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How do you dress? What is your 'style'?

165 replies

beatrixpotterspencil · 09/12/2021 11:47

I've often been confused about my own, and wonder how common this is.

Lived in a place with harsh weather for many years and lived in hiking leggings and north face, base layers, waterproofs, etc. Never had to think much about it but to be honest I din't like the 'style' of it. I hate tight clothes and most of it was clingy and blockish looking because it was more practical than pretty, iyswim?

In recent years I have moved, and live somewhere less demanding. I can dress how I like now. But finding what I want is often tricky. I love skirts, natural fibres, wool knits, but still wear my docs as I do adore boots.

But I sometimes get it really wrong, and I wonder if my clothes suit me (DP and friends always compliment my stuff but surely they would haha!). I don't like run of the mill so don't do jeans or leggings, and feel comfy and happy in skirts/dresses/tights and a lovely, long tweed coat.....but I don't really know what truly suits me. How can I tell?
I am very slim, decent hair (blond) and average height, so people might simply say I can wear what I like but it don't think such 'attributes' mean much at the end of the day. I am confident enough but just bizarrely confused, i think.
I am torn between thinking I ought to just wear practical (leggings and a nice top, boring anorak) things that don't excite me but just do their job - and wanting things that I love but often get wrong (online shopping, uuurgh).

Every few years I scrap my style and try something else, but always go back. I certainly can overthink it, which is mostly enjoyable, but often irritating.

How do you people feel about your 'style', and what is it that determines how you dress? Is it mostly for practical reasons or do you have particular interest in certain types of stuff?
Are you happy with how you dress, and how would you describe it?

Apologies for long, whiny, first world problem type post! Blush

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beatrixpotterspencil · 09/12/2021 14:04

@Floisme

I've changed style a few times over the years. Broadly speaking I've switched between androgyny and boho and back to androgyny again, and in between, I've flirted with Grace Kelly glamour.

I think we've got far too hung up on body shape and on chasing this notion of what's flattering. I won't pretend I ignore it but I worry about it less and less. Furthermore the less I worry, the more I enjoy getting dressed. As far as I'm concerned, if you feel best in 'skirts/dresses/tights and a lovely, long tweed coat' then that's the look that suits you.

Re bad weather coats: I resisted tacking this till I was in my 60s then threw money at the problem and splashed out on a Margaret Howell knee length Barbour. It's not perfect but it's the best solution I've found. I blame British design - celebrated for its creativity yet won't engage with the fact that we live in a wet, often cold-ish climate.

Gosh you are so right about the lack of decent weather wear in the UK! I was discussing this with DP last night, how men's clothing has always been more practical (at least in the past 50 yrs) with less pointless design 'features' than women's. I used to wear jeans/leggings for years and hated it, just because they were easy to pair with raincoats, which are generally never made to compliment skirts.

I like your suggestion about clothes having to be flattering. I have a lovely long wool kilt thing that I don't wear enough because I tell myself i am too short for long wool skirts (i am 5'5!) but when i wear it am so bloody happy!

There's also this thing about standing out. I am not alternative or unusual in my clothes but everyone around me tends to wear a uniform of either sport/gymwear or jeans. I sometimes feel slightly afraid of wearing skirts because it can turn heads here Grin

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ShineySparkleyChrissmassy · 09/12/2021 14:19

Practicality was forced on me previously due to endless rain, wind and rurality. Now I am somewhere a little more easy going and feel odd wearing those old things.

So like an ugly rich old husband you thought you loved him because he gave you what you needed. But now you don't need him you've realised you can't stand the sight of him. Time to divorce, pass him on to someone who'll truly appreciate him.

I have always preferred skirts/dresses, but more casual than glam. I don't really do glam. Always felt uncomfortable in jeans/trousers. So I began to build a new wardrobe with skirts, etc, and keep wondering if the weather will eventually destroy them, as I don't yet drive (was going to learn before covid scuppered it) so need to walk a lot.

