How do you dress? What is your 'style'?

[beatrixpotterspencil]

I've often been confused about my own, and wonder how common this is.

Lived in a place with harsh weather for many years and lived in hiking leggings and north face, base layers, waterproofs, etc. Never had to think much about it but to be honest I din't like the 'style' of it. I hate tight clothes and most of it was clingy and blockish looking because it was more practical than pretty, iyswim?

In recent years I have moved, and live somewhere less demanding. I can dress how I like now. But finding what I want is often tricky. I love skirts, natural fibres, wool knits, but still wear my docs as I do adore boots.

But I sometimes get it really wrong, and I wonder if my clothes suit me (DP and friends always compliment my stuff but surely they would haha!). I don't like run of the mill so don't do jeans or leggings, and feel comfy and happy in skirts/dresses/tights and a lovely, long tweed coat.....but I don't really know what truly suits me. How can I tell?
I am very slim, decent hair (blond) and average height, so people might simply say I can wear what I like but it don't think such 'attributes' mean much at the end of the day. I am confident enough but just bizarrely confused, i think.
I am torn between thinking I ought to just wear practical (leggings and a nice top, boring anorak) things that don't excite me but just do their job - and wanting things that I love but often get wrong (online shopping, uuurgh).

Every few years I scrap my style and try something else, but always go back. I certainly can overthink it, which is mostly enjoyable, but often irritating.

How do you people feel about your 'style', and what is it that determines how you dress? Is it mostly for practical reasons or do you have particular interest in certain types of stuff?
Are you happy with how you dress, and how would you describe it?

Apologies for long, whiny, first world problem type post!

I'm definitely of the "classic" school here: well-cut jeans, great knitwear, shirts, tailored jackets etc. I don't follow fashion; I've worked out what suits my body shape and stick with that, especially getting further into my late thirties (although to be fair, I was like this in my twenties. A brief flirt with the "boho" phase back in 2004 made me realise I should stick with what I know).

I play with colour more than shape. It's not so much that I couldn't wear certain items and look ok, its more that it doesn't feel like it suits my personality.

I have a definite style. Pretty much every day I wear a print dress in colours I like. In winter I add thin merino jumper / sweater vest and boots. In summer I wear with Birkenstock's / white trainers. In winter the dresses tend toward dark jewel colours, in summer more whites and blues. I pair with gold earrings and pendant. I have v long wavy hair which I like too.

I love it! Makes me feel sort of special and comfy at the same time.

Oh and I've no idea what other people think about my style and thinking about it I don't care! I am late 40s.

On a work day I tend to wear Jean's Nikes, a fitted t shirt and a zip hoody for a layer. This look is accepted for nearly all aspects ts of my job. If I have to go to court I would put a dress and jacket on.
Informal going out tends to be Jean's, t shirt and biker jacket or Belstaff.
Going out ' out' is usually a dress that I've got from Silk Fred or Nancy Mac depending on the occasion. I do like my retro dresses from Joanie, Oh Betty and Lady Vintage as well though and have loads of them.
I'm comfortable with what I wear and I have just realized my look hasn't changed that much since i was 14!

What do you mean by you 'get it wrong?

Do you either like it and it looks good on you? You like it but it looks crap on you?
You don't like it?

I don't think I have a style so much as I know what I like, I know what i think would look good on me, I know what works with what I have already and I'm not afraid of trying things on and sending them back if they look shite.

I don't have a style as such, but I know what colours and shapes suit me best and stick with those. Mostly dark jewel colours, v neck tops/jumpers rather than round, nothing too boxy on top. I hate stripes and 99% of prints, so focus on nicer plain fabrics.

Centering my look around certain colour combos means everything mostly goes together.

I am influenced by fashion but veer towards minimal Scandinavian & Japanese inspired styles. I’ve just cut my hair short which has changed how everything looks so I’ll probably we wearing more of my blazers and shirts with wide legged, pleated trousers and trainers. If you want to work out your style I’d recommend The Curated Closet - a British author despite the title.

Actually, looking at my wardrobe most of it is Jersey dresses, bootcut jeans and jumpers to wear with said jeans.

Thanks for sharing, this is fascinating, to hear how other people see it.
I'm not a fan of trends either and don't like regular high street stuff.

I think that I am having a sort of mild existential crisis
A friend mentioned my colouring yesterday, saying how amazing I would look in sapphire/purple-blue, cool lilacs, etc. I had never thought about it before and realise most of my clothes are earthy colours and no idea if i suit them!

