How to look less awful for next years photos…

[PeaceONoeuf]

So - I look dreadful. Wrinkled round my eyes and mouth, weird mish mash of grey and brown frizzy hair, middle aged spread, tiny thin lips, massive hooked nose and chin - I don’t care about looking my age but I’m embarrassed in public now.
I don’t want to start dying my grey, I can’t face that. Aside from that how do I stop cringing at photos / shop windows etc? Just started HRT so hoping that gives me a bit of a lift.
I used to be very slim, long pretty hair and nice looking. Hitting 45 (I’m 49) has been the slide downwards.

What can I do? Maybe tiny lip filler? Or Botox? I need to save to get my hooded eyes done but that’s £££.

I’m in the same boat, but I started doing something about it a few weeks back.

I bought a couple of outfits that actually fit my one and a half stone heavier frame. A skirt, a dress and a pair of trousers. I’m struggling with T-shirts, they ride up, I’ve got some boyfriend shirts I wear all the time with a jumper.

I took December off from exercising because I was just exhausted and I had some heavy emotional setbacks.

I had my haircut. First time in over a year. My dog get more haircuts than me!! Currently in a bath with a hair mask on.

I have really hooded eyes, to the point where you can’t see the eyeliner, so I started elongating the flick and putting a bit of sparkly eyeshadow on the inner corners, and some white crayon on the lower inner lid, it seems to open up my eyes a bit. I need new glasses 😬
Next time I have them threaded, I’ll ask for an eyelash lift and tint!
My skin is awful after over a year of FPP3 and masks, really dry and I’m rubbing at moisturising it properly. I just bought some serum, got an acid peeling mask on, and I also got some neck cream, I’ve gone all turkey. It won’t cure it, but if it moisturises it, I’m happy.
I’m really jowly and got bags under my eyes. I need to drink more water and actually massage my face properly. I’ve got a jade roller to get the lymph nodes going a bit.
Going to do RED january, that’ll sort the excess fat.
And I started HRT, so hopefully that’ll take care of the resting bitch face I’m sporting at the moment.

So, @PeaceONoeuf, you’re not alone. Baby steps:)

I've always had droopy eyelids and they're getting worse- I'm in my late 30s now. I am "financially challenged" so until I can afford to save any non-surgical/ surgical options are off the table for me. I use these on my eyelids though.

400pcs Invisible Slim Single-Sided Eyelid Tapes Stickers, Medical-use Fiber Eyelid Strips, Instant lift Eye Lid Without Surgery, Perfect for Hooded, Droopy, Uneven, Mono-eyelids www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08K8BJ5TJ/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_GG80007MFWF9K81DZMB2

They take me a couple of seconds per eye to stick on and they open up my eyes loads. Combined with a decent pair of eyelash curlers and mascara I actually look awake rather than droopy and knackered. I've tried lvl lash lifts etc but I have quite short eyelashes so they've never been worth it really.

Eye lash curler wise I use Shu uemera ones from years ago- expensive but I've used them practically every day for the last 9 years and my bargain mascara- I use lash princess by essence from wilko- nicest mascara I've used in years.

You Tube had some videos on eye make-up tips and techniques for hooded eyelids.

@mumofthemonsters808

I refuse to believe you look anywhere near the way you describe yourself, we are so critical about our flaws our eyes home in on them and our mind has a field day.Look after yourself by all means, some great tips have been given, fresh food, limited alcohol are your best friends, everyday look in the mirror and force yourself to focus on one thing you like and no matter how bad you feel, you must find this, repeat day in and day out and you will see yourself very differently.Forget Botox fillers the only thing that needs fixing is your mind.

I think this may be true for some, but it wasn't for me. Two years ago I looked pretty bad. Tired, two stone heavier, hair not great, skin dull with sagging and wrinkles. I barely noticed though as I was so busy. Its only old photos that show me. I went on a health kick at the start of lockdown 1, lost the weight, which inspired me to work on other aspects of my appearance, and now Iook objectively the best I ever have, which isn't bad at 52. So while I'm all for increaed self esteem being based on less superficial things, I think its still fair to say appearance can be dramatically improved, and a lot of people feel much better for it.

I'm learning that there is no quick fix, it's lose weight if you need to, eat healthier foods, drink more water and take care of skin and hair and teeth.

Once that's in place then you can look to haircuts, brows, waxes etc.

Once that's in place, then you can look at the makeups and style etc.

And once that's in place, then you can decide if you need a little help from the fillers etc.

You don't look as bad as you think you do, but if you are that sure you do, a new blush won't help right now. Start at the beginning.

I'm learning that there is no quick fix, it's lose weight if you need to, eat healthier foods, drink more water and take care of skin and hair and teeth
Once that's in place then you can look to haircuts, brows, waxes etc

Once that's in place, then you can look at the makeups and style etc

I see what you are saying but I think the weight loss is a longer term project. The other things such as eyebrows , lashes, make up, haircuts are quick 'wins' and a good confidence boost especially in the long term journey of weight loss. If I had to wait 9 months before I did my hair and brows etc I would be completely deflated.

N9 its def a longer project( just ask my scales!) But what I mean to say is, when you have sorted your diet, when you have plans and structures in place, then you can move on to the next phase in conjunction with the first one.

To my mind, and it's def true for me, I've been in a position when I think new makeup or a haircut will help, but I'm so miserable with dry skin and frizzy hair, it makes no difference.

Starting at the beginning to me means looking at the whole picture of who you want to be, and taking the right steps to get there. Not wanting to dye your hair, but happy to get fillers suggests a quick fix, and that's never possible.

