My grey hair just doesn't suit me!

[jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey]

Been growing out my grey for 20 months.
It game through white first , now it's more patchy steel grey and darker bits at the back.
I wanted to embrace it and love it but it just doesn't suit me!
Looking for light brown hair dye recommendations please.

@ElvisPresleyHadABaby I have dark brown eyes.
@Jerseygirl12 I wear a lot of jewel colour dresses. Especially greens

Rather than talk about prejudice based on female appearance I think we need to examine the reality in this country of being old. If you follow nature you get grey hair and it will become totally white at some point. It might look very impressive, especially if you have curls but it is an indicator of age. How do you get treated when you are old? not very well, you only have to look at the numerous threads on here where people of 60 + are viewed as past it, not up to caring for grandchildren etc. etc.
A really good example i came across this week concerned a white haired male friend of mine, aged 81 who went to his daughters graduation with his 50 year old wife. At the station someone commented to his wife that he was very handsome and well dressed in a patronising way - assuming it was her father!! It was a totally inappropriate comment but the sort of thing some find acceptable with older people.
Being old sucks, so we, on the whole don't want to embrace the comfy shoes, elasticated waists sensible jackets and grey hair. This has far less to do with attitudes to beauty than the slap-a-DNR-on the-lot-of-them view by society towards its older members.

I've gone grey(ish), it's about 40% grey I think and it suits me. However I must say that I see people with dyed hair which doesn't go with their face, if you know what I mean. If you can afford an expensive hairdresser and have lots of different colours, then great, but in my long experience of home dye I think they can look unnatural as we get older and greyer.

Agree, Sali Hughes isn't a great look at the moment.

I think one of the reasons guys get called Silver Foxes is because they keep it so short.

Grey hair tends to look great in a pixie cut, as it chops off all the stragglers and you don't notice if it's several different and rather dull shades of grey. It just looks sharp and sleek.

When men have longer shaggier grey hair it's not nearly so universally praised. It can look unkempt.

jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey I wear those colours too and also turquoise really suited me. I also wear a lot of gingery mustards.

‘Washed out’ ‘doesn’t suit me’ ‘ageing’ is often internalised sexism/ageism.

A really good example i came across this week concerned a white haired male friend of mine, aged 81 who went to his daughters graduation with his 50 year old wife. At the station someone commented to his wife that he was very handsome and well dressed in a patronising way - assuming it was her father!! It was a totally inappropriate comment but the sort of thing some find acceptable with older people.

Not saying it's acceptable to speak about him as if he isn't there, but he is an 81 year old man who presumably looks 81, and if you marry someone 30 years older than you, it's not really surprising people think he's your father.
I don't think any of the people saying grey hair ages you thinks it makes a 50 year old look 80+, and I don't think people dying their hair in their 40s do it because they think people will treat them like a 'little old lady' if they don't.

Having been through many similar stages of dyeing different colours, going grey, browner, blonder etc etc you have my sympathies! (My original colour is very dark brown.)

The best solution I've found so far is to use a mid-blonde home colour every 3 weeks - it covers the grey but only lightens the dark hair slightly, so you end up with a lighter shade of brown with 'highlights'

I use Josh Wood Dark Blonde - it looks very light on the box but the result on me is a lot darker because I have dark as well as grey hair, if that makes sense - a sort of bronde-ish effect. It still looks brown in most lights but as it's multi-tonal it has a bit of life to it colour-wise, and it's a lot cheaper than salon highlights and lowlights.

Brown dye, even light brown, is too dark and you'll never get rid of the roots problem.

Also 'blonde' isn't as light as you think it might be unless you go for a full on peroxide job (beware of the blonde box dyes though that really do lighten hair dramatically!).

@ElspethFlashman

Agree, Sali Hughes isn't a great look at the moment.

I think one of the reasons guys get called Silver Foxes is because they keep it so short.

Grey hair tends to look great in a pixie cut, as it chops off all the stragglers and you don't notice if it's several different and rather dull shades of grey. It just looks sharp and sleek.

When men have longer shaggier grey hair it's not nearly so universally praised. It can look unkempt.

