If you have no interest in style or beauty why post?

[TheDead]

I ask this in all seriousness and not to start an argument but it occurred to me that pretty every post at the moment on S&B has several posters essentially saying 'who cares...wear what you like'.

And we all know that's true and actually exactly what does happen but I think S&B IS a place to talk about....well...style & beauty related things!

I don't see the point in opening a thread about 'what should I wear to x, y or z' to post 'no-one cares, wear what you like'

It's just not in the spirit!

I want to chat to fellow posters about all manner of trivial S&B things without being made feel I'm being trivial! My life is stressful & this is an escape at times.

Does anyone else feel the same or am I just feeling cranky?

I’m in two minds, @TheDead …

I’m pretty obsessed with clothes. I haunt all promising S&B threads and often make (usually unwelcome!) suggestions. But at the same time I’m inclined to roll my eyes a bit when someone asks ‘what people are wearing’ for a casual drink at the local pub on a wet Tuesday night. As if there’s been some global consultation and they run the risk of being the one person in the entire world who gets it wrong. It really is a ‘just wear clothes’ situation.

However I do generally protest when someone wants an outfit for a more visible occasion, or a new job, and the killjoy arrives to say they’ve been wearing one particular outfit for the past half century, so why would anyone else need to worry.

@CrkdLttrCrkdLttr just wear clothes 😂

Completely with you @TheDead - of course you can wear what you like, but the point of posting on the board is to ask for advice.

I also get frustrated with the constant posts about skinny jeans!

I am a bit wear what you want because style is very personal. But I will say if something is lovely or hideous or inappropriate.
I do wonder though when someone asks about designer handbags etc and gets told off by a poster for wasting money.
This also happens on the holiday threads and has been getting worse since Colc.
How dare anyone suggest spending their own money when the poster and others are struggling!

Dated.
I've seen so many fashion cycles - jeans, leather jackets, pleated trousers, low/high waists etc and I find it fascinating to watch something go from looking current to looking dated and even - if I dare so say - unstylish.... and then a decade or so later come right back and look modern again. But it's pointless even trying to talk about it because it causes such a rumpus.

If you read some of the threads, a lot of the uncertainty about what to wear on a night out comes from mums who've spent the last 5 years in leggings and hoodies, running round after toddlers, and who feel like the last five years have passed them by. I find the lack of sympathy for that on a parenting board quite extraordinary.

Agreed.

I posted under another name about the fact that S&B used to be about what was at the forefront of fashion. What was on trend and where to buy etc.

More recently it seems to be fugly sandals, suggestions of shopping at Joe Browns and Roman, and people comment on make up threads just to say they don't wear any and never have.

Yes ALL of this

There is nothing more astonishing than the OP wanting to spend £1k on something significant - only to be greeted by eager posters describing how she’ll find exactly what she wants at Joe Browns and Roman. Times like those do underline how we each experience the world differently to our neighbour.

I love that style of dresses. It's been a staple for me most of my life. It's always been around. Laura Ashley, Monsoon, Cabbage and Roses, Cath Kidston, Batsheva-, Liberty , Palava etc, etc etc.

I won't be ditching it or replacing it.

The S&B threads have always been filled with such comments. Years ago there was a thread where a poster was asking for recommendations for a designer bag - one poster suggested she buy a garden bench instead.

I mean a bench is nice but doesn't really hold your purse.

I've been out for the past couple of hours so need to read back all the comments in more detail.

Even this thread has attracted what puzzles me - there's surely room for all of us?

So if you see a thread about new trends _ styles / developments in trainers but you don't wear trainers & have zero interest in them why go on there to dismiss the entire discussion?

If you prefer ballet pumps, start a thread about that instead etc

I mean a bench is nice but doesn't really hold your purse.

I do find some of the posters on the luxury handbag threads tiresome. I find that people are often handbag people or not. I love handbags, especially the art and design aspects of luxury brands. I don't own anything more expensive than Coach or Tory Burch, but I do love to talk about Gucci, Dior, Chanel, and Hermes.

I'm with you @QuertyGirl . I think the trainers thread (and similar ones) is particularly irritating because it's so pointless; if somebody is not stylish or 'cool', them putting on X or Y pair of trainers isn't going to make a blind bit of difference so why not don't they just pick out some which they love for no reason other than that?

I'm also guilty of occasional WWYL comments, but only when trying to help in threads where the OP has said the sort of things they like wearing (rather than 'how do I dress for X so I look like everybody else there?') so if they suit green and like their legs and their budget is XYZ, we can all try to find things (including on the likes of Vinted), which hopefully serves the purpose of the board 😊

The reverse snobbery mentioned by another PP is really tedious - I got a twatty comment once after posting a link to a sweater I'd just bought because apparently Tu at Sainsbury's had one just like it for £14.99, or something. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the Sainsbury's sweater, but it was nothing like the Isabel Marant one I bought and to suggest as much was just plain bizarre.

I agree with OP; if you're not interested, then don't post!

I love fashion and beauty discussion, magazines, instagram, etc., but I am not a slave to trends, especially because I am not young anymore! Some trends I find silly and unflattering, and I find it ironic that 'fashion rules' change what is flattering or not. Call them culottes, capris, cropped trousers, but for years different variations were 'in' and flattering, then they were 'out' and made you look dumpy. In this case I would say to wear what you like, if you find it a staple in your wardrobe, and you think it suits you.

