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What happened to S&B?

463 replies

janlevinson · 15/05/2021 18:59

I used to browse this topic regularly several years ago and I enjoyed the recommendations of Ash high tops, Net A Porter sale items and high end make up, amongst other things. Loved reading what LetThemEatCake had been buying.
I've been having migrating over to here again recently after a long time away and it's all Roman Originals, granny sandals and things that "wash well".
WTF happened?
~lighthearted~

OP posts:
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NeverDropYourMoonCup · 20/05/2021 17:23

The concern for me is that splitting it in two would effectively mean one 'young (or aesthetic procedure loving), skinny and rich board' and one 'Old, fat, disabled and poor'.

Like the squabbles about shoes. OK, I agree that Hotter Shoes are hideous. But if I've got to wear them, it would be nicer and more appropriate for posters to say 'those ones are the best least hideous ' or 'how about going for the dark brown rather than mint green?' rather than 'EWWWWW OLD LADY SHOES/I'd rather chop my feet off/why not just get these lovely and completely unsupportive, narrow fitting sandals for £320 instead? They're sooo comfortable when you aren't disabled '.

The first is recognising that being fat/old/disabled/poor doesn't mean an interest in looking good has completely disappeared. The second is effectively saying 'fat/poor/old/disabled people don't belong here with the cool kids'.

QueenCremant · 20/05/2021 17:41

I’ve just read this thread with fascination. S&B has changed over the years but do has the way access fashion.

Back in the day, we’d shop at weekends at the likes of next and Dorothy perkins and go to Coast for occassion wear. Because there was nothing else. We would browse through monthly magazines and get our inspiration from tv/film.

Then the internet took over. And celebrity culture. We had everything from Pinterest to blogs to Instagram and influencers. Suddenly there was much more choice in clothing as internet retailers opened up and even high st retailers had far more stock online. Shopping was no longer trawling the high st all day Saturday when you physically had to hand over money. Returning stuff was a pain so you only brought what you really liked. Now you could buy stuff from your sofa after a couple of glasses of wine. Returns are free and really simple.

Fast fashion took over the high street and internet and it was relatively easy to look trendy for a few quid from primark and Zara.

Influencers all wore the same getting sent freebies from retailers and we all clamoured to look the same.

Then was a social shift and we became environmentally and ethically aware, shunning fast fashion and shunning the influencers getting paid to wear something for photos and then sell on. When blogs first started they were a welcome relief to magazines which had become stale and boring but it didn’t take long for the tide to turn against them.

And now covid has happened. And who knows what the fashion landscape looks like. But all things are cyclical and skinnies, Bretons and the mumsnet scarf will come back on trend!

janlevinson · 20/05/2021 18:29

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

The concern for me is that splitting it in two would effectively mean one 'young (or aesthetic procedure loving), skinny and rich board' and one 'Old, fat, disabled and poor'.

Like the squabbles about shoes. OK, I agree that Hotter Shoes are hideous. But if I've got to wear them, it would be nicer and more appropriate for posters to say 'those ones are the best least hideous ' or 'how about going for the dark brown rather than mint green?' rather than 'EWWWWW OLD LADY SHOES/I'd rather chop my feet off/why not just get these lovely and completely unsupportive, narrow fitting sandals for £320 instead? They're sooo comfortable when you aren't disabled '.

The first is recognising that being fat/old/disabled/poor doesn't mean an interest in looking good has completely disappeared. The second is effectively saying 'fat/poor/old/disabled people don't belong here with the cool kids'.

Agree with you completely. I would need to do some research but I am sure there must be some more stylish brands than hotter that would do disability friendly shoes. And if there's not, then there should be. My sister can't wear heels and has to have shoes with a back to them/side support, but I've seen her in some really nice shoes. I agree though, it is harder to shop.
OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 20/05/2021 18:50

So really we need to be nicer to each other & remember different people have different needs?.

I wear hotter shoes for work. So comfortable.

hettie · 20/05/2021 19:23

I didn't use this board very much for a bit as Instagram and bloggers show the clothes.... But then I realised they're all quite samy.
It's defo changed, getting advice or comparing dresses was very prevelant on here (I got great advice about a dress for a works dinner/ awards thing when I was post baby and skint) now less of that happens. I'm not sure I've seen much that is be influenced by, but then I've kind of refound my style now mk kids are older and I've got a bit more cash so I'm probably less looking for guidance anyway. you can all take my very stylish advice if you like, I am particularly good on shoes

XingMing · 20/05/2021 20:10

My DM [85] always asks me which are the nicest Hotter shoes, and wants a response and also looks at other brands on the internet that promise comfort, so I do look at them. She also has beautiful shoes that she bought 20 years ago, hardly worn, because her life changed very suddenly when her partner died. I am now the age she was then (I hope that makes sense) and I do wear sensible shoes because I walk in the country with a dog. Frankly I have no need to buy sky high heels because I never go anywhere they are expected and I am already 64, so no one expects me to wear Louboutins. But I don't want to wear drab shoes, so I spend lots of time looking for the shoes that scoot an outfit up a gear, preferably five. You know what I mean: it only takes a brilliant accessory to chirp "this is what 2021 looks like".