And now your carefully curated wardrobe of fledgeling skirts are at risk of being drowned in the rain, swept away in a torrent of oily water, broken sticks and unidentifiable black things in the gutter unless you keep them wrapped safe and warm and close to your heart. It's bollocks, you know Wink. Clothes shrink in the washing machine and tumble dryer, not in the rain. Unless you've done something really awful to upset God and he's raining down hailstones made of blades upon your unrepentant head, the weather is not going to destroy your clothes.

I wouldn't call it guilt, but more like a distrust of things that aren't fit for climbing a Cumbrian fell!

When was the last time you walked up a fell and how often do you do it? Do you actually need these clothes at all or are they just your familiar comfort blanket? Go put your blankie away in the box in the loft, you're a big girl now!

could anyone advise me what to wear to stop rain bothering my clothes?

There you go again, your clothes aren't bothered, the "precious" is all in your head Grin (Has visions of the OP stroking her skirts and muttering to herself, like the scraggy pixie creature in Lord Of The Rings).

I can't for the life of me work out how to cover myself in heavy rain if I like mini length skirts.

You don't. You get wet😜 . You take an umbrella and your wool coat, add some knee high boots and you accept a degree of dampness in exchange for looking good and feeling like yourself. Or you give up and get some jeans/jumpers that feel as much like "you" as possible (considering you don't like them) and you suck it up for 3 months, in exchange for not having biting winds whipping your wet legs at zero degrees in the dark, the whole time fantasising about spring and the return of your faithful friends the skirts. Or some combination thereof. See, you already need two winter wardrobes, one for dry or indoor days and one for wet days.

The only thing I have seen is this (picture) and the cape puts me right off.

Ah the coat, what can I say? Not a lot, for fear of it scurrying off to the back of the cupboard to cry. It's trying so hard, bless it. Born sensible and practical but trying to look glamorously girly. Top marks for effort, whispers but it's fugly . I don't mind the cape myself, but I'd want a better fabric. Something softer feeling and cozier looking, which would also make the cape hang better, although it wouldn't be waterproof then. And pink, you can tell in its heart it wants to be pink. Dusty pink to blend in with the grey winter skies.

RavingAnnie · 09/12/2021 14:29

I think I have settled on a mix of comfy/middle class mum/edgy. Some days more one than the other lol.

I have been ill for a few years now and def move more towards the middle class mum/comfy vibe but my natural taste is a bit more edgy so am trying to get back to that a little.

Just bought these that I'm v excited about 😬

It won't add the pic. I'll try below.....

beatrixpotterspencil · 09/12/2021 14:35

ShineySparkleyChrissmassy

Ok i am fu**ing dying here Grin
That is so perfectly put I almost shed tears laughing. I think I needed to hear this!

Put the blankie away......

Agree about the raincoat, it deos frighten me a little! Your description is a work of art.

The real issue with winter and wet weather is that it won't be predictable, so often I can spot a clear sky, decent wether report and go out merrily in my skirt/dress, and then .....heavens open. You are right it is not the end of the world.
It can't be predicted so the brolly idea is possibly best. Now, I don't like carrying them around when it isn't raining, but this might be more bearable than forcing myself into jeans. Decisions decisions.

OP posts:
Prickolas · 09/12/2021 14:36

@ShineySparkleyChrissmassy thank you, I fear I will be left with very little. To be honest, alot of my clothing is ill fitting and I'm squeezing myself into pre pandemic clothing which is one or two sizes too small.

I need to start investing in myself and I return to work soon so its a good time to do it. I started with bras and bought 6 last week which fit fabulously. I tried about 8 different pairs of jeans on recently but I don't feel any style suits me which is tricky because jeans were always my go to for casual wear. Its a learning curve!

beatrixpotterspencil · 09/12/2021 14:37
Yes yes these certainly will add an edge to MC mum look! I kinda love clompy boots. This is an interesting combination tbh. Mixed styles do appeal to me.
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Riverlee · 09/12/2021 14:38

A few years ago, I had my body shape and colours done, and it’s revolutionised my wardrobe. I’m much better and at finding g clothes that fit me and suit me. Twice in the last few weeks, people thought I had lost weight (I haven’t - the opposite!), but it’s because that days outfit particularly suited me. I don’t get it right all the time, but have more hits now (autumn pear).

