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Original poster

How to look less awful for next years photos…

101 replies

PeaceONoeuf · 26/12/2021 19:38

So - I look dreadful. Wrinkled round my eyes and mouth, weird mish mash of grey and brown frizzy hair, middle aged spread, tiny thin lips, massive hooked nose and chin - I don’t care about looking my age but I’m embarrassed in public now.
I don’t want to start dying my grey, I can’t face that. Aside from that how do I stop cringing at photos / shop windows etc? Just started HRT so hoping that gives me a bit of a lift.
I used to be very slim, long pretty hair and nice looking. Hitting 45 (I’m 49) has been the slide downwards.

What can I do? Maybe tiny lip filler? Or Botox? I need to save to get my hooded eyes done but that’s £££.

OP posts:
msc6199 · 26/12/2021 19:49

Following (can relate to everything you've said, OP!) x

Original poster
PeaceONoeuf · 26/12/2021 19:53

Hi @msc6199 thank you (sort of! You know what I mean) I’d love to make some changes. I have been through every curl product in the shops and online and I just have a frizzy mess. Maybe a smoothing treatment? I’d love to try to stop being so embarrassed - hairdressers was awful recently, lots of glossy pretty women of all ages and me.

OP posts:
Vicliz24 · 26/12/2021 20:24

I have silver hair too and the battle with the frizz is real , I find since I've been silver I need to keep my hair very well cut . Other than that I heartily recommend blusher becoming your friend. A cream blush that will give you a nice glow . Bright colours near your face work wonders too . A simple pinky nude lipstick helps with thin lips . Mascara and liner on upper eyelids only to open your eyes and maybe tinted moisturiser over foundation as it gives a more sheer look . Those are my go to things . I'm pushing 60 and find the struggle is real . Try those first before you go down the Botox route and trust me we are our own worst critics .

Original poster
PeaceONoeuf · 26/12/2021 20:45

Ok I may switch to blusher from bronzer - thank you for the tip.

OP posts:
lindyloo57 · 26/12/2021 22:37

I'm 61 and for the last two years no longer use foundation, but use a tinted moisturiser instead, I do try to use mostly cream products over powder, but as I am oily the products don't last as long on my face, so a little setting powder helps.

Original poster
PeaceONoeuf · 27/12/2021 08:48

I think I need some drastic action as well as subtle tweaks - I’m getting to the stage of hating going out I’m so ashamed of my appearance. It’s been a bit of a shock rather than a gradual process.

OP posts:
Lostinafield · 27/12/2021 08:53

That's so sad.

Fritilleries · 27/12/2021 08:56

Mini face lift? My mum's face is so jowly so that's what I'll be doing at her age.

Original poster
PeaceONoeuf · 27/12/2021 09:02

I think a face lift would obviously make me look better but it’s more bits - nose, lips, chin, hooded eyes.
I’ve been thinking about that filler for crooked nose thing?

OP posts:
Mmmmdanone · 27/12/2021 09:09

The hair is probably a good thing to tackle. I also have frizzy hair. I do dye it though but either way tackling the frizz is key. If I want to look better I straighten (well, smooth it with a slight curl as totally straight hair ages me). I have a blow dry brush and it really helps. When hair is frizzy I just look ancient and awful!
Also some good makeup.

Original poster
PeaceONoeuf · 27/12/2021 09:43

Thank you - I’m sort of losing faith in my new hairdressers, I think maybe they don’t get it. I’ve tried two cuts and a colour (tint grey over bleach - tiny highlights) and it’s not doing what I want.

OP posts:
ferretface · 27/12/2021 09:55

Have a look at threadlifts for nose, it's a lot safer than filler there. SAS aesthetics in London has some examples.

Linering · 27/12/2021 10:05

Only get any cosmetic surgery or treatments done if it’s something you realllly want. I got my lips done a couple years ago 1ml done very well and thought it would change my entire looks and make me look like a model. I just looked the same with slightly bigger lips.

I honestly find that the right makeup makes the biggest difference. Maybe a nice sparkly eyeshadow, a curl and tint eyelash treatment and a bit of lipgloss is very flattering on lots of faces!

Maybe if you don’t want to dye your hair, invest in nice hair tools and a couple of splurge products? A dyson air wrap or the revlon hot brush tool is trending all over social media.

Find what works for you! I used to wear such heavy makeup and fake eyelashes out of insecurity and looked horrible because I wasn’t comfortable in my skin. Now I wear comfy clothes I feel good in and less makeup and look much better in photos when I’m just being myself and not trying to be something I’m not.

It’s really difficult!

notacooldad · 27/12/2021 10:18

I made a good start on myself and it has made a difference.
I do highlight my hair and have it quite long but the important thing is to keep it in good condition with regular cuts. I use Olaplex and it has made a huge difference.

I have my eyebrows threaded and tinted and eyelashes tinted.
I like wearing make up and keep it simple and use Bobbi Brown tinted moisturizer and the Bobbi Brown pots in a pink for cheeks and lips and a mascara. I use a hint of eye liner to define.

