If you have no interest in style or beauty why post?

[TheDead]

I ask this in all seriousness and not to start an argument but it occurred to me that pretty every post at the moment on S&B has several posters essentially saying 'who cares...wear what you like'.

And we all know that's true and actually exactly what does happen but I think S&B IS a place to talk about....well...style & beauty related things!

I don't see the point in opening a thread about 'what should I wear to x, y or z' to post 'no-one cares, wear what you like'

It's just not in the spirit!

I want to chat to fellow posters about all manner of trivial S&B things without being made feel I'm being trivial! My life is stressful & this is an escape at times.

Does anyone else feel the same or am I just feeling cranky?

Sorry I'm not a fan of removing S&B from active. New blood is important.

I think it's partly just about reading the room before you post. I'm guilty of it too, e.g. I posted on the weekend trainers thread and then regretted it - and that was before I'd even seen this thread - because the op clearly wanted suggestions, not my cod philosophy. And even though some of the ageism on here makes me scream, I came around to realising that a lot of posters were just very low on confidence and that challenging their wording wasn't helpful to anyone. So I dialled it down, although I still snap occasionally.

@Floisme engaging with the topic is good! Wondering why one thing and not another is also really good. Just shutting the conversation down is not so good and I have never seen you do that!

I see what you mean about wanting to attract new blood / energy to the S&B boards and I also like @botemp's suggestion of trying to get the 'lurkers' to engage more...

The question is how ?

I don't think this will draw out the lurkers more but I have considered in the past that S&B's reputation as a nice and supportive place in comparison to the rest of the site is doing us a disservice as we all somewhat feel we have to live up to that. hlHence the writing out a post and deciding not to publish it because you don't want to be that asshole, the self censoring so as not to potentially upset someone, etc.

I'm not advocating going full vipers' pit on here but I do think the balance is somewhat off as it's either everyone walking on eggshells or full on arguments at the slightest crack.

I agree @botemp and also for each of us that chooses to post here to remember that just because someone else does not like the same thing as you is not a personal attack.

We should be able to disagree, giving reasons, without it descending into a fight and people taking umbrage.

And lastly, if people read the question being asked and tried to answer that it would all be a better board

we all know the type of jeans and the type of trainers available in the 80s were not considered stylish then or now.

The 501 Nick Kamen advert was 1984

I'm unsure why people have to dismissive or PPs or whole decades of fashion. IMO the 80s was pivotal in moving UK trainer fashion from converse and green flash to far flashier things. Fashions moved from the street to the catwalk ad back down to the high street. We are still influenced today by this process.

I doubt this is a thread to attract lurkers.

I noticed most lurkers popping up on threads where the are loads of suggestions for brands of a certain ilk, lurker finds new things they like and then offer their gem. ie lurkers appear when they feel engaged and that they will integrate nicely.

"Incidentally can someone post a picture of some Skechers that would be indistinguishable from other trainers if the logo was removed? I’ll wait."

There you go

I think your idea to just ignore people attempting a derail is probably the best one, although it takes a righteous inner core of steel ( that I don't have, I should add) to not just snap at them to bore off.

I don't have a huge amount to say about fashion as a concept, as being short and tubby I favour the 'look acceptable and don't draw fire' approach to dressing, but I do enjoy reading everyone's thoughts on the subject.

I completely agree about self censoring as well. I find myself doing it all the time and often end up not posting.

When opinions are asked for I always try and remember there's an actual person wanting reassurance and guidance at the other end of the internet and so rather than splashing vomit emojis across the screen and saying "Oh dear OP, even my toddler would reject that!" I try and couch my replies in a helpful and constructive manner. Sometimes you can see that the person literally just needs a bit of a boost to their self confidence and I'm always happy to do that.

On the other hand if people are actively rude I have no problem calling them out.

And you're ok with that?

You're not interested in why a certain style of trainers are apparently objectively gorgeous on Monday but are apparently objectively hideous on Tuesday just because a mildly irritating MP is wearing them ?

Personally I think I'd like to have enough courage and confidence in my own taste that they are still subjectivity gorgeous for me, and hey, who would have thought even Matt Hancock occasionally gets things right.

And "frumpy" is not a neutral word.

subjectively...

Brilliant @ImAvingOops and I presume that once you bothered to look, it did not take long.

Jeans and trainers have been a mainstay of people's wardrobes for over half a centaury. Sometimes they're fashion, sometimes not same with stylish.

People like wearing clothes that they are comfortable / confident walking down the street in. Nobody should be trying to make someone uncomfortable about their clothes while they are sitting on the internet.

Commenting on or observing something doesn't mean I'm endorsing something Natasha.

Commenting but no opinion on the phenomenon or interest in why it exists- OK. Up to you.

I'm interested in the phenomenon of why the fact a mildly irritating, but not actually evil, MP who likely will fade from view very quickly makes it impossible for posters to wear clothing they used to love.

I did wonder if it were tongue in cheek- I might say the same if Nicola Sturgeon were wearing something I had but I wouldn't stop wearing it.

Then why not start a thread about it? Or a thread about your kind of style? You never know, we might even realise we like the same things and become style buddies.

You know what I used to enjoy? The 'new season' threads. I probably didn't contribute much but it was interesting and fun seeing what was new and what people liked / didn't like, and there were often useful ideas for pepping things up. Now they wither and die because what's the point when you know it's going to lead to, 'OMG how can you even think about fashion?' or 'Why can't you all just wear what suits you and anyway skinny jeans....'

I miss the old 'Vogue' threads too although I didn't post. Hope everyone on there is well if they're still around.

Why a new thread? It's well with in the ambit of this. If botemp doesn't want to consider the phenomenon of why Matt Hancock "uglififies" a garment (despite having raised it) then up to her.

I mentioned Nicola Sturgeon - can't stand her as a politician but my goodness there's a woman who eventually found her own style and stuck with it and it suits her. She is very stylish - although I've seen countless threads proclaiming high heels are "dated"

People like wearing clothes that they are comfortable / confident walking down the street in. Nobody should be trying to make someone uncomfortable about their clothes while they are sitting on the internet.

People are responding to genuine questions from posters who have asked ‘what’s on trend’. How is it helpful to say ‘Whatever you’re comfortable with’. ‘Jeans are just jeans’

Why do you think they posted?

9.16 Natashadancing brings Mat Hancock into the conversation.
9.23 botemp explains the phenomenon

Why the gaslighting?

I don’t understand your question.

Good point.

@Chasedbythechaser they posted for advice. Posters give clues in their OP and subsequent posts about their comfort zone in style and price. Us armchair stylists then generally try and give personalised suggestions.

‘Whatever you’re comfortable with’ , people don't wear what they are uncomfortable with, so a variation on this comment isn't terrible when coupled with other advice. 'All jeans are awful, I never wear them' or 'I get them made to measure at Harvey Nics' is unlikely to be useful.

Not aimed at you, Should have tagged @NatashaDancing

I don't think this question was directed at you Chased

Soz cross posted!