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If you are in your forties/ fifties, what outfits make you feel good?

208 replies

SnoopLabbyLab · 14/10/2022 09:28

I’m in my forties, and the outfits that made me look and feel good ten years ago, just don’t any more. I’m a little rounder ( size 12), a little tireder looking, a little more clueless about nowadays styles, a little less confident about my body and style.

There seem to be loads of women of my age who have nailed their style and look great, and I would love some ideas of looks and shops to try. Can’t bear Instagram or similar, as it makes me feel even less confident.

What types of outfits make you feel great? Any shops you’d recommend?

OP posts:
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meateatingveggie · 19/10/2022 22:56

@SierraSapphire they look very interesting.. nice colours too. I haven't seen them in store but I'll look

@Coffeepot72 I believe they're aimed at casual/smart casual wear.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 19/10/2022 23:49

Being older does not make you invisible!

I used to heartily believe this, but now I think it's true. :(

Having said that, I still like to wear nice clothes - I might be invisible but I can still see myself.

Floisme · 20/10/2022 09:36

I used to heartily believe this, but now I think it's true. :(

Oh Remus I can remember arguing with you about age and invisibility and it gives me no pleasure to see you say this.

But the positive side, as you say, is learning to dress to please yourself. Once I realised no-one was looking at me any more I lost all my fear. It was very liberating.

BigSkies2022 · 20/10/2022 09:38

57 here. Sharing the love on this thread for wide-legged trousers. I have woollen ones by Zara (washable and go in the machine - used a lot for dog walking) and Fenn Wright Manson. COS also do loads of really great wide legged trousers, with excellent high waists, nicely cut around the backside. I have navy blue cotton ones which I bought for summer and am still wearing in the mild autumn.

Black woollen bootcut trousers (these were copied from a Gerard Darel fine navy wool pair, which I still have, but are a dressier wear with a pair of heels).

A pair of black MaxMara wide-ish leg trousers, again a dressier wear but with flats (last time they had an outing was to the theatre - wore them with a fine polo neck, a black jacket and a pair of jewelled loafers).

Flat shoes for the most part - trainers/chunky sandals in the summer, fairly solid chelsea boots or monk-strap flats in the winter. Loafers if I don't have to walk very far - I like a lot of support in the footwear department these days.

Jumpers - love them. Fitted, slouchy, polo-neck, V neck. I like cashmere and merino. COS is good, Eric Bompard when I'm feeling really flush (not since 2015 , alas). Easy to pair with wide legged trousers and flats, or with skirts. Silk scarf at the neck if wearing a V neck.

I own 2 skirts, one is navy and A-line, the other is a burgundy pencil skirt, vair ladylike. Can pair either of them with shirts/jumpers, flats or heels. Two autumn/winter dresses, one black, one navy both MaxMara.

Coats from Jaegar, Hobbes, ASOS and Marrimekko. Fairly classic styles - houndstooth, navy wool, a trench, that sort of thing. The trench is from ASOS, chuck it over layers to walk the dog, brush the mud off when dry. I do need a proper puffa style thing for really cold days, but the thought of spending a lot on such a garment isn't very appealing really.

Two handbags, one navy, one apple green, one clutch bag. One really good woollen scarf, two pairs of gloves (nice, non dog-walking/gardening kind).

I much prefer autumn/winter to summer clothes. I have 4 nice summer dresses, and one skirt, but until I can afford to get my varicose veins done, I don't really like getting my legs out without the benefit of thick tights.

I really pared down my wardrobe to the things I loved and I keep things a long time. I don't generally buy secondhand, as I've found my experiments in that direction don't work too well - mostly the fabric has had it by the time it reaches the secondhand shop - but I do have long stretches (2-3 years at a time) of buying nothing. I have found getting older has brought more confidence in my own style, so I feel less inclined to give myself a boost by buying more.

SirChenjins · 20/10/2022 09:53

I love my wide legged trousers and trainers but do feel it's become a bit of a uniform for middle aged women - it's my go to outfit when I'm lacking inspiration and at just over five foot I have to be careful about the cut and width of them so they don't swamp me. My favourites (for me) are 70s-style print dresses and high knee-length boots, with either a short, slim fitting leather or denim jacket.

PAFMO · 20/10/2022 09:56

I think everyone might be trying the wrong M&S side striped trousers! Mine are definitely NOT jogging bottoms, material or otherwise. They're trousers, with a permanent crease which makes them suitable for work etc. Not jersey material or anything like that. They're £39.

