How do you dress? What is your 'style'?

[beatrixpotterspencil]

I've often been confused about my own, and wonder how common this is.

Lived in a place with harsh weather for many years and lived in hiking leggings and north face, base layers, waterproofs, etc. Never had to think much about it but to be honest I din't like the 'style' of it. I hate tight clothes and most of it was clingy and blockish looking because it was more practical than pretty, iyswim?

In recent years I have moved, and live somewhere less demanding. I can dress how I like now. But finding what I want is often tricky. I love skirts, natural fibres, wool knits, but still wear my docs as I do adore boots.

But I sometimes get it really wrong, and I wonder if my clothes suit me (DP and friends always compliment my stuff but surely they would haha!). I don't like run of the mill so don't do jeans or leggings, and feel comfy and happy in skirts/dresses/tights and a lovely, long tweed coat.....but I don't really know what truly suits me. How can I tell?
I am very slim, decent hair (blond) and average height, so people might simply say I can wear what I like but it don't think such 'attributes' mean much at the end of the day. I am confident enough but just bizarrely confused, i think.
I am torn between thinking I ought to just wear practical (leggings and a nice top, boring anorak) things that don't excite me but just do their job - and wanting things that I love but often get wrong (online shopping, uuurgh).

Every few years I scrap my style and try something else, but always go back. I certainly can overthink it, which is mostly enjoyable, but often irritating.

How do you people feel about your 'style', and what is it that determines how you dress? Is it mostly for practical reasons or do you have particular interest in certain types of stuff?
Are you happy with how you dress, and how would you describe it?

Apologies for long, whiny, first world problem type post!

@Double3xposure what’s this Danish architect look? I am a Danish architect!

Off to Google!

[quote Inquisitivearchitect]@Double3xposure what’s this Danish architect look? I am a Danish architect!

Off to Google![/quote]

Do you live in Denmark? It’s probably what you call normal clothes

@Double3xposure high five! I live in England! I love this…. This exact style would suit me.

I have just realised I dress my house better than I dress myself (which is very Danish!)

I don't do girly or ditsy.

On the summer, I wear brogues. I have a variety of colours. I tend to wear barrel-leg jeans if I can the buggers to fit, or mum styles. I also wear skinnies still (horrors).

I never wear thick jumpers or high necks, unless it's a nice polo. I like bright colours, never patterns.

Jumpers are fine and t shirts are boxy. I like oversized shirts but they swamp me.

I have a massive statement watch and big earrings. Boots are either long chelsea or clumpy like DMs.

Hair is short and "big". Coats are generally big - current favourite is a faux fur one (from M and S).

Brands are Levi, Arket, some Zara mixed in with Hush, French Connection and anything mid-range.

The only sludgy colour I like is Khaki. I wear lots of makeup, always.

A recent addition to my working wardrobe is a relaxed jersey blazer which I team with a pair of black Lucy and Yaks baggy trousers. It works, somehow.

I'm smallish.

[quote Inquisitivearchitect]@Double3xposure high five! I live in England! I love this…. This exact style would suit me.

I have just realised I dress my house better than I dress myself (which is very Danish!)[/quote]
I’m so jealous! I wish my house was very Danish .

@whatamilookingfor

I have a definite style. Pretty much every day I wear a print dress in colours I like. In winter I add thin merino jumper / sweater vest and boots. In summer I wear with Birkenstock's / white trainers. In winter the dresses tend toward dark jewel colours, in summer more whites and blues. I pair with gold earrings and pendant. I have v long wavy hair which I like too.

I love it! Makes me feel sort of special and comfy at the same time.

Sounds lovely!

OP lilac could work with what you already have.

First find the colours/shades of colours which suits you. Hold everything up to your face in good light while looking in the mirror. The ones that make you look dull or ill are a no, the ones that make you look bright skin or your eye colour pops those ones are a yes. You can wear something not good colour-wise on your bottom half if its not next to your skin eg long trousers or skirt with tights.

Over time you'll develop an eye for what works with your natural colouring. If you change your hair colour you might also need to change your makeup and some of your clothing colours/shades. As long as your hair colour suits your skin, colours that worked best will still work, but those that you were just getting away with might not.

To ensure you buy lilacs that match your current wardrobe, you need to know if what you already have has gold, silver, pink, blue, or yellow etc undertones so something blue could have pink undertones which will become more obvious if you put it next to a blue with silver undertones.

Fabrics look warm or cool and your eye will get used to assessing this. This is why it's not as simple as saying eg green doesn't suit you. It might be true or it might be that a particular shade of green doesn't suit you. Don't limit yourself to comparing your clothes with each other, use other items around your house, colour is everywhere and you're trying to get your eye in. If you're going to buy eg a jumper to match a skirt, wear the skirt while you shop so you're not wasting a try on opportunity.

