Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

London party outfit

209 replies

mamaduckbone · 27/05/2023 23:07

I've been invited to a party in July - it's a joint 50th birthday bash for 4 of dh's old
Uni friends. They were all very Hoxton and trendy when we lived down in London, but I never was really part of that set and we've lived elsewhere for 20 odd years now so am completely out of touch.

Although we're now all middle aged with kids I know the London lot will still be super stylish. Please help, oh wise mumsnet stylistas - I don't want to look like a small town primary school teacher (even though that's what I am!)
Size 10-12, 5'5", most comfortable in a stripy t-shirt, jeans and converse.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
SocksAndTheCity · 30/05/2023 11:36

I don't think underdressing in London is any particular sort of statement, I think it's mostly because people tend not to live in town so if they're going out it's generally straight from work rather than going home to get changed first and coming back.

I do live in town though, so I'm a bad example. To the OP, I would wear something you already own and know to fit and be comfortable, then you can just chuck it on and forget about it 😊

Usernamen · 30/05/2023 11:58

SocksAndTheCity · 30/05/2023 11:36

I don't think underdressing in London is any particular sort of statement, I think it's mostly because people tend not to live in town so if they're going out it's generally straight from work rather than going home to get changed first and coming back.

I do live in town though, so I'm a bad example. To the OP, I would wear something you already own and know to fit and be comfortable, then you can just chuck it on and forget about it 😊

I nearly always have time to go home and get changed and I still wouldn’t wear an LBD and heels to go out. Ever.

London is just a more casual place. You can go to the Savoy in a hoodie. I was at the Ivy Manchester over the weekend and it was like Strictly Come Dancing - sequins, satin, stilettos during the day. And I was the only woman without a FULL face of make-up on.

I do think it’s funny how Londoners have zero anxiety about being underdressed in somewhere like Manchester and Liverpool (it didn’t even cross my mind to go back to the hotel and change out of jeans and trainers, not that I had packed anything remotely dressy…), but people seem to worry about being overdressed in London all the time. It has to be one of the most common S&B thread topics.

Almahart · 30/05/2023 12:01

I'm a born and bred Londoner and I've been to loads of 50th birthday parties this year, all v casual, apart from the one I went to in Kent where everyone was in sequins and I felt like a massive twat in my jeans. It's hard to get right either way when you're moving a bit out of your normal world

SocksAndTheCity · 30/05/2023 12:05

Well it's great that you do @Usernamen , but most people I know don't - they have 90 minute+ commutes and it's easier to just bring a spare t-shirt to work.

I do agree that London is more casual compared with other cities, but I don't think it's in any particularly contrived way as much as it's practical - we tend to walk a lot more, for example. And we also have far more choice of shops than the average provincial high street - virtually everything I buy is second hand and it's far easier to find interesting things, hence fitting in with other people not really being a fsctor because.everybody looks different anyway Smile.

TWmover · 30/05/2023 13:38

OP, check out Anna Cascarina on Instagram, she does fashion for 40+ women and always looks effortlessly cool, trendy but comfortable. And would have lots of examples of looks in keeping with your jeans and converse comfort zone but a bit more elevated/variance so you'd still feel like yourself but with a twist/updated? Hope that helps

Mirabai · 30/05/2023 17:10

I think what that poster was trying to say is don’t worry about “fitting in” just wear your own style. It wouldn’t occur to me to try and dress Hoxton.

Personally I think wide leg trouser and jeans are two of the hardest things for women to pull off - jeans are particularly unforgiving - so if you look good in them you’ll look good in anything. I don’t know why more confidence would be needed for a dress.

NatashaDancing · 30/05/2023 17:58

PacificState · 30/05/2023 11:28

Also (sorry to bang on, I think it's quite interesting) underdressing/dressing down is pretty much always a power move - it's a sort of status judo throw. Which is just a useful thing to know, I think, if you're going into situations where you're unsure of yourself. It's a little bit of information about England's insane class system (Hoxton types being very much a little evolutionary offshoot within the class system) that I think should be more widely known.

The whole situation in London over the last ten years in which people have increasingly worn baggier, looser, more comfortable clothes and spongy shoes isn't an accident, it's a cultural statement about London's financial and social power within the UK. And it's actually extremely easy for anyone to pull it off if you want to fit in

I mean, don't wear flip flops to a funeral, obviously. But there aren't many situations with status-y people in which wearing less makeup and shabbier clothes won't, in reality, make you look higher status. Obviously at one level status is utter bullshit, and nobody should care, but many of us do. Wearing exactly whatever the hell you like is also a status move.

And, to be clear, I think young women who wear the fanciest frocks and the highest heels and the biggest fascinators to Ladies' Day are bloody brilliant and anyone who sneers at them should get a slap.

And I didn't think it was necessary to sneer at the poster who apparently got it so wrong about what is de rigeur for Hoxton ( you didn't) but others did.

GarlicGrace · 30/05/2023 19:33

I obviously should have stated that I'd wear the dress I suggested with flatform trainers (I wear everything with flatform trainers, unless I'm wearing boots) and a jacket/cardigan/shrug. I just thought it'd be comfortable if it was hot!

I have no cred, though.

Original poster
mamaduckbone · 30/05/2023 20:57

Almahart · 30/05/2023 12:01

I'm a born and bred Londoner and I've been to loads of 50th birthday parties this year, all v casual, apart from the one I went to in Kent where everyone was in sequins and I felt like a massive twat in my jeans. It's hard to get right either way when you're moving a bit out of your normal world

You poor thing - the Kent party sounds like many shades of hell 🤣

The north/south dressing up/down thing is so interesting. I remember spending NYE in the North West (Cumbria) when living in London and was the only person not in a tiny party dress, heels and no coat. Thought it was a cliche but it really wasn't.

