London party outfit

[mamaduckbone]

I've been invited to a party in July - it's a joint 50th birthday bash for 4 of dh's old
Uni friends. They were all very Hoxton and trendy when we lived down in London, but I never was really part of that set and we've lived elsewhere for 20 odd years now so am completely out of touch.

Although we're now all middle aged with kids I know the London lot will still be super stylish. Please help, oh wise mumsnet stylistas - I don't want to look like a small town primary school teacher (even though that's what I am!)
Size 10-12, 5'5", most comfortable in a stripy t-shirt, jeans and converse.

That sounds awkward @littleripper although I'm not sure whether it was meant as an insult or whether she was envious because your DD's dress was glitzy and fabulous? I'm sure it was 😊

I can only speak for myself, but the only times I notice what people are wearing enough to care is if they have on something I would like for myself, or if they look uncomfortable (and it's that I notice). And wearing what you like doesn't just mean going everywhere in jeans and trainers, it also means wearing sequins and a tiara if you feel like it 😀

I describe what I see, Usernamen and it looks carefully thought out to me. Plus I believe you're one of the posters who quite clearly notices what people wear in other cities so I'm afraid I'm sceptical about it being as relaxed as you say.

Incidentally I did not use the words 'sneering' or 'bullying' so I'm not sure why you're bringing that up with me.

I didn’t say I don’t notice what other people wear - I think that was another poster? I’m a keen people watcher, actually, and will often remember the ‘style’ of a city I’ve visited, especially if it’s different from what I’m used to seeing.

The sneering/bullying comment was a response to another comment, forgot to tag, apologies.

I also wasn’t saying it was a bad thing that the women I saw in Manchester were in sparkly dresses and stilettos. Each to their own. The point I and others are making on this thread is that you don’t need to go to anywhere near that kind of effort to go out in London. So chill out, don’t overthink, and save your money. 😎

(Thinking about it, I’m probably jealous that the women I saw in Manchester must have so much disposable income sloshing around that they have a whole going out wardrobe of dresses, clutch bags and heels, and can afford a blow dry for a night out. Wouldn’t mind being that rich tbh…)

No probs Usernamen.

One of the posts I was referring to was where you describe a trip to Manchester. Now I don't think it's sneery to notice what people wear - I do it all the time. I think that when you come to a place as a bit of an outsider (as I am to London) you have a different perspective and you spot things that a local person doesn't. And my observation of that particular part of London (not the city as a whole) is that there is more to this casualness than meets the eye, that it is a little bit knowing and artful, and that this is what people can sometimes find stressful, especially when they're meeting up with people they're not and never were particularly close to, as in the op's case.

Equally I'm sure if you went for a night out where I live you'd have a different perspective and spot things that I miss.

@mamaduckbone I went to a 50th party in London recently to the Little Orange Door, well it wasn't the Orange one but one of the colours  and I thought it was going to be achingly trendy but it wasn't.

I looked at photos of the venue to see what people there were wearing and tbh anything goes

The host's friends were all very casual, some in trainers some not. I decided to dress for comfort and did what @Floisme suggested. I wore a pair of black barrel jeans that I already owned, I bought a black camisole and wore an Anine Bing lookalike herringbone jacket that I already owned. and I felt fine. There wasn't a particular look at the venue.

Sometimes I opt for black and play it safe when I'm unsure of the unwritten dress code.

However, no matter what anyone was wearing we all had a good time and ultimately that's what it's all about.

I'd wear some buttery culottes, relaxed T-shirt with a blazer and some trainers.

https://www.cos.com/en_gbp/women/dresses/product.asymmetric-gathered-midi-dress-bright-green.1160631003.html

https://www.cos.com/en_gbp/women/womenswear/jumpsuits/product.belted-wide-leg-jumpsuit-blue.1152147001.html
i have the jumpsuit and it’s really flattering and looks good with heels and trainers.

alternatively look up anything from cos, arket, whistles on vinted.