I guess part of the problem is that, for example, I don't like either trainers or flowery dresses but I'm interested in them as a phenomenon. And I realise that, if I start pontificating when the op just wants advice on what to buy, then it's annoying. I'll hold up my hands over that. But equally, if I started a thread on 'Why are trainers and flowery dresses so popular?' I'll bet the farm I'd get loads of posts about how you shouldn't care about fashion and should just wear what's flattering.

And let's not even start on what flattering means and whether that changes with fashion too.

So what's the answer? Cos I don't want to be an arse but I enjoy chewing over this kind of stuff.

I couldn’t agree more OP. It drives me mad. If you I have no interest, then why on earth would you comment? I don’t comment on lots of posts if I don’t think I can add something useful.

Can we also have a special mention for posters where people ask for specific skincare advice and they come on to say they use nothing at all and never take their make up off, or use a bar of soap. Fine if that works for you but I don’t think a dermatologist would ever recommend it.

And the posters where someone is asking for a particular make up product and they comment saying they’ve never worn it and don’t see the point.

Regarding the trainers thread, I think people ask when they haven’t necessarily got the confidence to make their own decision. And I know no one has mentioned the word frumpy yet, but I can honestly say I’d feel frumpy wearing a pair of sketchers, for example, but I’d feel a lot more confident in a pair of New Balance or my shiny new Nike Dunks.

And I think that’s why a lot of people ask - because knowing they’re wearing something a little bit ‘on trend’ makes them feel a little bit more confident.

I like this board but my interest is more in the 'B' than the 'S'. And I love a good 'procedures' debate!
I read the threads about clothes, but don't find them very relatable as my taste seems to be out of step with the 'house style'. While people say they have different styles, there are definitely some common themes, the dislike of skinny jeans, the love of Mint Velvet, which is neither my budget nor my taste, and the preoccupation with dismissing things as 'dated' with rarely any consensus.
I wouldn't say wear what you like if advice was being sought, but I might if someone was getting a bit of a hard time from people saying her choices were dated or 'age inappropriate' as I think fashion should be the servant not the master, clothes should be enjoyed, and I dislike the imposing of rules.

That is perfect- too true

I agree OP, there is a thread at the moment asking for advice on what to wear to afternoon tea at Claridges. What a reasonable post for an S&B board, it’s very raison d’etre in fact. So of course someone has bustled in to say that personally, they wouldn’t give it the tiniest thought. Why would you do that? On the S&B board.

The ‘fashion is so trivial’ posts are deeply annoying. No one is pretending we are solving world hunger on this board, it is specifically about Style & Beauty. If such ephemera is beneath you, there is no need to post to tell us that. No one cares how worthy you are - we want to know what to wear to eat at Claridges 😁

Yep - all of this

The ‘fashion is so trivial’ posts are deeply annoying.

I agree. One of the things I liked about some of the posts on the thread cited by a previous poster is the extent to which posters talked about fashion as an art form, which it is. Popular art, ephemeral art, yes, but still art. I appreciate the artistry of fashion.

It's also possible to be a serious person, interested in serious things and still have an interest in fashion. I can't manage being a deep non-trivial thinker every minute of the day.

@Floisme I have always enjoyed any of your contributions that I've ever seen on here & I think it's totally OK to discuss how & why certain things come on & out of favour. As I said I'm 53 & have seen lots of the current nods the first time round. But while certain things from the 90s for instance are back in vogue, theure not really styled or worn in the same way. And I have been around the block enough times to know what will & won't work for me. But I still love to read about other people who are embracing it.

The thread about the floral dresses was really a case in point - it was v interesting to read about what direction dresses are going in, until some people got v heated & defensive about never ever giving up floral dresses. When noone is actually going to bang down their door in the morning & rip those dresses out of their wardrobes.

It became harder to discuss the actual topic - what comes after floral dresses & I was interested as I've never embraced the floral trend as its not my style!

But if someone wanted to start a thread about the merits of floral dresses & best places to find them I see no point in me barging into that post to say how I don't see the point of them...

I have had some great discussions on here about particular styles - a recent one on dark academia was excellent (and relevant to me as I veer towards that look) & another one on properly bohemian clothes, despite the fact I don't dress like that it was a great thread. And a couple of years ago there was a brilliantly informative one on how to get "the London look'

I just wish we could have more of this instead of people trying to shut the conversation down all the time

Ps jigsaw has some v nice non floral dresses in for spring with some v interesting shapes. For the first time in several years I'm feeling tempted by summer dresses

Is nobody bothered that "fashion" is being told what to wear by some marketing firm?

This isn't about how you look, it's conformity

Style and beauty used to be one of the most friendly boards on MN. People would be honest but not in a bitchy way. Lately I see more and more posters trying to out mean girl each other. Being bitchy about people dressing up for afternoon tea of heaven forbid someone start a thread about what to wear to the Ivy.

I agree with @QuertyGirl and @LemonJuiceFromConcentrate

I think particularly when people ask "Is this okay for a wedding" or whatever, it is actually helpful for all people who go to weddings to chip in with their opinions and experiences, as that is who they are going to be mixing with at the actual wedding they have been invited to. Rather than people who only wear what some fashion guru has told them is the 'in thing' for this season.

I don't seek out 'S&B', it comes into Active sometimes, and might just catch my eye.
With all topics though, it is often good to get some balance of opinion, surely?