Strange ideas about age, ageism on S&B.

[Pangolin44]

A bit of a mangled thread title, but I'm always slightly agog when it comes to age on this board.

So many 'Can I wear X at Y age?' threads. So many comments about 'age-appropriate' attire. Mutton-dressed-as-lamb always rears its head. Granny shoes, frumpy coats, 'I'm 35 am I too old for mini-skirts?'.

And don't get me started on hair! Bejeysus.

And this is women, talking to other women.

It makes me sad more than anything else, people are obviously posting on this board because they're interested in clothes and style, why close off any area of style because of age? The thought that women think they can't express themselves physically due to an imagined arbitrary cut-off.

I would love to free women from this idea, what's the worst that can happen?

I don’t get the angst with the word frumpy, it can relate to any age group, it just means dowdy and unfashionable and does nothing for the wearer.

I'm not clear what your point is.

I never said anything about denying what my age is but "old age" is not a reason for needing a special type of bed.

The physical effects which might come from an ageing body might be the cause but there are any number of physical reasons why a special bed might be needed and which apply to people of any age.

If a person needs a special bed, they need a special bed.

A usual definition of elderly is 65 and over.
I’m 69 and consider myself elderly. I wear whatever I want, I shop wherever I want, my hair is currently long and I’m the same size as I was thirty years ago.
Elderly is not a pejorative term.

My objection to is that it's not particularly useful. I don't consider myself "elderly" because I don't know what it's intended to signify. I'll be 64 on my next birthday.

Ahh @borntobequiet I do consider 'elderly' as slightly pejorative. It has connotations, regarding infirmity and loss of independence.

When people say 'My elderly relative', it's usually used in terms of care needs. Not 'My elderly relative has just climbed Mount Everest'.

It's a small point, but once the term elderly is used it always seems that the person is secondary to the age, their age preceeds them, their needs and life are secondary to their age. They are merely 'elderly'.

Although others on this thread clearly disagree with me!

And if you're happy to be elderly then who am I to tell you otherwise?

And @Gwenhwyfar, as you get older you might need a special type of bed, but that's not because older people need a special type of bed, it's because people may have conditions that are more prevalent as they get older, that may require a special type of bed.

Not, 'over-65's need a special type of bed'.

There's not something that happens to a person on their 65th birthday that suddenly requires different sleeping arrangements.

to me elderly does denote frailty. I think the American's have it right when they refer to 'seniors' rather than OAPs or 'the elderly'.

And those posters that talk about 'wanting to be noticed' for one's clothes as a young person's game.

YES I do want to be noticed, I put a lot of thought into what I wear, and it's not 'whacky' or 'look at me'.

When I'm out and about I'll often clock another woman who obviously loves clothes and we acknowledge each other, it might be a smile and nod if just passing on the street, it might be a bit of a chat or a complementary comment if in an environment that allows idle clothes chat.

There's always an acknowledgement, there is a sisterhood of a love of clothes that goes beyond 'what shall I wear to the pub'.

You can always recognise a fellow adherent.

One of my most seminal moments with other women and clothes was at a restaurant when I was in my 20s and a woman, who was probably in her mid-50s was on the table next to me.

She was wearing a white shirt and dark jeans, her hair was white, but just looked so fucking cool and at home with herself. I desperately wanted to have her self-assurance, her ease with the world. She obviously cared so much about what she wore, and wore it so well, but there was no affectation, she was and remains the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in the wild.

@MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake (appropriate name). Seniors works better.

Or veteran. I quite like veteran, it denotes experience rather than diminishment.

Oh absolutely. I was almost drummed off the Feminist Board here for saying similar. Told by a poster there that if a woman she didn't know walked up to her on the street to tell her she had a nice dress, she' d think the person was very peculiar indeed and it never happens.

The federal law that provides funding for programs and certain protections in the US is called the Older Americans Act. Another program refers to Later in Life.
Also in many of the programs and agencies that serve older people in the US "elder" is used rather than "elderly." So a person might say "She is an elder" rather than "she is elderly."

“another woman who obviously loves clothes”. What this means, and the fact you acknowledge each other, is that you recognise a style of dressing that’s unusal or quirky. I’d never exchange a few words with a woman with a Chanel
handbag like mine. We both have good taste, but a sisterhood? No. That’s a wierd concept to me!

My dress style isn't particularly noticeable, much less quirky. But it is considered, and other women who like clothes too, clock it.

No @TizerorFizz, there's nothing quirky about my look. I'm not interested in a Chanel flap honestly, they leave me cold.

I was wearing a Jil Sander skirt today that cost £1,000 and an Alexander Mcqueen Blazer that cost £2,000.

I'm only telling you this because you referenced your Chanel bag.

Your Chanel bag is obvious to anyone.

My clothes weren't. Very few people would really acknowledge or care about my clothes.

I do. And not because of their label or cost. I wear them because I love them and they look brilliant. To me.

But people who really care about clothes would recognise that, and we acknowledge each other.

I can recognise good clothes. What I don’t recognise is the club you think you belong to. It’s odd! The Chanel reference was just the obvious one to use. I could have said 50 brands!

And it's not even about expensive clothes. The woman I passed today, that we had an acknowledgement, was about 30 years younger, she was wearing an orange tracksuit and silver gilet, we checked each other out and smiled, nodded and appreciated each other.

It really was a mutual appreciation.

What's odd @TizerorFizz?

What don't you get?

Do you not love seeing women absolutely at home in their body?

And is it not obvious to you @TizerorFizz that some women care more about clothes than others?

That you check each other out. Bizarre to then go further. Hopefully I won’t meet you!!

I find it quite odd that you find it bizarre.

A recent example for me was the Laura Ashley riding coat I've mentioned before. I owned it in the late 1980s and remember being told by a passing stranger what a beautiful coat it was. I found it on eBay last year and the first time I wore it I was told by a passing stranger what a beautiful coat it was.

Neither seemed odd to me.

@TizerorFizz

You're in luck, I would probably never check you out.

@NatashaDancing & @Floisme would probably get checked out.

And would probably acknowledge.

Who wins?

Not you and your obvious Chanel bag.

I think that’s slightly different. I’ve had compliments from people and it’s lovely.

This isn’t the same. Does everyone eye up what other women are wearing and exchange knowing glances? This is clearly saying both women know what each is wearing and are somehow a knoekefing their shared good taste. Shared. That’s the difference. Then they slide on by with a “one of us” satisfied grin?

I’ve had people admire a few things I own. Usually a shop assistant. However I don’t admire anyone else enough to exchange knowing glances with them.

No.

Obviously, people who do care and know about clothes do actually acknowledge each other.

Because if you know. You know

And care.

Why do you think that women who obviously care about clothes wouldn't acknowledge their peers?

Men with expensive bikes or camera lenses like to give a nod to their familiars.

Er? No they don’t. DH has cars and camera lenses. Well not in our world anyway. I have to say when we had a fairly unusual car we did flash lights if we saw another. That was 40 years ago. We’ve grown up since.