You can clash colours as much as you like, if the undertones are similar (as well as the shapes of each garment working together well, alongside the shape of the body they're on, with the colours suiting the skin) and it generally looks good, put together and not like you got dressed in the dark.

With styles (and colours) I think you're at the trying on random clothes/outfits stage, to give yourself an idea of what works for you and what you like. You could go to someone, a paid service, who will do this for you and give you a blueprint for where to start. Some swear by this, perhaps if they're short of time. Takes all the fun out of it IMO! I like experimenting by myself and don't find it frustrating. You will make the odd purchasing mistake, without a doubt, but it's less likely to happen if you go about your shopping consciously and logically, with a bit of a plan. Maybe your friend who's into fashion would let you do a try on with her wardrobe? Or go round tons of shops trying stuff. Or buy bulk sacks of clothes very cheaply off Facebook etc then donate them all afterwards. At the moment you need access to lots of different styles/colours to start weeding out what doesn't work for you and learning to recognise what does. You don't have to do any of this, but since you're unhappy with your wardrobe it would make sense to.

How long have you been building your capsule wardrobe? I'm wondering if you're being impatient. It takes time to build a collection of items you truly love (and which love you back), all of which work well with each other. It's not something you can do overnight. Maybe what you actually need at this point isn't more items but a cull, to rid yourself of anything that doesn't work for you, then see what's left and use that as your starting point for deciding what to add in first.

You've already started the process with thinking about what's the lesser of the evils regards how cold and wet you're prepared to get in the name of fashion!

Wearing what suits you or “making the most of yourself” only matters if it makes you feel happier/more confident.

In terms of what’s flattering, I think colouring, features, style and body shape are all equally important. I’m a winter gamine (kibbe), a petite inverted triangle - but I have always instinctively worn those shapes/colours/styles without thinking about why or following rules as they’re clearly what suit me, and I feel better in them.

My style icons haven’t really changed since I was young, I love 60s French style (Birkin, Bardot, Françoise Hardy etc) and have just adapted the way I reference it as I age (I’m approaching 40) and to keep it contemporary looking.

I’ve tweaked my wardrobe (but not my fundamental style) a couple of times - post-baby to be more practical, and when I moved overseas and felt my eclectic London look stood out too much in a sea of black. Both times I went too far/minimalist and later corrected course. I wear a lot of black and denim but I have a magpie streak and love a decorative detail: (sophisticated) animal print, embroidery, fabric-covered buttons, à sparkly knit, otherwise I don’t feel like me.

Pinterest is great for helping you identify common themes in looks and items you’re drawn to. I’ve never had success getting a friend to pick what I should try, I know my body/colouring/shape and what works for them best.

Some great advice from @ShineySparkleyChrissmassy. I would also add, one of the biggest things that help me work out what suits me best is to take selfies. Lots of selfies of you in each outfit/ piece of clothing. For some reason I am able to assess an outfit more accurately in a photo. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think I look fine, only to then see in the photo that while it looks ok it isn’t as flattering as I thought. Other times I look into the mirror and think oh it makes my belly look big, or whatever and then check my photo and see that I was just honing in on one part of my body and actually the outfit is a really flattering fit. Other times I like an outfit and then in the photo I can se that it just isn’t quite me somehow. It also helps me to work out if two items work together as I cannot always look at a top and trousers etc and see if they go together. Somehow in the photo I know instantly if this is the case

Really great tips here, thank you all very, very much!
I used to do the photo thing many years ago when i had more natural light in the house and a giant mirror (our current house is like a house of shadows, a bit too harry potter for selfies ).

Photo-wise, the only thing that never, ever suited me was denim, in any style or form.

Colours are different of course, i have a suspicion that i may not have grasped which ones really do flatter me the most.

I will post a pic of me from last year. It is outing but i only have a few close friends/family and am wfh (self employed), so i dont see how it can.... destroy me
Sorry about humongous puffer coat, it is the only outdoor shot that shows my colours better.

I am also adding a photo of a model from pinterest that has a similar body/skin tone to me.

Can anyone suggest what might be the best colours for me?

My hair is currently much longer and paler at the moment. It is more pale ash than the warm tone it looks in the photo.

Sorry to read and run, just wanted to place-mark for later. Thanks OP - fantastic thread!

