Thread for women who will not be defeated by menopause/ peri

[Marmaladegin]

I'm 42 and have recently been diagnosed with peri. To be clear, I'm comfortable with my age. But I need to find a style that I find both comfortable and hip, and not feel that everything is sliding downhill into being someone I don't recognise. I do not love the term "princessing" but I suppose this thread is about "queening", and also clothes stuff. Here are the challenges I'm experiencing, that I'm intending to battle and would love company.

Jumped out at me a bit, too.

You and me both

I must be going mad - if you are all talking about the list of 66 symptoms posted upthread I can't see that word at all!

From someone who's had severe PCOS all my life which has much of the same body impacts as peri including hot sweats etc:

Get measured for bras twice in the same month: once when your boobs are massive and once when they chill the fuck out. Buy 2 big boob bras and 5 small boob bras and rotate as/ when needed. The difference in mine is 3 cup sizes.

Bin all your shapewear immediately, if you're wearing the right clothes you don't need it. Shapewear will make you hot and uncomfortable and is designed to torture us.

For the newly apple shaped: A-line everything. Midi length a-line skirts worn under the boob with a cinching belt and a top that has puffy shoulders will give you back an hourglass. Mad colours or patterns on the skirt with plain black or white on the top will always look stylish and put together. Equally, a jumper tucked into the skirt at the front and left out at the back will work too. Also a line skirts will breathe and stop you feeling too hot.

Wrap dresses will fit on the bust if you're wearing the right bra, invest in safety pins because they're often low cut, but it's worth it.

Snag tights - fit beautifully and they breathe, you'll feel much less hot.

For facial hair: keep a pair of tweezers in your car. You'll get the random hairs that bother you while you're stuck in traffic etc and it helps keep on top of it.

If you're struggling with BO - use bar soaps and roll on deodorant, never gels and sprays.

I'm glad the previous poster has found out her sartorial equation. But can I just say as an apple shaped square rectangle I look absolutely dreadful in puff sleeves & A line skirts. And mad colours on the bottom .... Just no! And I absolutely detest snag tights & the way they're advertised.
Plus at 59 & on Hrt my boobs do not not inflate & deflate but stay the same, albeit a little bigger than before. Even after losing some weight. I didn't know Pcos causes that but it sounds intriguing. But then I'm not an expert & wouldn't dare to comment.

You know the brilliant thing about threads where everyone is sharing experiences is that you get exposed to people who have different experiences to yours and there is absolutely no obligation to agree or disagree, or follow the advice in any way.

I looked again and I think it's been altered now. It was in the 'Clumsiness' section.

I mostly look awful in belts - always have done, even when very skinny.

Same here with belts. There’s no cinching to be done. I look like a potato with a ribbon tied round it.

Following.

Fair enough, belts have worked for me when under boob, then a bigger shoulder (I'm not talking 80's shoulder pads here!) balances out my bottom half and gives me back a 'smaller' section of my body in the middle which makes it look like i might have a waist again! I'm dressing completely differently than I did pre-menopause so it's been a bit of a process to find something I dont think looks hideous.

I'm 32, so going through full blown menopause very early and I'm having to do a lot of mental gymnastics to make myself ok with it. More than all the theropy and other stuff I've had to have to help me come to terms with it, finding a style I think looks good that i can wear without thinking about it much has really helped. Pathetic really but I'll take anything that works frankly!

Thanks to the pp who recommended the One Hundred Stars dress upthread.

Mine arrived today and it’s a great shape. Hides a multitude of carbs sins.

I love there stork dresses, too spendy for me atm tho

Really interesting thread.

I'm jumping on board!

Which pattern did you choose ? I prefer a smaller pattern usually, so I’m struggling !

I got the Eccentric Blooms. Gorgeous colours.

I got an Oodie sleep Tee last summer. Not cheap I know, but the fabric is strangely cool and it wafts the air around you as you move. I don’t sleep in mine, just pop it on after my evening bath/shower.

Only problem is, I want the rest now.

If anyone’s wondering about sizes, I’m a 12-14 with a tummy, and I got the S-M.

Joining - this thread is fantastic thank you.
just turned 50, another tall hourglass who has put on 2 stone and now look decidedly matronly.
I had been unwell and so putting on a bit of weight was initially good, wasn’t paying attention to diet particularly & exercise has never been something I was dedicated to ( I read a lot ….)
I would like to feel better and not be annoyed by dieting not working, so will concentrate on:

1. 16/8 way of eating as much as possible. I don’t think gluten is my friend so will look to reduce
2. no mindless snacking, drink more water
3. move more - so much room for improvement here. Will restart the 30 days yoga as I make way too much noise when standing up
4. urgent wardrobe de clutter - have always worn fitted items as oversized/baggy has never worked for my enormous boobs, but lots of old items that I just won’t wear again. This will give me space to see what I need to replace. I have already ordered 2 cos T-shirts
5. have started HRT but think it needs a tweak

so not unhappy but a big sense of could/should do better.

Right, I’ve made an absolute belter of a summer find.

M&S high waisted wide leg linen mix trousers. They come in quite funky colours; they’re not pure linen, so you don’t end up looking like you’re wearing an old tissue from the bottom of a handbag; they have a deep elasticated drawstring waist, so they’re quite sucky-in; and they’re £25!

I’ve got them in bright green, navy with a wide white pinstripe, black, and white. I plan to live in them on holiday and for the three days of summer we might get across August in the UK.

cracking trousers

I love those @LunaNorth what’s the length like?

I’m 5ft 7 but don’t have very long legs, and the regular are perfect on me.

They come in different lengths though.

Well I think it's a lovely thread!
52 here, very peri. Started HRT which gave me the munches which on top of already being overweight has been pretty disasterous. 12 and a half stone.... and like most posters, around the middle. Am trying low carbing... Really don't want to stay this heavy!! I'm wearing more dresses (casualjersey mainly, fat face, white company) and jeans with a vest and open shirt/cardi seems to distract a bit from the tum. I've actually found m and s better for staples recently.

Oh and I highly recommend a wool duvet to banish the night sweats!