I do understand what you’re saying but I still Think that this is internalised sexism And ageism. If people didn’t use hair dye then we wouldnt think that long grey hair looked unkempt. It would just be normal. And everyone would think it was normal.

Im several months into letting my grey come through .. my colouring is very dark.. dark eyes.. olive skin tone.. dark hair..

I'll be honest.. it was a relief to just stop worrying about my roots.. my hair is up when I am on Shift/Duty... its convenient

I love my colour.. its silver and glassy white streaks.. I think maybe another year and it'll be completely grey.. Im happy ..

I use a blue based purple shampoo and if it makes me look older.. fine ☺️

No amount of hair dye will stop me ageing 🌸

@QueenBee52 I loved mine when it first started. The colour was lovely.
It's just not the same colour now it's grown out. It's pure white to steel grey to dark patches.
I've never been bothered about it being ageing. It's just the patchy uneven colour.
It really doesn't suit me

If I were you I’d go to a good hairdressers and have a consultation and have an overall colour done. Then ask for the colour code and then you can do touch ups at home and go back every couple of months for your regrowth. Lots of my friends are late 40’s and early 50’s and have kept their brown hair colour but normally a bit lighter than their original colour used to be. They all look fab.
I use a root touch up colour that just takes 10 minutes and leaves my hair nice and shiny. I do it every 2 weeks but don’t mind as it’s so quick and gentle.

[quote jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey]@QueenBee52 I loved mine when it first started. The colour was lovely.
It's just not the same colour now it's grown out. It's pure white to steel grey to dark patches.
I've never been bothered about it being ageing. It's just the patchy uneven colour.
It really doesn't suit me [/quote]

if mines goes hideously wrong.. or I get invited someone smashing.. that l'oreal root spray will be OOT faster than Milk meets Cereal 🤣😂

Assuming that grey hair makes people look older and dyed hair makes people look younger is a massive assumption. Dyed hair doesn't effect the face, or hands, or neck or gait etc. In fact it can make the contrast really jarring and draw attention to age after a certain age.

I see people with grey hair and they look terrific. I do not. I also look terrible with dark or red hair, which I know as I have tried every colour. I was enthusiastic during lockdown as I have a pixie cut so I reckoned I'd grow out the colour to grey at a time when rubbish hair just wasn't a problem.

Went to my hairdresser in April, we were both excited about how it would look after the ends of colour went. Cut it, dried it, result:

(us in mirror)

The colour drained me completely. It wasn't that I looked old, it was that I looked like death with eyebrows.

I was booked in a week later for colour and was back to myself. I'll try again in 30 years.

My friend has been fabulously grey for years she looks great with it mine was horrible and patchy and urgh. I have had highlights to help it come through better I love it. I stopped going brown last year the colour just didn't stick long enough. If you can go to the hairdressers box dye is a pain in the arse .

@IDontThinkSoNo
I don't think that men do look better grey...they just look old.

[quote expatmigrant]@IDontThinkSoNo
I don't think that men do look better grey...they just look old.[/quote]

not all of them.. some guys look fantastic ☺️

I do wonder whether grey is easier to 'accept' if you just let your hair gradually grey at its own natural rate? I can imagine that suddenly seeing yourself with totally grey hair after a year(ish) of growing it out must be quite a shock and take some getting used to.

It was the patchiness I hated just looked scruffy even after a haircut.

[quote expatmigrant]@IDontThinkSoNo
I don't think that men do look better grey...they just look old.[/quote]
Seen Martin Kemp lately?

One of the mistakes people make is going grey but keeping the same hairstyle, makeup and clothing colours. Having a modern hairdo, along with vibrant make up and lipstick (I swear by a little self tanning moisturiser), and wearing colours like emerald or coral make a big difference.

The ‘patchiness’ applies to both hair naturally changing from the original colour to grey, and dyeing (eg visible roots, fading colour).

@SarahBellam

One of the mistakes people make is going grey but keeping the same hairstyle, makeup and clothing colours. Having a modern hairdo, along with vibrant make up and lipstick (I swear by a little self tanning moisturiser), and wearing colours like emerald or coral make a big difference.

Search for winter season colours

@Blossomtoes

Martin has aged very well 💕🤣