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Original poster

black dress to a summer wedding

109 replies

cookiegardencat · 28/07/2023 21:17

is it OK to wear a black dress to a summer wedding. day guest so will be there all day and evening. specifically this dress?

other half will be wearing a kilt as is Scottish

thanks

black dress to a summer wedding
OP posts:
elizzza · 29/07/2023 17:28

In my late 30s and I’ve never heard a rule that you can’t wear black to a wedding! Either I’m terribly non-U or this a pretty outdated tradition.

Just out of interest, for people who were aware of this rule, what’s the basis of it? Presumably not wearing white is to allow the bride to be the only one in white, is no black just because it’s associated with funerals?

Original poster
cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 17:42

@NatashaDancing that's really interesting to know about the etiquette sites. thank you

@GreyTS very good point!

@trafficcarrots I actually wore black to a wedding only a few weeks ago now that I think of it. but it was a formal black tie wedding and I wore a black full length gown with gold beads on it and I didn't even think to question that. had only positive comments on the dress. and lots of other people were in shades of navy, dark purple etc which doesn't feel much different

@zurala wow!! why would you bring your mistress to a wedding!! that's shocking

OP posts:
Fifthtimelucky · 29/07/2023 17:42

I'm firmly in the "don't wear white or black to weddings" camp but I'm in my 60s.

I think the OP's dress is a great dress for a night out, but neither the style nor the colour is (in my view) suitable for a day time wedding.

I do think dress codes are changing though. Many people now seem to wear "evening clothes" rather than day wear to a wedding. Perhaps that is because there is more focus than there used to be on the evening do. Most of the weddings I went to when I was young had no evening do.

Original poster
cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 17:45

I guess also alot of people are saying ask the couple. which I get the intention behind however no dress code has been specified and I dunno it feels like asking for permission when they probably have far more important things to be dealing with in the run up to the wedding seems a bit odd.

I do have one other dress that I'm going to try on and see if it still fits, never felt as good in it but it could work.

and yes sorry can't remember who commented on the shoes now but I was actually thinking pink or green or maybe gold.

OP posts:
Original poster
cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 17:49

@Fifthtimelucky thank you for sharing, some really interesting things to consider there. I think you are right, dress codes def are shifting and I think it depends on the venue too. I wouldn't dream of wearing that to a church wedding but it's in a nice barn type place.
I might ask my mum and nan for their opinions too actually.

OP posts:
Original poster
cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 17:49

I think also the thing about finding something you feel good in is a big draw to this dress for me. I love the shape, it suits my figure and I've never been a pastel floral kinda person

OP posts:
Notonthestairs · 29/07/2023 17:51

Not wearing black is definitely a thing for some people.

I was stopped outside my friends (February) wedding by mother of the bride and asked to remove my black velvet coat!

My bridesmaid & my Mum wore black velvet for my winter wedding. I've got no idea what anyone else wore!

It's a very pretty dress and you feel great in it. Wear it & add a coloured accessories to soften it.

AuntieStella · 29/07/2023 17:51

I would never wear black or white to a wedding (unless it was very much the background of a pattern.

I'm glad you have other options to try.

Original poster
cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 17:52

@purplemunkey thank you. its by Quiz so not an expensive dress to start with but then I got it on vinted for 15 quid. think it's a season or 2 old now.

OP posts:
Original poster
cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 17:54

@Notonthestairs
oh gosh, I've never actually come across anyone being told to their face there was an issue with a black outfit before. what happened?

OP posts:
RunningJo · 29/07/2023 17:57

LOVE the dress, I’d pair it with orange and pink accessories.

Notonthestairs · 29/07/2023 17:58

You didn't mess with Mrs H - I shivered my way through the ceremony! But the marquee was thankfully heated.

NatashaDancing · 29/07/2023 19:05

I'm firmly in the "don't wear white or black to weddings" camp but I'm in my 60s.

I'm firmly in the "??? Only on Mumsnet" camp. I'm in my 60s

NatashaDancing · 29/07/2023 20:01

GreyTS · 29/07/2023 17:09

I have seen black dresses on guests at royal weddings, have the people who think it's unsuitable not been to a wedding this century?

