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Original poster

Is this too white for a wedding guest?

675 replies

FreekStar · 04/05/2021 21:10

After seeing discussion on this on another thread I'm worried this dress I've bought is now too 'white'- I thought the floral pattern made it ok, but maybe not... What do you think?

www.hobbs.com/product/rosabelle-silk-floral-dress/0121-5906-3793L00-IVORY-MULTI.html#cgid=clothing-dresses&is=false&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=0121-5906-3793L00-IVORY-MULTI&pos=22

OP posts:
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11
BobbidyBob · 06/05/2021 18:33

(And before you say it, “sorry for touching a raw nerve” is not the same as “sorry I upset you”.)

neveradullmoment99 · 06/05/2021 18:36

Its not bridal. Bridal would be completely white. I think it is absolutely fine for a summer wedding.

HeadNorth · 06/05/2021 18:48

@BobbidyBob

(And before you say it, “sorry for touching a raw nerve” is not the same as “sorry I upset you”.)
I am sorry for you that you are so touchy, but I'm not responsible for that. So like I say, I'm sorry I touched a raw nerve, but you sound like such a touchy person and were so ungracious in your response to my apology, you really cannot expect much more from me than that.
motherloaded · 06/05/2021 18:50

@neveradullmoment99

Its not bridal. Bridal would be completely white. I think it is absolutely fine for a summer wedding.
It's 2021... you know bridal no longer has to be "completely white" and flowers - among other things - are quite common don't you?
ShirleyPhallus · 06/05/2021 18:51

I'm sorry I touched a raw nerve, but you sound like such a touchy person and were so ungracious in your response to my apology

Grin I assume that’s cos it wasn’t a real apology!

@BobbidyBob don’t let a stranger on the internet get to you, we are all different and I’m sure you looked lovely on your day Flowers

Itsallhere · 06/05/2021 18:53

But motherloaded, you say “ It's 2021... you know bridal no longer has to be "completely white" and flowers - among other things - are quite common don't you?” Well if that’s the case and brides are wearing more and more unconventional wedding dresses, then they simply have to expect that guests will perhaps be wearing similar to them! No-ones fault but their own!

SaturdayRocks · 06/05/2021 18:53

But BobbidyBob - a guest could have worn - for example - pale yellow or pink which, in the photos, could have made it look like you weren’t ‘obviously the bride’.

I do think this silly second guessing that guests need to do, to ensure the bride isn’t anything except the solitary shining star on her big day - and that her solitary shining star could so easily be diminished by guests’ outfits - just ... baffling.

The OP’s dress is floral, even if you personally wouldn’t describe it as that. It’s literally covered in (coloured) flowers. It’s floral.

The bride is the bride. She is so obviously the bride. Nobody upstages a bride on her big day. They just don’t.

Sorry. I honestly do find this so silly. I don’t mean to be mean or unkind. Genuinely. But as I said upthread, I feel like this makes us women look so, yes, silly. This isn’t something men would dream of obsessing over.

SaturdayRocks · 06/05/2021 18:55

It's 2021... you know bridal no longer has to be "completely white" and flowers - among other things - are quite common don't you?

FGS this is getting more nuts.

Then brides-to-be need to frankly cop on, and realise if they go outside the traditional box, they may well end up wearing something similar to one (or more) of the guests. Confused

HeadNorth · 06/05/2021 18:59

Yup, much of this thread has been, as you say, baffling. I feel like a different species to some of these posters, so anxious and uptight about being upstaged at their wedding. Jeez, you're the one getting married - can you not just chill and appreciate marrying the person you presumably love, rather than get knickers in a knot that someone may 'upstage' you. What a weird word - your not putting on a performance, are you?

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 06/05/2021 19:01

I’m on the fence.. I generally think coloured flowers on a white background is ok (I have a coast dress that is about knee length, with a sash and pink flowers on, that I happily wore to a wedding a couple of years ago).. But there’s something about the floaty quality of this that maybe slightly crosses the line? I’m no help!

Laquila · 06/05/2021 19:07

Holy shit, 22 pages of responses!! FWIW, I love it and think it's fine for a wedding. God I'd bloody love to go to a wedding after a year of so little social contact that I'd happily wear a bin bag 😁

Namechangearoo · 06/05/2021 19:09

I'm sorry I touched a raw nerve, but you sound like such a touchy person and were so ungracious in your response to my apology

And you sound like a Grade A twat.

