Thread for women who will not be defeated by menopause/ peri

[Marmaladegin]

I'm 42 and have recently been diagnosed with peri. To be clear, I'm comfortable with my age. But I need to find a style that I find both comfortable and hip, and not feel that everything is sliding downhill into being someone I don't recognise. I do not love the term "princessing" but I suppose this thread is about "queening", and also clothes stuff. Here are the challenges I'm experiencing, that I'm intending to battle and would love company.

I think bread might be my downfall. I love baking and would happily eat a scone or slice of sourdough bread at any time of the day or night.

I've spent the morning (but nowhere near finished) getting rid of beautiful things from my wardrobe that make me feel awful because I can't fit into them because of the weight that's piled on.
Realistically, I'm not going to shed the weight anytime soon as I've just got a huge promotion and I'll be working much harder, then flopping onto the sofa in the evening.
I'm going to sell anything I can, and charity shop anything left.
I figure if all my clothes fit me properly and I feel good in them then I'll be happier.
I also ordered a range of good quality basics, in my now size.

I really hope I've done the right thing, but I need to feel better about myself. I have great intentions about exercising and meditating, but I know that won't happen, and the time I spend berating myself just makes me feel more shit about myself.

@DustyLee123 I'm not- but I have to give it a try!

@HappyKatieA good for you- I agree there's only so long you can stare miserably at things that haven't fit for ages. I'm on the brink of doing the same. Congratulations on your promotion. Do you really like your job? Maybe a pay rise is involved in which case a new wardrobe is obviously totally justified anyway

Yes, I gave up drinking nearly three years ago. I’m about a stone lighter since, but that last stone won’t budge and so I’m letting it stay.

I’m embracing my zaftig years!

@Marmaladegin - thank you, I didn't really want the promotion but there wasn't anyone else to do it, and I've been acting for a year (with support) so it makes sense.
Hopefully a BIG payrise, otherwise what's the point 😂, we're still in discussions there.
It's been quite cathartic today, I've been holding on to so much in the hope that I could be slimmer again. I'm still aiming to lose a stone, but the things I've kept will look better if I do, so no waste!

@HappyKatieA - congratulations on the promotion, and may the pay negotiations be fruitful. Could you spend some of the extra money on a PT session once or twice a week? If you have that time booked out from the get-go, you will have at least one evening when you aren't working unitil silly o'clock then collapsing on the sofa?

The coronation Victoria sponge that I baked is pretty much gone, so I can join the non-sugar gang! Gave up booze in 2019 and - mostly - manage to stick to that, which makes me feel very much better. But need to keep the sugar down too. This has the advantage of freeing up a bit of cash, which I can spend on additional skincare.

I had two glasses of wine on Saturday night because I somehow thought I should. I’ve given up drinking really, last had two glasses at new year and Mother’s Day again, because I thought i should. But it really does nothing for me now. I threw the rest down the sink this morning.

Well I have eaten my body weight in cake, bread, cheese and wine this weekend and this morning I feel awful. Worst hangover in about fifteen years. What a twit. I’m too old for this.

DP and I have had a dry weekend, so why did I still wake up with a headache this morning? So annoying!

I've started running (well, shuffling) again too, so hopefully will be able to keep myself motivated with it and go a couple of times a week.

I know what you all mean about alcohol. I’ve not drank for a week in a preparation for a holiday and I feel so much better this weekend compared to last weekend. Why do we do it to ourselves??
The big bonus I find is that I can stick to my diet plan rather than craving carbs and sugar when I’m feeling rough the next day. It’s all so counterproductive isn’t it.
well done on the running @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie - I did a workout this morning too (usually unheard of on a BH Monday due to a hangover) - only a 20 minute Barre Pilates style video but still it all adds up 😂

my sympathies as I've done the same along with cashew nuts , rice crackers etc and feel bliddy awful!!! My skin looks like salami :(

Spaking of hair, I've just bought this conditioner and my hair definitely looks and feels thicker after first use. I'm going to buy the shampoo too. My only concern is that my scalp is quite sensitive, and I'm not sure if this might affect it. Time will tell!

Finding this so helpful thanks!

It's the boobs for me too, I've always had small boobs, in my teens and 20's I was practically flat chested. Now I have huge lumps of fat protruding where my fried eggs once were. T shirts look awful on me now.

This for me too now! I bloody hate it!

Same. Now starting to buy v-neck tops when I never did before! I am more be/amused than actually resentful.

Also hate it. If anyone has any minimising bra tips I'd love to hear them!

Be glad!!

I still have no boobs. Never did. Menopause and child-birth gave me a handful. I have still never worn or owned a bra. Women talking about their breasts (especially on MN where everyone is a 26f) .

I have a massive ribcage and shoulders, so much bone, no tits. Never did. I'm a 36" but there's no fat of breast tissue. It's just bone and muscle.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being flat-chested.

I think it's the change rather than the boobs/no boobs

Ie going from a B cup to a G cup just in menopause

Exactly - going from having been very small breasted your whole life, then somewhere past 40 having them grow practically overnight without any other weight gain is an odd business.

Though to be fair, my DM did warn me, and as usual, I should have listened.

Ah, ok, I can see that might be a bit disconcerting!

My older sister is another who suddenly grew breasts seemingly overnight. She's still finding it rather bizarre. I was a 28f going into perimenopause and am thankful that despite increasing a few sizes when I first went on HRT, am now post-menopause and back down to a 28f, and some of my 28e bras fit too. My main concern is them dropping.

Having always been busty, the only bust minimising trips I can suggest is making sure you're wearing a well fitted bra that not only holds all breast tissue in place, but holds your bust in the correct position. I often wear sports bras as they minimise. They also contain the breasts and stop the jiggle, something even some styles of bras like balconettes, even when well-fitted, do not do.

I'm delighted to say that I have remained flat chested (except when pregnant or breast feeding). I'm 62 now so can't see that I'm going to develop a bust now. I'm a runner so it's a real advantage!

Thanks for the thread, I'm finding it really helpful.