Now, I live in the Midlands and it is half way between the two, as perhaps you'd expect. The proper born and bred locals will put on a leopard print frock and heels for a party at the rugby club, whereas the out-of-towners are more likely to be jeans, trainers and a nice top. It would make a fascinating study (I'm sure it's been done)

The party doesn't even start until 9.30, which is pretty much bedtime any other night, so maybe I'll just make a massive statement and go in my PJs...

(Now hoping that no one else who's going is on this thread and puts 2&2 together. Then I really would feel like a massive twat)

OP posts:
ecuse · 30/05/2023 22:59

Just jumping on this thread to say I know the type of crowd you mean and completely agree with all those suggesting a good jumpsuit or a good dress but something with a quirky print or block colour or something not too dressy. And maybe some good accessories. Don't try to hard with something slinky.

everythingcrossed · 30/05/2023 23:19

Mirabai · 29/05/2023 20:33

Why is MN so obsessed with jumpsuits?!

Good question. Generally frumpy and unflattering.

Speak for yourself. I look awesome in mine.

hopsalong · 30/05/2023 23:32

Honestly, I would wear something that you already have or would normally buy. Really no good trying too hard. Just be the person you are and wear something you feel happy in.

That said, if you fancy a new dress you could do worse than look the various higher-end H&M brands, eg &OtherStories, Arket etc. This would be a useful and flexible dress, for example, if you quite like your legs and like red! www.stories.com/en_gbp/clothing/dresses/mini-dresses/product.knot-detail-mini-dress-red.0700528012.html

LuluBlakey1 · 30/05/2023 23:58

Rina66 · 28/05/2023 11:14

I like a lot of the Nobody's Child dresses...

www.nobodyschild.com/dresses/occasionwear/evening-dresses.html

Ooh , some really nice dresses there!

Blueink · 30/05/2023 23:59

Jumpsuit, metallic belt and kitten heels
Wouldn’t wear a dress

Blueink · 31/05/2023 00:10

Jeans and trainers are probably too casual even for scruffy Londoners as it’s a 50th and evening event

WakeMeUpWhenGoodOmensIsBack · 31/05/2023 00:16

I'm in the mood for new trainers and not sure what to get so I've been staring at hundreds of fashionable women's feet out and about in Central London for the past few days in a faintly Tarantino-sequel way.

My key conclusion is that the secret to looking current is to make sure that your jeans/trousers finish at the ankle bone and show a clear inch of skin between them and your shoes (trainer socks optional). Absolutely vital.

So I'd go for new jeans or other trousers of a current length and width (if you don't already have a pair you're happy with), either trainers or clumpy comfy sandals, a perfect white T shirt, and a linen blazer in whichever colour you fancy, or possibly a Chanel-a-like tweed cropped jacket (I'm seeing a surprising number of red ones). Would have the advantage that all the component bits would be really useful in everyday life, especially a linen blazer.

Inspired by this image in a site upthread - although I'd go light on top not dark.

London party outfit
Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 31/05/2023 01:01

A little black dress and strappy heels is a classic look. Not sure why people are mocking it? Better yet throw a blazer over top or a leather jacket and you are good to go. It's not exactly ground breaking and out there. It's classic.

There are many versions of the little black dress.

I would probably go with jeans, strappy shoes, cute top and blazer.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 31/05/2023 01:02

Wide leg trousers are lovely but can make people look short and squat. I prefer straight legged myself.

Rina66 · 31/05/2023 06:12

They also stock Nobody's Child on ASOS @LuluBlakey1 so you can quite often get 20% off

NatashaDancing · 31/05/2023 06:33

SunshineCrescent · 30/05/2023 22:13

I'm not sure what it is about those dresses but they all look as if they should be much cheaper than the actual prices.

CamoTeaLaLa · 31/05/2023 07:44

I had a similar situation last weekend! Went back to the big city, after living in the north for a decade. I am often underdressed but complimented here (!) but out of touch with precisely what’s going on back home. However, do believe I’ve still got the right feel for it, like you say ✌🏼

I went to a groover’s 50th and wore a khaki parachute[1] jumpsuit, gold belt and earrings (silver ‘permanent’ jewellery) with B&W Adidas slides. I was over dressed 👍🏼 It was the gold pieces that tipped it over. I also went to a christening in wide legged[2] jeans, same belt, same Adidas, white t-shirt and black blazer and it was fine as everyone else was overdressed imo.

I hope you have a great time 😎Final thought: I’d always default to black if I really wasn’t sure.

[1] have to be parachute as I’m too short for wide legged

[2] but sometimes wide legged is OK

faffadoodledo · 31/05/2023 07:54

Just want to say that I'm not going to a cool party in Hoxtom but i absolutely LOVE these threads. It throws up so much interesting stuff that I wouldn't consider looking at. But now love!

faffadoodledo · 31/05/2023 07:57

And I still think it's coolest to be the smiliest, friendliest and most polite person in the room. So to that extent you must just wear what you like. Would love to see what you eventually go for OP x

Mirabai · 31/05/2023 08:06

everythingcrossed · 30/05/2023 23:19

Speak for yourself. I look awesome in mine.

Show quote history

I don’t wear them as I don’t like them. It’s based on what I see - even the models in the pics can’t pull them off.