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Original poster

Thread for women who will not be defeated by menopause/ peri

326 replies

Marmaladegin · 16/04/2023 07:26

I'm 42 and have recently been diagnosed with peri. To be clear, I'm comfortable with my age. But I need to find a style that I find both comfortable and hip, and not feel that everything is sliding downhill into being someone I don't recognise. I do not love the term "princessing" but I suppose this thread is about "queening", and also clothes stuff. Here are the challenges I'm experiencing, that I'm intending to battle and would love company.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
neveradullmoment99 · 01/05/2023 19:32

PixiesAndUnicorns · 01/05/2023 10:06

@neveradullmoment99 My anxiety levels seem to have rocketed so wondering if cutting out the caffeine might help. It’s what keeps me going though! Did the palpitations get worse after caffeine, despite that not being the actual cause, or did it turn out to be completely unrelated?

The palpitations are less now. I was told to try cutting it back because it can help. Saying that, I'm now on high bp meds, so I'm sure that that's also helped.

neveradullmoment99 · 01/05/2023 19:35

DustyLee123 · 01/05/2023 10:54

My palpitations were caused by low ferritin.

My bloods came back fine so I reckon mine was triggered by high bp and intake of caffeine.

ImAvingOops · 02/05/2023 08:33

My palpitations stopped completely when I started HRT. I was previously advised to give up caffeine but it didn't make a difference

HooverIsAlwaysBroken · 02/05/2023 13:05

I have just bought a new pair of trousers which actually fit…, gutted that I am two sizes up though but am trying to stay positive!

Isadeer · 03/05/2023 12:34

I tried derma planing/blading after reading here. It's not only got rid of fine peach fuzz but exfoliated some dry skin I didn't know I had.

It's a tiny bit peeling on lower face(using Vaseline and Rodrigo oil at night), but so smooth and my skin hasn't looked so amazing in years.

Isadeer · 03/05/2023 12:35

Rodrigo oil is rose hip Hmm

PixiesAndUnicorns · 03/05/2023 13:18

I’ve been meaning to come back and update with things which have helped for me, which has only made me realise how little is working for me at the moment! 😭

It feels like I only need to look at a big meal to put on lbs, I’m actually finding the effort it takes just to maintain my weight quite stressful. My hair has developed a mind of its own, sometimes fine, sometimes uncontrollable fluff. I’m growing more facial hair than my teenage son. My usual wardrobe is starting to look not quite right, but I’m not sure yet what needs to change. And I look so shattered that people are commenting on it.

It’s actually the emotional changes I’m finding harder though, and the dreams!! I have so many dreams at the moment.

Sagittariusrising · 03/05/2023 13:48

@LunaNorth I also have those trousers in the emerald green and navy with stripe. They're fabulous. M&S have had some great things this year.

BigSkies2022 · 03/05/2023 16:33

@PixiesAndUnicorns I've had chin and lip hair for years (dark haired, pale skinned) and it's gradually increasing. The tough ones I remove with tweezers, but I've started 'dermaplaning' with these Japanese blades that are kindly described on the packaging as 'eyebrow razors', (because women don't like advertising we might want to shave our faces, I suppose). They're cheap and safe and leave skin nice and smooth. Caroline Hirons, skin-care guru, shaves and if it's good enough for her...

I figure the money I save doing this rather than laser hair-removal (which was my original thought) I can spend on Botox and/or leg vein removal.

Original poster
Marmaladegin · 05/05/2023 21:15

Happy weekend everyone! This week a caved and chemically straightened my hair with this stuff. COCOCHOCO Gold 24k Keratin hair Treatment F100ml amzn.eu/d/hh170Bx
Slightly feel bad as I love my peri curls but they are just too much work to maintain in the working week. I really rate 25 benefits spray by redken if you're into straight/wavy- it makes my (decidedly not soft) hair, soft, shiny and bouncy. And though it's expensive, you only need a little.

Does anyone want to join me for "a whole week without (insert your vice here- in my case wine and chocolate in the evenings on the sofa)"? My diet is good (veggie, eat lots of greens and whole foods, little simple carbs) and I exercise (HIIT x 1 or 2, power yoga x 2 per week, active job) but I also have a sweet tooth and use sugar to prop myself up in the evenings when exhausted. However I've realised that the majority of my wardrobe now never gets worn because it doesn't fit, so I've got to take action. Anyone want to join me? My willpower is awful. I'm starting today.