Debenhams used to stick clothes ranges called Butterfly and Maine. That’s how I would describe my style. Sometimes veering towards the boho, and other times towards Breton/yacht/prep look.

MyComputerGetsSadWithoutMe · 09/12/2021 14:39

My style is a mix between goth, hippie and 50's I think. I wear doc martens, I wear quite a lot of black, red and greens but some floral too.
I don't ever really wear jeans, some people look great in them but I don't. I'm not keen on skirts because I'm fat and they tend to hit at an awkward bit and make me look fatter than I am. I like long sleeves and three quarter sleeves and big oversized cardigans because I'm always cold.

beatrixpotterspencil · 09/12/2021 14:42

[quote Prickolas]@ShineySparkleyChrissmassy thank you, I fear I will be left with very little. To be honest, alot of my clothing is ill fitting and I'm squeezing myself into pre pandemic clothing which is one or two sizes too small.

I need to start investing in myself and I return to work soon so its a good time to do it. I started with bras and bought 6 last week which fit fabulously. I tried about 8 different pairs of jeans on recently but I don't feel any style suits me which is tricky because jeans were always my go to for casual wear. Its a learning curve![/quote]
I've been lucky in the bra dept.
I found my 'signature' bra in primark of all places last year. Comfy, good fit, and a fiver. Last week I went in and bought 6 more in case they disappear so i wont have to worry about bras for a long time to come Blush

I agree that jeans are difficult to get right and the agony of finding new ones i do not miss! Maybe time to try out something different? What other things might you like? Are you a trouser or skirt person deep down? Most things are available now which is great for variation and experimenting. I remember a time, for like 15 years or so, the only skirts on the market were for office or party wear. It was awful for those of us who like them as casual daily wear.

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Inquisitivearchitect · 09/12/2021 14:55

I absolutely love this thread! I was talking to my friends and DH last night about how my usual style / uniform isn’t looking “right” on me anymore.

I used to wear mini dresses, pinafores and shorter skirts and always always black tights (even in Summer Blush). I usually team those up with a striped Breton top. Converse or ankle boots…Im a size 8 and have long legs but im only 5ft 2ish. BUT I am finding that I no longer enjoy looking like this. I don’t feel “me” anymore.

I don’t find skinny jeans comfortable. And anything knee length looks really strange on me. Dungarees are my signature “trouser” style…

I’ve just bought some girlfriend jeans so we’ll see how that goes but I have just downloaded Pinterest in a bid to help me find myself.

I have some unworn Oxford brogues in tan that I adore and I’m determined to wear those more often. Converse are now too narrow for my feet!

I would describe myself as an outdoorsy woman who does lots of walking, running and hiking but I also love being comfortable. I struggle with knitwear as I have Aspergers and it gives me weird sensory vibes! Grin

And I cannot find a pair of glasses to suit my little Lego head at all.

I naturally have light brown hair but I look better as a blonde so I know that much.

Anyway, @beatrixpotterspencil start a Pinterest board!! And I’m keeping an eye on this thread as it’s so bloody useful!

Inquisitivearchitect · 09/12/2021 14:58

I would actually go so far in saying that I was a Breton top addict. And wore stripes every single day Blush

And perhaps that’s why I’ve gone off the look Grin

A lot of mums on the school run look the same clothes wise (including me) and I would love to be a little more “me” and less “generic” Blush

Pixilicious · 09/12/2021 15:02

@whatamilookingfor - this sounds like I would like your style. Where do you shop for dresses?

whatamilookingfor · 09/12/2021 15:06

[quote Pixilicious]@whatamilookingfor - this sounds like I would like your style. Where do you shop for dresses?[/quote]
I have bought from: pink city prints, toast, cabbages and roses and pioneers o. Not cheap but they last and I don't need to buy tons - I usually buy 1-2 dresses twice a year.

I don't need to keep buying accessories and shoes either as it all works together.

Much easier than skirts and tops coordination for me.

5128gap · 09/12/2021 15:06

I have more of a uniform than a style I think. Its comprised of the colours and shapes that I feel make my physical characteristics (hair and eye colour and body shape) look their best. So, almost like clothes as a frame for me, rather than a statement in themselves. (Which sounds like I really love myself a lot. I don't, its just that I want to look good in clothes, rather than have the clothes look good on me.)