I would describe my style as “homeless man who has found some cashmere in the bin”

You look lovely OP! Impossible to say about colours for sure from a photo but I’m thinking you may be a spring or summer colouring. So lighter colours would suit you but if you are summer then navy, grey and jewel colours would look best on you. I am a summer and my most flattering colours are burgundy, forest green, navy, most greys and dusky pinks. I also look good in pastel colours eg purple, baby blue, powder pink but these just look too cutesy on me so I avoid. I’m not really sure about what colours are best for spring except that they tend to be softer colours. Hate to break it to you but autumnal/ earthy colours are ones to avoid. I look absolutely dreadful in oranges, yellows and browns, yet my sister who is an autumn looks amazing in them.

Thanks Essex. You know I feel like i don't have a clue anymore regarding colour. I can tell immediately when something isn't working, but you may be right about the earth tones.

I absolutely KNOW that:
Canary yellow
Lilac
Dusky petrol blue
Cool pinks, really really like me!

And likewise:
Navy
Most greys
Orange & warm reds
Browns really don't like me.

I never suit colours like you would see at Seasalt, Fat face, Gudrun Sjoden. But i do suit the pastel and soft hues at Poetry and White Co.

Gawd it's all a bit complicated isn't it??!!

Ha, yeh, i once had a canary yellow raincoat. That ubiquitous, fun colour! Whenever i put it on my face shone and my eyes sparkled, my skin looked delicious and clear.

So perhaps i ought to scrap the brooding, emily bronte landscape tones and just pop in to Joules, get myself a happy happy raincoat and some black leggings and shut tf up

I do suit pale, cool creams and beiges too. Paired with the yellow i look like ive slept well for 10 years solid..

I love the way we are all so different. Someone mentioned hair extensions, acrylic nails and make-up earlier - none of those would cross my radar in a million years, but I wear stuff that other people would regard as 'old lady'. I expect we all look pretty good.

And on that subject... OP, you would look incredible in a potato sack, so I don't think you need to worry, ever!

I think sometimes I’m held back back by my “style”. I like draping, ruching, asymmetrical plain clothes. Rarely do a print. Kind of All Saints/Cos type style.
But sometimes I see something beautiful like a lace jumper or a flouncy midi dress or shiny bag but then back away as it doesn’t “go” with my usual style. Like I would lose my identity or something which is crazy. So I think sometimes style can be limiting iyswim.

absolutely KNOW that:
Canary yellow
Lilac
Dusky petrol blue
Cool pinks, really really like me!

OP I think you are a spring . The canary yellow is a give away as very few people really suit it.

🤔 from that list you don’t sound like a summer palette. I would look like a corpse in canary yellow! Whereas navy and grey really suit me. Just had a look at spring and there is a lot of brown on there. Would you consider getting your colours done professionally? I had mine done years ago and it was a real game changer for me, although I did instinctively know a lot there were some colours I hadn’t considered eg burgundy and dusky pink. And both of those make my skin glow like nothing else. I also loved turquoise and used to wear it lots until I saw that it actually did me no favours. I never used to wear green at all as I was convinced it didn’t suit me, but the right shade of green looks lovely. I am envious of you suiting bright yellow - it’s such a happy colour! I would be tempted to wear it all the time if it didn’t look dreadful on me

I change according to mood.
Sometimes I'm quite classic chic.
Other times I'm bohemian earth mother.
Every so often it's a mix.
I would be extremely bored to pigeon hole myself into one style.

Thanks for the kind responses.

I possibly could be a spring who knows! I never thought they could be pale, cool tones or have blonde lashes/brows though?

I imagine many of us cant be categorised as we might be a mixture of two...

Agree with posters who mention style can be limiting. I hadn't thought of that. I used to be this was when i lived in the mountains - it seemed wild and insensible to ever purchase anything pretty or fine. It was arcteryx, north face and hiking boots all the way, and god that can get boring when it's all you ever wear...

Since not living in the hills, I am a bit lost. I have bought half a new wardrobe since covid and no real idea if any of it bloody sits me! Sometimes i feel like sodding it all off and going back to leggings, even though they are not the most comfy things.

suits me

I'm in mid 40s and like bright colours and big patterns and have no taste or subtlety at all! I like things that fashionistas would turn their nose up at as garish crap (Joe Browns, used to like Desigual, but it's gone a bit frumpy these days).

When younger I was bit indie kid/punky but now I feel a bit silly in anything too obviously leaning that way, though I like things with punky touches still - big boots, clothes with a hint of extra zips, buckles, tartan.

I do also like proper fashion and watching it and I do have some idea of what's fashionable but I could never, ever be bothered to keep up with it, nor be classically 'chic' because I'm too lazy to be well groomed enough for that. I admire dedication to fashion or chic in others, but it's not for me.