Wouldn’t buttery culottes leave greasy marks everywhere?

London style is quite relaxed - out of towners tend to wear cocktail dresses to restaurants

From an earlier post. I do wonder how posters who comment about "out of towners" can do so with such confidence that they've spotted one.

I can't honestly say I've noticed any particular London style different from any other city -and that it takes all sorts. And I definitely notice what people are wearing. I suppose it's possible that as I'm never farther east than The Barbican, west than Chelsea and Kensington, north occasionally to music venues in Camden, south of the river for the National Theatre and Festival Hall and generally around Mayfair and Covent Garden that I only see "out of towners"

What a nasty little girl however. I hope she didn't spoil the ballet for your daughter.

Having lived in London and now living out of it, I notice when I go back that there's a relaxed style but it's definitely a style. I imagine the people you've described very much wearing the vintage items or wide legged silky jumpsuits some have mentioned and very much not wearing shiny dresses (though glittery skirts I have seen with very dressed down everything else and it looked fab). I really sympathise with wanting to get it right for this kind of party. My best tip would be certainly wear something you feel comfy in, but not jeans. Though jeans are lovely, unless they're colourful (e.g black, white, green) rather than denim they can look as though you've made no effort and I'm guessing for a special birthday party at a venue people will make an effort even if it's casual code! So trousers rather than jeans even if you're wearing a dressy top. I hope you have an amazing time.

From an earlier post. I do wonder how posters who comment about "out of towners" can do so with such confidence that they've spotted one.

Indeed.

I live in Barbican and my friend (and next door neighbour) wears more sequins than Liberace. She will happily wear a cocktail dress to dinner without a second thought. I have no doubt that some of the posters on this thread would conclude that she's from out of town even though she's a Londoner born and bred, and lived in EC2 for over two decades.

Clothing isn't really an accurate signifier of where someone is from. How someone walks down a street or where they stand on an escalator is a whole other matter.

It may be flattering on you, it’s not flattering in the model, it just drowns her in voluminous material.

This

Each to their own but that looks as if it'd be unappealing to both Hoxton Hipsters and Northern Girls out on the razzle.

This is not meant to sound sneery, but much of what's "London" happens outside of zone 1 or at the very parameter of it. I haven't been to a social function in central London in years, apart from a few work things, and much of what I see around there are either groups of people on a Thursday night grabbing a quick drink after work (and thus dressed for work) or groups of tourists. Much of the London "going-out" dressing commented on this thread happens in Hackney Wick, Walthamstow, Peckham or Wembley - at bars or house parties or restaurants. Over the 20 years I've lived in London the focus of where people go out has shifted so significantly; the best cocktail bar in in Bethnal green, or the best food market in Seven Sisters. There you see competitive under dressing, comfort-lead under dressing, "trying-to-fit-in" -under dressing, sequins for breakfast or a million other personal styles that people go for, some very loud and outlandish, and it's one of the reasons I love London. It's much more representative of how people dress socially in London because it removes a large tourist swath from the equation, though not of course fully. It also means people have more likely dressed specifically for the event rather than coming straight from work. I live fairly centrally in London and have never gone home to change before heading back out on a week night.

This is an interesting phenomenon though, because it also transcends the physical boundaries of London. I'm currently on holiday abroad and I look like a little simple sparrow in my navy shorts and cream t-shirt by the pool against all the fancy flamingos from Blackpool, Liverpool and Manchester wearing frills, patterns, lace and dresses with strappy contraptions that I don't even know how to tie. Holiday dressing seems to follow exactly the same format as UK city dressing. FWIW, I think the women do look quite lovely, so I'm in no way sneering - but it's clear they all have a specific holiday wardrobe of kimonos and wraps and half a dozen of bright bikinis whereas I am just wearing my day-to-day stuff, abroad.