NotMeNoNo · 20/05/2021 22:37

Hotter have got some good flatform trainers (called Dart) - I mean trainers are meant to be comfortable anyway so does it matter?

Sssloou · 21/05/2021 19:44

This is a great piece about the “style” of Kate Winslet in Mare of Easttown (brilliant if you haven’t seen it) and talks about how it’s all very familiar to “lockdown chic” ..... which I think has really but the breaks on fashion / style etc and forced people stop and re evaluate......very confusing time. Who knows what the new blended working will do to work clothes etc

www.theguardian.com/fashion/2021/may/21/kate-winslet-in-mare-of-easttown-style-icon-of-the-pandemic

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 21/05/2021 20:51

I love S&B & spend most of my MN time on here.
Over the years I've discovered some great brands that I wouldn't have known about so readily - Ally Capellino, Sezane, Hiut, Winser, Wyse, Palones.and going waaaaay back- Boden! I'm not in the UK & boden was a revelation to me 8 - 10 years ago! I had some gorgeous stuff from there.

S&B helped me get out of a style rut when I was a SAHM and then helped me restyle myself when I went back to work.

There was a great thread a while back on 'London Style ' & I followed it avidly & bought a few things as a result of it.

I think S&B is going through a bit of a weird phase but that's reflective of life I think...lots of comfort dressing & wedding dressing & not much in between.

I think it will get better once we all get back to some semblance of normality etc

I think some posters are too abrasive though and are treating it like AIBU..which is a pity.

I'm always baffled by the angst over wedding guest dresses but I find it highly amusing!

pinkmagnolias · 22/05/2021 01:20

I was a frequent visitor to S&B but stopped some time ago too.
I'm not a fashionista but I want to look stylish not comfortable.

RampantIvy · 22/05/2021 08:29

I want to look stylish and feel comfortable, especially as far as footwear is concerned. Comfy but stylish shoes is a common request on here.

MapleMay11 · 22/05/2021 09:26

I was a frequent visitor to S&B but stopped some time ago too.
I'm not a fashionista but I want to look stylish not comfortable.

I never give comfort a thought when I purchase clothing or footwear. I suspect when it comes to footwear, what I consider to be comfortable would differ vastly from a lot of people on here as I'm quite happy to wear heels all day.

Blossomtoes · 22/05/2021 10:15

You don’t need to give comfort a thought unless a garment is uncomfortable. I can honestly say, other than shoes, I’ve never found an item of clothing uncomfortable unless it’s too tight, in which case the solution is simple.

Shoes are something else. Because I have spent my life refusing to wear anything that hurt my feet, I have no corns or bunions - unlike almost all my friends of the same age. Yet I’m a shoe addict and always have been, I just refuse to wear anything that won’t accommodate my high insteps - I literally can’t get my feet into some shoes.

It’s a complete myth that you have to choose between style and comfort.

RampantIvy · 22/05/2021 10:17

Well said @Blossomtoes..

I have the problem with narrow heels, so most slip on shoes are like flipflops on me, so I have to wear shoes that come higher up on my feet, and they never look stylish.

MapleMay11 · 22/05/2021 10:33

@Blossomtoes Why on earth would people persist with footwear that is causing serious issues such as these? I can't recall ever having had a corn and I certainly don't have bunions.

Blossomtoes · 22/05/2021 10:37

[quote MapleMay11]**@Blossomtoes Why on earth would people persist with footwear that is causing serious issues such as these? I can't recall ever having had a corn and I certainly don't have bunions.[/quote]
I don’t know but they do. To be fair, they’re not “serious issues”, they’re conditions that most women of a certain age just assume will hit them at some point.

The reason you and I don’t have them is because we understand that we need the right pair of stylish shoes for our feet and don’t cram them into any old pair just because we like them. It’s astonishing how many women are prepared to put up with painful feet.

MerylSqueak · 22/05/2021 10:38

It’s a complete myth that you have to choose between style and comfort

Is it @Blossomtoes?

I have recently developed foot problems that means I need flat, wide, supportive shoes. The best I have been to find to that are comfortable are only just ok in terms of style. I believe I might never get that, 'oo lovely new shoes' feeling again.

I do find it uninspiring if, for example, on a shoe thread a poster is asking for some comfortable shoes they can walk long distance s in and posters divide into two groups, one suggesting Sketchers and the others saying all the shoes suggested are fully.