Cantonet · 20/10/2022 10:07

I wear my side striped M&S trews with a Jigsaw silk shirt & a blazer. They look perfectly smart. I love the fact they don't need ironing & I can look perfectly together in a hurry. But I'm quite sure they're not for everyone.
The M& jersey corduroy trousers are great with chunky lace ups but I shorten them to cropped. As I detest ankle length.

Tabbouleh · 20/10/2022 10:32

PAFMO · 20/10/2022 09:56

I think everyone might be trying the wrong M&S side striped trousers! Mine are definitely NOT jogging bottoms, material or otherwise. They're trousers, with a permanent crease which makes them suitable for work etc. Not jersey material or anything like that. They're £39.

Got mine in Onyx. Agree they can be dressed up or down. Planning to wear with a black polo. Might not suit every workplace.

Coffeepot72 · 20/10/2022 10:33

@PAFMO could you post a link to the correct M&S trousers?

PAFMO · 20/10/2022 10:52

www.marksandspencer.com/side-stripe-wide-leg-trousers/p/clp60558391?color=CREAMMIX&prevPage=srp#intid=prodflag_srp_ts_QPH_100|pid_pg1pip48g4r0c0

I have them in the navy and white, and the black and gold (which were in the sale in September- they feel even more dressy to me somehow)

These are the ones I have. They're £39.50 and polyester and viscose. They also do jersey side striped trousers and jersey jogging bottoms.

The £35 ones are similar- but a heavy jersey- I did look at those, but they wouldn't (IMO) be smart enough for most workplaces.

meateatingveggie · 20/10/2022 13:15

PAFMO · 20/10/2022 09:56

I think everyone might be trying the wrong M&S side striped trousers! Mine are definitely NOT jogging bottoms, material or otherwise. They're trousers, with a permanent crease which makes them suitable for work etc. Not jersey material or anything like that. They're £39.

I tried the heavy weight ones, with the permanent crease. I thought the fabric was great, it drapes well and covered all sorts of lumps of bumps

But they're still very 'jogger'.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 20/10/2022 16:45

Floisme · 20/10/2022 09:36

I used to heartily believe this, but now I think it's true. :(

Oh Remus I can remember arguing with you about age and invisibility and it gives me no pleasure to see you say this.

But the positive side, as you say, is learning to dress to please yourself. Once I realised no-one was looking at me any more I lost all my fear. It was very liberating.

Thanks, Flo.

Tbh, nobody really particularly looked at me before, but I never felt invisible. Working in a secondary school perhaps doesn't help, because some teenagers really don't seem to see what's right in front of their nose!

I'm happy enough to be invisible whilst lucky enough to have some disposable income to spend on clothes that make me happy.

GettingStuffed · 20/10/2022 18:49

I have a long sleeve dress similar to this. www.monsoon.co.uk/v-neck-button-ikat-print-midi-dress-in-sustainable-cotton-blue-34080061.html , on Monday I wore bright pink cargo pants with a grey sweatshirt and I felt good even though DD said I looked like an overgrown student.

FabulousFlamingo · 20/10/2022 19:03

I Ordered the M&S side stripe trousers online (black with white stripe- £35) and they've just been delivered.

I'm a size 8-10 and 5'2 so ordered both sizes and as lovely as there are (gorgeous thick material) they both completely swamped me. Definitely not for petite people like me. Will have to wait until they bring out a short leg length :(

ShellGrotto · 20/10/2022 19:28

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 19/10/2022 23:49

Being older does not make you invisible!

I used to heartily believe this, but now I think it's true. :(

Having said that, I still like to wear nice clothes - I might be invisible but I can still see myself.

I was reminded of this thread because a (very cool) neighbour in her late 60s (with every appearance of sincerity) told me this evening on the street I was looking remarkably beautiful, better than she'd ever seen me look -- I turned 50 in the summer, and (but?) have lost a lot of weight these last few months (for reasons of emotional turbulence, rather than from dieting, but I suppose the effect is the same) and taking hair colour and skincare seriously, as well as buying some clothes I love.

I suppose visibility/invisibility depends in part on who's looking? @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie , I hear you on teenagers -- I teach undergraduates and it can be easy to feel like wallpaper delivering insights on modernism. 😀

mizu · 20/10/2022 19:35

Dresses, dresses, dresses...... I'm falling out of love with trousers although I still wear them sometimes.

HairyHandedSonOfTroll · 20/10/2022 19:38

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 19/10/2022 23:49

Being older does not make you invisible!

