How you dress teaches people how to treat you

[Firerybadger]

Wondering how much truth there is in this sm gem I’ve just seen as I’m of the comfort above everything type. If it’s true maybe I’ll get treated differently by the world

I agree with you. I couldn’t give a fuck about a smart suit and find people who hold any stock by them naive and lacking in imagination.

However, I know what I find ‘well dressed’ and fact is, I’m going to be attracted to that on first viewing.

I think it is true to an extent

I think if someone was passed out wearing old joggers, dirty trainers and an old football Tshirt they'd be left much longer than someone who passes out in a crisp suit.,

This. I am treated differently by shop assistants and bar staff when I am well dressed, made and and have good hair, than when I'm slobbing around in leisure-wear and no make-up.

In my experience it is 100% true.

Also I did say ‘one way’ self-worth can be reflected, not the only way.
Academic achievement is another way of having confidence and coming across well.

I mean, how you dress definitely say stuff about who you are as a person, but only an arsehole would treat someone differently based on how they're dressed? I don't care if someone is dressed modestly, not modestly, or whatever it is, I'll be kind to them unless they're rude to me

@2reefsin30knots chances are you have the accent and confidence to match your background.

I think it’s not just what you wear but how you carry yourself that determines how people treat you.

I think it's true.

I once had a style day (and that's a different story) and to demonstrate that there is some truth in the idea of dressing for the role you want as helping people realise you are capable of that role, the stylist removed jewellery, some accessories, watch, changed to lower heels etc etc and I was amazed that she almost became less important/ interesting in front my eyes.

That said, I will never understand why people on MN frequently ask how they should dress for business class flights. But maybe they do get their classes of sparkling wine topped up more?

I have a bit of a reverse version of this – I find people who are very 'done up' quite offputting and try not to engage with them if I can avoid it. Myabe due to growing up in a VERY 'naice' area full of very unpleasant people...

I think there's a level of 'matching' that goes on, where people seek out people who echo their own style or attention to presentation, and what you choose for yourself you tend to choose in others.

I used to lecture History of Fashion.

Clitjing is basic anthropology. And it says everything if you know how to decode it. Even those who profess to have no interest in it are signalling something.

So yes, to some extent how you dress determines how people treat you.

“I think there's a level of 'matching' that goes on, where people seek out people who echo their own style or attention to presentation, and what you choose for yourself you tend to choose in others.”

Absolutely.

Of course it's true. It's also part of the fun of it for me.

Today I walked around my local town in riding gear, some days I look like a bohemian, some days properly dressed up, others in melt into the background comfy stuff. Sometimes so middle class mum it's funny, sometimes a surfer (I'm not a surfer), sometimes I'm in a 40 year old wax jacket and country boots, other times head to toe meandem.

Depends on my mood and what I'm doing that day.

Mind you I'm also 47 and give no fucks and am entirely secure in who I am so when they are not just practical out of necessity I view clothes as fun - and playing with people's perceptions is all part of that.

I used to do a very senior corporate job and I rather liked the kick ass designer suit with 3 inch stilettos look.

That's was my don't fuck with me look but I mixed it up all the time depending on who I was meeting etc. it was fun.

Well of course, we are visual creatures

But a confident manner, voice and smile make up for pretty much anything

People don’t generally staple their graduation certs to their bosom though?

No but my point was that there is more than one way to skin a cat.
This thread is about clothing, I agree that clothing can create an impression…as can other things.

I'm not sure that "how you dress teaches people how to treat you" but I'd agree with most that we all have a first impression of a person when we first set eyes on them. It is human nature.

I have a bit of a reverse version of this – I find people who are very 'done up' quite offputting

I'd also agree with this. My first thought is 'How high maintenance' and 'how sad they spend that much time doing that to their eyebrows / lips / forehead / hair / nails . makeup etc, and moving to an assumption the don't have very high self esteem that they have to hide behind all that falseness.

It isn't always the case the "smarter is better" it depends where you are.
If I were leading a day's ramble and someone turned up in really unsuitable clothes, then it would teach me how to treat them. I'd treat them like people who have no idea about walking in the countryside.

Anyone who doesn’t believe this is true is deeply naive.

It doesn’t then follow, though, that the first impression is accurate - as some on here seem to be thinking.

But yes, absolutely people are influenced by how people appear / are dressed.

It's false. People judge you on your entire appearance, not just your clothes. Moreso if you are less than slim, have acne or sore skin, are too short, too tall, teeth not white enough, hair not styled enough etc it never ends. Which is why I make a point of completing blanking people who make snide remarks about the physical appearances of others.

Of course it's true. But I agree with a PP that accent and other indicators come into play, too.

I think it's perfectly fair if someone sees you wearing scruffy jeans and assumes you're the gardener, or if someone sees you in a suit and presumes you own the house. That's just extrapolating on the basis of available evidence. But any decent person will be polite no matter who they think you are. If you dress down and find people are rude to you, in my view that's a good sign those people aren't worth your time.

My uncle was an artist and used to dress very scruffily, a snooty neighbour in the village said “you aren’t rich enough to dress that scruffily”
there is an inverse snobbery about appearance.

You seem to be blaming her for this. It’s not her fault either.

You clearly don’t want to move it so just go, but be prepared to lose her as a friend.

Yes! I don't care at all what I wear when out and about, but always dress well for work. The difference in how I'm treated by people astounds me. Like on the train, suited up man glared at me and rolled his eyes because he thought I touched his bag! He never ever would treat me like that if I was in my nice business dress. I always dress up to go to the hair dressers because I want them to think I really care so they do a good job.

There was a really interesting experiment on this a while back. A young girl stood on her own crying on a busy shopping street. When she was well dressed in new shoes and a wool coat, it was less then a minute before someone stopped to help her. When she was dressed in scruffy clothes with a dirty face and hair, it was over ten minutes.

Yes I agree with this. People do treat you differently and make judgments based on how you present yourself - and what you wear is a big (but not the only) part of that.

I don’t care if people judge because I dress for comfort, that’s their problem, not mine. I know I’m probably more qualified academically than any of them

How you dress has little to do with academic qualifications, unless you are trying to deliberately put that message across.

My colleague had a PhD in anthropology and fashion. Are you more qualified than her?😂

Very ignorant statement from someone so well qualified…..