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My grey hair just doesn't suit me!

115 replies

jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 01/08/2021 21:45

Been growing out my grey for 20 months.
It game through white first , now it's more patchy steel grey and darker bits at the back.
I wanted to embrace it and love it but it just doesn't suit me!
Looking for light brown hair dye recommendations please.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Branleuse · 05/08/2021 15:12

I plan to never go grey. I am all for people that want to embrace it if thats what they want to do, but id no sooner let myself go grey than I would decide to start wearing a cleaning tabard every day and polyester slacks.

Yes you see pics on pinterest with immaculately groomed grey haired women that look great, but theyre a minority. For the most part it just is a boring dull colour and makes people look washed out and elderly before their time.

Ive been getting grey hairs since I was 19. Im now in my 40s and am definitely not done with messing around with hair colours and styles yet.

grey12 · 05/08/2021 15:12

@jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey

Thanks for the recommendations everyone. I'm just so disappointed that it doesn't suit me and look fabulous 😩 Feel I wasted my time growing it out. I had very dark hair almost black. So I think I will go for a light brown and see if that looks ok
Could it maybe be your clothes instead?

(I sound like those weird preachers....) have you heard about colour theory? The seasons? Grey hair is automatically a winter so maybe the colours that suited you before no longer look good with the new hair colour. In a very very short summary: beiges colours are out and jewel colours are in

Branleuse · 05/08/2021 15:14

I dont think most men look like silver foxes with grey hair either. They just look like older men.

Nobloat21 · 05/08/2021 15:22

I did this and it really aged me. The colour was too steel grey, rather than silver.

I would advise going to a salon, even if it's just this once. I'm a blonde now and the regrowth takes months before it looks bad, before it was bad after a week. See if you can have some foils put in and have it highlighted.

TheHoundsofLove · 05/08/2021 16:58

@ExConstance

I think that for many people having grey hair is a bit like having very short hair. For it to look good you need to make a real effort with makeup, get a great cut and dress well. The combined signals of messy hair, no make up and a dog walking fleece don't look good. When I have had my hair very short i need to get it cut a lot more often - 4 weekly - and always wear some makeup and jewellery just to avoid looking as if I don't care. With my present longish blondish hair i still make an effort but it certainly looks better on the days I don't want to.
I think this is absolutely it. I also agree that not all greying hair is equal. I am letting my hair naturally grey (i would guess it’s about 30% white) and genuinely really love it. But, I’m quite a light ashy blonde anyway so it tones in perfectly and has just sort of lightened my whole hair color. I am aware that I very possibly wouldn’t feel the same if I were a brunette or my grey was very patchy. OP I don’t think you’ve wasted your time as at least you know what it looks like without dye now. And I bet giving it a break from dye has boosted the condition. I know a couple of people who grew out their grey and then decided to start dyeing again - it’s such a personal thing.
ChaToilLeam · 05/08/2021 17:33

I have let mine go grey at the age of 50. First grey hairs came in at 17, so as you can imagine the greying process is pretty advanced - at the front it is pretty much silvery white now. And it looks good - I have had lots of compliments on it. Doesn’t make me look any younger I am sure, but I’m so bloody glad to be rid of the whole regrowth thing. I don’t see why grey hair needs to be equated with polyester slacks and tabards Hmm - you might as well equate blonde hair with mini skirts or long black hair with witches’ hats. It’s a lazy stereotype that doesn’t reflect the reality of the many women who are now choosing to have their natural colour. Time there stopped being pressure either way.

StormyTeacups · 05/08/2021 17:52

Some grey hair has a wirier texture, which can contribute to the overall look.

My mum has gone totally silver now, and it looks amazing. A proper cold silver white with shine.

Branleuse · 05/08/2021 18:05

@ChaToilLeam

I have let mine go grey at the age of 50. First grey hairs came in at 17, so as you can imagine the greying process is pretty advanced - at the front it is pretty much silvery white now. And it looks good - I have had lots of compliments on it. Doesn’t make me look any younger I am sure, but I’m so bloody glad to be rid of the whole regrowth thing. I don’t see why grey hair needs to be equated with polyester slacks and tabards Hmm - you might as well equate blonde hair with mini skirts or long black hair with witches’ hats. It’s a lazy stereotype that doesn’t reflect the reality of the many women who are now choosing to have their natural colour. Time there stopped being pressure either way.
Well yes its a stereotype, but i like nice clothes and i like my hair coloured. Theres no virtue to going grey, and if it means you have to spend more time grooming, wearing more makeup etc to look halfway decent then whats the point.
ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 05/08/2021 18:16

Quite agree that eye colour and complexion are important. Hair texture too, straight fine hair looks less good grey to my disappointment whereas hair with a bit of bounce or curl seems to carry it better.

Second a salon, or use salon dyes.

ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 05/08/2021 18:16

Also just to add, I didn't regret doing it, once I finally did it I so regretted not doing it sooner!

Dozer · 05/08/2021 18:19

A lot of us have internalised sexist and ageist ideas about grey hair.

If you don’t want to spend the time and money for regular salon visits, grey (or mix of grey and your natural colour) could well look better than home dye.

grey12 · 05/08/2021 18:38

@StormyTeacups

Some grey hair has a wirier texture, which can contribute to the overall look.

My mum has gone totally silver now, and it looks amazing. A proper cold silver white with shine.

I disagree with that. I think that maybe you can see the texture of the hair better with the white against the other colour.

