Help please! Turned into a frump!

[cheeseisthebest]

Hi. I'm 43, bit overweight and short and I hate my clothes!
Never know what looks nice on me? Please help! I wear a lot of black, navy, grey or I have very patterned dresses from White Stuff.
I just don't know where to look or what would flatter me?

I like that dress Meryl.
I've just ordered some chelsea boots.

That's nice, @MerylSqueak

The problem with M&S blouses is that lots of them are that awful scratchy viscose. Nice enough until you touch them. I do have a denim shirt from M&S which I like a lot. I wear it with black Levis, rolled up, or with a black faux leather mini and black tights.

The t-shirt, I mean.

I was pleasantly surprised by the material of the dress @RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie. It's a quite heavy viscose. I don't know if that's the sort you hate.

Hard to tell! I'll go and have a feel, not that I need another black dress! 😁

The M&S mom jeans you linked to, I would go for the blue denim colour.

Please do not listen to posters telling you things won’t suit you. You won’t know until you try them on and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Not keen on M&S blouses, they look lumpy, frumpy and no good for anyone with big boobs.

I'm surprised at some of the recommendations here, jersey jackets, star trainers and scarves are all what I was wearing 5 years ago and I've move on now. Also bretton tees although bretton jumpers, particularly with a half zip are popular this year.

OP the shops you are linking to like M&S and Next will occasionally have a useful piece but generally are quite polite and bland and I find quite pricey for the quality. Ditto white stuff, fat face etc. Try looking elsewhere, I buy loads from H&M. They do great slim mom jeans, buy ankle length which will be full length on you. Don't buy high waisted as at your height they will come up to your boobs, most mid rise jeans will look high waisted on you. If you choose loose jeans wear a tighter or shorter top or you will be swamped though.

I've looked on h and m but I can't find anything! Please help me!!

@CeeceeBloomingdale

Not keen on M&S blouses, they look lumpy, frumpy and no good for anyone with big boobs.

I'm surprised at some of the recommendations here, jersey jackets, star trainers and scarves are all what I was wearing 5 years ago and I've move on now. Also bretton tees although bretton jumpers, particularly with a half zip are popular this year.

OP the shops you are linking to like M&S and Next will occasionally have a useful piece but generally are quite polite and bland and I find quite pricey for the quality. Ditto white stuff, fat face etc. Try looking elsewhere, I buy loads from H&M. They do great slim mom jeans, buy ankle length which will be full length on you. Don't buy high waisted as at your height they will come up to your boobs, most mid rise jeans will look high waisted on you. If you choose loose jeans wear a tighter or shorter top or you will be swamped though.

The thing is the poster is wanting to look smart and casual for the life that SHE leads . I think that several posters have guided her to a simple but smart look that she can start with . Everyone thinks differently about these things but I don't think she is looking at this stage for the H and M look . You really have to search in there - it looks like a sea of beige currently and imo masses of it is cheap fashion stuff that does not fit the OP's requirements as stated .

@cheeseisthebest

I've looked on h and m but I can't find anything! Please help me!!

You have had some great recommendations so just get ordering and try some stuff on . I would say stay away from cardigans at your height - they just mess with the clean lines of an outfit for you .

Thank you Maureen. People have been lovely and helpful on this thread but I am getting slightly scared of suggesting anything!
I've definitely had some good input though!

H&M sizing is so inconsistent and quality largely poor. Personally, I'd rather have fewer things but have them last. For that reason, I'd avoid obvious detailing like stars, for example. But a simple striped top or plain jumper comes back season after season.

I am now extremely confused about jeans.

I am v short and the M&S Mom jeans in the short length are perfect and I find them v flattering (size 12)

Those are all lovely thank you but I too self conscious to wear leopard print or a blouse much as I like them. That's daft isn't it!

This makes me a bit sad OP! Wear exactly what catches your eye and enjoy wearing it! Dressing up should be fun! I used to wear boring clothes all the time because I was super self conscious, but one day, I bit the bullet and bought a really long, bold, bright dress for work. I got so many compliments that now my wardrobe is full of clothes that I feel fancy in.

Even when I buy something that could be really boring like a waterproof jacket, I look for something that is well fitted and a bit fabulous.