My main issue is my weight but I have made a start on that with heavy weight training 4 times a week for strength, yoga and pilates for core and swimming and cycling for cardio. Its making a difference and I am really enjoying it.

I also have regular chiropractor appointments and this has helped with my posture. I was beginning to get a bit sloochy and looked awful when I saw myself in shop windows or mirrors.

I have booked for botox for my scowl line! I look angry and everyone askes me what's up!!

I am nearly 57 and look ok to be fair!

Innocenta · 27/12/2021 10:30

Don't get filler in your nose.

Do get Botox with a really good person - a doctor with lots of experience. Don't try to get a deal on this, it's going into your face!

stainesmassif · 27/12/2021 10:37

I'm 49 too and Skin and Me has made a massive difference to skin texture and eye bags. and a fringe for my forehead. I'm planning a little top lip plumpage in '22 for my 50th.

TheUndoingProject · 27/12/2021 10:39

A face lift rather than dying your hair sounds pretty extreme! I do think grey can be very ageing, some dye and a makeup refresh could give you a real boost.

5128gap · 27/12/2021 10:56

If its just about photos then the quickest fix is to find your pose. Lots of mirror selfies until you hit on the most flattering way to stand and hold your face. The only people who look truly terrible in photos are the ones who don't do this and get caught unawares. If you want took better generally though, my advice would be to approach it as a renovation project. Identify the specific things you dislike about yourself then do some research on the options to improve or fix them. For example your lips, there's fillers, lip plumping glosses, different make up techniques. You need to experiment. Then when you're happier with that, move on methodically to the next thing. And I know its not a popular thing to say, but for most women the real game changer is getting to their happy weight. Not a quick fix, but the pay back in increased confidence for most women can't be overstated.

Original poster
PeaceONoeuf · 27/12/2021 11:11

Good points here - dd is always on at me about angles for photos.
Agree maybe I’m expecting too much - pigs ear and sows purse etc.
Very inspirational stories though, I think maybe my hair is the first issue. I don’t feel my current hairdresser is very me - I just feel I go in and say x and they do y - same alphabet just not what I wanted. They are very very young so probably don’t understand how ugly I feel.
Maybe Botox is an answer and saving for my eyes? I’m so self conscious about them and my mum has mentioned them in the past - told the make up counter she didn’t know why I bothered as we all had such piggy hooded eyes in the family etc. I need to lose a dress size at least - matronly would be a kind way to describe me now.

OP posts:
Innocenta · 27/12/2021 11:16

Losing weight will affect your facial features too, so I wouldn't suggest getting any invasive procedures (like a face lift) pre-weight loss. In my opinion, you could aim for hair first (relatively easy to sort out), then botox, all while working on the weight loss. Alongside that, the fun bits like makeup and clothes.

You may find you really don't need any invasive procedures at all. Doing the above could in itself be a big change.

Also consider: a professional peel (better results, often, than trying products at home). A lash lift and tint (looks instantly good, lasts better than lash extensions, opens up the eyes).

DietCokeChipsAndMayo · 27/12/2021 11:20

A good pair of eyebrows and an eyelash lift and tint will help the hooded eyes - I looked like I’d had an eye lift the first time I had mine done, so much so my Mum had hers done too and I kid you not she looked 10 years younger!

Original poster
PeaceONoeuf · 27/12/2021 11:21

Oh the lift and tint sounds like an easy win - I’ll have a look for somewhere that does that and report back.
Maybe a change of hairdresser?

OP posts:
MarleneDietrichsSmile · 27/12/2021 11:27

I think you are being hard on yourself

A good haircut really helps, as does nice clothing

Those things are much less invasive than surgery as well!

Exercise is also amazing for making you feel and look better, just having the “me time” that involves is such a positive thing as well

That’s where I’d start

notacooldad · 27/12/2021 11:27

Maybe a change of hairdresser?
Definitely. Ask your friend's whose hairstyle you like where they get their hair done. That could be a good starting point.
Good quality hair products make a ton if difference. I mentioned Olaplex earlier and that was a game changer. However some people havent has the same results so maybe buy a trial size bundle first.
Losing a dress size is likely to make a huge difference as well. You need ( imo) the holy trinity of exercises. Cardio, flexibility and strength.
Based posture on anyone us so aging so check that out. I do ok for a while and then slip. I only need to see my reflection for a shock!!!

mumofthemonsters808 · 27/12/2021 11:38

I refuse to believe you look anywhere near the way you describe yourself, we are so critical about our flaws our eyes home in on them and our mind has a field day.Look after yourself by all means, some great tips have been given, fresh food, limited alcohol are your best friends, everyday look in the mirror and force yourself to focus on one thing you like and no matter how bad you feel, you must find this, repeat day in and day out and you will see yourself very differently.Forget Botox fillers the only thing that needs fixing is your mind.