Having a bad body image day, and also coming to terms with a tragic loss, but need to pack for our holiday - mentally drained, so help would be wonderful!

[JemimaPyjamas]

I am away for three weeks and need to start making a list to gradually get my bag ready. I also want to feel as good as I can about my appearance and hope it'll perk me up a bit. I keep half heartedly looking at various sites and either lose interest or find I have ordered the wrong size or shape so send it back.

Details about me is; I am basically 'round.' I am about an 16 (obviously this varies between shops) but I dislike fitted clothes. My boobs are quite big but my main issue is my stomach. I have no waist (even when thin!) I am 5ft 5 and my legs are okay, and I can kind of cope with my arms (they won't win any awards but out of areas that need to be flattered, my stomach is more important.) I feel a lot better with a tan, and don't burn easily (and have spf 50 on anyway) so I don't feel like I need to be too covered up in the daytime.
Oh, and I am 47. If they weren't so overpriced / expensive, I like shops like Free People and Cabbages and Roses. I don't like looking 'done' and I don't even know where our iron is now, so I certainly won't be prioritising it on holiday!

Holiday is tropical, generally between 28-32 during the day and we will be both sightseeing and sitting around a pool.

So far I have bought these and also have two dresses that are pretty much the same but longer. I have some shorts which are okay. I am travelling in the trousers I am about to link which will probably get lots of wear but also want something airy, comfy and 'me' for evenings. These are the trousers these which are very comfortable but also look like pyjamas! I'd like to look casually smartish for some of the time, rather than 'middle aged backpacker', if that makes sense. Or at least a bit put together!

I have this as an arm cover for the evening (for bugs as well as enthusiastic air con.)

I did buy this from Zara to go with a loose top but it didn't sit right and I felt both fat and constricted (so I don't think it was simply sizing.)

Is this enough info...? Any inspo is good - I can't really go mad with £££, and it seems silly mainly on the basis of a holiday, but I'd also rather have a couple of things I love than a full case of semi disposable clothes.

Get onto Vinted or eBay to search for preloved Cabbages and Roses or Free People!

Otherwise there was a great thread here a few weeks ago about looking good on holiday that might have some inspiration:

https://www.mumsnet.com/index.php/talk/style_and_beauty/4758822-not-looking-a-state-on-holiday

From the way you describe your shape I feel like there is a particular dress shape that would suit you but I don’t know how to describe it. So I’ve linked to an example below- like this but shorter and in a lighter colour.

https://www.riverisland.com/p/black-puff-sleeve-smock-midi-dress-with-linen-754924

That River Island smock dress could work really well. This thisisunfolded.com/products/juniper-sustainable-tiered-stripe-dress-blue-c7 isn't constricted round the waist but would let your arms and some leg be on show.

I’m the same dimensions as you. I just bought from elasticated waist linen mix shorts from Asda - but they are everywhere. I’m so pleased. They’re loose and cool and easy to pair with a top. They’re not super sexy but are easy to dress up. I’ve been going with satin vest for smart and boxy cotton t shirt for casual. Lots of jewellery and smart sandals.

I also want to remind you that grief + bad body image day means you’re definitely not allowed to listen to your inner critic. Kindly tell your inner critic that you won’t be listening to it today. You’ll deal with it another time you’re feeling a bit more robust. Say thank you to your body for being amazing at all the shit it does all day and pack things that feel comfortable.

Have a brilliant holiday.

Although you say you dislike fitted clothes, you're choosing items that are shapeless and will do you no favours, the kimono is gorgeous and would go with tapered linen trousers and one of your loose vests, those trousers are hideous and will make you look twice your size.
Tbh Free People looks to suit willowy types and very overpriced too.

www.debenhams.com/product/principles-tiered-wrap-midi-dress_pdd07284?colour=khaki

fhwt.app.link/tiZ6HdP7iAb

fhwt.app.link/5dqnhANVaAb

Thank you for the responses, which appreciated.

@ShangPie I originally attempted the Vinted route but with the FP stuff in particular all the 'L' sizing is also listed as a 14. I suspect it's American sizing (which in FP I am often an M or an L) and, well, it just felt more fiddly than I could be arsed with at the moment. The Cabbages and Roses route was better but they aren't really suitable, style wise, for where I am going. The thread you linked is where I will be going straight after this, thanks for that!

@SimonsCow I agree - that dress could work! I have also seen similar in New Look (I don't often tend to wear black, I am more someone who opts for pastels, especially if I have a tan, but black is worth a go.)

@rookiemere Unfortunately that shape doesn't suit me - it seems to emphasise my middle rather than skim over it. But thank you all the same.

