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Original poster

Did you pick your own engagement ring?

114 replies

ramanw · 10/03/2023 22:31

Partner casually asked if I wanted to go and buy an engagement ring the other day.

Obviously I was chuffed etc and have now found one which is being ordered in.

Is it a bit weird though that I will know when he's picking it up and then I guess I will know he's about to propose and that kind of takes the "magical" element out of it.

Did you pick your own engagement ring and found yourself in a similar position or did your partner completely surprise you and picked the ring himself?

OP posts:
justasking111 · 10/03/2023 22:35

I picked my own ring. He asked me to meet him in town by Woolworths after work. Then took me into the jewellers. I was so surprised. We sat down I tried on a few rings but fell in love with the one that I still wear.

Motheranddaughtertotwo · 10/03/2023 22:36

My now DH asked to go “ring shopping” while on holiday, we found one we loved together and he drove to an amazing spot and proposed. It wasn’t a shock as such but the actual location was a surprise and it was still special. You’ll still enjoy it, it can still be magical.

Margaritawithlime · 10/03/2023 22:37

We went to look at rings as we had decided that marriage is where we were heading. I think - personally - it should be a conversation between you both and not something which comes as a surprise. That’s the movies! As it happened I picked out the style I liked and he went away and decided on one himself. Proposed when he had it and I didn’t know exactly when it was coming. I love it and am really happy I have something I love because I plan on wearing it forever.

Dacadactyl · 10/03/2023 22:38

He proposed with a plastic ring and then we picked one together after the proposal.

MyBloodyMaryneedsmoreTabasco · 10/03/2023 22:38

He proposed and then we went and bought a ring.

IhearyouClemFandango · 10/03/2023 22:38

No, DH chose it and proposed with it

Isitisit · 10/03/2023 22:40

Dacadactyl · 10/03/2023 22:38

He proposed with a plastic ring and then we picked one together after the proposal.

Same, he stole one that I’d got from a Christmas cracker and used that!

TheFlis12345 · 10/03/2023 22:42

DH proposed with a diamond ring that is beautiful but deliberately not an engagement style. He wanted to propose with a ring but also wanted me to have a say in something I would wear for the rest of my life. We then chose the proper engagement ring together and I wear the first ring on my right hand. .

Yorkshireteaformethanks · 10/03/2023 22:42

Similar here, I took him casually asking if I wanted to go and choose an engagement ring as my actual proposal. We went that day chose one and then picked it up together. He's not the romantic/bold type so I just took it as it was. Because I know him and his ways it didn't bother me - I'd have loved a magical proposal but knew it would never happen - I was just happy he even mentioned getting married in the first place. Tbf he did good helping me choose the ring.

fuzzbearpenguin · 10/03/2023 22:42

He proposed with a red rose then a couple of days later we went ring shopping and I chose my ring. Well actually we went to the jewellery quarter, he whispered his budget to the guy in the shop, I was then presented with a tray of diamonds to choose from and we had the ring made! I still love my ring 🥰

tiggergoesbounce · 10/03/2023 22:42

No, my DH designed it himself with my wedding ring so they fit together.

hettiethehare · 10/03/2023 22:43

DH proposed when we were out and about one Saturday and were (by his design) in the vicinity of Hatton Garden so we went to chose a ring after that.

bizzywiththefizzy · 10/03/2023 22:43

Yes definitely ! It was very exciting (many years ago now). Then we went to the pub then home to bed .😀

NatashaDancing · 10/03/2023 22:43

I don't have an engagement ring or a wedding ring. Husband made a big thing about he must at least buy me a wedding ring. I only agreed if I got to pick it, it was made to my design, didn't look like an engagement ring or a wedding ring and it was fitted for my middle finger.

I wear whatever ring on ring finger which I think will suit what I'm wearing.

I don't think there's anything odd about you picking the ring you want and like.

TwinsAndTiramisu · 10/03/2023 22:44

I picked mine.

Yes there's the "my DH chose it and that's why I love it" angle, but I think that's said a lot on social media, when in reality, if people were honest, they would have selected something rather different. You'll wear this for the rest of your life remember. You don't want ring envy every time you see a gorgeous solitaire, and you've got your cluster set ring because that's what you were given without any discussion on preference.

If you're more in the camp that you'll be happy with whatever he picks because it's what he chose for you, then perhaps you could pick out several in your style, then leave him to make a final decision?

Wrongsideofpennines · 10/03/2023 22:47

He chose it and it is really lovely and something I would have chosen myself. Needed to be resized though, as I never really wear rings and the ones in my jewellery box weren't quite the right size.
Amazing really because he isn't always great at getting gifts right.

Slimjimtobe · 10/03/2023 22:48

We went together (the proposal was a total surprise and romantic) we didn’t tell anyone for 3 months and in that time - ordered and chose a ring

SquigglePigs · 10/03/2023 22:49

After we'd been together for a while and we were obviously heading in the getting married direction we went to a couple of jewelry shops and he asked me to show him the types of styles I liked and the ones I didn't. When he was ready to propose a year or so later he chose the ring himself based on what he knew of my taste. I love my engagement ring!

The general idea was that we both liked the idea of a surprise and him choosing the ring but we were also conscious that I'd be wanting to wear it for (hopefully!) 50+ years so it should be something I loved. We felt like we got the balance right on that.

Mañanarama · 10/03/2023 22:50

We regularly walked past a jewellers and I’d pointed out what I loved so the ring itself wasn’t a massive surprise.

My best friend got engaged after years and years together. Her partner asked me to help him choose one, and also to engineer a ring trying on session to get her size. Total shock, she never saw it coming at all. Wonderful.

3peassuit · 10/03/2023 22:52

I picked mine. DH is lovely but clueless and would have been putty in a jewellery salesperson’s hand if he had been left to his own devices.

BackOfTheMum5net · 10/03/2023 22:53

My partner proposed and then I chose my ring myself. Quite rightly, he thought I would like to choose myself!

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/03/2023 22:54

No. That would be odd. He proposed and presented the ring (which was beautiful)z

StephenDedalus · 10/03/2023 22:55

No I didn't. He knew a jewellers I'd admired when we were on a city break about 150km from our city.

Unbeknown to me he drove there to have a ring made!

He then drove to collect it a few weeks later & only just made it back to collect me from the train as I was on my way back from a work trip.

He took me for a drink to the pub where we were first introduced & as we were nearing the door he went down on one knee & proposed with the most beautiful words & the ring!!

We had some drinks & home to bed Grin I couldn't stop looking at my hand & I still do find myself admiring it from time to time 20 years later!!

onlythesparrow · 10/03/2023 22:57

We chose the ring together. It still felt special, and it took the pressure off him as he was so worried about getting it 'wrong'... to the point that he had been thinking of proposing for many years but never actually managed to pick a ring, decide how or where to propose etc!

EspeciallyDedicated · 10/03/2023 22:59

Yes, he wouldn't have dared try and choose it himself Grin. We had been talking about getting married for a few months and then decided to tell family and start planning the wedding properly, so we went out and bought the ring together, once it had been resized I just started wearing it, no proposal as such (I wouldn't have wanted there to be).