My mum said the same thing and went all the way to sending me a picture of a lady (famous brazilian singer) who went gray. She has and always had a super curly volumous mane! As if my almost dead straight hair would ended up anything like hers Hmm

WellTidy · 05/08/2021 19:38

I just wish mine was the same colour all over. As it is, I’ve got white at the front and temples, salt and pepper on top, white patches at the back and in some areas at the back, my natural dark brown is what is growing through. It’s a complete mix in patches all over and that is what I don’t like about it. If it was the same all over, whatever that was, I would mind less.

I started growing mine out in December and I think I am going to have lots of different shades of brown highlights all over in a lighter shade than my natural colour, so that it is softer.

KidneyBeans · 05/08/2021 19:47

@FortunesFave

Not everyone can afford a salon visit ShrikeAttack. I certainly can't so thanks for the assertion that my hair looks flat. Hmm
Literally no one said your hair looked flat - how could they? No one has seen it Confused why would you interpret a general remark about some box dyes as a personal attack? Weird
DietrichandDiMaggio · 05/08/2021 20:13

I don’t see why grey hair needs to be equated with polyester slacks and tabards hmm - you might as well equate blonde hair with mini skirts or long black hair with witches’ hats. It’s a lazy stereotype that doesn’t reflect the reality of the many women who are now choosing to have their natural colour. Time there stopped being pressure either way.

I could understand saying I'd no sooner let myself go grey, than I would let myself get fat, if you are equating going grey with 'letting yourself go'. For some reason lots of people are happy to declare that women don't look as good with grey hair, which is natural, but wouldn't dream of saying the same of women not working to keep their body slim.

Branleuse · 05/08/2021 21:15

@DietrichandDiMaggio

I don’t see why grey hair needs to be equated with polyester slacks and tabards hmm - you might as well equate blonde hair with mini skirts or long black hair with witches’ hats. It’s a lazy stereotype that doesn’t reflect the reality of the many women who are now choosing to have their natural colour. Time there stopped being pressure either way.

I could understand saying I'd no sooner let myself go grey, than I would let myself get fat, if you are equating going grey with 'letting yourself go'. For some reason lots of people are happy to declare that women don't look as good with grey hair, which is natural, but wouldn't dream of saying the same of women not working to keep their body slim.

Ok, but i dont see it necessarily as letting yourself go, and i equate it more to looking elderly and like a nana. If you want to have grey hair then go for it. Its just a thread about someone saying that grey hair doesnt suit them and me saying its the same for me and thr connotations it gives off to me.
DecentPleasant · 05/08/2021 21:44

Sali Hughes on Instagram had hers kind of dyed grey. I’m not too sure but it’s a blonde grey rather than brown grey which I think will be the answer for me. Could you suit dark blonde highlights - ash rather than warm.

jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 05/08/2021 21:52

I'm 48 and always consider myself well groomed. So it's not that, it's just that I really don't suit it.
It's like it's jarring with my complexion.
I had bonde hair once 15 years ago. That never suited either.
I really don't know what the solution is ?!

OP posts:
birkenstuck · 05/08/2021 22:11

Oh I hear you. I've been growing out for about a year. I really couldn't be bothered with keeping up with grey roots anymore in my super curly, thick and coarse mop.

I've just had an amazing curly cut and had an undercut put it (not for the first time, but the first time owning the grey). The cut is amazing but now the very short bits (side and back), combined with white/grey is unbearable.

I agree with a previous poster. Short needs me to "spangle" myself a bit to look good, and the same with grey. The two combined has been rather a shock. On me at least. Yes, if I styled it more, put on red lippy, sharp clothes every day, and stood in a great light... I think it could look edgy and cool. But, on waking up in the morning, sans slap, with super cropped white hair in places, it's actually made me feel rubbish at 51. I'm surprised at myself.

Anyway, upshot is - and as I am really determined to stop putting either awful box dyes or having to go to the salon every few weeks - I've used some wash in shampoo and feel great. The grey has gone. Remember the wella shaders and toners. I bought something similar to that this week. Washed it in, last a few washes. Has blended the grey out completely. Now I admit the "dark blonde" does look rather, erm, orange on the white bits at the moment, but it's a work in progress. I'll use darker ones in future. But even despite it looking pretty crap, I already feel loads better. Not for me. Thought it would be. Was determined to own it proudly.

Bugger that lark for another decade.Smile

birkenstuck · 05/08/2021 22:15

I will attest though to my grey hair (80% on the sides, 50% back and front) isn't more wiry than my usual hair. It's really very curly and coarse to start with. I'd say the grey parts are actually softer! Hmm

DonLewis · 05/08/2021 22:17

Have you tried toners, silver shampoos and conditioners? They can really change the look of the hair, without being permanent.

goose1964 · 05/08/2021 22:24

I'm also in the ,it's what nature intended camp. I'm 57 and still mainly my natural colour spar from a grey streak at the front and the odd grey elsewhere. Unfortunately I'm not going to my gran's dark, almost navy , grey.
I agree it's not having grey hair that ages you but the way you dress and style. My friend and my dad's friend different people) have both died their hair black. It's so aging

JaneJeffer · 05/08/2021 22:27

@DecentPleasant

Sali Hughes on Instagram had hers kind of dyed grey. I’m not too sure but it’s a blonde grey rather than brown grey which I think will be the answer for me. Could you suit dark blonde highlights - ash rather than warm.
I really don't like hers at all and surely it's just as much faff to dye it grey.
ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 06/08/2021 08:17

Do you have light eyes? That can contribute to looking overall a bit faded with grey hair, washed out.

Jerseygirl12 · 06/08/2021 08:36

I think of it as do you grey clothes suit me? Dark Charcoal grey looks good but I never buy anything mid or light grey it just doesn’t look nice with my skin tone and hazel eyes. Some people really suit greys and pale blue etc but I suit darker or brighter colours.