@Dustmybroom I have some similar sounding shorts from last year, but just the one pair. I might have to look at getting another pair or two. I can never tell if boxy shaped tops would work or not, but it's good to hear someone who is a similar shape finds that they work for them. As for the rest of your message - thank you! I have been trying to convince myself the same but it's not as effective as someone else pointing it out xx

@HerMammy the 'hideous' trousers are, as stated in the OP, also for travelling. Three flights and a 27 hour journey means comfort is key! I am also needing to dress for a mix of more travelling around, rough and ready, but also the occasional more upmarket hotel. The Principles dress isn't really me unfortunately and, if you don't mind, can you re link the other two as they just brought me to the Next page but not to anything specific.

This isn't very helpful, but what you've chosen OP is exactly to my taste. I'm the same age as you if not shape. I wondered if Cos is worth a try, for more structured yet loose, if you're with me?

@PictureConsequences Funnily enough, I am on the Cos website as we speak!

I quite like some of the loose dresses on Cos, but not sure I like them enough to justify the price.

This isn't Cos, its Free People (and the price has gone up since I bought it last year when it was £78) but I'll link it in case you like it - Paradisio dress.

I do like it, thanks Jemima!! And not too expensive for there. Good luck browsing. Oh what about Kin at JL?

I've not heard of Kin at JL, will have a look now...

Would these interest/suit you at all?

I have the last one (without the belt) and it is very flowy and comfortable. I'm a size 18, big boobs and even bigger belly. As long as I have a good bra on I actually look ok in it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B09Y5TXVDM?psc=1&ref=ppxpoppmobbbasin_title&th=1

Unfortunately they are not really 'me' at all - but thank you. I am starting to realise I am harder to shop for than I might have initially thought!

It sounds like your shape is basically the same as mine and I think your style might be similar. What do you think of this dress?
https://feerietelle.com/collections/tzirka-tops-dresses-and-jumpsuits/products/ankle-length-tzirka-dress-6-tone-100-cotton

Hi Jemima, I relate....
Bit older than you but I found two cool wafty 100% cotton longer sleeved, longish length frocks after searching all day and underwhelmed.
Both from Bon Marche! Never shopped there before.
Wore one dress first day yesterday and got several compliments..One is sage green, floral print from Autonomy section. The other is navy and white Indian print.

@JennieTheZebra I think that dress is really cool, and if I was holidaying in the UK or similar it'd be a good contender, but it wouldn't really suit where I am going (south east Asia).

@Villagetoraiseachild if you'd suggested Bon Marche but not linked a pic I would have been semi tempted not to look. Weirdly, I have been looking, on and off, at these but not really sure I can justify the price, so I will have a look at your suggestions as an alternative (that I won't be as precious about if they get torn or whatever.)

@JemimaPyjamas We do share the same style! Tbh if I was going to south east Asia I would just wear crinkle cotton skirts and slouchy vest tops. I’m going to Malta in July (so similar in heat, if not in humidity) and have bought this https://www.next.co.uk/g9888s4/A62282#A62282 which is a lot like the Daughter of India dresses-which I love by the way.

The slouchy vest tops are bought, so at least that's sorted - I'll just be currently wearing them with my knickers...

I presume you can remove the belt from the dress you linked to without it being obvious...?

I wear these a lot: https://www.hush-uk.com/alexa-harem-trousers-black/000741-2822-12.html?fo_c=1586&fo_k=d112345ea7d638255db41421361bf951&fo_s=gplauk&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&sv_tax3=UK_Pmax_All+Products_All+Users&sv_campaign_id=18399225353&utm_term=&sv_tax4=000741-2822-12&utm_content=gnetwork:-placement:-gchannel:x-adtype:pla&gclid=Cj0KCQjw1rqkBhCTARIsAAHz7K0K3YUn2HC0R6TDvl4l2DTIAZSflRNUdlmGodSJenBn1EHN7DUxYP8aAncGEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

I have them in all three colours.

Thwyre amazingly soft, wafty and comfortable.

And though they're listed as 'joggers' they're light jersey material. I wore them last week in West Coast USA when it was 30-35 degrees and I was comfortable.

Yep, it just slides out and the belt loops aren’t noticeable. In terms of clothes, I do get your pain though. I want to look cool, comfortable and slightly alternative with a 60s/70s twist iyswim. A bit boho but not overdone. Sometimes I get there and sometimes I get chubby ageing hippie. Oh well 😂

Generally, light colours are better in hot countries as are light reflecting....
loose dresses are great for just throwing on and not faffing with buttons or zips, plus easier to go to loo!
Dont forget a hat or good head scarf...

@NewAnon I had some and wore them to death! They are a bit too hot for where I am going though, hence the lighter option I bought.

@JennieTheZebra Yep, you've nailed it.

@Villagetoraiseachild I kind of work on the loose non-faffy basis all year round I think!

One of the dresses, that might be your style.

Where's that from?

These won't win any awards for sustainability (or longevity) but they're a dream for packing, and super cool and wafty.

Kiran Fashion Lagenlook Boho Hippy Harem Ali Baba Baggy Loose Plain Yoga Trouser Pant amzn.eu/d/gTQpx69

I have had numerous pairs from shops locally - started when pregnant and continued wearing them through the years - none in stock this summer, so turned to Amazon!