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Original poster

black dress to a summer wedding

109 replies

cookiegardencat · 28/07/2023 21:17

is it OK to wear a black dress to a summer wedding. day guest so will be there all day and evening. specifically this dress?

other half will be wearing a kilt as is Scottish

thanks

black dress to a summer wedding
OP posts:
Original poster
cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 13:49

a posh funeral! ha that really made me laugh.

this is a dress I already have. bought on vinted no for this purpose but was hoping to get away without getting anything new.

I'm a size 14, bigger bottom half than top and tall but fairly straight sized.

it's hard to work out if the opinions are reflected in real life as a few posters say or if just reserved to mumsnet.

I guess to ask it a different way, what would you think if you saw someone wearing that dress at a wedding (even if you wouldn't personally wear it)? would you consider them rude or not think anything of it?

OP posts:
Deadringer · 29/07/2023 13:54

I would think it very odd if I saw someone wear that dress to a funeral, however posh it was. Aside from the fact that it is a bit bare around the beck and shoulders, it is very clearly a 'going out' dress.

QueSyrahSyrah · 29/07/2023 13:55

I've never encountered this being a thing in real life. Plenty of Men wear black suits to weddings without this nonsense.

Wouldn't have crossed my mind to worry about the colours the guests were wearing at our wedding, and if I were a fellow guest and saw someone wearing your dress OP the only thing I'd think would be 'oooh lovely dress'

QueSyrahSyrah · 29/07/2023 13:59

Oh and if I saw someone wearing that dress to a funeral, however posh, I'd assume they were going to a party afterwards. It's not a funeral dress by any stretch of the imagination.

LadyPenelope68 · 29/07/2023 14:18

If I saw that at a wedding I’d just think what a gorgeous dress, wouldn’t even cross my mind to think anything of it being black.

Pieceofpurplesky · 29/07/2023 14:18

I am wearing a black dress to a wedding and accessorising with baby pink!

sonjadog · 29/07/2023 14:20

I think the thing to do is have bright accessories. That will remove it from a funeral feel.

NatashaDancing · 29/07/2023 15:23

MustardCress · 29/07/2023 11:54

Nope. I would think you were dressed for a posh funeral.

Sooooo many colours, just not black or white. Unless you are an unusual size it’s not that difficult to find something else is it?

Its a lovely dress though and I always wonder why labels don’t automatically offer dresses like this also in navy/ midnight blue.

I've attended, mainly on a professional basis, funerals of people who I suppose might be "posh" if you mean members of the aristocracy or the Bar.

You'd stand out like a sore thumb in that dress.

NatashaDancing · 29/07/2023 15:25

cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 13:49

a posh funeral! ha that really made me laugh.

this is a dress I already have. bought on vinted no for this purpose but was hoping to get away without getting anything new.

I'm a size 14, bigger bottom half than top and tall but fairly straight sized.

it's hard to work out if the opinions are reflected in real life as a few posters say or if just reserved to mumsnet.

I guess to ask it a different way, what would you think if you saw someone wearing that dress at a wedding (even if you wouldn't personally wear it)? would you consider them rude or not think anything of it?

Oh this is well into "only on Mumsnet" There's no reason why you can't wear that lovely dress to a wedding.

It's obviously not a funeral dress.

Original poster
cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 15:30

ok feeling much more reassured by these comments now.

having spent the morning trailing vinted for an alternative and not yet seeing anything I like or in budget, I'm leaning towards wearing it. maybe il wear a black mourning veil too😉

it won't be to everyone's taste but then nothing ever is, especially on mumsnet

OP posts:
sonjadog · 29/07/2023 16:15

I think the top part makes it clearly party and not funeral. A funeral dress would be more cover up.

tiktokoclock · 29/07/2023 16:16

Black at a wedding is fine, if you ask me.
Plus, you already have it, you feel great in it... No brainer!

purplemunkey · 29/07/2023 16:35

It’s lovely OP. What brand is it?

I wore a black dress to the first wedding I ever went to. I had no idea you weren’t ‘meant’ to. It was a strappy number, so ‘night out’ rather than ‘funeral’ vibes. I too just tried to wear what I had as I wasn’t in a position to buy something new. I had a cream bolero thing and a silver clutch if I recall. No one said anything so hopefully I didn’t offend!

Hadalifeonce · 29/07/2023 16:50

I think it's lovely, and wouldn't hesitate to wear it.

Whataretheodds · 29/07/2023 16:53

what would you think if you saw someone wearing that dress at a wedding (even if you wouldn't personally wear it)?

I'd wonder why someone had worn an all-black dress to a wedding. It's not 'done', and I think it's rude to ask because it puts the bride in an awkward position. (I feel the same about white or mostly white)

Yes I think it's rude.

BHRK · 29/07/2023 16:57

Gorgeous dress but I wouldn’t wear it to a wedding unless I had bright pink shoes or bright emerald green. It needs elevating

Paperbagsaremine · 29/07/2023 17:00

I would check with the happy couple first though.
If nothing else, it enables you to explain that you're doing this because - like a lot of people now! - the CoL means you don't have the cash to buy something else (do you not have anything else that would do btw?)
....and it's NOT a PA comment on them in any way.
And do give them the genuine opportunity to say "no".

purplemunkey · 29/07/2023 17:04

In fact, I’ve worn black to two weddings. No one said anything the second time either, and that was a close friends wedding. I don’t think I ever knew it was a ‘thing’ until I read mumsnet threads about it. Perhaps it’s not as much of a ‘thing’ as these threads suggest.

zurala · 29/07/2023 17:06

Check with the bride. If she is ok with it then wear it.

Personally I wouldn't because black is for funerals not weddings and there are so many other colours you can wear. If I saw you wearing it I'd wonder why you hadn't bought a dress in a colour, given that it's a wedding, and assume you didn't know the etiquette behind it (since you asked). I would find it a touch ignorant and would wonder if the bride was offended, especially as the only time I've ever seen someone in black at a wedding it was because she was the groom's mistress!

GreyTS · 29/07/2023 17:09

I have seen black dresses on guests at royal weddings, have the people who think it's unsuitable not been to a wedding this century?

trafficcarrots · 29/07/2023 17:11

Ask the bride and groom first, black is often associated with funerals.

The last wedding I went to was black tie, all the guests were requested to wear black except bridesmaids in gold, flower girls wore black and gold and everyone looked amazing, it didnt look like a funeral at all, it looked very classy. In fact I found it difficult to find a nice black evening dress suitable for black-tie so it was a bit of a escapade. I would have chosen any other colour than black, white or red at a more casual wedding

mewkins · 29/07/2023 17:13

I love it and would wear it to a wedding. I've worn black jumpsuits and dresses to weddings and no one cared. And there are always others in black too. I find it weirder when people dress not as themselves to weddings.

NatashaDancing · 29/07/2023 17:21

None of the wedding etiquette sites have a problem with it. They suggest it would be a bit odd if it's a casual beach wedding but beyond that, no issue.

Tilllly · 29/07/2023 17:23

I think it's lovely

NormalForNuneaton · 29/07/2023 17:27

I've worn a black dress to a summer wedding.

I wore silver shoes and a black and silver pashmina type wrap for when it got chilly