Op I think the dress is fine.

HeadNorth · 06/05/2021 19:13

@Namechangearoo

I'm sorry I touched a raw nerve, but you sound like such a touchy person and were so ungracious in your response to my apology

And you sound like a Grade A twat.

Op I think the dress is fine.

Wow, you are a charmer. Why so aggressive, fellow human being?
BobbidyBob · 06/05/2021 19:15

@SaturdayRocks yeah I do see your point - and I’d never think about avoiding a pale pastel dress. I think you’re stretching the point a bit though. There’s not loads to consider - just don’t wear something white/mainly white. Some people think this dress is too white, others don’t. To me, if it’s even a question then I’d just pick something else. You wouldn’t and that’s okay! It’s old tradition. Although, weddings are pretty much ALL old tradition, aren’t they?

isn’t black meant to be frowned upon too? Let’s not get into that Grin

BobbidyBob · 06/05/2021 19:15

Oh I do hate a stroke through fail

Itsallhere · 06/05/2021 19:26

I haven’t been to a wedding in ages where the groom has worn tails. Just normal suit. Do we think that male guests stress about wearing the same colour suit as the groom? That’s in actual fact far more likely than a female guest dressing like the bride. Agree with pp who said this makes us look silly

SaturdayRocks · 06/05/2021 19:48

I think you’re stretching the point a bit though. There’s not loads to consider - just don’t wear something white/mainly white.

Perhaps I have, but it’s in the pursuit of unpacking what’s going on here.

Making sure the bride feels like an unmitigated princess on her wedding day is ... silly.

What people wear to celebrate that day ... doesn’t matter.

What does matter, is two people -
equally important: bride and groom - getting married and starting their lives together.

Celebrating with their nearest and dearest.

But we’ve gone down an absolute rabbit hole of it being the bride’s day and nothing, but nothing, must take away from her solitary shining star.

It is beyond infantilising, IMO.

I don’t want to be associated with such, frankly - and I’m sorry to say this, but I do think it is - childish behaviour, that makes us women look and appear ridiculous.

motherloaded · 06/05/2021 19:51

@SaturdayRocks

It's 2021... you know bridal no longer has to be "completely white" and flowers - among other things - are quite common don't you?

FGS this is getting more nuts.

Then brides-to-be need to frankly cop on, and realise if they go outside the traditional box, they may well end up wearing something similar to one (or more) of the guests. Confused

but it's not outside the box Confused

Walk past any bridal shop, and you see flowers, lace, feathers...white/ivory/cream/blush even. Short and long.

That's what you insist on missing completely.

We are not talking about getting married in a purple suit, a navy mini-dress or a black ball gown which would be unusual. Flowery dress have been "a thing" for ages.

Itsallhere · 06/05/2021 20:01

Floral dresses have been a thing for EVER for GUESTS motherloaded. Any floral bridal gowns you see now are a current fashion and are not traditional wedding gowns

motherloaded · 06/05/2021 20:06

I think some people confuse "traditional" and "fashionable"...

Where do you live that every bride you see wear identical wedding dresses?

opinionminion · 06/05/2021 20:07

It's a lovely dress but not for a wedding unless you are the bride/bridesmaid imho

Sooverthemill · 06/05/2021 20:08

I'm late to this but it's a beautiful dress. Please don't be put off. It's in no way a 'white ' dress

Itsallhere · 06/05/2021 20:10

@motherloaded

I think some people confuse "traditional" and "fashionable"...

Where do you live that every bride you see wear identical wedding dresses?

Not confusing the two at all. I’m simply saying that’s it’s ridiculous to expect female guests to not wear a floral dress to a wedding in case the bride is wearing floral. Floral is about the most traditional and common thing worn by female guests at weddings and that shouldn’t have to change simply because there might be a small fashion to floral wedding gowns at the moment. Most guests will not wear a long plain white dress because that’s the brides domain. The bride cannot take whatever else she wants as her domain, without looking like a bridezilla IMO
motherloaded · 06/05/2021 20:21

You can wear floral if you want! Just ... don't wear a white floral dress?

It's not like there's a shortage of available colours available, floral or not floral.

A long or midi white dress like the OP's is not suitable, it's too bridal. The same dress with a different background colour would be absolutely fine.