Converse with cocktail dress at black tie dinner?

[BabCNesbitt]

I expect to get flamed for this, but I’ve got a work black-ish tie event coming up (for staff only) and I I’m going to wear a royal blue knee-length 60s cocktail dress. Can I get away with wearing a pair of gold Converse hi-tops with this? I do think it’d look good, but perhaps not appropriate. What other alternatives are there to heels with a dress like this?

@properg

Tina Fey worn converse to the Vanity Fair Party

Tara Palmer Tompkinson once showed up at a formal do in a bikini, a snorkel mask and a fur coat. Should the OP emulate that?

Going against the grain, I wore glittery converse to a wedding with a very fancy purple dress. I've actually never had so many compliments, despite All the poo-pooing here. I guess it depends on your audience and confidence/style.

If she needs the exposure then why not

I think Converse will look much better then a random flat sandal.

These are comfy

www.amazon.co.uk/MaxMuxun-Dancing-Wedding-Glitter-Pointed/dp/B07H8BVCK9/ref=asc_df_B07H8BVCK9/?hvlocphy=9046948&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=360606348664&hvpone&hvlocint&hvpos&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-643406117484&hvrand=5367994987632307740

The ones you’ve picked out are black tie appropriate, block heels are fine and very popular at the moment.

Flat strappy sandals would also be fine, as would nice closed toe flats (imo pointed toes look smarter than rounded ballet flats, which I personally feel make me look a bit like a 16 year old on work experience in non-casual contexts, but either ok).

If you’re going to find those sparkly heels a pain, and likely never wear them again, maybe just go for flats, but I think a heel does tend to look better if you can hack it.

@properg

I think Converse will look much better then a random flat sandal.

If she was going to a music awards show or something where a ‘statement’ would be appropriate I agree it would look great, for a work do I don’t think I’d want to be That person.

How do you want to be perceived at this colleagues only works do?
If they all know you don't give a fuck about formality or 'appropriateness' and that isn't important to you then rock the converse.
If you would rather stay within the bounds of convention then something delicate with a bit of a heel but not necessarily uncomfortable would work.
If you are happy to break from convention and don't give a flying fig for convention get rid of the knee length dress and the block heels and be more adventurous.
For myself: I tried to fly below the radar while being uncomfortable for many years. Now I'm the boss I can be as unconventional as I choose and no one's opinion matters. 😀

In my industry converse would be fine - although I prefer a patent doc marten for formal occassions :D

Probably against the consensus but I wore silver Converse with evening dress to the opera a couple of weeks ago, however I walk with a stick so people tend to take pity! 😁

Converse trainers with a dress is pretty dated. If you want to do flats/ make it more casual DM’s would be a better bet.

“Nobody is going to openly ‘object’ to the proposed converse.

They will just think that the OP hasn’t got a clue and can’t be trusted to meet clients or lead projects.”

@Iamthewombat I do find it strange that you assume that I’m in anything like that position. If I had had the capacity to get to that kind of role, or the slightest interest in or ambition for it, then I’d think it was self-evident that I’d both know that I should abide by a strict dress code and have had more opportunities to learn what one can get away with.

For various reasons to do with my past mental health, I’m overqualified and underemployed and that’s unlikely to change. Expressing myself in how I dress is one of the things I do for fun.

On the contrary. I’ve encountered people at all levels of seniority who have no idea how to dress for all kinds of work events.

The people who wear a cropped top on a dress down day, for example, or a T shirt with an offensive slogan. Either through ignorance or because they think that it’s an occasion to show off how individual and unique they are, not like all those fuddy duddies who need educating, yes, let’s smash the system. It seldom works out well. That’s why I suggested saving the quirky style statements for your private life.

People will judge you on the basis of your appearance, whether we like it or not. They will form a view on aspects of your character based on how you present yourself. Is it fair? Maybe not. Does it happen? Definitely.

Another example would be, in an organisation where formal business wear is only needed occasionally, a man who keeps hoiking out the same suit from 25 years ago, even when styles and cuts have changed, will be seen as out of touch, and not just with fashion.

In response to your second point, you don’t have to be senior to meet clients or lead projects. Projects come in all sizes. You may have decided that the role you are in is more junior than you could manage under other circumstances, but that doesn’t mean that you have to become the office kook whom people have decided is a bit unpredictable and whimsical and can’t be trusted with more interesting work.

Go gold converse as long as you’ve the personal confidence to not give two figs. Much classier than some ghastly kitten heel slingbacks.

My husband is of the not giving a stuff about what others think mindset. He’s happy to turn up in shorts when everyone else is in suits. Never hampered his career in any way.
He’d put his MS on, to not upset someone at a wedding or where it was a requirement for entry but he’d be equally happy wearing shorts when everyone else was sporting toppers.

Then your husband is the exception to the rule. The OP probably won’t be.

Unless you are the kooky girl in the office who wants to spend the rest of her career being a PA, you need to dress appropriately, by which I mean showing that you understand how a professional well-dressed woman should look.

The 'kooky girl' in my office, who had bare feet and fairy lights in her hair for the last black tie event is the head statistician.

[quote BabCNesbitt]@Oldraver Tempted

Thanks for everyone who posted links. Are block heels acceptable for black tie? I have a pair of orange faux suede sandals with a block heel that I can just about walk in, but I thought they’d be too clunky.[/quote]
And hi-top Converse would be so elegant

I bought these from Amazon. Sorry can't link. But search "ComeShun Womens Shoes Slingback Kitten Heels Dress Court Pumps Shoes"

They have them in loads of colours.

A few previous posters have suggested block heel styles from Next, always my go-to option when heels are the only polite solution

Heels are never ‘ the polite solution’. What a ridiculous idea. Heels may be your choice and that’s fine, but they are never required unless you’re on a catwalk.

@JaninaDuszejko

Unless you are the kooky girl in the office who wants to spend the rest of her career being a PA, you need to dress appropriately, by which I mean showing that you understand how a professional well-dressed woman should look.

The 'kooky girl' in my office, who had bare feet and fairy lights in her hair for the last black tie event is the head statistician.

The only professionals who get away with overt kookiness or ostentatious rejection of convention are Larry Page, Sergey Brin, Steve Jobs when alive, Mark Zuckerberg, other owners of high value IP or people who are mavericks but happen to be great at their jobs with skills that are very difficult to source.

Of course, everyone advocating for ‘wear whatever you want, who cares what the fuddy duddies say’ will have a story about their husband who wears shorts to black tie events but whose career hasn’t suffered one jot (that they know of!) etc etc but we all know that for 99% of people, it doesn’t work that way.

Do you genuinely think that the head statistician walking around barefoot at a black tie event with a fairy light tiara, like a pound shop manic pixie dreamgirl, will be taken more seriously as a consequence? I know what conclusion most people would draw, whether they admit to it or otherwise.

ComeShun Womens Shoes

This made me laugh though. Shun women’s shoes!

@LemonRoses

Heels are never ‘ the polite solution’. What a ridiculous idea. Heels may be your choice and that’s fine, but they are never required unless you’re on a catwalk.

This. Absolutely. OP - if you want to wear the Converse, just go for it.

OP, I never wear heels, but have some flat/ low heeled formal shoes. Wear the Converse if you want to (see my post above), but a low slingback or slip on may match the outfit and occasion more. Your choice.

Something like this? More of a sixties vibe