Anyhoo, for the OP I like the advice upthread about dressing up one element and keeping the rest casual. I have a silk slip dress and combine it with trainers. If I wore fancy heels, I'd wear them with straight jeans and a simple shirt. However I think I'm lucky because my personal style is one of slight underdressing. I spend the nearly noughties often being the only woman in flats in swanky bars. It's finally my time.

Hoxton isn’t the epicentre of cool anymore anyway. There’ll be people under dressed or over dressed, people trying to be the most edgy and original and those who just wear black all the time. From someone who moved out of London a few years ago I would say people try very hard to look cool, including considered hair (great cut) and make up or no make up more likely. I think you can wear a ‘nice’ dress as long as your hair is not too ‘pretty’, your make up is minimal or edgy - maybe just a line of surprising eye shadow like red? and blazer/jacket not cardigan in evening. And your shoes are edgy. Just think ‘I’m not going to a wedding’. Or better to wear separates if you can. A bias cut skirt maybe in satin or a maxi skirt and trainers seems to be current and great if you’re pear shaped with a t-shirt or vest top if you have good arms. Make sure any trainers or flat forms suit your legs. I personally don’t think the Stan smith style are flattering. You can wear shoes or sandals though for sure (maybe sling back flat?) Groups of people with mandatory trainers look out of date to me.

And to add to that two things: 1) hoodies at the Savoy is very unlikely unless maybe you are Justin Bieber. They made my bf put on a jacket (they have spares) one Sunday lunch.

Personal opinion I guess. I think she looks great. I believe someone further up thread was saying they have this jumpsuit and are always complimented. Luckily we all have different views on what looks good otherwise we would all wear the same things.

Your point about Northern women having a whole holiday wardrobe is interesting. I said something similar above that it seems like they have a whole going out wardrobe full of dresses, heels, clutch bags etc. Maybe Londoners spend their money on things other than piles of clothes? (Or more likely just have less of it… hello exorbitant rents.)

I remember a thread from a woman looking for a special dress for her 30th birthday with a budget of £500. I spent my 30th in Ibiza in an outfit I’d worn dozens of times before!

Totally agree that the social scene has spread well out into zones 2 & 3. Shoreditch and Hoxton are a nightmare now - hard not to sound sneery here, but you can’t move for the Essex crowd on Fridays/Saturdays. If you want to try a new restaurant/bar in the area (because good places do seem to keep opening there for now), you have to go mid-week.

hard not to sound sneery here
Correct. And I speak as someone who gave you the benefit of the doubt the first time.
But you have illustrated - whether intentionally or not - why so many S&B posters feel apprehensive about what to wear when they visit London so thanks for that at least.

I was trying to make this point, but you made it better!

OP please don’t just wear your normal jeans and trainers (a daytime house party is not the same as an evening venue 50th), it will look like you made zero effort and could even come off a bit rude.

Your style is already very low key and casual, so dress slightly up for the evening, not down and safer to go for low heel shoe or boot (though your print trainers may be ok).

So, to summarise, I will be wearing buttery culottes, red eyeshadow and gooey makeup. Possibly pyjamas, definitely not anything sequinned, not heels (thank god), although maybe heels but not with a dress, jeans or maybe not jeans, not a cardigan, not a jumpsuit but then maybe a jumpsuit, and will be artfully underdressed.
It's all so clear now 😂😂😂😂😂

I really don’t think anyone should be worried about what someone who actively avoids an area thinks about their clothing choice when going out in said area?

Besides, I don’t give a damn what the Essex crowd wear - my point is there is a hell of a lot of them, often in big groups, and everywhere in Shoreditch and Hoxton is now unbearably busy, hence many Londoners avoid the area. Worrying about not looking ‘London enough’ in Hoxton is as absurd as worrying about not looking NYC enough in Times Square.

That sounds amazing @mamaduckbone 😀

I will come too and wear a yellow hazmat suit with some jewelled flipflops and a fez 👍