Here's an actual Royal person wearing a black dress at a Royal wedding.
Queen Rania

Naomi Campbell wore black to H & M's wedding. Victoria Beckham wore dark navy so dark it might as well have been black to Kate and Will's and H& M's.

The rest are links to wedding etiquette sites, including one for weddings in southern US states, who I'd guess are likely to be conservative/ traditional if anyone is. None of them have a problem with black.

https://www.southernliving.com/weddings/can-you-wear-black-to-wedding

https://www.marthastewart.com/7895841/can-female-guests-wear-black-dress-wedding

https://www.vogue.co.uk/fashion/gallery/black-wedding-guest-dresses-bridesmaids

https://www.brides.com/can-you-wear-black-to-a-wedding-4800808

Queen Rania Wears an Elegant Black Dior Gown for Prince Hussein and Rajwa Al-Saif’s Wedding

The day is finally here! Earlier today, Crown Prince Hussein of Jordan tied the knot with Saudi Arabia’s Rajwa Al-Saif, and all eyes are on the Jordanian royal family for a first glimpse at the newlyweds. While we don’t have a picture of the couple jus...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/en.vogue.me/weddings/queen-rania-black-dior-gown-prince-hussein-rajwa-al-saif-wedding-jordan/amp/

AuntieStella · 29/07/2023 20:05

Queen Rania is not at a British wedding, and of course colours have different significance in other cultures. It's not a guide to British practice and norms.

So, to take a further example, I wouldn't wear red or white at a Chinese wedding, but black has no particular connotations.

zurala · 29/07/2023 20:12

@cookiegardencat I know! She was making a point, which was largely based on the fact that you don't wear black at weddings, so because she was she was trying to say that she was in mourning over the marriage. Appalling behaviour by her and the groom, obviously. Although it got worse. He was an awful man.

NatashaDancing · 29/07/2023 20:18

AuntieStella · 29/07/2023 20:05

Queen Rania is not at a British wedding, and of course colours have different significance in other cultures. It's not a guide to British practice and norms.

So, to take a further example, I wouldn't wear red or white at a Chinese wedding, but black has no particular connotations.

The other links are all fine with black. Naomi Campbell and Victoria Beckham wore black and might as well be black to a royal wedding in the UK.

redcess · 29/07/2023 20:18

I love this dress, and I would absolutely wear to a wedding but with some colourful accessories and shoes. Could you wear a slim belt with it, which also matches the pink or gold shoes you mentioned? Also could get matching statement earrings. Think it will look lovely Smile
Ps where is it from?

doorstopper123 · 29/07/2023 20:19

I would! Worn black to a few weddings. I never ever considered it was inappropriate

doorstopper123 · 29/07/2023 20:21

Indeed men wear black suits and nobody bats an eye lid

Ykn · 29/07/2023 20:29

Yes, I wore a black dress to DB's summer wedding, but I also fake tanned and wore a red hat and red shoes.

Original poster
cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 20:39

@redcess thank you. a belt is a good idea actually hadn't thought of that. and I do love a statement earring.

the dress was from Quiz though I don't think is available anymore

OP posts:
Original poster
cookiegardencat · 29/07/2023 20:41

@ykn well I tend not to fake tan and am super pale but hopefully that won't go against me 😂glad you are in team black dress

OP posts:
Wheresmytrainers · 30/07/2023 09:13

Dress is lovely and would look great with bright shoes. I would say it is absolutely fine for a casual wedding. I've been to three weddings so far this year and I would say from my observations that wedding outfits are becoming far more relaxed and governed by personal choice. The twenties to thirties bracket wear really tight stuff, lots of flesh and vertiginous heels. Those outfits would not look out of place in a club in Ibiza. There has been a return of hats for those who are around the age of the parents of the couple. I saw at least ten at one of the weddings I have been to. Conversely, some women do not dress up as much as in the past though, maybe people can't afford something new?

I rented a black floral dress for one of the weddings I attended and wore the same outfit to the other two: a tuxedo style suit, (which I had had for years), with a plain gold blouse and a Panama hat. Felt like Kate Moss but probably didn't look like her 😂

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