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Original poster

black dress to a summer wedding

109 replies

cookiegardencat · 28/07/2023 21:17

is it OK to wear a black dress to a summer wedding. day guest so will be there all day and evening. specifically this dress?

other half will be wearing a kilt as is Scottish

thanks

black dress to a summer wedding
OP posts:
HappiDaze · 30/07/2023 09:16

Wear bright accessories because it's a joyful happy occasion so you need to dress to embody the spirit of the occasion

Original poster
cookiegardencat · 30/07/2023 12:19

@Wheresmytrainers your tux style suit sounds amazing. very Kate moss!
I have only been to a few weddings in the last few years but even in other events like christenings etc I would tend to agree that there seems to be more of a shift towards more individuality. totally get what you mean about the tight dresses etc.

thanks for sharing

OP posts:
drpet49 · 30/07/2023 12:19

Pinkitydrinkity · 28/07/2023 22:41

I wouldn’t because I think there are so many other nice colours to wear in the summer!

This.

Original poster
cookiegardencat · 30/07/2023 12:20

@HappiDaze totally I agree about the spirit of the occasion. to me that dress makes me want to dance and have fun. bright accessories will help too

OP posts:
usernother · 30/07/2023 12:25

No. Lovely dress but I wouldn't wear it to a wedding.

NatashaDancing · 30/07/2023 12:44

cookiegardencat · 30/07/2023 12:19

@Wheresmytrainers your tux style suit sounds amazing. very Kate moss!
I have only been to a few weddings in the last few years but even in other events like christenings etc I would tend to agree that there seems to be more of a shift towards more individuality. totally get what you mean about the tight dresses etc.

thanks for sharing

My first take on that photo of Cara Delevingne in her black tail suit , was "crikey, for a wedding"?

My second take was, why ever not? She's walking beside 2 men in black tail suits.

It's not that Cara was wearing a black suit that was wrong, but that Cara would have looked great and appropriate if she hadn't looked so grumpy. Sticking with the Royals Mike and Zara Tindall scrub up well but they'd look ok in anything at a wedding - they always look as if they're happy to be there and to have a great time.

MrsGusset · 30/07/2023 13:32

elizzza · 29/07/2023 17:28

In my late 30s and I’ve never heard a rule that you can’t wear black to a wedding! Either I’m terribly non-U or this a pretty outdated tradition.

Just out of interest, for people who were aware of this rule, what’s the basis of it? Presumably not wearing white is to allow the bride to be the only one in white, is no black just because it’s associated with funerals?

Black is traditionally worn for funerals and is the colour for those in mourning. Because of that it was thought that black for a wedding was an indication that the wearer disapproved of the marriage and wished ill towards the couple, e.g. spiteful ex-girlfriends or unhappy MILs.

Although this line of thought is dying out there are still a lot of traditionalists about who might well suspect that a woman wearing black was one of the groom's old cast-offs!

Personally I love the dress OP is considering. It's beautiful but my reservation is that it couldn't look less “summer wedding” if it tried.

MrBernardCheeseman · 30/07/2023 13:43

Sorry to sound like an old misery but my friend wore black to my wedding and she sticks out like a sore thumb in my photographs.

MissesMorkan · 30/07/2023 14:02

MrsGusset · 30/07/2023 13:32

Black is traditionally worn for funerals and is the colour for those in mourning. Because of that it was thought that black for a wedding was an indication that the wearer disapproved of the marriage and wished ill towards the couple, e.g. spiteful ex-girlfriends or unhappy MILs.

Although this line of thought is dying out there are still a lot of traditionalists about who might well suspect that a woman wearing black was one of the groom's old cast-offs!

Personally I love the dress OP is considering. It's beautiful but my reservation is that it couldn't look less “summer wedding” if it tried.

Show quote history

Or presumably that the groom was one of the black-clad guest’s ‘old cast-offs’? Or the bride, for that matter.

Though this has just reminded me that I know of a wedding where the (Catholic) priest marrying the couple had had a relationship with the bride. While being a technically celibate priest. Usually wearing black, accessorised with a dog collar.

Original poster
cookiegardencat · 30/07/2023 14:24

MrBernardCheeseman · 30/07/2023 13:43

Sorry to sound like an old misery but my friend wore black to my wedding and she sticks out like a sore thumb in my photographs.

that's an interesting perspective. thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
cookiegardencat · 30/07/2023 14:24

NatashaDancing · 30/07/2023 12:44

My first take on that photo of Cara Delevingne in her black tail suit , was "crikey, for a wedding"?

