How to look less awful for next years photos…

[PeaceONoeuf]

So - I look dreadful. Wrinkled round my eyes and mouth, weird mish mash of grey and brown frizzy hair, middle aged spread, tiny thin lips, massive hooked nose and chin - I don’t care about looking my age but I’m embarrassed in public now.
I don’t want to start dying my grey, I can’t face that. Aside from that how do I stop cringing at photos / shop windows etc? Just started HRT so hoping that gives me a bit of a lift.
I used to be very slim, long pretty hair and nice looking. Hitting 45 (I’m 49) has been the slide downwards.

What can I do? Maybe tiny lip filler? Or Botox? I need to save to get my hooded eyes done but that’s £££.

@PeaceONoeuf

Update: So I had my eyebrows threaded and nails gelled today - oh wow my eyebrows look so sleek. Will definitely do this again as it’s very cheap and a quick win.

Wonderful! I'm so glad you're happy with your brow look.

Thank you - I’m slowly working through the suggestions to see what’s possible / affordable / appealing. Definitely the brows is brilliant - even I can see an improvement just in the shape. I’ve asked locally about eye lash lifts . Also bought fizzy water as a step away from Diet Coke.

Fake eyelashes, lash extensions or just strip lashes

Lots of water, fruit, salads and vegetables. This month’s food is next month’s face!!

Firstly I think you are being very hard on yourself. When I was about your age I got a plan of action.
I am 52 and this is my regime.
I get Botox twice a year for crows feet, elevens and forehead.
Fillers once a year in jowls area, lines above mouth and every other year in the cheek area to lift the lower face.
I have dark hair and every few weeks dye roots which takes less than 20 minutes. Every 9 months colour allows my hair.
I tint my eyebrows which takes 10 minutes.
I get my hair cut every 7 weeks.
I wear Collection brand make up which despite being mega cheap suits my skin.
I use Nivea Q10 products and a bit of Clinique.
All the above costs less than £1500 per year and takes hardly any time.
I’m 100% happy with my face and hair.

I’m a bit wary of lash extensions, thought I might try a lift first as it seems maybe a bit more subtle? But am not ruling anything out.
Yes to the fruit and veg - I’m already vegan but do end up eating fake cheese, hummus, crisps etc. will also be doing Dry January.
Regime is interesting - lots of people have posted very positively about botox . Luckily I can save to spare a bit of money (not ££££) to try some things this year, especially as i have taken on a second small job.

Personally I'm not a fan of extensions for normal life. I think they can look a bit overdone, and the maintenance is more demanding.

I honestly think a really good dye lid foils etc at the hairdresser will make a world of difference. I’m 46 and the most aging thing for me is the grey coming in. The rest I can deal with ( a few wrinkles and a bit of sagging but combined with grey hair it’s not good). Like others, I’m surprised you’d consider cosmetic procedures rather than just a simple dye job. I do my own hair (with professional products) rather than a box dye because I need to do it every two weeks really and it makes sense to do it myself. I think it looks quite nice and it certainly makes me look younger than the grey.

I’ve also had Botox in the past- it’s ok for a quick fix but doesn’t last long and is very expensive.

I know you don't wanna dye your hair OP, but I recommend dying your hair.

I did the whole I'm growing it thing for six months at a time over the last 2-3 years. Unless you're willing to get a pixie cut to chop off the previous colour, the two tone, faded colour and grey roots look is fucking shite. I admitted defeat last summer and I look a million times better.

It may not suit your style but have you considered henna? Not bright red but a more subtle brownish colour? I am younger than you but have been very grey forever! I touch it up monthly at home. I can use a lush henna bar to do three dyes. (My hair is very straight but bum length). I’m just so efficient at using it after about 15 years! So it costs me about £5 a month. I use henna as it doesn’t split or damage my hair so I can keep it really long. Also it makes it really shiny looking. I love it once I’ve done it each month. Also if I miss a grey patch (I have many) I can just do that bit again as it can be redone as often as you like. . A friend or family member to assist is good.
If you want more advice on applying let me know.

Also I just use primer (benefit or maybelline) and benefit that gal. Plus benetint . I find foundation or powder tends to make me look worse.

I find that Superdrug radiant hot cloth cleanser used occasionally makes my skin brighter.

Also hiit and weights. You could do yoga too on rest days. I did Joe Wicks starting when lock down began. Every Monday to Friday without fail. I then did different hiit work outs on you tube. I knew I was doing okay when I enjoyed burpees! Lots of walking (7-9km a day without fail). Pus hiit everyday Joe did it. It gets progressively harder over the lockdown work outs. I am very appreciative of his lock down work outs as they really improved my fitness levels. Completely free too.

