What makes you think someone is poor?

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What makes you think someone is poor?

I'd really like to know because I've had so many people assume that I'm poor (and not just in the last few years). Not people that really know me but like shop assistents or nurses and such people. I've had plenty of remarks that something like the ronald mcdonalds house would cost me too much money (was 15 euro a night).

I'm not poor. Far from it. I'm a SAHM in a detached house in a nice village. I style my hair every other day, wear minimal make up, always wear some fine gold jewelry. Granted, I don't wear brand names, but I do wear a proper wool coat, real leather handbag and leather loafers. I prefer buying pieces that are good quality and last than just pay for a brand. I don't have a noticable regional accent. DH makes a lot of money. I used to be poor when younger and apparantly I still look it in some way.

I don't have to look like you should rob me, but I would like the concerned poor remarks go away. So tell me, when you see someone, what makes you think that they're poor?

Same here, OP. Just yesterday a clerk at a council office rather haughtily implied i couldn't afford a 5 quid fee for some paperwork. I probably earn 4x her wages.

I'm clean, neat, in standard anorak jeans & boots. Perplexed.

It's your curly hair with the lack of volume on top that's the problem.

Get a cut that will give you volume or reduce the contrast between volume lower down and none higher up.

I have curly hair and it's a mixed blessing, quite honestly.

Though also, if you're British in the Netherlands, there may be different sartorial codes that you're missing.

They can mock away, I think their ideas of money/style sound awful.

Everything has to be new and shiny?? How utterly common. And brash. And embarrassing.

And wasteful !

@TeaAddict235 this is very interesting. Thank you for clarifying. I follow a German woman on Instagram Yohanna Hanbury, she lives in the UK & married to British polo player Charlie Hanbury. She definitely fits your description!

oh aye

The same holds for Belgium, or at least Brussels. The range of “acceptable” ways to dress is much narrower, grooming standards are higher. Of course there are people doing things differently but that’s seen as very much outside the mainstream, whereas “scruffy toff covered in dog hair” is entirely mainstream in Britain. The whole concept of BCBG (French but popular in Belgium) ties a particular way of dressing to social class. It’s a much more socially conservative country.

DH and I lived in Brussels for many years and coming back and readjusting to British dressing was a slight culture shock. I prefer the British way- more creative and free- but we are very much an outlier.

The comment above about Germans wanting to look forward not back holds for much of Europe, I think. Not every country will feel it as Germany does, of course, but the war is seen in countries like Belgium as an occasion of huge national trauma and there is no desire to keep looking backwards. Britain again is an outlier here- we look back a lot more because of a sense that all the bad stuff happened “over there”, and what did happen on British soil we’ve reimagined in a rather sanitised way (“Blitz spirit” rather than the actual horror of the Blitz etc) so we can focus on the war as an occasion for pride not regret. It makes us very backward-looking, which I quite like in clothes but is pretty disastrous in politics.

How strange that people are seeing you as poor, despite not having a regional accent. 🙄

I am holding onto my Lancashire accent despite living in NZ for the last 20 years, and I cannot say I have ever been treated any differently than my RP husband either by friends or career wise.

This wasteful accusation doesn't sound Dutch at all, in my experience. Quite the opposite, I don't think it is as a disposable society in the same way as the UK. Also, they will prioritise different things as an addition to their quality of life; such as flowers or plants Of course, they do love a bargain.

Agree that the European thing is not about being wasteful or wanting everything new and shiny but rather not fetishising old and crumbly.

Most likely she's confident , direct and carries herself well and makes eye contact .

@Cailleach1 i think my Dutch experience echos yours. IME my friends and colleagues did not constantly covet “new”, but instead would buy serious quality designed to last. I remember being very confused at the levels of “tat” my British counterparts would buy. I found the secondhand market (furniture) pretty much non-existent because there wasn’t the “need” to replace all the time. Much more of a “buy me once” way of living.

And as for clothes - like I said, quality items, care and ironing.

It’s hard to make primark look good 10 years down the line. But a €300 skirt likely will. Plus style over fashion.

A Primark garment never looks good.

@Cam22

Wrong. My size 6 cousin looks good in primark clothes. You would never know the way she puts her outfits together and being as thin as the mannequin helps I guess.

I'm the opposite. I dress like a student or at best I wear joggers and a jumper but everyone assumes I am rich. I am pretty well off but I don't think I show it.

If everyone correctly assumes you are well off, you must be showing it!

@ChipsAndMayos
YY, and agree with your comment on British political discourse too.

Primark clothes don’t bear close examination unless you enjoy studying wonky hems and clusters of hanging threads. The whole place reeks of cheap dyes.

But presumably @Cam22 's point is that her cousin's body type/self-presentation etc means you aren't studying the clothes closely, and noting stray threads and wonky hems, as the clothes sit well on her and give a generally 'together' impression, even if they aren't well made?

Ah, the smell of cheapness, like Shoezone.

Ah, the smell of arrogant, snobbish twats, like Whistles.
I don't often closely examine the hems of my mates clothes, funny enough. Primark can look great if you wear it well. Louis Vuitton can look shite if you wear it poorly. Swings and roundabouts. I prefer to find charity shops in posh places and pay a fraction of the price, myself!

Mmmmm! The shoe version of Primark.

Are you very thin? I mean really really thin? That's one thing that might make me assume someone was struggling, unless it was obvious they weren't for other reasons.

Otherwise, I think there's something in the idea that it's because you don't dye or straighten your hair. Personally I don't think you should have to. I have fine curly(ish) hair myself and I really hate straight hair on me. I cut it myself (because no hairdresser will listen to my plea to make it look as curly as possible) and let it air dry to maximise the curl. I have never specifically felt that anyone thought I was poor because of it, but I've had a surprising number of people recommend straightening products or treatments. I just tell them "thanks, but straight hair really doesn't suit me." I do think there are certain types of people (usually comfortably off, but not old-school posh) who think it is a sign of self-neglect not to spend a lot of time or money on your hair, and if you happen to like the type and colour of hair you were born with, you're still expected to change something about it just to show you're "making an effort." I refuse to get on board with this.

I wouldn't worry about this too much to be honest. If someone makes an assumption that you can't afford something, just say, "no, it's OK, I can afford it." They're hardly going to reject your money!