Converse with cocktail dress at black tie dinner?

[BabCNesbitt]

I expect to get flamed for this, but I’ve got a work black-ish tie event coming up (for staff only) and I I’m going to wear a royal blue knee-length 60s cocktail dress. Can I get away with wearing a pair of gold Converse hi-tops with this? I do think it’d look good, but perhaps not appropriate. What other alternatives are there to heels with a dress like this?

Given your latest post OP - go for the converse. Nothing to lose and the only thing to gain is an ugly pair of shoes judging by half the suggestions posted here.
(although the gold asos block heels are fine IF you would ordinarily chose them, not because you think you should!)

The polite solution ffs!

My 'polite solution' comment was slightly tongue in cheek - the heat seems to be making people a bit cranky ....

Try Beyond Skin, lots of lovely vegan flats

Do you genuinely think that the head statistician walking around barefoot at a black tie event with a fairy light tiara, like a pound shop manic pixie dreamgirl, will be taken more seriously as a consequence?

She's neither taken more seriously or less seriously, it's an event we don't have clients at and everyone lets their hair down. The behaviour that does damage peoples reputations is aggressive drunkeness or sexual shenanigans between people who are in relationships with other people not wearing kooky party clothes.

Ok, keep telling yourself that!

Just wear ballet pumps

In the 90's people under 25 ish were wearing DM's to balls with ball gowns but it's not something that would look cool now with trainers or anything unconventional. It'll look daft

Ok, keep telling yourself that!

Ooooh-kayyyyy. Steps away slowly from the person who judges someone more harshly for their fashion choices than for morally reprehensible behaviour. Glad I don't live in your world.

In the 90's people under 25 ish were wearing DM's to balls with ball gowns

I did that as a student. I had green DMs with tartan laces that I wore with a green tartan ballgown to our college ball. Loved that outfit. Now I wear expensive and appropriate pointy flats.

Ooooh-kayyyyy. Steps away slowly from the person who judges someone more harshly for their fashion choices than for morally reprehensible behaviour. Glad I don't live in your world.

Oh dear. That wasn’t what I said at all. You said that dressing kookily does not affect your colleagues’ perception of you. I think it does. I said nothing about “morally reprehensible behaviour”, as you put it. I didn’t need to, because clearly ‘aggressive drunkenness and sexual shenanigans’ aren’t going to build your credibility or make your colleagues take you seriously! When did I compare dress with aggressive drunkenness and decide that the latter was better?

Keep on dramatising though, if it keeps you happy and validates both your clothing choices and your support for barefoot fairly light wearing at wrk events.

Meanwhile, in the real world, the sooner the OP realises that looking wacky or kooky, or attempting to stick it to the man by making a style statement, is not going to help her career, the better. Because like it or not, people judge you on your appearance and clothing choices.

I know that this is anathema to anybody who has proudly nailed their colours to the mast of HMS Kooky, and who tells themselves regularly that clothes don’t matter and that it’s best to express your unique personality through your clothes and that we should all be more modern at work, but it doesn’t make it any less true. Sorry.

I vote converse! Or if you want a low heel that’s fun what about Irregular Choice? I wore Irregular Choice shoes on my wedding day (and changed into converse after the first dance)

Some people here are far too over invested in what their colleagues wear. I can honestly say I cannot remember a single outfit, let alone shoe, that someone has worn at a work event.

Come off it! Anyone who says that they don’t judge colleagues, or potential colleagues, or anybody else they meet, on the basis of their appearance is not telling the truth.

You don’t have to remember the exact shoes someone wore. It’s the visual impression they create.

If you don’t agree, go to your next job interview dressed as a dominatrix. Or a harajuku girl. Or a clown. Or barefoot wearing fairy lights on your head. See what happens. After all, it’s what’s inside that counts, right?

No, I just think it Lily Allen or Avril Lavigne

I can honestly say I cannot remember a single outfit, let alone shoe, that someone has worn at a work event.

