London party outfit

[mamaduckbone]

I've been invited to a party in July - it's a joint 50th birthday bash for 4 of dh's old
Uni friends. They were all very Hoxton and trendy when we lived down in London, but I never was really part of that set and we've lived elsewhere for 20 odd years now so am completely out of touch.

Although we're now all middle aged with kids I know the London lot will still be super stylish. Please help, oh wise mumsnet stylistas - I don't want to look like a small town primary school teacher (even though that's what I am!)
Size 10-12, 5'5", most comfortable in a stripy t-shirt, jeans and converse.

I was in Anthropologie in real life this afternoon 😱 I was very impressed - this top was gorgeous, would look great dressed down with jeans or dressed up with a leather skirt..

www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/by-anthropologie-sheer-puff-sleeve-top?category=tops-detailed-dressy&color=066&type=REGULAR&quantity=1

@PacificState I very much doubt that!
Feeling a bit more relaxed about the whole thing now, thank you!

I have this in the navy blue and I get so many compliments when I wear it. I’m a bit shorter than the OP and bigger. But I feel amazing in this and always pair with my white Nikes.

I'm not exactly a delicate wisp. Anthropologie makes me look like a sofa

That’s why Gemma Collins (given as an example of larger lady style on another thread here) seems to look good. She goes fur tent dresses or tent tunics, wide legged trousers. I know me at a size 12 and 5ft5 looked ok but verging on looking not ok. God knows what bigger women look like and no I’m not fat shaming.

Why is MN so obsessed with jumpsuits?! I live and work just next to Hoxton and the Hoxton/East End locals don't have the same jumpsuit fixation (5 years ago they did but not now).

OP, just wear whatever you feel comfortable in. East London is all about not trying too hard and being comfortable in your own skin. But for that reason, I'd keep away from all the high street links being shared on this thread. The high street isn't very Hoxton, unless it's preloved high street. 😏Have a look on Vinted and see if anything takes your fancy there. That's much more in keeping with the East London ethos (it's all about sustainability as well as being individual).

I also have the COS jumpsuit in blue and it is amazing. The cut is really interesting, and it is comfortable to wear.

Why is MN so obsessed with jumpsuits?!

Good question. Generally frumpy and unflattering.

@mamaduckbone the clothes you already have sound great, I wouldn't spend a load of money on something you wouldn't otherwise buy. People will be massively casual.

@MetaDaughter do you enjoy being so rude ?? Just because you don’t like someone’s choice there’s no need to be do insulting.

I just went to two similarish events (one a 40th, the other a combined birthday/launch event). Both at east London bars. To the slightly more formal one, I wore a black v-neck long-sleeve cos jumpsuit, black mules and red lipstick with my hair up. To the less formal one, a charcoal midi satin skirt with a black graphic tee and flatform trainers. I think definitely think outside the traditional dress (unless that's what you're comfortable with) and have fun!

Cos website is down and they have given me a 10% discount- COS10XMR

if it’s if any use to anyone.

Ted Baker is definitely worth a look - 30% off on some lines at the moment.

i got this one for a 50th :
https://www.tedbaker.com/uk/p/Womens/Clothing/Dresses/Floral-Dresses/PRIANA-Poppy-Print-Tie-Front-Mini-Dress-Black/270497-BLACK

by the way - it’s not as short on the average sized person as it looks on the model..

+1

I have yet to see anybody in a jumpsuit who wouldn't have looked infinitely better wearing something (pretty much anything) else.

I don't think I've ever seen an item of clothing that is so unflattering to the average bum as a jumpsuit. Plus there's the toileting issue.

I do love a matching top and pants combo though and think that achieves a similar look while letting you choose the separates that fit and suit you best.

Oh I assumed MetaDaughter was trying to be helpful - giving advice from her own experience of that awful time when the agency didn't brief her and she thought she was meeting a Russian oligarch at Annabel's and it turned out it was Hoxton Hipster in Hackney.

The shame …

There are some odd posts on here tho' - from the "boho types" yet who strictly follow "a code which is very much not 'dressing up' " and are so concerned about fitting in.

The poster you sneered at was maybe thinking of a Robert Palmer girl vibe. It's not a look I'd go for (couldn't fit into the dress and couldn't cope with the heels) but not sure why it deserved to be mocked.

If I were going to this party I'd wear one of my bonkers dresses from designers like Eponine or Batsheva and if the Hoxton crowd can't cope with my not fitting in that's their problem not my mine.

This is what I was going to suggest. A fitted trouser suit with a lovely cami and heels/ wedges

I was going to suggest Vinted. I think 90% of my current wardrobe is off Vinted! Get a few possibles and re-sell the pieces you don't wear via the same site.

That's really great that you would wear a 'bonkers dress' by a couture company - I'm sure you would actually fit right in as you would feel confident and look distinctive and original. (Lovely dresses btw, I'm sure you look fabulous)

However, I have neither the budget or confidence to do that, and sadly don't have many bonkers designer dresses knocking about in my wardrobe, so what you would wear doesn't help a great deal with my original question. It actually is a little bit crap to bowl in with an 'I'm so confident and fabulous that I don't care what other people think' comment, when someone is feeling anything but that.

I've received some really helpful advice on this thread, as well as some suggestions that would be entirely inappropriate both for the event and me. (basically anything involving a dress and heels)I still appreciate the effort of everyone who has responded with links and suggestions, and have discovered a few new shops to investigate. Thanks folks!

@NoWayRose @everythingcrossed I actually do have a pair of me&em wide legged trousers that are on the shortlist, so perhaps not a lost case after all 😆

@Almahart - thank you 😊
There's something about this particular group of people (who are all lovely and not at all judgy btw) which sends me into a style tailspin.
Dh has told me to wear my jeans and get a grip!

@NatashaDancing you've quoted my line about 'the code is very much not dressing up' and then ignored the bit at the end where I said 'you don't have to fit in'. One of my best friends was at the same party and was wearing a massive quilted skirt and rubber clogs. She was definitely dressed up and she looked fabulous, but she's the sort of person who likes to use her clothes to make a statement and she was comfortable doing that in that context. Not everyone is.

The OP (who sounds lovely) has obviously got a bit of anxiety about this particular situation, something that I 100% empathise with. (My personal hell is social occasions with people who are wealthy, unshowy upper middle class types who live in the country - I always get that one wrong no matter what I do). Sometimes, you just want to fit in. Sometimes you're happy to stand out. There are probably some situations in which the OP likes to wear a LBD and false eyelashes. It's all fine.

Also (sorry to bang on, I think it's quite interesting) underdressing/dressing down is pretty much always a power move - it's a sort of status judo throw. Which is just a useful thing to know, I think, if you're going into situations where you're unsure of yourself. It's a little bit of information about England's insane class system (Hoxton types being very much a little evolutionary offshoot within the class system) that I think should be more widely known.

The whole situation in London over the last ten years in which people have increasingly worn baggier, looser, more comfortable clothes and spongy shoes isn't an accident, it's a cultural statement about London's financial and social power within the UK. And it's actually extremely easy for anyone to pull it off if you want to fit in

I mean, don't wear flip flops to a funeral, obviously. But there aren't many situations with status-y people in which wearing less makeup and shabbier clothes won't, in reality, make you look higher status. Obviously at one level status is utter bullshit, and nobody should care, but many of us do. Wearing exactly whatever the hell you like is also a status move.

And, to be clear, I think young women who wear the fanciest frocks and the highest heels and the biggest fascinators to Ladies' Day are bloody brilliant and anyone who sneers at them should get a slap.