Don’t be confused. Like I said in an earlier post, problem with these boards is everyone has a different idea of style. There will be people offering you advice who, if you saw in the street, you would think they look great, and some you would think look terrible.

Current jean styles are straight leg or slightly baggier, like mom jeans, and generally shorter - so either ankle grazer, or personally I prefer turned up. M&S jeans are generally good. Come in lots of lengths and colours. Order some in different styles, try them on and decide for yourself.

And again, ignore the posters ruling out entire items of clothing. Nothing wrong with a cardigan. I’m short and I love them. Nothing wrong with a maxi dress either.

And don’t rule out shops either. I have some really lovely bits from H&M. Every high street shop has some stuff in that looks cheap, as well as stuff that is great.

A previous poster linked to some jeans. If you scroll through the pics, they have them styled in different ways. Although they are the same jeans, the outfits look completely different. The outfit with the polo neck, I think, looks terrible. Jeans looks frumpy, too much material across the stomach area. Length looks frumpy. Second picture, with a jacket to create a different line, and the jeans turned up make them look so much better.

@DFOD which M&S jeans do you have please?

I lead a similar lifestyle to OP and H&M does meet my needs. It's well priced, fashionable and often in natural fibres, most pieces last years. OP originally stated she hates her clothes, presumably showing her more of the same would not be helpful, I'm assuming she is looking to update to more modern shapes.

Here are some H&M jeans which work well on me (5'2", size 12-14)

This thread is exactly why I like Mumsnet. Someone posts being really honest about how they are feeling and immediately lots of other women offer really kind and helpful advice. Occasionally someone isn't as helpful but that's quickly discarded.

For what it's worth @cheeseisthebest I think your clothes are fine, you just maybe aren't feeling so great about yourself so don't stand with confidence. An earlier poster gave you great advice about how to stand and that would make the world of difference to how you feel.

Personally I don't really bother with fashion - I'm short so maxi dresses drown me etc. I usually wear a dress with boots (plain knee high ones look classic). Apparently mini skirts are back in fashion which is good as I've never stopped wearing them In lockdown I gained weight so I now only wear stretchy trousers as I'm too old to be uncomfortable. I think I look good because I know what my best bits are and I highlight those.

I feel exactly the same as you Op so totally understand where you are coming from. Something popped up on my FB a couple of months ago for a company called Goose Island. They do two live styling videos each week where they showcase a selection of their new styles. You can also see the videos on catch-up. I've really loved watching them and I'm toying with ordering a few bits from them. They are reasonably priced. I have no clue about styling clothes so I'm picking up a few ideas. The clothes also look really easy and comfortable to wear (I promise I have no connection to the company!)
May be watch a couple of their videos.

www.goose-island.co.uk/collections/facebook-live-styles

Really interesting thread thank you @cheeseisthebest.
I’m also in a bit of a rut. Like many people I snacked my way through lockdown and I’m finding it so hard to shift the extra weight!
I just live in hush harems. That’s it.

I’ve ordered the h and m top, thank you @CeeceeBloomingdale.
I think the thing to do op is pick a couple of shops, and just order a few bits from each. Have you got a mate who could give you some feedback?

Hi op! I would try a capsule wardrobe website there are loads out there and just find that is the way you want to dress then go through your wardrobe and tick off the items you already have (they are generic items black blazer midi skirt etc) I bet you'll be surprised with what you already have! Then buy the items you don't have and the website shows you the combinations to use. It might be that you are missing a key items for me it was a white t shirt and lace up doc Martin type boots totally opened up my wardrobe! Good luck and be confident in yourself xxx

[quote Littlemiss74]@DFOD which M&S jeans do you have please?[/quote]
Started with the M&S Sienna straight cut that the PP posted and these were recommended on this board before.

I have since bought some other M&S “magic something” - hold your belly in jeans (in the wash at the moment - will look at the label later)

They have so many variations and cuts in the shop - just take a bundle and try them on.

OP i think you've had tons of amazing advice on here & now you nee to start visiting shops / ordering loads of shapes & styles to try on.

Also - it's worth taking a look through the What are you wearing today theads on here where posters put up a pic of what they're wearing each day. It's great for seeing hi ws real life people are putting outfits together & trying out new styles etc.