Thread for women who will not be defeated by menopause/ peri

[Marmaladegin]

I'm 42 and have recently been diagnosed with peri. To be clear, I'm comfortable with my age. But I need to find a style that I find both comfortable and hip, and not feel that everything is sliding downhill into being someone I don't recognise. I do not love the term "princessing" but I suppose this thread is about "queening", and also clothes stuff. Here are the challenges I'm experiencing, that I'm intending to battle and would love company.

You are going through it early. That must have been shock . I’m 40 and I think it’s far too young to be coping with it.

I’ve had PCOS and weird hormonal stuff all my life and was told fairly young I should get on with having children because my fertility was likely going to be a problem later on. We started trying for a baby when I was 21 and successfully carried my only living child to term at 30. I then didn’t have a period again after he was born and was officially declared in menopause when he was about 18 months. They tried a lot of things to stimulate my cycle but it just never came back and then the symptoms started and hormone levels confirmed it basically.

I found infertility much more of a mental strain than early menopause, but I think that’s because I’m just grateful my body grew my boy before it totally gave up!

now I’m in this weird limbo where I can’t get HRT so they put me on the pill but that really messed me up so I’m back asking for HRT.

I will add there’s no way to know whether this is temporary or permanent menopause either, but I’ve been told to assume it’s permanent.

Anyway, I potentially have 20 years on HRT ahead of me so I could do with diet and coping strategies I think!

I’m glad you like it, they have become a bit of a habit for me but I am trying for quality over quantity with my wardrobe purchases.

Joining the club! Very useful advice. I am mid 50's and have seen a huge change in my shape. Much larger chest and middle age spread but I am trying to just love who I am. Ive embraced both my silver hair and the curly girl method but just started this and am pleasantly surprised just how curly my hair is and how much I love it.
I went started meno at around 50 and 5 years down the line, I think I have got passed most of the hot flushes. They still come back but rarely, thank goodness.
Ive invested in a foreo mini bear to combat losing my jaw line and it is slowly making a slight difference or maybe it is just wishful thinking!
Clothing wise, I wear a lot of Toast clothes. I am loving their balloon trousers, a shape I have never considered before. I also tucked my tee in and my lovely dd said it looked good! I have never been a tuck-in person!

A friend has done the curly girl method too, with great results. I considered it, but I’ve gone down the opposite route - on impulse I bought a hair drying brush when they were on offer at Christmas, after reading about them on here.

I’ve always been very low maintenance with hair; it has a tendancy to frizz so my whole life I’ve gone with the tousled, finger combed look. But with an increasingly lined face and a no-longer-svelte figure, I’d become less beach babe and more bag lady.

It felt a bit late in life to be starting to learn how to do hair, old dog new tricks etc plus I’m naturally lazy, BUT it is SO easy and I just can’t believe what a difference it makes. Friends started doing double takes and saying “Been to the salon?”

It’s really given me a boost, for a very cheap, low effort change.

ooh, @VenusClapTrap - what is the brush you use? Do you mean a hot brush? I've been a lifelong hair straightener because I just feel so scruffy and unprofessional with hair that manages to be curly and a bit flat simultaneously. Addicted to GHD straighteners, and before that, those Japanese chemical straightening treatments (3 times in 5 years, and then my hair started breaking, so I went back to GHDs). I did have a short crop for some years to sidestep the pfaff, but I don't see that as an option now I am past my gamine moment.

Yes it’s a hot brush. I think it’s this one, although mine has a sort of ‘D’ shape profile rather than oval, but I can’t find any links to any like that so maybe they’ve changed the design? It was only December though! It was on 50% off at the time so maybe keep a look out for offers.

https://www.boots.com/revlon-pro-collection-one-step-dryer-volumiser-10235019?cm_mmc=bmm-buk-google-ppc--PLAs_HeroCompare--Electrical_Beauty_Hair-_-UK_Smart_Shopping_Electrical_Beauty_Hair&gbraid=0AAAAADrIajX1_OqqNM4gL8Xdatt9Kem5L&gclid=CjwKCAjwo7iiBhAEEiwAsIxQEdFGVlpLPLKTB8QqFbCji71K094L-ayI5zwQs7Rpvr5dNffzaR2dBRoC_AAQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

cheers! my mum is also interested in trying these out, so I will keep an eye out for offers and if it doesn't work for me, it may work for her.