Another weird thing : I've never been a fan of Seasalt, but was in a store for first time ever the other day. For fun I tried on a softly patterned tunic to my tights/boots and looked really, really good! This totally shocked me as I thought I hated tunics and pattern. I mean i really did look great in it.
In comparison, when i put my own clothes back on again, I looked a bit ...less good!

So yeh, confused. I definitely know what I like, but wonder if it suits me.

My general style I'd describe as slightly androgynous, slightly minimal, blocky, occasionally with a dash of street / graphic / 80s aesthetic.

I wear quite a lot of oversized stuff and I'm brave with colour. I generally don't wear floral or ditzy prints. I wear mostly trousers and jeans. I do have a lot of dresses but they're not girly or fitted.

Do you either like it and it looks good on you? You like it but it looks crap on you? You don't like it?

I wonder if what I like and am drawn to might not suit me best.
I am lucky in that I think most things 'suit me' (or i can get away with them), but knowing and sticking to a personal style is my weakness.

I could have written a post similar.

2 pregnancies, some lockdowns which involved over indulging and not enough exercise for several years have resulted in a total change of body shape and a couple of stone heavier than I was 4 years ago.

Weirdly I feel more comfortable in my own skin except in clothes. I genuinely don't know how to dress myself anymore, I have no idea what suits me. So I hope you don't mind but I'm just following along your thread to see the responses🙂

I have several styles. Fashion is my hobby. I'm not willing to only have one style because I don't want to choose between the pretty but impractical stuff and the practical but less in-your-face stuff. I don't do boring! Even my practical stuff eg jeans and jumper is still very "me". My styles are very different from each other so I keep the collections separately. That way it doesn't all become jumbled up into one big mismatched mess of "nothing to wear".

The mirror will tell me what looks good on me. Age and experience usually has me knowing at purchasing stage, long before I get to the mirror, but I always check front and back view there in case I've made a mistake. Hair and makeup plays a role too. Because I have clothing in more than one style I also have different ways of doing my hair and makeup (which means different products and styling accessories). The wrong hair and makeup, even whilst being something that suits me, can totally ruin the overall look I'm aiming for with the clothes. So if you're liking an outfit and it feels very "you" but at the same time when you check the mirror you're feeling there's something "off" about the overall look without being able to find a reason for that, try experimenting with hair and makeup.

As for what suits me, it's about tapping into my personality. There are styles I don't buy into because although they look great on me they don't suit my personality, so an outfit in that style doesn't feel "me".

I'm sensing some, IDK what, maybe guilt? About being frivolous versus stark practicality. It's ok to want to do more than cover your nakedness. It's ok to dress for your mood, as much as for the weather or the task. And as long as you have the money and the space, it's fine to have more than one wardrobe and for them to contain totally different clothes. You sound as though you've always dressed for pure practicality without giving any more thoughts to it than that. But now you're tired of that mindset? That's fine, you know. You're allowed to change.

Mumsnet is very anti fast fashion, which is generally a good thing but unless you're loaded, experimenting with cheaper clothes until you've found your basic style(s) is going to be more practical. Second hand is good too and more ethical. In terms of knowing how to put things together, I get ideas from online shopping websites, Google images search, fashion magazines and people watching. But I still need to filter out what I'm admiring on someone else because I like the style in an abstract way or because it suits them, from what I'm admiring because it would make me feel more "me". I lay clothes out on the bed when I'm experimenting with outfits, this gives me an idea of whether it works without the effort of trying everything on. Some things I rule out because the colours aren't quite right together etc.

I dress slightly like an escaped circus performer. I am very comfortable with this :-D

@Pricolas that's exciting, you've found yourself, which has to be a good place to start from. First, I'd go through your wardrobe getting rid of anything that makes you sigh just to look at it or elicits thought of "I suppose that'll do" etc. Then see what's left. You want to keep only the stuff that has you looking forward to getting dressed.

@ThatWriterInTheCorner

I dress slightly like an escaped circus performer. I am very comfortable with this :-D

My favourite reply so far! On a a serious note, I kinda hate 'ordinary' so i see this as a good thing.

Im often described as "glamourous". I prefer dresses and wear them pretty much constantly. I like red lipstick,heels and a vintage vibe. I love leopard print and faux fur and accessories. I know what suits my body shape but sometimes get sucked in by trends on the high street(and regret it!)

I'm a (slightly lazy) goth. All my clothes are black and purple. I wear a lot of heavy silver jewellery and huge clompy boots. In summer I do wear Birks. I don't constrain myself to quasi-Victoriana though; I live in a very rainy place so I do have a Seasalt waterproof coat because it does a good job. I used to do the makeup but I really can't be bothered any more. They will have to bury me in my leather jacket though!

