If you have no interest in style or beauty why post?

[TheDead]

I ask this in all seriousness and not to start an argument but it occurred to me that pretty every post at the moment on S&B has several posters essentially saying 'who cares...wear what you like'.

And we all know that's true and actually exactly what does happen but I think S&B IS a place to talk about....well...style & beauty related things!

I don't see the point in opening a thread about 'what should I wear to x, y or z' to post 'no-one cares, wear what you like'

It's just not in the spirit!

I want to chat to fellow posters about all manner of trivial S&B things without being made feel I'm being trivial! My life is stressful & this is an escape at times.

Does anyone else feel the same or am I just feeling cranky?

And this is why I no longer post on S & B anymore.

As I said previously you're not allowed to spend more than £20 on a jumper. Apart from a few long running threads it can seem a bit joyless and I no longer get any inspiration from S&B - well apart from when I lurk on Les Parisiennes.

It's changed massively since Covid. And not for the better.

but do people actually sneer at people wearing frumpy trainers?

Yes, they absolutely do. I have often seen comments along the lines of "Those are so frumpy. My 90 year old granny would wear them"

I said this upthread, but for some brands of trainers if you removed the logo they really would look pretty much of a muchness on comparison, so then it just boils down to comfort and fit.

I think some of the snarky comments are from posters who don't understand why a brand is more important than comfort or fit. Questions about whether a trainer does a wide or narrow fitting, if it is waterproof or whether it offers arch support etc are very useful. But these are the practical considerations rather than what looks "cool".

I don't post on expensive handbag or jewellery threads because they are of no interest to me.

@Lykia my favourite jumper is an £85 cashmere jumper.

And this is why I no longer post on S & B anymore. … you're not allowed to spend more than £20 on a jumper.

At least half of my name changes have been forced after I indulged in similar (but much longer!) S&B rants on exactly this point. I can still feel the prongs of the pitchforks in my derrière …

I think these joykill posters have always been here, I remember there was one very noticeable one when I first joined years ago with a very apt username. All heels were derided as things silly women toddle on, all skincare was useless and a con, bags were horrible just use a backpack with proper support, etc. Everyone just ignored them so eventually they stopped.

I think what's changed is that there's now more of them, people argue with them, and as I said previously self censoring happens. Not just about how much you're spending but over the years I've steadily run out of words to express when something is just ugly without someone who owns and likes that getting upset as if it's a personal attack. It's no longer okay on here to use words like frumpy, matronly, etc. neutrally.

Reality is, a lot of fashion is purposefully ugly atm, it's ironic but a lot of people are missing that aspect of it. There's a larger theme of rejecting feminitiy in a time where in all my adult life I've never found the idea of what constitutes femininity as oppressive as I do now. That's the stuff that interests me but just outright saying something is ugly won't actually lead to a discussion, it just results in temper tantrums of how dare you.

But @RampantIvy you're really missing the point. The thread question was what trainers are cool. It was literally in the title

Now if you posted a question 'which trainers are the most practical' that's the place for the discussion about the merits of memory foam etc

And the confusion around this is what makes S&B no longer v interesting imo

I've steadily run out of words to express when something is just ugly without someone who owns and likes that getting upset as if it's a personal attack. It's no longer okay on here to use words like frumpy, matronly, etc. neutrally.

Frumpy, matronly are not neutral words tho'. I don't like trainers. I think they are all ugly. I don't need to add "frumpy" or "matronly" or the "frequently used "my granny wouldn't even wear that". I haven't read any post ever which could make me see why brand X which was cool yesterday is no longer cool but brand Y is now cool when they are both ugly lumps of rubber and canvas with stripes.

The point Rampantivy was making is that except to the initiated trainers all trainers look essentially the same if you remove the logo.

Or on the trainer thread there are posters lamenting they can no longer wear Stan Smiths because Matt Hancock wore them on I'm a Celebrity
. I hope they weren't being serious but if they were that really is silly.

Re the trainers, what makes some cool and others frumpy?

you're really missing the point. The thread question was what trainers are cool. It was literally in the title

Oops, you got me there @TheDead

Thank you @NatashaDancing. You said it better than I did. I agree re the Matt Hancock comment but I suspect that these posters were being tongue in cheek.

The point I was making is that words like frumpy were used neutrally on here to mean no one wants to be seen wearing that right now, not in fashion, only of interest to those not interested in fashion. I agree it's not a neutral term and it has ageist connotations and that's why I don't use it but I don't necessarily see it as outright maliciously used in every context either.

Of course people are serious about Matt Hancock, a seriously uncool person can be the death of desirability and what's trending or fashion feeds off of desirability and attainability.

Okay I’m 100% with OP now. An innocuous perfume thread has descended into “I’ve had 13 miscarriages, don’t inflict your perfume smell on me, it’s toxic”

FFS.

