I truly hate how I've aged - help

[NotmykingEatCake]

I'm early 40s. I look older, I hate it. All my life I was complimented on looking younger. My
Mum looks at least 10 years younger than she is.

But then DH died 7 years ago and all the strain of grief and lone parenting tiny kids went to my face.

And my hair is grey, ffs.

I dye my hair but use zero products,

I want any and all suggestions pls for not looking so freakin ancient, I have budget. Does anything actually work?

I bit the bullet and got botox for the first time 2 months ago. I'm 45. Everyone keeps commenting on how fresh and amazing my skin looks - but nobody has guessed. I had a small amount to start and my features still move. I was terrified! But now think it's brilliant! If you want to try, start with small amounts, you can go for a top up, and it wears off in 4-6 months and will stop wrinkles forming and deepening in that time.

I don't mind looking my age, don't need to look younger.. but I don't want to look older. I'll happily look older when I am that age.

The best product I've ever used that truly works and provides a lift is Isabella Garcini Advanced Lifting Serum. It is not a one day thing either. When mine finished my face kept the lift for ages. I bought another 3 months later and will never swap it for something else or stop using it.

Where do you buy and how much please?

Sorry, what do you mean ''get your colours done''? Hair colour?

I genuinely don't understand why botox is suggested so often, as a kind of miracle, fix all option. Isn't it just used on your forehead? I'm late 30's (not for much longer..) and yes, I do have fine lines on my forehead and the beginnings of the 11's - currently more a 1 😁 but I honestly don't think I'd look better with botox.

I can see it a mile off! It might look very smooth (and shiny!) but I think it adds volume and makes the forehead protrude slightly.

OP, there are loads of non invasive things you can do that will knock a few years off. Just invest in yourself a little more. Good skin care, maybe have a make up consultation and invest in higher end make up, drink more water, eat less sugar etc. It will help.

I's the colours that suit you , your natural hair and skin colour .
That's how far I got with it as it goes into Cool/Warm Spring.Summer/Autumn/Winter

There are loads of advisors ( online or in person) and loads of people swear they waste less money as they don't buy clothes that don't suit . You might like a colour but it might make you look dug up .

I did a quick search ages ago and it recommended turquoise and a shade of yellow that I wouldn't touch .
But I bought some cheap TShirts and discovered orange (a red/orange) really suits my face .

I;ve nticed a few expression lines above my right eyes , I think because I wear a mask at work so my eyes and forehead are the only visible bit to show my emotions ?

Botox If you go to see a good cosmetic doctor, they will advise on what's needed. I didn't go along to the Cosmetic Skin Clinic saying 'I want Botox'. I went along for a consultation, saying what I didn't like about my face.

I was told Botox was not the answer and that fillers were what was needed.

I had a tiny amount as their philosophy is to under-do at first and see how it looks.

Anyway, there are zillions of things the OP can try without going down that route. She's still very young and I was 15 years older than her before I had any treatment.

@NotmykingEatCake why not go to a store and have a consultation at a counter like Bobbi Brown, Estee Lauder, Lancome etc and see what they suggest? You can have a free make over. I look terrible with no make up as I'm very pale. A bit of blusher and the right tone of lipstick can do wonders.

Oh I've never heard of this, I'm going to look into it, thank you!

There are loads of threads on S&B as well about having colours done and What Am I ? ( but it's not just as simple as Winter/Summer , I couldn't get the hang of it , I think it does need someone to go through it and have many colour swatches )

Have fun searching

As others have said Botox would probably have the biggest impact the quickest but I guess that would cost a lot. It's not something I'm interested in and I don't think I could afford it anyway.

You need a good retinol or even better Tretinoin. I use Skin+Me I'll put my code below for a free months trial it's just £3.50 for p&p.

www.skinandme.com/?promocode=LAURENS5YP3

You start seeing effects by about 3 months but it's a long game and you won't see proper results for about a year.

My doser also contains niacinamide and Azelaic acid. You use it at night once a day. I don't usually use anything else at night apart from a gentle cleanser I use superdrugs B cleansing balm.

My skin is very oily but if I need a moisturise surge I apply a moisturiser or oil and then follow with vaseline about 10 mins later to seal the moisture in and then sleep with it on. By the morning it's all absorbed and my skin feels amazing.

In the day I use no7 eye cream and boots collegen moisturiser with SPF 30. I then apply my make up and use a foundation with SPF 50.

Skin+me have just released a SPF 50 moisturiser, which subscribes are able to add for free to try before they buy at the moment so I'm going to try that, it's oil free and apparently doesn't give a white cast to the skin.

Aside from the Botox/fillers etc mentioned abundantly upthread, the main things are:

Going to bed an hour earlier
No alcohol
More water
More outdoor activities (wearing spf)

Honestly, those four fairly simple and free actions/behaviours will improve how you look and feel.

Look up Ashtanga Yoga and find a class near you. Made a huge difference to me.

🙄

I'm 48 and usually my age is guessed by strangers around 36.

How does that come about - strangers telling you how old they think you are?

Light Botox. I only get it every 6 months. I sometimes think I won’t bother again as it doesn’t much that much difference. But when it wears off I do see the difference as I just look tired.

You can only see it when it’s done in an obvious way. So you think that is what Botox looks like. It doesn’t look like that when it’s not overdone.

I found out a few years ago that the majority of women I know had been having it for years. I had no idea until it came up in conversation! None of them had that Botox look.

Do you apply instead of moisturiser or as well as?

Yep they really don't think that. Everyone looks their age.

@Cotswoldmama You should use separate SPF not one in moisturiser. Dermos give this advice all the time.
The ratio of SPF in moisturiser is very low, and the same with foundation.

Look at some of the facial SPFs from Ultrasun. Made in Switzerland and with high UVA and UVB protection. The best ones they do won't show white under your make up.

It’s to do with finding what colours to wear, that work with your colouring. It makes a massive difference to your appearance to wear colours that suit you and work together . Just Google ‘get colours done near me’

@Skyluck Im not - sorry.

@ArcticBells I usually apply Spf over moisturiser if I'm using one that is fairly non greasy (I'm using a Beauty of Joseon one that is really light at the moment). Or I do have a No 7 one that I tend to apply instead of moisturiser (after a serum) as it feels really moisturising and quite heavy.

@GeekyDiva80 we all want to know where to get this miracle cream! I found Isabella Garcia online but it's in South Africa- where do you get yours?