Purplecatshopaholic · 09/12/2021 15:07

Probably a bit rock chick vibe here. All Saints lover and Anglomania (when flush, lol). Boots with mini skirts, biker style leather jackets, that type of thing. Happy with that

Inquisitivearchitect · 09/12/2021 15:08

I have just bought my first denim skirt for about 16 years. It’s above the knee (but not too short!) and an A Line shape with buttons all down the front. Which I know will suit my body and my brogues. Smile

beatrixpotterspencil · 09/12/2021 15:10

Am always intrigued by the 'school run'.
I'm not a mum so it always sounds like a fascinating secret society that I could never penetrate! I imagine it would be great for people watching.

Many years ago I used to work in Windermere and used to sit sipping tea in Booths cafe watching all of the tourists and locals go by. This is probably how I ended up permanently in jeans and leggings, as you never, ever saw a skirt in winter.
I wonder how much we absorb from our immediate environment. Like a pp, i prefer to not stand out but not feel like a clone either. My current town is not a fab place and we are moving soon. The majority here wear stuff I can't relate to at all so def not good for people watching.

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beatrixpotterspencil · 09/12/2021 15:16

@Inquisitivearchitect

I have just bought my first denim skirt for about 16 years. It’s above the knee (but not too short!) and an A Line shape with buttons all down the front. Which I know will suit my body and my brogues. Smile
Me too! I found two mini wool skirts on ebay, nice dark check with pleats. Was worried about them being a bit 'schoolgirl' but they really suit me. It depends how you style things, i think. I wear mine with thick tights, docs and cashmere jumper. Good for tossing a coat over too, if it rains.

It's funny how many of us perceive a shirt skirt to be revealing but not leggings and short tops! They are revealing of the entire figure, bum cheeks and other ...bits. With short skirts I feel less exposed but do clamp my thighs together if stuck on an escalator if my jacket is short Grin

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GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 09/12/2021 15:16

I don't have just one...it honestly depends which bit of my personality is in charge that day!

Today I'm in dungarees, a big cardie, a woolly beanie and biker boots, so overgrown student. Yesterday day time I was in a navy velvet mini skirt, a boat neck sweater and Chelsea boots, so a bit preppy - but when I went out in the evening I wore leather leggings and a black, lose knit asymmetric cropped jumper, so a bit rock chick.

I'm not actually a schizophrenic, but I do seem to dress as if I am! Smile

EssexLioness · 09/12/2021 15:22

Great thread. I don’t really know how to describe my style and after a big weight loss I’m still trying to figure it out. I do love 40s shapes and look great in tea dresses. However I prefer bright colours and love a print. I have a capsule wardrobe of a few of my best colours which work all year round. I wear a lot of burgundy. I have quite delicate features and often described as ‘cute’ even in my mid 40s. I’m not a fan of that word to describe adults but I guess I am often drawn to cute details on my clothing eg a print, or delicate bow, or lace detail. All my clothes are classic shapes that suit my pear shape and I go for fitted waists etc whilst avoiding anything tight. Comfort is a top priority to me though so I always wear flat shoes and only wear soft, cosy materials. When choosing clothes, my first response on seeing a colour/ print I like is to touch it. If it doesn’t pass the soft test then I move on. If it does then I look at shape and fit to see if it is the sort of thing that compliments my figure. I hate the cold but I do like autumn/ winter dressing as it looks great on me and feels very ‘me’: trenchcoats, boots, big fluffy scarfs, bobble hats etc all look adorable on me and make me really happy. I do not follow trends. I just buy what I love, or suits me. I guess I have a relaxed but feminine style. I have long wavy hair which also feels perfect for me.
Things I avoid are very fitted eg bodycon dresses, or super floaty, unstructured clothes as they do nothing for my figure. I used to wear high heels sometimes when younger but never got the knack of them so would totter around like a drunken gazelle which just looked awful. I don’t really do sexy, never have, but I can do pretty really well. Sort of girl next door (though I work from home and can easily descend into scruffy mess without effort)! I like to think I dress nicely as I often have compliments on my outfits.