So using your example @NatashaDancing you think all trainers are ugly, you don't wear them, you were not aware that they were even a thing, they all look the same to you - all things you have said on both this thread & the trainers thread. Why then do you bother engaging with a thread where people who are interested in trainers are having a nice chat about it? Why keep repeating that you don't like them & can't understand why anyone else does?

Start a different thread to discuss what to wear other than trainers etc

It's just disruptive really.

@ImAvingOops that's a brilliant question & one that would lead to good chat on the trainers thread because it allows people to talk about the changing perceptions / trends etc

I agree.

I hate having to tiptoe and/or delete replies I’ve written because I don’t want to offend someone.

It is possible to start a thread about what trainers are practical/supportive/waterproof and it would get replies from like minded people. I have seen replies though from people who say another poster’s suggestion is a frumpy looking trainer but imo that is helpful esp if the OP is trying to choose between a couple of suggestions and might choose the lesser of two evils based on people’s replies. But instead posters get defensive and declare they wear Sketchers because they are comfortable and they would like to assure everyone they are not frumpy dressers and everyone continuously admires their footwear. Everything is written defensively. Like another poster in this thread who said she’s glad trainers are an acceptable everyday footwear because she has worn them with jeans since the 80s. This was mentioned as if she was ahead of fashion when we all know the type of jeans and the type of trainers available in the 80s were not considered stylish then or now.

I mentioned previously about skinny jeans, and someone actually started another thread asking what style should they now go for. The usual pile on ensued with posters declaring they are a classic/will never go out of fashion/wear what you like - hardly anyone answered the OP’s question.

Yes - absolutely this!!! I can't understand why people don't get this

I think the only way to combat this is to not engage with the disruptor whatsoever. Not allow ourselves to feel embarrassed about any S&B discussions/ purchases / cost & try to reinstate the spirit of the boads!

If enough of us do it we ought to prevail

And I think MN headquarters should remove MN from active topics to stop the dull naysayers even spotting the conversations!

Who's in??

Disruptors plural

Remove S&B ...its Monday morning..not enough coffee ☕️

all trainers look essentially the same if you remove the logo

This is absolute nonsense.

Converse do not look like New Balance 327 or Nike Blazers or Adidas Gazelles.

Er, no this thread is about why do people post on S&B when they have no interest in it.

I'm passionate about clothes and style, and that, whether you like it or not, includes wondering how anyone can get so worked up about such an ugly piece of clothing.

Yes, I really like clothes and style, fashion I pay regard to but don't necessarily follow. Beauty for me is more about trying to be fit and healthy and perhaps then I'll look halfway decent with it, than make-up and beauty treatments.

I think S&B should be removed from
active discussions too.

Many years ago I joined MN just to post on S&B. It was bookmarked on my laptop. It was the only topic I was interested in.

It would be much better than having replies from posters who click and reply despite having absolutely no interest in clothes.

I would like this too. In fact, given recent discussions about other boards as well, I wonder if Active should only be for the general topics like AIBU and Chat. Other than that, people would have to go to the boards of interest. That might make for nicer, more informed discussions.

@NatashaDancing this thread is about why people post on specific topics within S&B when they have no interest in that topic....the trainers thread has been referenced throughout so was a useful case in point.

I'm not convinced it's a being in active issue, we've always had odd posters popping in. The MN userbase has changed, we've got quite a few of what I would call 'responders', they're not here to interact with other posters just comment as if they're responding to a news article. Just saw it on the holy grail a thread.

Think we're probably best off interacting with people on here who actually seem engaged and maybe tempt the lurkers into joining in. It never feels like it but the lurkers tend to outnumber the posters, plenty of people on this thread have said they've become lurkers in the current S&B climate, so in a sense we do have to something about that to make it more enticing for the lurkers to engage again.

I'm also 'passionate about clothes and style' but I can also recognise that of there's a thread asking for 'where to find cool floral dresses' that's not the thread for me, as I don't wear them, don't like them, never have...but I can see that others do and that's fine . That's the thread where they will find good inspiration for other brands to explore etc and me jumping in only to say 'oh, I can't understand how wearing floral dresses is thing, or they all look the same or who cares, wear a sack cloth' is disruptive and dull.

IF the question was 'do you like to wear floral dresses?' then that's the thread where I can say, no I refer to wear x, y or z.

And it's really baffling to me why people can't see the difference!

Are you being disingenuous? You clearly have no interest in trainers so why post on a thread about trainers? Being passionate about clothes and style doesn’t entitle you to post whatever you like on any S&B thread. It’s just rude to butt in to a conversation about trainers to say you don’t like them and aren’t interested. Would you do that in real life?

Incidentally can someone post a picture of some Skechers that would be indistinguishable from other trainers if the logo was removed? I’ll wait.