‘I know you don't wanna dye your hair OP, but I recommend dying your hair.‘

I know, I know it’s just taken such a long time and the freedom is amazing. But it is a frizzy mess. Maybe a smoothing treatment. I have used henna (red) and you can’t dye over it so I had to crop it in the end.

Some of the exercise ideas are really helpful. I really want to stop looking so flabby. Three c-sections hasn’t helped and menopause has tipped me over the edge.

I think asking about the cosmetic procedures is because some bits of me can’t be helped. The awful bumpy hooked nose makes me so self conscious, and then having tiny hooded piggy eyes either side and thin lips - nothing really is going to change that.

However I have seen today that a small tweak is actually worth it. Next step is hair and eye lashes I think.

Moroccanoil shampoo + oil. You won't regret it

When you look at the photo think about all the wonderful things you have done and experienced. I bet the people that love you love the way you look.

Small things often. I’m no beauty, but make the most of what I’ve got. Hair is super important, l don’t have good hair, and it will look shite natural, so get a natural colour over it and it really evens out the frizzy texture. I always just put a semi perm natural brown over it…
Brows once a month
Teeth whitening once a year
Walk everyday
Change up skin products, few masks, few hair treatments, couple of drops of face tanner, keep nails in top nick, buy an awesome outfit

All the little bits make a difference :)

Being happy works wonders too!

Tinted lip gloss, light foundation, natural eyeshadow, hair oi
I sound high maintenance but it feels all simple stuff. Getting the brows right makes a huge difference
I need to lose a few kilos, start today! Thanks for motivation!

Mates just posted photos and she looks amazing her eyes were quite hooded, I’ve asked and apparently her daughter got her to try some sticker things. She’s very happy although I think she’s saving for surgery.

I can probably advise if you have some photos . I Have had a few treatments done and am very into that sphere :)

What helps everyone :

Sunscreen daily
Prescription retinoid ( Dermatica or skin and me )
Laser resurfacing
Botox

Likely some kind of volume add filler but can't comment without a photo

Omg steval thank you but there’s no way! Far too excruciating! Bump in prominent nose, tiny hooded eyes, very clear 11s, wrinkles around lips.

I've been reading your thread with interest OP as I need to sort myself out a bit too.

Just a note about botox though. If you're vegan you might want to reconsider because each batch is separately tested on mice. I have crossed botox off my list since I read this. I don't think animals should suffer for beauty (or anything really, but especially not beauty). Just my opinion and not wishing to start a debate.

If your diet is vegan - make sure it contains enough fresh food, fruit and veg, healthy oils, nuts, seeds, rather than vegan junk food

What's your posture like? I ask as mine is really poor and is instantly ageing , so something to be mindful of

Do some kind of exercise every day

If you are unhappy with your hair being a mishmash of brown and grey, it would probably make sense to dye it again until the roots are coming through only grey. Colouring your hair will make it look smoother as well .

Changes in make-up / grooming eg having your brows done are useful quick fixes but personally I wouldn't consider any invasive treatments unless as a last resort .

Hopefully you will feel more positive with the HRT.

@PeaceONoeuf

Omg steval thank you but there’s no way! Far too excruciating! Bump in prominent nose, tiny hooded eyes, very clear 11s, wrinkles around lips.

I personally will be having an upper bleth surgery when the time comes for the hooded eye - Botox & filler will def help!

The Botox will completely annihilate your 11s, can lift your eyebrows, and get rid of a lot of the wrinkles around your eyes.

Where I live, having 3 areas done (forehead, eyes and 11s) costs £250. It's so worth it. The actual "freezing" doesn't last very long (a couple of months) BUT the wrinkles are much fainter afterwards and take ages to come back.

It also seems to smooth the skin. You just look fresher, somehow.

I'd go it as soon as you can as the results will be dramatic, and that'll give you such a boost.

Other things I did when I get a bit frumpy:

Joined WW and lost 4 stone. That did affect my face, though - it's not kind on the face losing weight in your 40s! But my body looks younger so it's worth it.

Hair vitamins. I take the £££ StarPower hair vitamins from Holland & Barrett. I get them when they're in the penny sale. My hair has never been thicker or shinier, plus it's boosted my eyelashes and brows, PLUS they give me energy.

Finding a haircut that works with your hair texture. You'll struggle if you try to get sleek, straight hair. Get it cut into a style that accentuates the waves, and lets the frizz fall into curls or waves.

Fake tan! God it picks you up. Start with a gradual one if you're a newbie.

Make up. ByTerry f oh bastion takes years off, plus they do an eye lifting serum that really helps with hooded eyelids.