EssexLioness · 09/12/2021 15:25

@5128gap

I have more of a uniform than a style I think. Its comprised of the colours and shapes that I feel make my physical characteristics (hair and eye colour and body shape) look their best. So, almost like clothes as a frame for me, rather than a statement in themselves. (Which sounds like I really love myself a lot. I don't, its just that I want to look good in clothes, rather than have the clothes look good on me.)
Interesting, I think this is what I do too now you mention it. I have colours and shapes that suit me and I like so veer towards them
beatrixpotterspencil · 09/12/2021 15:40

@EssexLioness

Great thread. I don’t really know how to describe my style and after a big weight loss I’m still trying to figure it out. I do love 40s shapes and look great in tea dresses. However I prefer bright colours and love a print. I have a capsule wardrobe of a few of my best colours which work all year round. I wear a lot of burgundy. I have quite delicate features and often described as ‘cute’ even in my mid 40s. I’m not a fan of that word to describe adults but I guess I am often drawn to cute details on my clothing eg a print, or delicate bow, or lace detail. All my clothes are classic shapes that suit my pear shape and I go for fitted waists etc whilst avoiding anything tight. Comfort is a top priority to me though so I always wear flat shoes and only wear soft, cosy materials. When choosing clothes, my first response on seeing a colour/ print I like is to touch it. If it doesn’t pass the soft test then I move on. If it does then I look at shape and fit to see if it is the sort of thing that compliments my figure. I hate the cold but I do like autumn/ winter dressing as it looks great on me and feels very ‘me’: trenchcoats, boots, big fluffy scarfs, bobble hats etc all look adorable on me and make me really happy. I do not follow trends. I just buy what I love, or suits me. I guess I have a relaxed but feminine style. I have long wavy hair which also feels perfect for me. Things I avoid are very fitted eg bodycon dresses, or super floaty, unstructured clothes as they do nothing for my figure. I used to wear high heels sometimes when younger but never got the knack of them so would totter around like a drunken gazelle which just looked awful. I don’t really do sexy, never have, but I can do pretty really well. Sort of girl next door (though I work from home and can easily descend into scruffy mess without effort)! I like to think I dress nicely as I often have compliments on my outfits.
This is a good point, because we often talk about whether things flatter or not, about age, weight, etc. But we rarely describe our 'features'

These are just as important as shape, to me. I have very delicate features, small bones, blue eyes, pale blond hair and rosy cheeks. I really suit a sort of off duty ballerina or fairly type style which I'm not really keen on.
I meet it half way instead and enjoy tea dresses in summer.

So we have to consider the entire package, and this includes our hairstyle, face, and over all vibe, i think. I could never do masculine cuts justice, nor sporty stuff. I am not strident or athletic enough for some things and do suit dainty, sleek shapes (how daft that sounds!).

I too prefer winter clothes, much more than summer. They are more complex than summer clothes so I do think summer dressing is 'easier' but less interesting to me. I jsut circulate 2 dresses and some linen stuf and that's me done. Winter is very different - i overthink it and it is deeply important to me! Winter is where i put my money.

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Youcunnyfunt · 09/12/2021 15:55

beatrixpotterspencil I don't think you have to do a girlish style with your features.

I'm very short, and very curvy, with very feminine features - small nose, huge eyes, long dark hair, soft cheeks.

Sometimes I glam it up and totally rock either girlish, romantic, or vampy styles.

Other times I totally contrast that with athletic and androgynous styles. I have clompy boots, leather jackets, purple lipstick, crop tops, jeans, etc.

I just have to get the proportions right so they don't drown me, being so short, and also the problem of bust and hips being larger than waist (which means if fabric isn't cinched in somehow it can make me look much bigger than I am).

I don't personally subscribe to just one style - fashion is too much fun to have effectively a uniform. I just make sure what I add into my wardrobe can be mixed and matched to get good wear.

Youcunnyfunt · 09/12/2021 15:57

I thin the element of "surprise" and contrast can be overlooked in style, to be honest.

Something that contrasts or clashes slightly can still look put together if there is a general theme (whether it 's the cuts, colours, or fabric).