ShineySparkleyChrissmassy

Thank you for such an interesting and helpful post.
It may be true that I am confused due to having a different lifestyle/environment that I used to. Practicality was forced on me previously due to endless rain, wind and rurality. Now I am somewhere a little more easy going and feel odd wearing those old things.

I'm possibly struggling to address that and forge a new path.
However, I have always preferred skirts/dresses, but more casual than glam. I don't really do glam. Always felt uncomfortable in jeans/trousers. So I began to build a new wardrobe with skirts, etc, and keep wondering if the weather will eventually destroy them, as I don't yet drive (was going to learn before covid scuppered it) so need to walk a lot.
I wouldn't call it guilt, but more like a distrust of things that aren't fit for climbing a Cumbrian fell!

Love the way I feel in skirts and tights, so liberated and comfy. I do suit them but just struggle to know how to put it all together.

Also, could anyone advise me what to wear to stop rain bothering my clothes?
I have a couple of lovely wool coats and a decent summer jacket, but I can't for the life of me work out how to cover myself in heavy rain if I like mini length skirts. The only thing I have seen is this (picture) and the cape puts me right off.

For fun I tried on a softly patterned tunic to my tights/boots and looked really, really good!

OP, please tell me you bought it? All your clothes should make you feel like this.

@ShineySparkleyChrissmassy

For fun I tried on a softly patterned tunic to my tights/boots and looked really, really good!

OP, please tell me you bought it? All your clothes should make you feel like this.

Yes, I did. Worn it a few times since, very comfy and flattering. Whenever I browse Seasalt online though I never see anything that I think would work for me. I am perhaps a little out of touch with how to recognise what suits me in many ways.

I have various styles. One is a plain/minimal/maybe tomboyish look with dark jeans, boots, fine knit tops and t-shirts. Wear this more in winter and for WFH as an everyday uniform.

But I also love colour and print, so in summer I often wear a print maxi dress or skirt, or jeans with a flowy print top or skinny stripe vest. And sometimes also wear print skirt or dress in winter with tights, boots and jumper.

It does evolve over time, but also has a few core principles. I'm pear-shaped and long-waisted and look terrible in things like pencil skirts or bulky jackets - I feel my best in basics and flowy, skimming styles. I have big feet and always wear flat boots, trainers or sandals - heels never, ever work on me. High necks look awful, I need a big round neck or deep v. And so on. I've bought many things I liked the look of but had to accept they don't work and make me feel awkward. But I still like trying new fashions and looks to experiment. Colour also matters a lot - I love greys, taupes, pinks, yellows, greens and can wear black but blue looks totally dreadful. If I ever wear blue people ask if I'm ill.

I love clothes and have various items that feel so "me". When I see something I absolutely love, I buy if I can because I know it will get a lot of use. It's very instinctive in that way and is all about feeling right in myself. And a large part of that is about fabric and how it makes me feel. I love sewing and can be in raptures over a beautiful linen, vintage pillowcase off ebay or fabulous print. It's very much about style, and my style, not fashion for its own sake.

Yes it is something not everyone can indulge in, but I still think people all over the world care about style and expressing themselves with clothes and looks. That in itself is not a first-world thing, more just an affordability thing.

Yes it is something not everyone can indulge in, but I still think people all over the world care about style and expressing themselves with clothes and looks. That in itself is not a first-world thing, more just an affordability thing

Great post, makes a lot of sense to me.
The above quote reminds me that sometimes indulging in thoughts about clothes and having a bit of a fuss is a nice distraction in tough times. And for many, to some degree or another, these are tough times!

I've changed style a few times over the years. Broadly speaking I've switched between androgyny and boho and back to androgyny again, and in between, I've flirted with Grace Kelly glamour.

I think we've got far too hung up on body shape and on chasing this notion of what's flattering. I won't pretend I ignore it but I worry about it less and less. Furthermore the less I worry, the more I enjoy getting dressed. As far as I'm concerned, if you feel best in 'skirts/dresses/tights and a lovely, long tweed coat' then that's the look that suits you.

Re bad weather coats: I resisted tacking this till I was in my 60s then threw money at the problem and splashed out on a Margaret Howell knee length Barbour. It's not perfect but it's the best solution I've found. I blame British design - celebrated for its creativity yet won't engage with the fact that we live in a wet, often cold-ish climate.