Help! Dreadful bra fitting experience has made me feel rubbish

[Jamoffmytoast]

This was in Bravissimo. During the pandemic I've been wearing more bralettes and non underwired, so thought now I'll treat myself to a proper one which will look better under a t shirt. (None of my old ones fit, since the menopause I feel like my size has gone up.)

Anyway, the ones she brought out all felt far too tight and like torture instruments. I said they weren't comfortable but she said that's the right size. Under my armpit was a whole load of kind of wrinkly overhanging flab, it looked awful. She (about 20) said it was due to my age. The lighting in there was really harsh as well and the whole experience made me feel bad about ever wearing a normal bra. I left without buying one.

What next? Stretchy bras forever or what do I do.

Do bra fitters still say that you should only be able to get two fingers under the band? Because I can’t see how that allows room to breathe. The one I’m wearing now is comfortable and tight enough that all the support is from the band, not the straps. And because it’s stretchy I can fit my fist under the band. If I breathe in as much as I can then yes, it’s two fingers, but you wouldn’t do that in a fitting room.

Anyone that does Boob or Bust will give you a tight back band. And if you are smaller frame anyway this will hurt.
I agree with an earlier poster that it's a shame Debenhams is no more as I always found the staff there knowledgeable yet listened.

@LilyGlobe

I’m a 30J and was going to head to Brighton at the weekend to get some new bras from Bravissimo. I might avoid doing that now and stick to my current method of ordering a ridiculous amount online and trying them on at home. I’d try an independent but I don’t think they’ll stock my size, hardly anywhere does.

I’d stick with your original plan! Never ceases to amaze me that with the thousands of bras in the stockroom, bravissimo can only provide one in my size (34F so pretty mainstream) and that will be a bloody awful colour. Happens to me every time

Having had mine measured multiple times by different stores and suggested I'm different sizes in each store, I've finally found that just buying sizes trial an error, I've now found my correct size and comfy fit.

Buy some online, Amazon do nice ones, l like the brand Mary of Sweden, some beautiful ones in that range, pricey but worth it. l think you can still order from Debenhams online, its much better trying them on at home, l would order several different sizes as they all vary.

Same thing at Bravissimo. I'm a size 10 and wear a 34C, which I'm comfortable with, but my friend convinced me to have a 'fitting'. They gave me a 30DD which (a) I couldn't breathe in and (b) looked far worse that my previous bra both with and without clothes.

I obviously didn't buy it!

Utterly bizarre.

I go to an independent shop where I live between Bristol and Bath. They are brilliant.
I'm a 36HH. Nothing is going to get rid of my underarm fat, because, guess what? I'M FAT!...(my weight is a major contributor to my enormous cup size).

I had a horrible experience at Rigby and Peller, (I did not need her to manipulate my breasted into position), but it still sounds not a patch on yours. I tried a fitting with my daughter at a small local independent and she was a dragon lady too. Now I have resorted to measuring myself and loads of options to try.

I've actually emailed them. I thought my experience of being made to feel like the world's biggest frump was unusual for a body positive brand but looks like its not uncommon

I’m fed up of Bravissimo fitting me into the 2022 version of a Victorian corset. The backs are so tight I’m splodging out at the back and can’t wear tighter tops. I take them off and have red marks where the wiring digs in. I have heavy boobs which do need a fair bit of support but this seems ridiculous. I felt I can’t breathe in properly in some of the ones they brought for me to try. This thread is very helpful. I need to replace mine and didn’t know where to try next.

I also do Rigby and Peller once a year - they usually just look at you and ask what you want (for me lift and support) then come back with 2 or three options for the perfect fit. Then if there is the tiniest bulge over a cup, it’s whipped off and you know you’re to avoid that one. They adjust straps at the back to be the right length for you.

I always leave with Prima Donna bras in 2 different styles and they are expensive but I got DH to take pics side on versus my fantasie bras which also do fit well, and the difference in support is noticeable. They’re just higher.

I then order more of them through Quidco on Belle Lingerie to make it all cheaper.

Bra extender.

I have a large cup size and a small back band - 33GG. When new the bras are uncomfortable and hard to fasten at the back but the front cup part fits well so I don't want to go for a bigger back and smaller cup. I use a bra extender to make the back longer. Then as the bra stretches with wear after a while I remove the extender.

I am aware of my bra but it doesn't hurt. When I finished breastfeeding I found wired bras really uncomfortable but I'd been used to soft ones for 2 years. Within a week or so of wearing a wired one it became not uncomfortable, just aware of. I don't think it ever did hurt, as such. I think it was just I was not used to something rigid there.

I had a horrid experience in Bravissimo years ago. I was squeezed into a band size that left a cut under my breast as it was so tight and really painful to wear. Also gave me awful back cleavage (which has never been a problem before then as I was fairly slim. Assistant was adamant that it was the right size. If the right size leaves me in agony and leaves me with unsightly bulges then I will stick to the wrong size.
I do like some of the bras in bravissimo though so measure using boob or bust and order online.

@DizzySquirrel90

Having had mine measured multiple times by different stores and suggested I'm different sizes in each store, I've finally found that just buying sizes trial an error, I've now found my correct size and comfy fit.

Agree.

Also the sizes / fits vary wildly. I’ve compared two supposedly same sized bras by placing one over the other (on hanger in shop!) and they’re clearly different.

