyway?

Just heading out for dinner, wearing a dress with a high neck and long sleeves but my legs are on show...hope I don't look desperate!

Well, I am, but mostly for tapas and a glass of wine.

Wow, imagine voluntarily telling the world that you laugh at strangers because of their choice of clothes.

The OP has some deeply unpleasant views. Fortunately, I give zero fucks about others finding my style or ‘desire for attention’ to be a character flaw. I have got incredible legs. Properly, seriously and very obviously. I will get them out at every opportunity. Even at the grand old age of 54 (because this thread is about women over 45 I reckon).

BTW OP, if I wear skin tight leggings to the gym - including walking there and back - am I ‘attention seeking’? What is allowed?

Traditionally, in the UK women can choose what they wear.

I went out for some pre-Christmas drinks last week with friends. One in particular, l did not like her dress. Maybe she didn’t like mine.

But l did not feel the need on the benefits from telling her. Women should stand by each other. We get enough rubbish from men, we don’t need this adding to things.

I hope you didn't see Dolly Parton performing recently wearing hot pants and a crop top at the age of 72, you'd have had a coronary

What a strange OP. Of course YABU

Is it only 'look at me' if you're old?

Or is it always 'look at me' but that's a fine way to be when you're below a certain age and it's only unacceptable once you reach this cut off age and you should fade into the background?

Personally I love seeing eighty year olds, disabled people, slim people, fat people, people with cellulite, people with no cellulite, people with artificial limbs, people in wheelchairs, people with guide dogs, people of all ethnic backgrounds, young adults, middle aged people, poor people and rich people dressing in whatever they want all the time and only prioritising their own feelings and confidence about how high their dress slits are.

Agree with this.
There's a huge difference between "this isn't to my personal taste/I don't think that's a very stylish look but if the person wearing it is happy good for them" and "people above a certain age shouldn't wear... You should only wear certain clothes if you're young, toned and conventionally attractive ".