I used to heartily believe this, but now I think it's true. :(

Having said that, I still like to wear nice clothes - I might be invisible but I can still see myself.

I think that's a bit sad. My guess is that you are an attractive woman who just happens to be older. There's so much more to visibility than just "being young". Being interesting and interested, engaging with people, making eye contact, making them feel special and important, smiling ... these are all ways in which nobody is ever invisible. It's not a question of wearing particular clothes or spending a fortune on make up and all that bollocks.

Goldmember · 20/10/2022 19:40

I'm in my 40s and a curvy hourglass, size 16-18. I had my colours done 10 years ago which have been invaluable. Having a small range of colours means everything works together, nothing clashes. As an hourglass I prefer high waisted, slightly fitted trousers or knee length pencil skirts / dresses. Tops have to be v-neck or low scoop. Comfortable underwear.

HairyHandedSonOfTroll · 20/10/2022 19:41

FabulousFlamingo · 20/10/2022 19:03

I Ordered the M&S side stripe trousers online (black with white stripe- £35) and they've just been delivered.

I'm a size 8-10 and 5'2 so ordered both sizes and as lovely as there are (gorgeous thick material) they both completely swamped me. Definitely not for petite people like me. Will have to wait until they bring out a short leg length :(

Same here, btw. I tried them on in the shop, and they looked horrendous on me. I would definitely not be invisible in them, but in a bad way. However, I ordered a "midi" (which is long on me) merino wool dress, and it looks fabulous. My sister, who is drop dead gorgeous and a similar height and build to me, looked atrocious in it but looks fantastic in pretty much all trousers. 🤷‍♀️

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 20/10/2022 20:39

@HairyHandedSonOfTroll I didn't express myself very well, then. I'm not invisible to people who know me - perfectly able to talk, smile, make eye contact etc, thanks. But I DO think I'm starting to be invisible in public. Maybe I should dye my hair green.

WinneyWasherWoman · 20/10/2022 20:48

Love this thread.

I’m 40, and in the midst of a style crisis. My issues are:

  • I’m no longer the tall skinny girl I was until I hit 38-ish. I still want to dress for my size 6/8 body, even though I’m now a 10/12 with a slight tum.
  • I no longer require smart / dressy clothes as I now WFH and have a small child, so no real requirement for “office by day, wine bar by night” type outfits any more. I need to stop buying dresses and nice shoes!!
  • I love a charity shop / Vinted bargain, which means although I have some nice items, my wardrobe is overflowing and uncoordinated and that makes getting dressed far too complicated. I need to figure out what works / doesn’t work, rehome a load of stuff and most of all stop buying!

I always used to feel fabulous in a fitted dress and heels. But that no longer suits my lifestyle and anyway it seems a bit dated now even when I do venture into the office.So I’m trying to find “me” again.

At the moment I tend to wear Acai “casual stroll” trousers as they work for my lifestyle (WFH, walking, cycling, bit of gardening, bit of yoga) and a sweater with trainers. The trousers are great for an active lifestyle but I feel a bit less “naked” in them than in leggings, given I’m 40 and my bum isn’t as pert as it once was.

I’m currently searching for the perfect jeans - love high waisted but just not sure I’m quite slim enough for tight / tucked in tops with them, but baggy tops plus baggier jeans look wrong on me. I also have the footwear dilemma of what to wear with wider leg jeans in winter once bare ankles are no longer a good idea!

TheLassWiADelicateAir · 20/10/2022 21:24

GettingStuffed · 20/10/2022 18:49

I have a long sleeve dress similar to this. www.monsoon.co.uk/v-neck-button-ikat-print-midi-dress-in-sustainable-cotton-blue-34080061.html , on Monday I wore bright pink cargo pants with a grey sweatshirt and I felt good even though DD said I looked like an overgrown student.

Lovely dress.

Millionairesshortbread1 · 20/10/2022 22:39

I’m loving this thread. I’m a petite size 10 so struggle with clothes swamping me . Hopefully I’ll pick up some ideas here, that make me look 5.10 and cool.😁

tillyandmilly · 20/10/2022 22:44

I follow “ backofthewardrobe” melissa on instagram and has great style - she is early fifties and always looks glamorous in a glamorous casual way

Tigofigo · 20/10/2022 23:06

Don't know what it is as I like joggers and wide leg jeans but those m&s side stripe trousers are just not for me. They just make all my existing clothes look daggy.

I like wearing v high waist baggy jeans with tucked in boxy t shirts, or sweatshirts.