A close friend of mine goes to Rigby and Peller and she loves their bras.

I've been to Bravissimo but was always put off by them suggesting the same old style (balconette/demi balconette) so I've found 2 independent lingerie shops which I go to instead.

I felt with Bravissimo that it was almost conveyer belt like in there too.

@Jamoffmytoast

Thanks Twizbe I could get to Bromley so will look that up. John Lewis is a good idea as well to try.

It it was cutting me so it bled! How can that be the "right" fit. I'm a size 10/12 (at the time) 30 year old
That's awful!

@Jamoffmytoast - I've been to No Half Measures, they are great.

Also try The Fitting Studio in Sydenham/Forest Hill, the owner is great and has a great selection:-

thefittingstudio.business.site/

So Rigby and Peller fitting earlier today. Overall a good experience, really lovely and patient lady. They did the size estimate by sight with my current bra on but she did have to run her fingers under the back band and the underwire bit which was fine (and to be expected).

I’d got very lazy with my old bras and don’t think I’ve been measured since my early 20s (or possibly even as a teenager!), I’m now 40. I was wearing a 36B and she sized me by sight as a 32E which interestingly is exactly the same size the bra calculator came out with (www.mybrasizecalculator.com/#about-area) when I did it a few days ago.

She let me try on 32E and 34D in case I felt the 32 band too tight. In the end I chose a fairly plain and soft 32E as it seemed to fit nicely. I couldn’t tolerate the fancy ones because the lace around the front/band I reckoned would make them too itchy and uncomfortable when combined with the tight band (that I’m not used to). Anyway glad I did it and I’m going to order a few cheaper 32E/34D fantasie bras to try at home.

I noticed a lady in the next cubicle had come back in because the bra shed bought was leaving bad red marks and she wasn’t happy.

Sister size of 32E is 34DD

Oh yes that’s what it was. I forgot.

OP save your sanity and get a breast mastopexy. Yes, a breast lift, it’s surgery and costs more than a bra but worth every penny.

@fallfallfall

OP save your sanity and get a breast mastopexy. Yes, a breast lift, it’s surgery and costs more than a bra but worth every penny.

God, I'd love that, but don't they put implants in to achieve the lift? I don't want any more bulk in there thanks.

@QuentininQuarantino

It isn’t a “trend” to have a smaller back size, it’s common sense. Bras are stretchy, in most stretchy clothes you buy there is negative ease, you wouldn’t add 4 inches to your measurements to choose a jersey t shirt. The band of a bra is meant to take 80% of the weight of your breasts - otherwise it is going on your shoulders. Adding inches to an underbust measurement is a relic from the days before stretchy fabrics existed, and as average bust sizes were much smaller, support wasn’t as important.

Wear whatever you like, but something has to hold your breasts up - whether it be your back, shoulders or just your chest muscles…

I would suggest a thicker back band in a softer fabric, like a t shirt bra, and perhaps sizing down gradually, it probably felt too tight as you’re used to taking the weight on your shoulders. How do your strapless bras stay up?

This is partly true, in that the sizing method was from before such a huge range of cup sizes existed, but not completely true, as stretch fabrics in bras existed in the 50s and even earlier. The sizing method where you added 4-six inches to your ribcage was very accurate, as bands were sized to fit the smaller measurements, eg if you measured 28 at the ribs, you would need a 32/34 bra, and the band of that bra would be cut to fit a 28 ribcage. The added inch sizes of 32/34 were to approximate the actual bust size, as women’s blouses and knitwear etc were all sized by overbust measurement rather than dress sizes. Then after a while there were cup sizes thrown in to allow for more or less volume . Bras were sized this way until very recently and many brands still are. The irony is that when 32 and then 30 bands started to appear, they were sized this way, so someone (me) with a then 25” ribcage would at last have a good fit in a 30 bra. This was great as i had spent years altering bras. Then some bra manufacturers started enlarging their bands and this has now left women and girls with very narrow ribs in the same position that they were in the 80s and before, with no bras small enough, as a 28” bra may well be cut now to fit a 27-28 ribcage. An old 32. My teenage daughter, with a 24” ribcage, is in the same position that I was at 17, eg no bras fit ! So although the huge range of cup sizes is definitely a brilliant progression for all of us over a D cup, the band sizing methods are not at all as progressive as they seem. Most bras have bands with a mixture of non stretch and stretch fabrics, just as they have for over sixty years. They are not noticeably more stretchy, the powermesh fabrics used are the same as they were many decades ago.

Leia are pretty good. Saleswoman is too good and I have left with half the shop.

I’m slim but carry flab on my back and Bravissimo bras always end up creating enormous bulges and looking ridiculous. Tops that I previously looked quite nice in become unwearable and each day is reduced to an hour-by-hour count down until I can rip the bloody thing off.

Every few years I decide that I probably haven’t persevered long enough, go back, spend a fortune and end up frustrated, uncomfortable and ultimately chuck them all in the recycling.

Very roughly for back sizes if you wear a UK 12 (just as an example) your starting point for back size is around a 32, if you wear a 14, try a 34 back - 30 back if you wear a 10. That combined with boob or bust gave me my starting point for what to try on.

I'm a size 8-10. I can just about tolerate a 32 back size. 30 leaves me with red weals under my arms.