You’ve been through a lot. I’m so glad you got your beautiful DS.

@SunsetBeauregarde I would have thought it will be crucial for you to go onto Hrt right away due to the risk of osteoporosis. A very early menopause increases this risk. Will your Gp refer you to a specialist? Sorry you've had to go through all this at such a young age.

Anyone tried a Gua Sha? I started using one last night, and I can see differences this morning already, my skin feels more toned and my eyebags had gone down slightly. There's something to it, and I recommend!

I'm 50 and relate to nearly everything on this thread.. Apart from the lack of sleep, hair thinning etc, my eyebags have gotten huge and was really getting me down lately.

Michael I ordered one last week and it arrived yesterday. Figured using it while swigging wine may be counterproductive so will be trying it later. It's pretty and feels nice so if nothing else I've got a pleasing paperweight.

i love this thread.

I am 51 and peri menopausal (irregular). I started hrt due to depression, brain fog and sleeplessness and am feeling so much better now. However, I have gained quite some weight, almost all on my midriff and gone from hourglass to Apple - but with big boobs and bight thighs, so really struggle to dress nicely. Nothing really fits in my wardrobe (apart from a couple of new work dresses), my hair is thinning and my nails are so bad.

on the positive side, I am feeling physically great due to lots of Pilates and weight lifting and I have started to blow dry my hair with a round brush which make it look much nicer. I also went to the Bobbi Brown counter and asked for a full face makeup to see what I should change - ended up buying a couple of products as well.

my current challenge is a wardrobe reboot (and wrinkle /eyebag minimising) so am loving all the tips on this thread!!

@Beautiful3 what difference did you notice giving up caffeine? I drink way too much so interested to know!

Yes I have a referral to a endocrinologist, the waiting list here is 18 months, I’m booked in for august. I’ve seen a few specialists in the past year but no one seems sure what to do with me on account of my age.

No HRT until they decide whether it’s permanent or temporary apparently because my periods never came back after a birth. I did point out that I’ve had 8 miscarriages and even after the 2nd trimester ones, my periods were back within a couple of months but they were convinced it was birth related until I got my hormones tested and it confirmed menopause. They tried cyclical hormonal treatments to stimulate my periods for a while but gave up on that after a few months. Being on HRT for a very long time also comes with health implications so I think they were trying to avoid it as long as possible.

Also joining ! I'm in peri at the moment, no periods for almost a year now. Trouble sleeping, unbalanced, hot sweats (and cold!) and all of that. Rosacea I'm going to try again for HRT this week.
My hair is curlier now, skin is drier, weight is harder to keep off even though I exercise a lot.

I definitely have more facial hair, it's like a fine transparent down hair near jawline and chin. What do people use for hair removal? Is it those mini facial razors?

The Revlon one step is fantastic. I'm hoping in the end that the curly girl method will end up less maintenance. Maybe I am fooling myself!

I had terrible palpitations [ perhaps caused by menopause, I was told] that made me give up caffeine too. I don't think I feel any different from giving it up. I ended up getting diagnosed with high bp so that was that.

@neveradullmoment99 My anxiety levels seem to have rocketed so wondering if cutting out the caffeine might help. It’s what keeps me going though! Did the palpitations get worse after caffeine, despite that not being the actual cause, or did it turn out to be completely unrelated?

It’s worth taking vitamin D - I was having very regular palpitations with maybe a good cause, but was given Vit D after shielding. Took it for 3 months and palpitations significantly less and I felt generally better. This was pre HRT.

My palpitations were caused by low ferritin.

I gave up caffeine cold turkey by accidentally buying decaf tea 😀 and on the third day I had a splitting headache that nothing would shift and passed out for four hours in the middle of the afternoon.
If I wanted to do it on purpose I'd wean myself off, it's a gentler transition.