So I’ve read all the messages and I’m sorry for not replying individually but I have gathered some really useful ideas and am going to:
Drink water instead of Diet Coke and do dry January
Try an eye lash tint and lift
Find a different hair dresser (looking at people who have similar but better hair)
Think of an exercise to try - I hate running and swimming but I was thinking maybe yoga? For posture and toning?
Already vegan but think about any alternatives to convenience food

But I am also going to try to save for Botox and eye surgery. Slightly bit sure about fillers now but might have a look for people who do older people?

Botox would be doable this year. Eyes I need to save for.

I just need to keep the momentum because I feel like I look so awful it’s pointless. I just wear joggers and stuff because there’s no point making an effort when my actual self looks so bad - I don’t really know what’s happened I did look really nice once upon a time!

@PeaceONoeuf

So I’ve read all the messages and I’m sorry for not replying individually but I have gathered some really useful ideas and am going to: Drink water instead of Diet Coke and do dry January Try an eye lash tint and lift Find a different hair dresser (looking at people who have similar but better hair) Think of an exercise to try - I hate running and swimming but I was thinking maybe yoga? For posture and toning? Already vegan but think about any alternatives to convenience food

But I am also going to try to save for Botox and eye surgery. Slightly bit sure about fillers now but might have a look for people who do older people?

Botox would be doable this year. Eyes I need to save for.

My weight loss is 90% down to switching to a vegan diet, but all whole foods, minimal processed and cook from scratch, which I find quick and easy without meat to faff with. I'm lucky I don't like vegan chocolate or substitutes though. I've not only lost weight, my shape has totally changed and I now have a very small waist and no belly fat, which I thought impossible at my age.

I’ve found that having Botox as a “brow lift” has helped to lift my hooded eyes by raising the eyebrows slightly. It worked much better than I could have hoped for.

Oh those messages are hopeful - I definitely need to go back to cooking properly and not eating hummus and crisps. I think Botox sounds from this thread like a good ‘try’ especially as not permanent.

I am trying really hard not to be overwhelmed with how pointless it is - unless I had major surgery I’m still going to look like this but maybe some tweaking will make me look less embarrassing?
A man shouted at me in the street I was ugly several years ago and it was maybe the point where I realised.

This gave me a slightly fuller top lip (it had virtually disappeared as I reach 70)
I also do her other exercises.

Re exercise , yoga has completely toned me up and sorted my posture from to much desk time, you need to try vinyasa or a similar faster paced type..but it has been life changing for me.
Yoga is also great for encouraging you to start focusing on yourself, your feelings etc. If you can find a good class I would highly recommend it.

@PeaceONoeuf

Oh those messages are hopeful - I definitely need to go back to cooking properly and not eating hummus and crisps. I think Botox sounds from this thread like a good ‘try’ especially as not permanent.

Botox is fantastic, and very safe as long as you go to an experienced doctor. I get it for medical reasons (bad migraines), but it has cosmetic effects too and I was really surprised by how much I like it. I'd never really expected to get Botox but I have absolutely no regrets.

Don't switch from blusher to bronzer unilaterally!! Blusher done right in a fresh shade, maybe a cream format, can make you look much more youthful than bronzer.

Oh maybe I typed wrong - I mean my bronzer to blusher as a pp suggested it.
Botox sounds like a win from comments on here.

I’m so sorry a man shouted at you in the street PeaceONoeuf that’s so horrible. Please don’t let that person affect your self esteem. Some men just hate women.
It’s easier said than done I know, my brother called me ugly as a teenager and I never forgot it.
I’m taking notes and inspiration from this thread so thank you for starting it.

It’s so hard though because why would they say it? I’m sorry something similar has stuck with you, it does hang in your head. I’m really happy to have this thread being useful for you tothesea (and anyone else) - I keep looking at my hair and wondering what to do.

OP, also take a look at the Princessing thread - there are a lot of people in similar circumstances looking to make changes to their appearance.

Although the princess-themed title might be unappealing, it’s a good place to get help, sharing tips and motivation - being accountable to randoms on MN can help with actually doing it.

I definitely need to go back to cooking properly and not eating hummus and crisps
It doesnt have to be all or nothing. It's the quickest way many people fail( including me) have hummus, have crisps, why not? But enjoy them and be mindful of what else you are eating. Food is to be loved and enjoyed.

So a fella shouts out to you on the street. I've had that loads in my life. Once a group of lads shouted out I had ' a fat arse' now to be fair to them, they were correct. My area was as still is to a certain degree fat. However there was no need to state the obvious. I stopped in my tracks and turned to them and said " yeah, and...." one was a bit cocky and said " well, your arse is fat' I asked them did they think they I didnt know that. It got really awkward for them so i asked why were they telling me something i already knew.
It still makes me laugh thinking about it.

People who pull shit like this must be really lacking with their own self esteem.

I had fillet to lift my eyes a bit and some Jowely bits in my face. It does work wonders

I have seen the Princess threads but never opened them as the name is a bit suggestive of ‘pretty’. I will take a look next time. I’m thinking maybe nails as well so that my hands look groomed. Maybe gel nails?
Hair I have no idea I can’t commit to a style as I always let it grow out then have it cut etc. But the two tone is awful - too much grey to dye it and too much natural colour to look sophisticated. Plus the frizz is horrible - I’ve tried olaplex and didn’t love it. What I really want is straight hair I think.

Update:
So I had my eyebrows threaded and nails gelled today - oh wow my eyebrows look so sleek. Will definitely do this again as it’s very cheap and a quick win.