MerylSqueak · 22/05/2021 10:39

Able to find

MapleMay11 · 22/05/2021 10:42

@Blossomtoes I could not abide self-inflicted foot pain. Hopefully, our sensible approach will ensure we remain pain free for many years to come. Smile

thedevilinablackdress · 22/05/2021 10:53

I think this very much depends on your own preference and definition of stylish. I think we forget on S&B that we really don't ask mean the same thing when we use this word! I wear trainers, chunky boots, brogues, chunky sandals. Brands like Camper, ECCO, Clarks, Solovair, ASICS. Therefore I don't struggle to find comfort within that. However, if your style is different, if you prefer heels or more formal / dressy / feminine styles, then I can see it will be more difficult.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 22/05/2021 12:31

@thedevilinablackdress

I think this very much depends on your own preference and definition of stylish. I think we forget on S&B that we really don't ask mean the same thing when we use this word! I wear trainers, chunky boots, brogues, chunky sandals. Brands like Camper, ECCO, Clarks, Solovair, ASICS. Therefore I don't struggle to find comfort within that. However, if your style is different, if you prefer heels or more formal / dressy / feminine styles, then I can see it will be more difficult.
It’s a complete myth that you have to choose between style and comfort

If you have 'normal', healthy feet and ankles, true. But not all of us are in a situation where something available on the High Street will meet both needs.

To give a personal example, I have relatively healthy feet in that I do not have bunions, corns, ingrowing toenails or calluses. I look after them. They're clean, well groomed, polished to perfection - and from the moment I walk in the front door from work, they're bare.

However, I also have multiple sites of bursitis in both the metatarsal and intermetatarsal joints, tendonitis, a very wide first metatarsal joint, one foot a good half size shorter than the other, high arches and simultaneously functional arch collapse (so not permanently flat, just when I'm standing for an extended period) and overpronation, all as a result of the glorious conjunction of Psoriatic Arthritis and EDS. They also vary significantly in terms of 'fatness', depending upon what's actually inflamed on any given day. Oh, and one ankle has a tendency to 'ping' and swell up like a balloon randomly.

The solution seems simple; wear nice shoes that accommodate those points. Not simple in practice.

[Gets measuring chart out]

Okay. I'm actually a 4.5 on the right and a 4 on the left. However, the width of my first metatarsal joints are 270mm. There is no shoe in existence, even in the specialist shops, that I have found that accommodates a foot that wide at that size. Men's shoes don't go down that small, children's shoes don't go that wide, women's shoes - well, I might as well just not bother.

The last shoe that sort of fitted was age 9 when I had a pair of Clarks Size 4 GGG fitting, where they sized up to get something that didn't crush my toes. Ever since then, every pair of shoes I have owned has hurt me one way or another, whether it's because they've been too big, too narrow, arch support is in the wrong place if it existed at all or they've just not felt right and I've ended up in pain somewhere or another by halfway through the day. The least painful options have been a pair of size 6.5 Men's walking boots (discontinued), a pair of size 6 Men's steel toecap boots with superthick mountaineering socks, as the lacing held the things on my feet and one pair of dayglo turquoise special edition size 7 Nike trainers for some reason.

I've had to adhere to workplace dress codes throughout that time, though. These do not allow for a set of clodhoppers or some luminous monstrosities at the end of my legs (no, plain black trainers never seem to feature in stores inventories when I need a new pair). I generally have been dragged in for some sort of disciplinary about my non compliance with dress codes at every job and the 'compromise' is generally that I keep my feet hidden on a day to day basis, wearing something vaguely conventional - but far too large - when meeting VIPs.

Whilst my employers want to accommodate, it remains that lots of people believe that style and comfort are not mutually exclusive concepts and they will make judgements of me (and my employer) if I do not look what they term as Professional.

I have a suspicion that either Crocs or a proper set of handmade wooden clogs with a heelstrap might answer most of my problems, but then again, Crocs are horrible and there's still the issue of ankle support. And diabetic boots aren't designed to provide support for actually walking and working - they're there as a extremely unattractive foot covering for people who can't feel what's going on in their feet.

If you can provide details of a retailer that can indeed make attractive looking footwear that also deals with my permanent disabilities and the sizing issues, I would love to hear about it. Or somebody who makes bespoke shoes without charging more than I earn in a month.

AuldAlliance · 22/05/2021 12:42

Yes, there is some seriously judgemental posting on here about foot problems.
I have a bunion appearing on one foot that has been diagnosed as due to the shape of my foot itself and the way I walk (I also have a dissymmetry), not to poor footwear choices.
I have never worn heels or pointy shoes, but I have wide feet with a half-size difference between them. It's a struggle to find shoes that fit both feet, even with insoles, etc.

RampantIvy · 22/05/2021 12:47

Oh, and I have flat feet. Such joy.

thedevilinablackdress · 22/05/2021 13:18

@neverdropyourmooncup that sounds hard. I didn't mean to suggest I had all the answers for people and their own personal circumstances. Just that we all have different tastes, preferences, and needs. And what works for me, might not suit others. I was trying to make the discussion less judgemental. I apologise that it didn't come across that way.

Blossomtoes · 22/05/2021 13:29

@NeverDropYourMoonCup, I could have saved you all that typing if I’d added the caveat “if you’’re not disabled”. Sorry I didn’t. I’m not disabled so it’s not an issue I’d even think about.