My second take was, why ever not? She's walking beside 2 men in black tail suits.

It's not that Cara was wearing a black suit that was wrong, but that Cara would have looked great and appropriate if she hadn't looked so grumpy. Sticking with the Royals Mike and Zara Tindall scrub up well but they'd look ok in anything at a wedding - they always look as if they're happy to be there and to have a great time.

Show quote history

I had similar thoughts. maybe I just need to make sure I smile all day 😊

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 30/07/2023 14:27

Oh ffs, it’s 2023. Wear what you like. Black is fine, and that dress is lovely. Go, enjoy, and give no fucks!

notawittyname1954 · 30/07/2023 15:47

I think its lovely. As others have said some bright accessories. And it makes you feel good. If I saw you in it at a wedding I would just think what a lovely dress.

Maddy70 · 30/07/2023 16:01

I wouldn't wear plain black to a wedding. It's very frowned upon lovely dress btw

NobodyWantsToHearThat · 30/07/2023 16:03

It's a lovely dress, but I wouldn't say it is suitable for a wedding - it's black and too showy

Screamingabdabz · 30/07/2023 16:41

Purplecatshopaholic · 30/07/2023 14:27

Oh ffs, it’s 2023. Wear what you like. Black is fine, and that dress is lovely. Go, enjoy, and give no fucks!

But you could say that about anything! There are unwritten dress codes in all sorts of situations for genuinely good reasons. Black is considered a colour that is for mourning. So totally inappropriate.

The fact that it’s becoming more common is that it’s an imported American/Canadian thing (more cocktail and evening wear) and there are more civil ceremonies now where it’s less formal.

For a church wedding I’d say definitely no. And just in general I think it’s rude because it goes against convention on someone else’s day. But then I guess no one will strong arm you, just think you look out of place and ‘miss-dressed’.

BenjaminDisraeli · 30/07/2023 16:47

While it's not a style you'd wear to a funeral it is black, and for some people that's significant. Only you know if you can take a few raised eyebrows, most likely from an older generation of relatives who you don't even know.
Gorgeous dress, you'll have plenty of oppos to wear it!

kitsuneghost · 30/07/2023 16:59

No. Do they have a fiffereny colour?

kitsuneghost · 30/07/2023 17:00

sorry, different colour

Onelifeonly · 30/07/2023 17:05

I don't particularly see why not, though it's an unusual choice. Personally I wouldn't simply as I wear black quite a lot anyway and especially for winter events, so I'd rather wear something brighter to a summer wedding. Seems to match the mood better.

luckylavender · 30/07/2023 17:29

cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 07:17

ah thanks for all the responses. I think I thought there would be a mix but seems to be a fairly even split really. I know jm slightly biased as had black bridesmaid dresses for my own wedding though that was winter so it's useful to get a range of views.

budget is fairly tight and it's a dress I have already and feel great it. I was thinking gold or pink shoes maybe.

for those of you that have said no is that because you just wouldn't personally or because you consider it not acceptable?

I thought black was a faux pas for a wedding

MustardCress · 30/07/2023 18:27

Haha! Yes, god not proper posh, I used completely the wrong word!

I meant I was imagining the model wearing it outside a church and thought if passing by I would assume there was a funeral taking place, not a wedding. A fancy funeral!

It’s those first impressions that still stick with me. I just can’t see black as a happy wedding colour.

Love the dress though.

NatashaDancing · 30/07/2023 18:30

cookiegardencat · 30/07/2023 14:24

that's an interesting perspective. thank you

Show quote history

How many photos of the bride will there be and how many will you be in? And how many will there be of you and the bride together?

Unless you're part of the bridal group I think this is a non- point.

Whataretheodds · 30/07/2023 18:30

for those of you that have said no is that because you just wouldn't personally or because you consider it not acceptable?

I wouldn't wear all black and I would inwardly roll my eyes if someone else wore all black to a wedding. It's traditionally the colour of mourning and that's not the vibe guests should bring to a Wedding.

NatashaDancing · 30/07/2023 18:31

MustardCress · 30/07/2023 18:27

Haha! Yes, god not proper posh, I used completely the wrong word!

I meant I was imagining the model wearing it outside a church and thought if passing by I would assume there was a funeral taking place, not a wedding. A fancy funeral!

It’s those first impressions that still stick with me. I just can’t see black as a happy wedding colour.

Love the dress though.

The Queen had a fancy funeral. That's still not a funeral dress.