That’s because they were unremarkable. However, my aunt will always remember my wedding because “poor Bike couldn’t find shoes to match her dress”. (Pony skin block heels, then Converse under a long dress).

iamthewombat I second this. Human beings are visual creatures and we send messages via the way we dress ourselves. Which is why things like uniforms exist. It’s why dress codes exist. Of course we don’t have to adhere to them but that in itself is making a statement and sending a message.

And unfortunately society judges women more harshly than men and expects impractical footwear

Sling backs, strappy sandels, what looked like ballet pumps, pointy shoes , none of the recommendations on here are easy to wear without practise , none give support to feet and ankles and all would make my physio cringe

And each time we accept this, we perpetuate it

Yes there are always rules about showing how we fit in, showing we are a good member of our society, but we need to be careful that we don't take them too far , so that they start excluding people for irrational reasons

Judge less, accept more

Completely flat shoes, and high heels are bad for your feet. Why should men wear comfortable shoes while women wear things which will set then up for a lifetime of problem feet as they get older? Wear what's comfortable, and tell the men that you'll wear high heels when they do!!! I'm fed up is the sort of example being set for our girls, to be sexy all the time. The high street flogs rubbishy uncomfortable shoes to women at stupid prices. Stop buying uncomfortable designer shoes, it's time the designers changed to respect the health of women It's time women stopped buying these We should be able to find small heeled comfortable shoes. I've bought Karrimor walking sandals last year and wore them everywhere. The beige were sold out very quickly. www.sportsdirect.com/karrimor-salina-leather-ladies-walking-sandals-188015
It's great they got some more. Buy them whenever you like, I found this on Google, but I'm sure I other stores sell them too.

That’s because they were unremarkable.

I agree. I only remember what someone is wearing if it is a particularly lovely outfit or if it is inappropriate for the occasion.

I’d say if you’re into expression through clothes and a really individual approach the Converse although unconventional for black tie are not that much of a statement - they’re ubiquitous. Every other person wears them. I recall a wedding where the bride hitched up her dress to dance and display the ‘I’m mad me’ Converse trainers she wore. It’s not individual.

So OP go with whatever you find comfortable and expresses what you want, but for advice on non conventional alternatives I’d suggest somewhere other that Mumsnet.

maybe this is too late but

“ there is some middle ground between heels and converse.” Yep. What does it look like"

how about french ballerinas (silver or sparkly maybe?) or fancy low heel sandals (gold, silver or sparkly)?

def no broques or trainers :)

I know people are trying to help but only on Mumsnet on a thread about black tie footwear would you get a serious(?) recommendation for beige walking sandals and a feminism message. Man alive.

@Flyinggeese1

I know people are trying to help but only on Mumsnet on a thread about black tie footwear would you get a serious(?) recommendation for beige walking sandals and a feminism message. Man alive.

To be fair, those walking sandals do come in bright pink too

@Divineswirls

In the 90's people under 25 ish were wearing DM's to balls with ball gowns but it's not something that would look cool now with trainers or anything unconventional. It'll look daft

25 (and under) year olds still do that now! Dresses & trainers is a massive vibe - though there isn’t really anywhere to wear a ball gown since the pandemic, they still would wear one with trainers

Meanwhile, in the real world, the sooner the OP realises that looking wacky or kooky, or attempting to stick it to the man by making a style statement, is not going to help her career, the better. Because like it or not, people judge you on your appearance and clothing choices.

I don't disagree that people judge on appearances & clothing choices but I just don't think Converse at a black tie event is particularly kooky or wacky. I also think it could look better over a more sensible, ugly option that is chosen to simply fit the narrow dress code brief.

If you don’t agree, go to your next job interview dressed as a dominatrix. Or a harajuku girl. Or a clown. Or barefoot wearing fairy lights on your head.

Do you put these in the same category as wearing converse to an event?

I think the main thing to into account is that converse with a cocktail dress will look shit