OP posts:
HooverIsAlwaysBroken · 05/05/2023 22:02

Oooh… I need to join, but am struggling to get through the days with tiredness and brain fog. Sometimes the chocolate thought of wine keeps me going. I will have a think, may join with “drink 1 l water per day, eat vitamins and have nice painted nails if that is ok? I always think I will do those things, then…..

CliffsofMohair · 06/05/2023 08:20

I’m in @Marmaladegin

DustyLee123 · 06/05/2023 08:22

I’m finding that when I’m flagging its chocolate or coffee I need , and I don’t want to be addicted to it, so got to do something about it.

Original poster
Marmaladegin · 06/05/2023 09:45

Excellent @CliffsofMohair 💪

@DustyLee123 I'm going to take that as you're in too 👏 let's see if we can manage a week!

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no1amc · 07/05/2023 07:54

Beautifully descriptive language Very emotive and actually inspiring I am sorry you feel this way but sounds like you are about to change what’s happening to you

Topsyturvey10 · 07/05/2023 08:12

I could see myself changing a few years go and felt like I'd lost my way with clothes and my body shape changed, I couldn't shift 20lbs at all.

I joined a 10 week challenge with a local PT and lost the 20lbs (miracle) the key points were 10k steps, 30% protein, limit calories, drink water and exercise 4 times a week.

Clothes-wise I'm still struggling but luckily can get into some things I'd written off but wouldn't take to charity shop as I hoped they would fit again. I'm booked to have my colours done (that sounds so middle-aged) and if I get in ok I'm getting rid of anything in my wardrobe that doesn't suit.

Bra fits are excellent and I used to swear by Bravissimo but sadly mine have shrunk since weight loss and I'm not sure if I fit their criteria now🙄

I getting some of that Banana food for hair, mine has gone much more wirey than it was.

Original poster
Marmaladegin · 07/05/2023 09:20

Well I managed no wine or chocolate on the sofa yesterday evening, which for me is a triumph.

I have also fake-tanned which does help if done moderately I think. Like the st tropez self tan express - you leave it on for 1-3 hours depending on the result you want.

Can anyone recommend a good under-eye concealer? I'm pale skinned. Eborian under eye cc is good for a natural looking improvement but I'd like something that makes a more significant difference to my dark circles

OP posts:
Reasonableadjustments · 07/05/2023 09:33

I've ordered another pair of those side stripe trousers - Marks and Sparks online has 20% off this weekend.

Im also going to get my groceries and try to buy much more healthy stuff.

treacletoffee23 · 07/05/2023 09:45

Fabulous Thread
lve gained 4 inches on my waist - possibility Victoria sponge 😉
even so, l feel I’ve disappeared and have no style anymore

MultipleVeganPies · 07/05/2023 10:50

@Marmaladegin I always find it more useful to have a “do” list rather than a “don’t”,

so: Do: I will eat good quality nutritious food

this means reaching for some nuts or fruit when snack-ish 🙃

LunaNorth · 07/05/2023 11:33

I’ve been for my first open-water swim of the season this morning. It was cold, serene and left me feeling grounded in nature. Highly recommended.

I’ve also managed 10 minutes meditation, 10 minutes on my French homework and my strength/cardio circuit. Off for a dog walk now!

Patch-change day is always a good day! 😂

mrsplum2015 · 07/05/2023 13:48

Just starting hrt
I am struggling with my body and the weight is piling on
Helps me to be in control of grooming so I'm getting regular with nails, brows, blow dry and colour ( sticking with a bob as it looks smart and fresh )

I also exercise regularly and eat well for bone and muscle strength

I wish I could stay on top of my weight then I would look amazing

LunaNorth · 07/05/2023 14:11

I hear you about the weight, but in all honesty, I think the best way is to embrace it. Dress in a way that suits your new shape, move your body, feed it well, and remember that a bit of fat pads out the wrinkles!

Original poster
Marmaladegin · 07/05/2023 15:05

I admire you @LunaNorth but I'm just not ready to concede to this! I don't intend to live a miserable life but I feel it's a good time to face some truths: I have some habits (see aforementioned wine and chocolate) which I know aren't ideal, so for the sake of my vanity, wardrobe and health in middle age, now seems a good time to ditch them! On day 2 today- had a teeny bit of dessert at lunch but still resolved not to give in to the siren call of wine and chocolate on the sofa this evening

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 07/05/2023 15:19

I stopped drinking but didn’t lose any weight , so don’t bank on it !